"The Eternal Lost Lurker" <lurkerdrome@worldnet.att.net> wrote:

*Tasukete...onegai, tasukete! TASUKETE!*

I'd prefer to have as much of this as possible translated into English,
but maybe that's just me....

Ranma was walking, not on the fence as usual, but on the sidewalk. He was
gazing down at the ground, and there seemed to be a tangible aura of unease
about him. "I'm fine Akane."

Grammatical nitpick here... should be a comma after fine; otherwise he's
saying that he's "fine Akane."

BTW, I like this characterization of Akane a lot... tempremental, while
at the same time genuinely concerned.

Up ahead, he saw Akane and Ranma. Akane was a plus. Ranma was a definite
minus.

Oh well, he'd come this far. Might as well reunite with his beloved...

No Akari in this continuity?

Ranma noticed this, and for a moment, her eyes lit up as well. "Oh,
kawaii!" she enthused in a rather bubbly voice. P-chan blinked. Akane
glanced at Ranma in mild shock. "Uhh...Ranma? Are you sure you're feeling
okay?"

This paragraph needs to be split up so that only one of them talks in
any given paragraph.

This was an interesting intro. I haven't read this series before. I'm
not at all familiar with MKR, but as long as my lack of knowledge
doesn't get in the way, I'll be interested in reading more of this.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics