[The scene opens on an old wooden porch, where an old
 man is rocking in a noisy rocking chair.  The old man is 
 snoring very loudly and jolts awake before noticing the
 audience.]

Grampa Bastion: Why ello dere, it's nice to have you young
whipper-snappers becoming all nastalgic-like, it's ah 'bout the time 
you youngin' el' listen tah me.  So you want to know how I got my penname?
Well, that's quite ah story dere, sonny.

[The old man smiles to reveal his maize colored teeth.]

Grampa Bastion: I remember all the back to when I first joined the 'list
during the war.  Back then all anime was just stick figures with no of those
manbee-pansee subtitles either.  Sure, we didn't know what the heck they were
sayin' but that's the way we liked it. Anyway, animation 'ere in the States were
just a blank screen, (not that we didn't like or anything), so you can understand
our excitement over this inneevatide Jap cartoooons.  Infact, I was dere when the
list was created by Mother-of-Pearl Wolf, mother of White.  Yeah, he'd like ya tah
think he created the list, but he couldn't put tha wool over my eyes!  

[The old man begins to shift excitedly in the chair, swinging his cane.  He promptly
goes into a coughing fit.]

Grampa Bastion: *Cough* *Cough*, Ahem, hack, patoo!  Now where was I?  Let's see. . .
<hours later> Oh yeah, so yah see back then the 'list was fence we scribbled on to
send messages to each other.  And that's what we did and that's the way we liked it!

[The old man strains the last words out before collapsing into a nap.  The old man
 is stirred awake once more.]

Grampa Bastion: Huh?  You still 'ere, boy?!  Oh, you want to know how I got my name?
Heck I remember, go away and leave me alone before I fetch Happposai on you!

[The view begins to pan back quickly at an unsteady rate through the forest
 as small animal is seen following through the foliage.  The view blacksout as a
 small lecherous man leaps upon the camera.]

The End

I'm sorry, with Ryoucilo on vaction who else is to account for all the weirdness?

Bastion
<look it up in the dictionary>