rbarnes@moscow.com (Bob Barnes) wrote:

Ooops, the case of the repeating typo, eh? As for the
passive voice here... I was hoping at least some of the
readers would be surprised to learn that this is Genma. I
think it's a habit of mine to write the lead up to a
(hopefully) surprise bit in the passive voice to sort of
signal that something's up.  Do you think a more active
voice would help better?  I mean in setting up the surprise?

I don't think it'll make any difference as far as the surprise factor;
it'll just read better.

The Captain's only concern had been put to rest when
Ranma-onna beat him in arm wrestling. He could do the job in
either form.

That'll work.

Actually, the idea that Ukyou abrogated her engagement in
that confrontation is not original with me. I borrowed it

>from Dave Eddy with his permission. Akane might have come

away from witnessing the scene with that assumption about
Ukyou being Genma's illegitemate son and changed her mind
later when she discussed it with Ranma.

I don't quite understand... my point is that Ukyo couldn't have
mentioned the engagement at all while Akane was watching, otherwise
Akane never would've made that assumption. So what makes her think that
Ukyo actually said this? Is it just Genma's word?

I'm assuming Akane finally figured it out on her own, but
had to act like she hadn't for a while in order to maintain
their masquerade. In other words, she had to sleep with P-
chan a time or two _knowing_ he was actually Ryouga. A
powerful motivation to do whatever it takes to be able to
end the whole charade, eh?  

Actually, if this is a post-manga story, it was pretty much already
ended. Ryoga had given up on Akane and settled on Akari by the end. If
he ended up at the Tendos as P-chan after that, it surely wasn't
intentional.

Oh yeah, and also for a bit of revenge on Ryouga. Wait until
the next part when Akane points out to her sister (in
P'chan's hearing), "Oh no. P-chan isn't a baby pig at all!
He's a full grown boar of a very rare breed called a
Byankhala Pygmy, and he's an absolutely perfect example of
the breed, too... almost as if he was some kind of throwback
or something. Anyway, P-chan is a boar among boars!"

*Sigh*... Personally, I hope Akane decides that she'd overreacted, and
ends up setting the poor guy free. I mean, I can certainly understand
why she's mad at him... but one of the things that makes Ranma and Akane
likeable, IMO, is their ability to forgive. (And yes, Akane DOES forgive
Ranma too, though often not until after pounding him a good one.) Having
Akane change her mind about this would be a nice bit of character
development, and would show that even this new version of her isn't
perfect and has some learning to do.

Just my 2 yen. :-)

*sigh* I think I'm a naturally gabby writer when I write
dialog. I'll see what I can do, but there's a heck of a lot
of exposition to get across, somehow. And a lot of setup for
future events. I make no promises. If it helps, think of it
as trying to avoid a deux e machina in order to wind it all
up at the end.  Did I spell that right?

Nope. :)

Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics