Sam Shu wrote:

Nube and all other characters belong to creators Takeshi Okano and Sho
Makura, and I think it also belongs to Jump Comics as well.  If I missed
anyone else in this disclaimer, I will apologize now and correct it in
the future.
This is untitled for now but I will come out with one soon.

So here goes

 Neuro sensei, better known as Nube, awoke in a thin sheet of sweat
which covered his body from head to toe.  His head was throbbing and his
mouth was dry.  That voice, his teacher�s voice had called to him in a

You might want to avoid going "his this was this and his that was that".
Repeating words in a sentence generally doesn't work well.  One thing
that might work is integrating them like "awoke with a dry mouth and 
a throbbing head, a sheet of sweat covering him from head to toe".

dream.  It had asked, no begged, for freedom.  Release from a horrid

Sentence fragment.  "for freedom; release from horrid solitude..."

solitude in guard of the demon that made him one of the most powerful

Whoops.  Who do you mean by "him" here?  Nube or his sensei?  

Spiritualist of his generation.  His Oni no Te, or Demon�s Hand.  His
teacher had sacrificed her self to save his life and seal away the evil
of the demon, Bakky.  He had only been a child when these events took

"Baki" would look scarier.  

place, but the image of her being sucked up with the hand had been
placed in the recesses of his mind so whenever he slept, those images
had played themselves out in his dreams.  Except this night had been
different.  Instead of living out the past, he had been visited by the
visage of his former teacher and mentor.  He thought to himself, no more
of that instant ramen before bed and promptly fell back to his pillow
like a rock.

So he isn't very bright, eh?

 Past the partition, separating the area where Nube slept, lay the

No comma here.  

demoness Minki. She had come to release her brother from captivity, but
lost to Nube. She was defeated by her own uncontrolled power, and was
stranded in Japan far from her home in hell.  She now lived in the
quarters at school generally reserved for the teachers who had to pull a
night duty shift, along with Nube.  She thought this strange twist of

New paragraph somewhere around here.

fate was funny in a way.  She was forced to live with the man who had
stranded her here on Earth and had her brother trapped in his left
hand.  She let out a small sigh and got up, it was time to get ready for
school.  She headed for the bathroom, took a shower and changed into her
seifuku.  She had a feeling that this was going to be a long day.

All C&C is welcome, appreciated and much needed.  Thanks!!
Oh yeah, this story is by me Sam Shu (No nickname yet)

It would be nice if you gave some description of these people.  

I look forward to more of this.  I've never heard of this series before.