Please don't hesitate to C&C this.
---
Pleasure and Pain (tentative title)
a story by Dot
---
	Akane furiously stomped up the stairs, tears streaming from her 
eyes.

	'Stupid Ranma! Why can't he ever say something nice for a 
change?!?' Akane snarled as she remembered the strange smirk on 
Ranma's face when she punted him out of the house.  'That jerk!'

	Slamming the door behind her, she flopped down on her bed and 
wept into her sheets.  When she finally managed to calm down a bit, 
Akane got out her diary and began writing in her most recent fight with 
Ranma.

	About halfway down the page, Akane stopped.

	'Wait a minute...didn't something like this happen a few days ago?' 
She flipped back to the previous entry.

	While the exact nature of the argument was different, it ended the 
same way, with Akane punching or kicking Ranma into the air to land 
who knows where.

	Akane kept on reading back.

	'Another fight with Ranma...' she turned the page.  'And again, yet 
another fight! It's almost like a pattern...Ranma would insult me, I would 
hit him, and things would be quiet for a few days...' she looked at the dates 
of the entries.  'And recently, this has been happening more often...'

	And then Akane remembered something else.

	"The iodine's being used up awfully fast," Kasumi had noted 
earlier.

	"Ranma's probably using it," Nabiki had replied.

	"But no one would use that much iodine in such a short time! It 
stings something horrible!"

	'Oh, God...' Akane rushed downstairs.

	"Why, hello, Akane!" Kasumi greeted cheefully.  "I'm so glad to 
see that you're not angry any more."

	"Onee-san, did you see which way I kicked Ranma?" Akane asked 
breathlessly.

	Kasumi pointed.  "I think it was toward the industrial area, but I'm 
not sure."

	Akane never ran faster in her entire life.


	Almost giggling with anticipation, Ranma fumbled with the iodine 
bottle, nearly spilling it in his haste.  He tried to steady himself, but his 
hands still shook as he unscrewed the bottle cap and poured some of the 
noxious liquid into it.  Still shaking, he brought the cap over the long 
scrape along his leg.

	Drip.

	Pain.  Glorious, magnificent, burning pain.   Ranma smiled.

	Drip.

	Spilled a little too much that time.  Steady.

	Drip.

	The tips of his nails were turning brown.  He would have to wash 
his hands later.  With nice, hot, scalding water and lots of soap.

	Drip.


	Akane choked back a gasp when she finally found Ranma.  He was 
sitting--no, slouching--in a dirty, deserted alley, dripping something on his 
leg.  Akane didn't have to see the bottle next to him to know that it was 
iodine.

	What was even more frightening, though, was the look on his face.  
It was a wild, estatic expression, like a drug addict who had just taken a 
hit.

	"Ranma," she managed to squeak out.

	For a few seconds, Ranma froze like a deer in the headlights.

	Then he looked up at her, his eyes desperate.

	"Help me," he whispered.  "I can't stop."

	He didn't have to ask twice.

	Akane hugged Ranma tightly.  "Oh, God, I'm so 
sorry...ohgodohgodohgod..."

	The iodine cap dropped from Ranma's limp fingers, and a relieved 
sob escaped his lips.


June 7
	Ranma went to see a psychiatrist today.  Turns out that his self-
mutilation was being caused by a severe form of depression.  Thankfully, 
though, the doctor said that all he needed was some medicine and lots of 
love.  Ranma's taking both regularly now.

	Ranma's entire body is covered with horrible scars.  I'm quite 
certain, though, that the ones on his soul are much, much worse.  He tells 
me that he still has very vivid, realistic nightmares about bleeding to 
death.  I have to stay with him until he falls asleep and leave a nightlight 
on in case he wakes up.

	Uncle Genma doesn't rant and rave about his "coward of a son" 
anymore.  As soon as Aunt Nodoka found out about what happened, she 
marched over to our house and dragged Uncle Genma into the dojo.  I 
couldn't quite understand what was being said, but after that, Uncle 
Genma only talked when Aunt Nodoka spoke to him.

	A little while after that, Cologne came by and nullified Ranma's 
marriage to Shampoo.  She had the nerve to say, and I quote, "the Amazon 
Tribe has no need for the weak of mind."  Ranma secretly held hands with 
me during that.  He looked like he was about to cry.

	Ukyou hasn't stopped by, though.  She probably feels 
uncomfortable, like my classmates do.  Even though I pretend not to hear 
their whispering, it still hurts.  I don't really blame them, though.  I can 
understand how they feel.

	I still can't believe how long it took me to realize what was going 
on.  I was so blinded by my anger that I shut myself in.  I even thought I 
hated Ranma for a while.

	I'll never be able to forgive myself for that.
---
Dedicated to Keener and others who have gone through those long, dark, 
and lonely nights.



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