As for responses to fics, sometimes it takes time to sift through
everything the FFML sends. I'm a huge Shirow fan, and I loved the anime
for GitS, so I was all over your post when it showed up. 

Overall I found that you had done a decent job in capturing the feel of
the GitS world and its characters, which is pretty good for a fic that
was less than 50K. On the critical side I have two major points to make.

1. For all the trouble Bateau went to in order to cover up Major
Kusanagi's survival at the end of the anime, he goes and spills his guts
about her to Aramaki with an almost off-handed casualness in this 'fic.
The benefits of betraying the Major's trust in this 'fic: the support of
Section 9. The downside: if you can call it a downside, Aramaki
threatens to suspend Bateau. That's it. There were good reasons in the
anime why it was decided that Kusanagi had to go away, and they all just
went up in smoke. It seemed like a cheap and easy way out of writing the
fic the way it should have been done -with Bateau covertly helping the
Major while keeping everyone in Section 9 scratching their heads.
Everything about the character of Bateau suggests that he would protect
her secrecy, even if it meant breaking the law and lying to his
superiors (just like he did in the anime.)

2. The murder of Ishikawa really seemed to be useless carnage here. If
the murder was to demonstrate what a badass Edwards was, the desired
effect was destroyed with the ease in which he is brought to heel by the
Major's ghost-hack. It was so easy that you didn't even bother to
describe it. I really felt let down by this ending, as I was expecting a
truly worthy adversary in Edwards, and he ended up being a joke.

Ask and ye shall receive,
Jamie
-- 
       "Why are they wearing bras?"
          -Rachel Wilde, age 4,
while watching the Dirty *ahem* Lovely Angels...
________________________________________________
   Come and see the fanfics and food of
         Bridget and Jamie Wilde!
            wildeman@psn.net
      http://www.psn.net/~wildeman/