From: "The Eternal Lost Lurker" <lurkerdrome@worldnet.att.net>
To: "Razorclaw X" <spiceoflife@HOTMAIL.COM>, <rayous@HOTMAIL.COM>
Cc: <ffml@fanfic.com>
Subject: Re: [FFML][C&C) [ranma 1/2][Sailor Moon]A new fic by a new
writer
Date: Tue, 2 Feb 1999 21:38:02 -0600
Hi, I'm Razorclaw X, one of the most blunt and possibly cruel
commentors out here. Say what you like, but I'm here now.
As well as one of the least informed...you have a LOT of
misinformation,
Razorclaw. In an attempt to straighten out the mess you made of this
C&C...
"JUPITER THUNDERBOLT ZAP!"
The lightning bolt flew into the Youma... and continued through,=20
scorching the street behind it.=20
I won't pretend to know what this 'thunderbolt zap' is, but if youma
are still running around....
Come on, at least pretend to help this poor author. Would it hurt to
inform
this person that the proper name of the attack is 'Supreme Thunder'?
well, the reason i used the thunderbolt zap was that the last episode i
saw was the english translation in which they fought the gloom and doom
brothers. In that i believe she says "Jupiter Thunderbolt Zap!" blasting
one of the brothers out of the ground. I was going to use later sailor
scout stuff but i have no idea what Oak evolution or any of the other
newer special attacks look like.
"He did" said Amy, pointing to Ranma, who was busy trying to get=20
crystal shards out of his black pants.
Traditionally, you don't cross the NA names with the Japanese names.
(you don't pronounce 'Ami' the same as 'Amy'). Also, while the girls
are
in their transformed states, they usually refer to each other as by
their names (Sailor Moon, etc...)
This much is quite true.
sorry, i was referring to them by actual name, not scout name because
they werent actualy talking. Whenever they said something they used
their sailor names, but while they were thinking i mistakenly believed
they would think their real name, as their mentality doesnt change with
the transformation. Thank you, ill change that.
"Aw, It was 'nothin. I'm a martial artist. We do that sort of thing
all=20
the time where im from. Well, I got to get back to Nerima, Akane=20
probably thinks I'm with Unchan or something. Uh, where am I
An actual bit of C&C on the story here: should be 'Ucchan'.
well ive seen it spelled unchan, ucchan, utchan, ect. It realy depends
on the writer. However, i that spelling looks much better, so ill use
it, thanks.
The scouts all face faulted
And you need a period there.
"Your in Juuban" said Amy, recovering her wits quickly. "Juuban?
Dang,=20
Akane got some good hang time this time. Well, I gotta go, see you
later=20
sometime maybe."
I hope you break this into two paragraphs. Incidentally, Sailor Moon
is based in Tokyo.
Okay, THIS is what prompted me to reply to this particular C&C.
INCIDENTALLY, Razorclaw X, and everyone else, Sailormoon is based in
JUUBAN, a district in the MINATO ward of TOKYO.
So yes, Sailormoon is based in JUUBAN.
Ranma 1/2 is based in the FURINKAN district of the NERIMA ward of
TOKYO,
*incidentally*, just as a point of note.
If you want to write about Sailor Moon, you cannot mesh both the
Japanese and NA names; people will hunt you if you use 'Negaverse' and
'youma' together, for instance. It has to be one or the other, but
since
there's a general tendancy toward the NA names, stick with that and
drop
'Usagi' and 'youma' altogether.
ok, will do.
Since when is there a general tendency towards the NA names? For every
eight Sailormoon fics I read, only one uses those atrocities.
Ive seen different spellings for their names, such as Rei, Raye, Ray,
ect. The reason i was using "NA" because i well....I forgot what
Makoto's English name was ok!(depressed look)How did the English
translation refer to demons? All i remember were things like "Cardian"
or "Nega Trash". I used Youma because thats the generic term for demon.
If you want to write about Sailor Moon, you cannot make them dumber
than they already are. I mean, even stupid people know that secret
identities are meaningless unless they are a SECRET.
nod, have completely rethough having it so sudden. re-write will be much
longer, with more meetings before they bring him in.
I'll agree with that one, more or less. Secret identities are secret
for a
reason.
If you want to write about Ranma 1/2, you cannot force your opinion
of
him on the reader. A lot of people think Ranma's stupid, and others
may
think he's smart, but you simply can't do that. Forced opinion = death
trap for writers.
Agreed.
Sorry, just doing what ive seen other writers do. Ill keep that in mind.
Wait a sec...would it be alright if i show reasons for this thinking,
like the fact that he can sleep through class everyday, miss a great
deal of school because of a 10 year training trip, and STILL pass his
classes? ;)
If you want to write a fanfic, give the reader a good idea who's
talking, who's saying what, and what they're doing (instead of telling
the reader that so-and-so is doing this blatently).
Agreed.
oh, lurker, thanks for the geography lesson. I'll be rewriting and
putting it out together with the second part. Thanks for the C&C both of
you, ill clear it up.
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