================
PART XIII
Just good friends.
================

"Right, now let's see ... we have Camomile tea, Green tea, Earl Grey
tea, Blackcurrant tea, China tea and Indian tea ..." Ryoga-chan
recited. "Oh, there's one more ... Darjeeling tea." The guy in front
of her gave her a blank look. "You're not the guy who asked for the
tea, are you?" She wandered off with a sigh, trying to see if she
could see anyone who might want some tea. "R-C, anyone ask you about
tea?" she called.
"Yeah, that guy over ..." R-C spun round slowly in a 360 degree
circle. "... There." She finished, helplessly pointing in two
different directions.
"Fat lot of help you are," she grumbled. She was rescued from this
embarrassing predicament by the arrival of Ranma and Akane. "Hi
there!" She walked over to them. "Ask around and see if you find the
guy who wanted tea," she hissed.
"We need to talk to you for a second," Ranma said seriously. "And
Ucchan."
She blinked for a moment. "Why?"
"You'll see." Ranma sat down at a booth. "Oh, and when you get her,
could you get me a hot cider?"
"Sure. Akane, you want anything?" Ryoga-chan asked, noting the order
on her pad. Akane shook her head to indicate a negative and Ryoga-chan
turned to try and find her way back to the counter.
"It's that way," Ranma pointed.
"I knew that." she lied, turning around again.
Ranma tried not to laugh. "You're still facing the wrong direction."
Ryoga-chan turned around again and headed for the counter, passing a
table where a guy was trying to stop two girls arguing.
"It's your fault, your calculations were inaccurate. I did my job
properly - I backed you up," Maika said calmly.
Miyu was not amused. "Are you implying that I did not carry out my job
correctly?"
Akai looked at them both nervously. "Calm down you two, that totally
hot waitress is staring." He gave Ryoga-chan a quick wave.
Maika and Miyu ignored him. "That is exactly what I'm implying."
The table disintegrated underneath Miyu's punch. "Oh really? Then ..."
"Um ... excuse me?" Ryoga-chan asked, walking over to them.
*Oh my god! The incredibly cute waitress has worked it out! She knows!
The Hyperdolls will kill us both! Why God, why!!!! We're doomed!
Doomed I tell you! Doomed, in case you missed that!* Akai thought to
himself. "Yes?" he said aloud.
Ryoga-chan pointed to a notice on the wall. "I'm sorry, but all
property damages must be added on to the total bill. I'll have to add
that table onto your tab."
*Huh? She's not surprised? Oh my god! The incredibly cute waitress is
an really evil alien!! The Hyperdolls will kill us both! Why God,
why!!!! We're doomed! Doomed I tell you! Doomed, in case ... I just
thought that bit before.* Akai wailed in his head. "That's OK. I'm
sorry about this ..."
"Don't sweat it. Happens all the time." Ryoga-chan looked around. "Um
.. could you tell me where the counter is?"
"It's over there. We'll find another table." Akai watched her walk off
in the wrong direction.
"I detect strange energy levels from that waitress," Miyu said a
moment later.
"Are you sure?" Maika asked. "Sometimes your calculations are
incorrect."
Miyu glared at her. "I checked three times. Each time the energy
levels were abnormal."
Maika looked around the restaurant. "She has a twin sister. Check
her."
"I already did. Her energy levels are normal. Higher than average, but
still normal."
Akai looked at Ryoga-chan, who'd finally found the counter. "Do you
think she's an alien?"
"Maybe. We should keep an eye on her," Miyu decided.
"How?" Akai asked.
Maika and Miyu looked at him for a second. "I have an idea," Maika
said after a moment. "Akai, ask her out."
Akai looked horrified. "Are you insane?!! She might be a dangerous,
blood thirsty alien!!!"
Miyu sighed. "We only want to check her reactions. If she says yes,
and it turns out we're wrong, you get a ... what was the phrase,
'totally hot waitress' for a girlfriend to compensate."
"No!!" Akai looked at them both. "Besides, what would Shoko say?!"
They advanced on him. "Don't force us to break your neck!!" 
"I'll do it! I'll do anything you say just don't hurt me!!!"
Meanwhile, Ryoga-chan and Ukyo had just made their way over to Akane
and Ranma. "Here's your cider," Ryoga-chan said, handing it over to
Ranma and sitting down opposite him.
Ranma looked at it for a second. "Uh ... Ryoga-chan, why does my
cinnamon stick have an eraser?"
Ryoga-chan winced at the use of her name and looked at the cider. She
blinked for a second, then reached up and took the cinnamon stick from
behind her ear. "Oh! That's why," she said cheerfully, taking the
pencil out of the drink and dropping the cinnamon stick in.
Ranma grimaced. "Yeah ... well ... the reason we wanted to talk to you
both was because I got this through the mail this morning," he said
slowly, handing them a photograph. Of Ukyo and Ryoga kissing. There
was a few moments of silence as their jaws dropped to the floor. If
the back of the booth had not been there, they both would've fallen
over backwards. 
"It's a fake! A fake fake fake!" Ryoga-chan and Ukyo wailed. 
R-C walked over to see what the commotion was about. "Wow! When did
that happen?!! I don't remember this!"
"It _NEVER_ happened! It's a doctored photo!" Ukyo yelled, blushing
furiously. She reached across the table and grabbed Ranma by the
scruff of the neck. "Did you get a letter as well?"
Akane nodded. "It seems to be a plot by someone to get rid of all of
Ranma's fiancees."
Ryoga-chan perked up at this. *If Ranma loses Akane too, I'll be able
to ask her out!* she thought gleefully. Then another thought occurred.
*But what about Shampoo? And I have a bad feeling about this
photograph too. What if I wind up with _all_ Ranma's fiancees?*
Ukyo kept her grip on Ranma. "If you think you can drop me like you
did Shampoo, you've got another thing coming!"
Ranma gulped. Ryoga-chan began to edge away, sensing the coming storm.
"Well, er, you see, my pop ..." he trailed off.
"You father what?" Ukyo said dangerously. 
"Well, he ... uh, he ... um ..."
"SAY IT!!"
"He sent a copy to your father and said the engagement was off and
your dad wants to know when you're going to marry Ryoga ..." Ranma
squeaked.
"_WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_" The big spatula appeared in her
grip. "AND YOU DIDN'T _STOP_ HIM?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ukyo began to whack Ranma over the head with it. Repeatedly.
"I think we'd better have a quick coffee break," R-C commented,
dragging her twin away. R-A and R-D joined them.  And Akai, Maika and
Miyu followed a small way behind.

"I tell you, it's all Ranma's fault," R-D insisted, pacing back and
forth on the grass of the park. "It's a plot by him to get rid of all
his unwanted fiancees. Next it'll be Kodachi."
R-C nodded. "I think I agree. First it was Shampoo, now Ukyo. I vote we
should pound Ranma to a bloody pulp."
R-A shook his head. "Wait a moment. I don't think it's Ranma."
"Oh? And why not, Einstein?" R-D snarled.
"Because he's still attached to Kodachi. Wouldn't it make sense for
him to get rid of her first?" He looked at them. "That photograph was
doctored from that time Ryoga got poisoned. Ukyo leaned over him, and
somebody must've gotten it then."
"But Kodachi isn't a fiancee," R-D argued.
"She thinks she is, and she'd always insist she is if asked. He'd most
likely get rid of her too, as a precaution." R-A grinned. "Excuse me
while I look smug for a second."
R-C nodded. "Maybe Kodachi _is_ doing this. She's the one with all the
poisons."
R-D shook his head. "I still say it's Ranma. Lets pound him."
"Lets not. Lets wait. If Akane is next to go, we can leave Ranma to
Kodachi. But if Kodachi is next to go, we'll pound Ranma then," R-A
said.
R-C and R-D nodded slowly. "That's makes sense," R-D admitted. "What
do you think, Ryoga?"
No answer.
"Ryoga?"
"Hmm?" They turned to see Ryoga-chan petting a small tortoiseshell
cat, who was curled up on her lap, purring loudly. "Look, isn't she
cute."
The others all facefaulted.
"That isn't Shampoo, is it?" R-D asked carefully.
"No. Shampoo's white with pink bits. This cat is tortoiseshell,"
Ryoga-chan reminded him. "Do you think Ukyo would let me keep her?"
"Are you mad?! Ranma would never go near the place again!" R-C said.
Ryoga-chan sighed. "Never mind then." She grinned at the cat. "If she
was mine, I'd call her Aiko."
"Well she's not yours. So don't get too attached," R-C said with a
small smile. "We'd better head back in a minute. Who knows - if we
leave now, we may get back by midnight."
Unknown to them, they were being watched. "How do I know which one is
her?" Akai whispered.
"We know. Wait and see if she goes off on her own," Maika whispered
back. They watched as Shampoo rode over to the four Ryogas.
"Nihao!" she said cheerfully, being careful not to run over any of
them.
"Shampoo! What do you want?" R-C asked suspiciously.
"Shampoo want talk to Airen for little while." She paused for a
second. "Alone."
They all studied her for a moment, then Ryoga-chan shrugged. "All
right then. But no poisons, glomping and or spells." Shampoo nodded
and the other three walked away. Definitely not in the direction of
Ucchans. Ryoga-chan turned back to Shampoo. "OK, what is it?" she
asked.
Shampoo sat down next to her. "Is cute kitten," she observed. 
"Hmm. Her name's Aiko ... do you wanna hold her?"
"Sure." Shampoo picked Aiko up. After a few seconds, Aiko jumped out
of her arms and walked back over to Ryoga-chan. "Hmph. Aiko not seem
like Shampoo much," Shampoo said, sounding slightly miffed. She picked
up a flask, took the lid off, and poured a little of the hot water on
the cat. Aiko yowled and ran away.
"Shampoo!"
"Just checking," Shampoo explained with a grin. "Shampoo make you
man?"
"Not at the moment. I'm still in this waitress uniform and I don't
think it'd fit if you poured that on me," Ryoga-chan decided. "So what
was it you wanted to talk to me about?"
Shampoo was silent for a moment. "Shampoo think lots last night, about
.. us. Shampoo know, you not like her much, but ... but ..." *Shampoo
think you quite nice guy actually.*
"But what?" Ryoga-chan asked, not quite sure she liked where the
subject was heading.
"Well, Shampoo think, if we engaged, we should try get to know each
other better. Try not be like Ranma and Akane, always fighting..." She
kept her gaze locked on the floor. *Agree!*
Ryoga-chan thought for a while. *That makes sense ... but what about
the vanishing fiancee thing? If it _is_ Kodachi behind it all, Ranma's
bound to get rid of her somehow. And then Shampoo and Ukyo are certain
to go running back to him ... and Akane. But what if Ranma's behind
it?" After a while she decided. "Er ... yeah, t-that's a good idea
.." *After all, what harm can that cause? If anything, I might make a
friend ...*
*GLOMP* "Shampoo!"
"Who are you calling Shampoo?!!" Ryoga-chan snarled. *Jeez! I get one
Amazon to stop glomping me, and another one starts!*
Shampoo whacked Mousse over the head. "Stupid Mousse!"
Mousse pulled his glasses back over his eyes. "Oh. Sorry, miss." He
turned to face Shampoo, then turned back to face Ryoga-chan again.
"Excuse me, aren't you the sister of Ryoga Hibiki?"
"No ..." she started.
"Yes," Shampoo lied.
"What are you doing," Ryoga-chan hissed.
"If he find out who you are, he try kill," Shampoo hissed back.
"But he'll find out sooner or later. Besides, I can beat him,"
Ryoga-chan whispered in reply.
Mousse looked at them both. "What's going on?" he asked suspiciously.
Ryoga-chan turned back to face Mousse. "I'm not Ryoga's sister. I _am_
Ryoga."
Mousse blinked. "Huh?"
"That Airen," Shampoo confirmed. 
"What? Is this some kind of joke?" Mousse asked in annoyance.
"It's no joke. I got my curse altered ..."
"DIE!!"
Ryoga-chan flung Mousse into lower earth orbit before he could get one
step further. "What a pain. And he used to be my friend, too!" she
said with a slight edge to her voice.
Shampoo sighed. "Shampoo have need keep eye on stupid Mousse now." She
stood up. "Shampoo be on way now, have deliveries to make. We
friends?"
Ryoga-chan grinned. "Sure we friends." 
Shampoo grinned back. "Shampoo see you later. Bye now!"
It was a few moments after she'd disappeared from sight that
Ryoga-chan thought *Damn! I should've asked her to take me back to
Ucchan�s!*

End Part XIII
Final Song - Strange Days

====================
PART XIV
Never fear (much)
The Hyperdolls are here!!
====================

Maika and Miyu decided they'd waited long enough. "She's alone now.
Go, Akai!" Miyu hissed, shoving him out from behind the bush they were
hiding in.
Akai advanced on Ryoga-chan with a lot more than just a little
reluctance. The only thing that stopped him running away was the fact
that the Hyperdolls scared him more than the thought that she _might_
be a bloodthirsty alien monster. "Uh ... hi," he said, trying to sound
calmer than he felt.
Ryoga-chan turned around. "Hello?" 
Akai scuffed his feet against the floor. "Um ..." *Think, Akai! Think
of something to say!*  He was hit by inspiration. "I think you forgot
to add the table to the tab, because we weren't charged for it."
Ryoga-chan blinked. "Oops!" She jumped to her feet. "Could you show me
the way back there and pay for it?"
"Sure." *Damn Hyperdolls! The amount they cost me in property damage
..* They began walking. Akai sincerely hoped Maika and Miyu were
following. "So, um ... what's your name?" he asked after a moment.
"Ryoga Hibiki," she replied politely. "What's yours?"
"My name's Akai Hideo." He decided he may as well get it over with
now. "So, Ryoga, doing anything Saturday night?"
Ryoga-chan looked surprised. *What?!! Is this guy asking me out?!!*
"Why do you ask?"
Akai gritted his teeth. *I'm gonna kill those two ...* "Well, I was
just wondering if you might possibly maybe consider going on a date"
He paused for a moment. "With me." *Say no!*
Ryoga-chan wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. On one hand, she
thought it was genuinely hilarious that this guy really thought she
was datable material. On the other hand she was angry and upset that
she'd spent months and months trying to pluck up the courage to ask
Akane out and this guy had the courage to ask her within about ten
minutes of meeting her. Plus the total irony that the first time she
was ever getting asked out was when she was a girl. Time for a little
white lie. "I'm flattered ... but I already have a boyfriend."
Phew. That was a close call. Akai smiled in relief. *They can't hurt
me - she turned me down flat.* "I'm not surprised, a cute girl like
you," he said cheerfully, not seeing the scowl appearing on her face.
"So what's he like?"
Time for another lie. *I'll just describe Ranma ... after all, every
single girl _I_ know is madly in love with him ... no. I can't do
that. I don't even know what they see in him. I'll just have to
improvise.* "Umm ... well, ... he's cute and strong and kinda smart
and a real good cook ..."
"Really?" Akai was genuinely interested. *Mental note - learn to
cook.* He'd always wondered what girls looked for in guys. "He sounds
too good to be true."
Ryoga-chan shrugged, trying to look innocent. "Well, they do say love
is blind."
"Until marriage restores the sight," Akai quipped. "So what does this
wonderboy look like?"
*Now what the hell do I say?!!* she thought, feeling slightly panicky.
"Well, um ... he's um ... he's got brown eyes and um ... really dark
drown hair and he's got the nicest smile ..." *Now I'm beginning to
understand how hard it was for Ukyo to pretend to be a guy!*
*It's a pity she might be an alien. She's really nice. And real cute.
Why are all the cute aliens homicidal?* Akai thought with a sigh. *Ah
well. Nearly there.* All he had to do was converse for a little
longer. "What does he do?"
Ryoga-chan's extremely short temper snapped. "Jeez! Enough with the
third degree! Why not just shine a light in my eyes?!!"
Akai blinked. *Argh! She knows! She knows I'm helping the Hyperdolls!
She's gonna kill me!!!" However, months of hiding his secret had long
since stopped him from blurting things out on pain of death and to
think (a bit more) quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," he
said quickly. "What about you? How long have you been working at
Ucchan's?"
Ryoga-chan relaxed. "Just started today with my sister and brothers...
and here we are!" She pushed open the door.
*CLANG*
"OW! What the heck was that for?!!" Ryoga-chan yelled.
Ukyo glared at her. "YOU left me to try and reason with Ranchan, the
king of denial. Thanks to YOUR lack of help ..."
Ryoga-chan grabbed Akai by the arm. "Akai has to pay for a table."
Akai looked nervously at Ukyo's large spatula. "It was a total
accident ..."
Ukyo closed her eyes. "That's fine. It happens all the time. Here's
the bill."
Akai groaned inwardly. Tables always cost more than they looked like
they should. *I'm going to kill those two ...* he thought, handing
over the money.
Maika and Miyu burst into the restaurant. "Akai! So when's your date
with the totally hot waitress?!!" Miyu shouted.
Ukyo, R-C, R-A and R-D (who'd all just found their way back) were
instantly all ears.
"Date?!!"
"What?!! With you?!!"
"Totally hot waitress?!!"
Ryoga-chan glared at them. "Haha. Akai's gonna go away now ..."
*If only looks could kill ...* Akai thought angrily. "We need to talk
.." he snarled at Maika and Miyu, dragging them to a booth. "None of
these people are related to me," he called over his shoulder.
"Neither are any of these people anymore," Ryoga-chan growled, glaring
at her 'siblings.'
"Sooo ..." R-D began with a smirk.
"We're not going to talk about it now," Ryoga-chan snapped. "Got that?
As of now, this conversation is over."
Ukyo dragged her behind the counter. "Well this one isn't," she
hissed. "You have to talk to Ranchan because there is no way I'm
marrying you."
Ryoga-chan blinked. Then burst into hysterical laughter, doubling over
and almost in tears. "Mu-ma-mar-marry yu-yu-you?" she gasped.
"Th-ha-thats fu-fun-unny!" She didn't notice the scowl deepen on
Ukyo's face as she collapsed on the ground, still laughing. "Th-hat is
so, so, funny!"
*CLANG* 
"OW!"
 "AND WHAT'S SO FUNNY THEN?!!!"
R-C shook her head with a small laugh. "Let's hide in the corner for a
while in case she mistakes us for him," she advised R-A and R-D.
Ryoga-chan glared at her boss and stood up. "What did I ..." 
"Prrrrr" 
She looked at the small kitten nestled in her arms with amazement.
"Aiko! You came back!!" She hugged the little cat in delight. "Awww
.. you're so sweet ..."
Ukyo glared at her for a moment longer. "Ahem. We were just talking
.."
Ryoga-chan ignored the increasingly enraged chef and carried Aiko over
to the refrigerator. "L'il Aiko want some milk? And some fish?" The
purring increased in volume. "Daddy'll get you some now."
*BANG*
"OW!" Ryoga-chan rubbed her nose where it'd hit the spatula. "Is there
some reason that thing was in my way?"
"No. I just felt like inflicting pain on you," Ukyo snapped. "Now get
that animal out of here."
"But she's so sweet and cute and ..."
"I DON'T CARE!!!" Ukyo sighed at the hurt expression on her face.
"This is a restaurant. I can't have animals in here."
"So I'll take her out the back," Ryoga-chan said stubbornly.
"She can't stay here. It'd be unhygienic ... and Ranma ..."
Ryoga-chan scowled. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot Ranma was Lord of the
universe and whatever he says goes." She hugged the little kitten
closer. "Just hold her for a second," she pleaded.
Ukyo's expression softened as she picked up Aiko. "She is kinda cute
.. but she still can't stay here." Aiko mewed and jumped out of her
arms, running straight back over to Ryoga-chan.
"Please?"
"No." Ukyo crossed her arms sternly.
Ryoga-chan put on a surprisingly effective girlie pout. "Fine then."
She stomped over to the doorway.
Ukyo blinked in surprise, then ran over to block her path. "Whoa,
where do you think you're going?!"
Ryoga-chan looked up at her in annoyance. It really bugged her that
when she was a girl, she was shorter than Ukyo, Akane and even
Ranma-chan. "I'm taking her back to _my_ house." 
Nose in the air, she stalked past her surprised boss. A scowl spread
across Ukyo's face and she grabbed Ryoga-chan by the back of the
apron. "Get back here! Your shift isn't over yet!" 
Ryoga-chan, being monstrously strong in either form, barely even
slowed down. "So I'll come back and work overtime. Big deal. Aiko
needs food more than these people do." Ukyo placed a foot on either
side of the doorframe to stop Ryoga-chan from dragging her down the
street and yanked hard. The back of the apron ripped in half, and
Ryoga-chan landed flat on her face on the pavement. Ukyo landed flat
on her back inside the restaurant. And Aiko managed to avoid injury by
jumping out of her adopted owners arms and landing in front of her.
"Prowww." She batted Ryoga-chan on the nose. Translation - Hey.
"Aiko! Are you all right?!! Are you hurt?!!" Ryoga-chan scooped the
kitten into her arms and hugged her.
"Mroww." Translation - I'm fine.
Ukyo sat up slowly. *That jerk! Doesn't even check to see if _I'm_ all
right!!*
"Prrrrr." Translation - Feed me.
She hefted her spatula. *I'll teach him to respect his boss!*
"Meow." Translation - I hope you realise, dear owner, that the girl
you just landed flat on her spine is wielding a giant spatula with a
lot of aggression. I think you'd better avoid it pronto, because it's
heading your way.
*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*
Maika looked over at them and sighed. "Should we intervene? If this
Ryoga person is really an alien, then the chef may be in danger if she
keeps smashing her over the head."
Miyu nodded. "Yes. Lets." They made their way over to the duelling
teens. "Excuse us. We'd like to order some food?"
Like magic, Ukyo immediately stopped hitting her waitress over the
head. "Sure! I'll be right there." She nudged Ryoga-chan with her toe.
"Get up, you. You can feed the wretched thing some food and keep her
here for the rest of the day. But then she goes." She dragged R-C, R-D
and R-A along too. "You three, stop slacking and get cracking!"
"Thank you _so_ much," Ryoga-chan muttered to herself, rubbing the
back of her head and slowly climbing to her feet. Aiko purred and
wound herself around her ankles, promptly tripping her over again.
"Hi. My name is Maika Minazuki." Maika offered a hand to Ryoga-chan,
who flushed scarlet and declined the offer. "You are Ryoga, aren't
you?"
"Yes, I ... um ... well, yes. Did Akai tell you?" Ryoga-chan picked up
the kitten again and looked around for the refrigerator.
"Yes." Miyu appeared on the other side of her. "My name is Miyu
Fumizuki. We're cousins. Akai is our ... friend."
"It's ... it's n-nice to meet you," she stuttered in reply. Cute girls
always made her nervous even when she was a girl. After all, she was
still a guy at heart. "Could you tell me where the fridge is?"
Maika looped an arm through Ryoga-chans. "It's this way."
Miyu looped her arm through Ryoga-chans other arm. "We'll show you the
way." They began to frogmarch her towards the counter.
Ryoga-chan whipped her head from side to side. "T-that's very kind of
you, but you don't have to hold on to me," she stuttered, red-faced.
"You have a very cute kitten," Maika observed. "What is her name?"
Ryoga-chan tickled the kitten under the chin. "Aiko. Isn't she
adorable?"
Ukyo glared at the three of them out of the corner of her eye. "What
do you want to eat, then?" she asked Akai.
Akai dragged his gaze away from the three girls feeding and petting
the small kitten. "Ah, sorry. One large special, please." *Bet they'll
make me pay for it again.*

End Part XIV
Final song - Amidst The Chaos Of The Day
Member 30 of SSoAGMA, Deadly Everyday Object Weaponary Technique, Dragon Warrior Style
Mousse no miku; Generally dangerous English otaku
Member of the Chan club; Wos; Head Castrator of the Hotnit Feminisation Project; SOotCiP; Supporter of cliched pairs;
Keeper of the Moneybags for the Hotnit Fan Club; CotMHW - Launderer of the Robes of Death; SLAP;
4th Gen. EOE; Image Consultant For "That Guy"; #WASHU#;AKPReSS, Gen. Div.
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