Subject: Re: [FFML][Fanfic][R1/2] Shampoo 1/2 Chapter 39: Aftermath
From: "D.B. Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
Date: 12/29/1998, 11:16 PM
To: "Freemage ." <freemage@hotmail.com>
CC: <ffml@fanfic.com>
Reply-to:

Freemage wrote:


Whooo....  I guess someone decided to turn the humour setting up to 
Ultra-Double-Maximum-with-a-Twist, eh?

Well, the last time there was anything to laugh about was around chapter 36
where Lime got himself a wife. I figured it was time to put at least a
little of the humor back in the series now.


Now, on to the major events/themes:

Ah, yes. Let's. 


Genma vs. D'Amour:

An interesting way to lead off. 

    This scene officially destroyed any viable doubts anyone could have 
about your skill as a writer.  I mean, any time someone has _me_ 
cheering for Genma....

Heh. That is quite the feat, knowing you. (Need any extra panda blankets,
by chance? ^_^) 

And here I though D'Amour was quite the charmer too.


Doc Sangre & Bubbles:
    D'oh!  You really are shameless, aren't you?

And here I was afraid no one would get the 'Sangre' joke. It could have
been worse, though. I almost went with a trio of physicians by the names of
Dr. Howard. Dr. Fine. and Dr. Howard. You REALLY would not want to be
operated on by those three stooges ^_^.


Herb & Domino:
    You do understand that the contents of this exchange mean that we 
all now fully expect Shampoo 1/2, Vol. 2, The Return of Herb, right?

I think it was pretty obvious I managed to talk myself into doing it there,
as well as expanding TWPOS's crew roster a bit. I layed a bit of groundwork
earlier on, but this is pretty much the one that cinches it. The catch is I
probably won't be doing it in the near future. I'll need a break from
writing stories in the same universe for a while.


D'Amour, Aki and Minami:
    Ah, well, it was a valiant effort.  Maybe next time, they'll think 
to swipe his blade.

That would be an extrordinarily bad idea. D'Amour and the sword should stay
with one another. It's just better for everyone that way.


Ukyou & Ai:
    I want you to understand that I fully appreciate the needs of 
dramatic resonance, 

Okay (I detect a 'but' coming up).

and I appreciate that an author must tell the story 
as it demands to be told. 

I see...

That said, 

This is where the 'but' comes in. ^_^

if Ai dies, I release the hounds, 
got it?

I understand. Looks like final resolution to that situation will be covered
in the second epilogue.


Ryouga and Kyoko:
    That girl's gonna have to go through BT-training if she wants to 
last in this relationship.

Heh. I can somehow see her buying boulders and crashing into them for her
man.


Kasumi, Master of Ancient Amazon Lore:
    This is going to be explained, right?  Right?  RIGHT?

<No comment. Sorry.>


Kunou, the Warrior Fallen:
    I told you that the duel was one of my favorite parts.  

Ah, yes. I do remember you saying that. 

You continue 
to give Kunou just the right touch.

Thanks. He's probably the most underused main character in this series. He
just didn't really have a chance to shine, save towards the end here and in
the chapters where he learned the Jurain Sword Techniques.


"Ranma wondered if maybe he should ask his father about how he came to 
understand his mother."
    I coughed up a spleen, but Gosunkugi came along and swiped it.

Hehehe. But seriously. Ranma is operating under the mistaken assumption
that:

Marriage = Understanding the opposite sex.

As any married couple will tell you, this is clearly not the case. Perhaps
he will get a chance to learn this firsthand.


And for the big points:

Ah, yes! The big stuff.


Akane:
    Shit.  Shit shit shit shit shit shit! 

No, seriously. Tell me how you really feel about it. Don't hold back.

I know this is the only 
logical outcome for her, but damn it hurts. 

Well, that's good, sort of. I wanted the pain that she (and Ranma, to a
lesser degree) is going through from the final acceptence of the break up
to be intense. I definetly wanted to avoid seeming to gloss things over, so
I went with something not overlong, but hopefully not understated either.
Short, but still to the point. Guess it worked then, eh?

Especially knowing that 
Soun is still going to be going on, prattling on about the joining of 
the family lines. 

Regrettably, true. But even he won't be including Akane for that particular
consideration.

I really hope that the first time he or Genma does 
that near her, she feeds them the business end of a really LARGE mallet.

Trust me. Talk of uniting family lines is not going to a conversation piece
around Akane. Just the other unfortunate Tendo girl that's going to have to
put up with it.


Shampoo & Ranma:
    Their continuing troubles make one hell of a lot of sense.

Indeed. They may have triumphed over the most important problem(s), but
there are still aplenty waiting for them over the horizon. We've still got:
Parents are against the relationship. Still both cursed. Jusenkyou
destroyed. Joketsuzoku law. Inability to bear children. Herb still wanting
revenge. How the remaining 'vows' they made might impact on their lives.
Everyone blaming Ranma for screwing up the world's weather patterns.
Ranma's 'normal' problems that follow him wherever he goes.

Oh yeah, Gemma is in the process of slowly beating them to death too. Did I
miss anything?

 However, 
I can't help but think that their little bout of selective amnesia has 
let them off the hook, just a touch.

Now this surprised me here. That thought never occurred to me when I wrote
this part. 

    Damnit, these two announced that they would hurt, even destroy 
everything they held dear, just to be together.  I understood that, 
agreed with it, cheered when it happened, but frankly, I think they 
should still have to face it--not just the consequences, but the 
understanding that they knowingly chose those consequences.
    They should not be allowed the luxury of saying, "Well, we didn't 
have time to think about _that_.", 
or, "We had no way of knowing that 
this would result."

Those last two setences would certainly NOT happen. CANNOT happen,
actually. The will to do all of those things was there and will always be
there. Death knew that when s/he 'heard' their answers. In a way, that was
a condition for Shampoo's return: Nothing less than total committment
across the board, essentially now and forever. Inside they both still know
that. Part of the evidence of this was Shampoo's comment to Ranma, after
returning from their talks with Akane and Kasumi, about 'We have inflicted
pain on those we care for.' Deep inside they both realized it for what it
was; fullfillment of one of the vows. 

    To my way of thinking, anything less demeans the choice they made.

I'm glad I had a chance to read this commentary and spent some time
thinking about it (ie: had to go to work and didn't have enough time to
comment beforehand) My knee-jerk reaction was, "Well that's not what I
intended it to be.The sole intent of the 'selective amnesia' was that
Shampoo had been both dead and given a taste of Heaven, while Ranma wielded
enough power to power to break the world. Such incredible experiences are
almost certain to wildly change a person in numerous ways. I wanted to
blunt the possible comments of 'it doesn't seem to me they've changed that
much in spite of what's happened' by having the memories retain a more
dreamlike quality, therefore everything should be okay as is."

However, the more I think about the point you raised the more valid I see
it. I can understand where it would be perceived that not having full
retention of the memories might indeed let them off the hook a little, and
would defintely blunt some of the responsiblity each should feel in what
they swore they would be willing to do. Therefore I will dispose of the
selective amnesia bit. As to any comments that it seems they didn't change
all that much from the experience, it was precisely because of who they
were going in that enabled them to resist Death, Heaven, and the world.
Naturally they would still be 'themselves' after the experience, though
there is also no question that events have changed them as well, just not
unrecognizably so. 
(I think that last part made sense. I'm not real sure.)

See. No matter how many prereaders you have, you can never have enough C+C.
Every bit helps, one way or another.


The Return of Gemma:
    Ack!  I assume that part 40 is already finished, and will be posted 
tomorrow, right?

Not quite. It is going through the prereader stage, but expect to see the
revision and prose rewrite of chapter 1 posted first. Unlike the chapter 7
prose conversion, which was almost a direct rewrite of the script format,
chapter one contains a bit of new material. Included are a prologue with
Herb and the Shogun of the Dark, as well as Kasumi's initial reaction to
meeting Shampoo-kun (something long overdue) A bit was cut here and there,
a tiny bit was added and changed in other places. It doesn't have the level
of changes Jurai-Knight's 'Quantum Destines'  has, but I think it would be
worth reading for people that only have seen it in script the first time.
And I confess it might also be a good chance for latecomers that didn't
feel inclined to start reading a story at chapter 39 of it to hop on ^_^.


In any case, thanks, as always, for a fantastic read.

And thank you for giving such extensive commentary on it. As always it is
greatly appreciated.

D.B. Sommer