Memories (a Ranma 1/2-with-cameos! fanfic)
by Nikholas "Mayhem" F. Toledo
To those of you who have the time to check and read your mail and find
this vain attempt in literature, thank you.
The author had been reading fanfics for some time now and has decided to
leave his mark as well. This is my first foray into this art form and
there will be some grammar and spelling errors.
The Ranma 1/2 Universe was created and therefore owned by Rumiko
Takahashi, Viz Communications and Shogakukan. If you do own Ranma and I
have failed to mention you, that is because I am not worthy to even write
your name since you are really incredible people and earn a million
dollars just to write up the characters in the Ranma 1/2 title. I would
also declare that I will not get a single cent from this work and that I
am only doing this to pass away time and for my own personal artistic
fulfillment.
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|Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!|
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Chapter Three
Bumps and Bruises
The man sat quietly at his desk. The air was filled with the drone
of massive engines yet, for him, there was silence. The letter he was
writing lay unfinished, the last character stopping in mid-stroke.
He slumped backwards, the soft chair easing the pains his body had,
but not those of his soul. He hoped the peace would continue, that
perhaps time could heal his inner wounds, but it wouldn't, not now, not
ever. It won't be long that he would have to do through his duties
again... once again...
One by one, the massive turbines shut down. The sound of metal
clanging upon metal and the small jolt that shook the room signified that
the path was no longer his own. He sighed softly, the sudden calm seeming
too loud even for his seasoned ears.
A chime signaled on his desk, vying for his attention.
"Sir," came the voice, "we're here."
The man took on an authoritative air. "I'll be right there," he
said, inner feelings unaffecting his voice. He closed the contact and
closed his eyes, wishing all the pains away.
It has been a long time... much too long...
The Cat Cafe was devastated twice that morning: the first because
of the visually challenged duck, and the other by the navigationally
deficient pig.
Currently, Mousse was still sleeping due to the massive amount of
structural damage and the loss of vital fluids he had sustained. It would
be a little bit later in the morning before he would wake up. Until then,
the two Chinese Amazons would have to do lowly men's work in fixing the
restaurant.
*Tick* The pendulum of the clock in the dining hall moved,
beginning a cycle...
Cologne took the nails and a piece of plywood. Throwing them in the
air, she leaped up, her hands moving too fast to be seen by normal eyes.
With well-placed hits, the wood was cut and smoothened to the desired
size. Nails popped out of her hand like machine gun bullets, catching the
boards in mid-air and attaching them to the hole in the wall. Gravity
finally affecting her, she landed on her staff before it even had a
chance to fall down.
*Tock* The pendulum returned to its initial position, ending a
period and beginning another.
"Chinese Amazon Secret Quick-Fix Technique," she followed. No
Chinese Amazon special technique was complete without naming the maneuver
and noting exactly for how long it terrified a certain Chinese important
person or government official, preferably the Emperor. (This one sent
shivers down the market of woodcraftsmen and repairmen for 1200 years.)
The same is true for any other special ability, hence the Saotome
School of Anything Goes Martial Arts secret cooking technique or the
Drunk-Fu Technique (by any other words, an excuse for drinking too much),
or, perhaps most memorable, the (robot/giant dinosaur)
(laser/ultraelectromagnetic/destructive) (missile/punch/sword/whatever) -
custom requires, no, *demands* that.
Such is the unbelievable might of heritage. So strong as the
strongest of warriors (even giant robots) could not go against it. So
powerful as to be called by one simple word, with no "Special" or
"Incredible" or even "Final Attack" attached to it to elevate the fear in
mortal men - the unmovable dead hand of "Tradition."
Shampoo was commanded by this same ideal to be wed to Ranma. To be
consummated with anyone else would break 3000 years of Chinese Amazon
history. "To that whom shalt be defeated by an outsider, thou shalt
search and kill, even unto the ends of the earth, if she is female, to
maintain the strength of our tribe. If the enemy is male, thou shalt add
his essence to the tribe in matrimony."
The ancient rulebook was created by the honorable founders of the
tribe, shrouded in the mists of antiquity. It seemed ironic that the life
of the living was dictated by the whims of the dead. But still, to break
the legacy would call upon the wrath of all who had come before, those
who had chosen the hard but honored path.
Shampoo silently cooked for her future husband. "She must be wed to
son-in-law," Cologne thought. Every precaution necessary should be taken
to prevent Mousse from kissing Shampoo, thereby making permanent the
change the formula gave her. She could never marry Mousse, since she was
honor-bound to the ancients.
"What you want, Granma?" Shampoo turned around. "Want Shampoo to
help in fix tables?"
Cologne smiled, "No, you have an even more important duty to do.
Son-in-law will be hungry for lunch." She went closer. "What are you
cooking?"
"Granma, Shampoo cook for Mousse. Shampoo run out of chicken for
Ranma lunch."
It took all of the techniques of 3000 years of Chinese Amazon
history for Cologne not to facefault.
"... your lunch is in the kitchen..." Kasumi called out to her from
the yard.
Nabiki waved her thanks. She added the new variables to the
equation, and its graph reformed, settling down to a higher margin of
profitability. She smiled, "time to make a few calls..."
The yellow pages by the phone felt once again the touch of fingers
tracing its insides, particularly around its 14th chapter. She dialed the
figures listed beside the name, numbers punched with practiced swiftness.
She frowned as the other end kept on ringing and ringing, ending a
rather good mood. "It must still be closed. I guess I'll just pass by
before going to school." A hand wove through her hair. "Maybe it's
time..."
She left in a hurry, not bothering to pass by the kitchen.
Ukyo sighed softly. A gentle breeze wafted through the broken door
resting precariously on its hinges. The wind tousled and tossed a few
curls of her hair into her face and a hand slowly stroked them back into
place.
She had stayed at the same place ever since Ryoga left, not knowing
why. Waitng for the chance, a small chance that perhaps... But no...
Those chances never come.
"I guess it's fate," she spoke softly.
The door fell of its hinges, hitting the floor with a loud crash.
Like ice water poured down one's back, it brought her back to the cold
facts of reality.
"I have to cook Ranma's lunch!" she remembered.
She scanned the remnants of the door and made a short-term repair
to prevent anyone from coming in while she was away (she didn't have a
secret quick-fix technique of her own). Finished, she walked out.
The morning did not seem as nice as it was a while ago.
Genma growled softly by the table. His stomach was in great pain.
He had read somewhere that a great deal of stress could cause a stomach
ulcer. "I guess this must be proof," he growled again.
He had seen the look in Nabiki's eyes: something was amiss. He had
thought that he had won over her, but that battle aura sent his skin (or
fur) crawling. She had taken her loss as an advantage and that smile in
the end seemed to say that she had already won. Now, her vengeance was at
hand. What could she do? His mind screamed at the enormous number of
possibilities:
- She could call up Nodoka and invite her over, initiating a few
days or more of close calls and staring death in the face, since his
wife's presence brought with it prolonged water exposure.
- She could call the vet for another shot for some rare panda
disease, or even a suppository, which was a really horrible thing,
actually. It was unnatural for medicine placed in a large plastic case to
be jammed into your rear opening, if you asked his humble opinion.
The list went on and on...
He couldn't fight her, that was definite - it was a martial
artist's primary duty to protect the frail and the weak. That is, frail
and weak in the physical sense. In monetary matters and other areas that
required diplomacy and manipulation, she was almost a demigod. How could
he fight a battle where he had no skill whatsoever?
He tried to remember the training the master taught him,
eliminating those based on perversion (halving the amount of information
he had to sift through). He sought the ways he could deal with weak
people that would not go against the prime directive. His eyes lit up as
he recalled one of Happosai's great teachings.
"He who fights and runs away will fight again another day," Genma
meditated over these words. Many of the techniques of the Saotome School
of Anything Goes Marital Arts involved strategic withdrawals. They were
based on speed, skill and separation. But how could he run away from
someone he shared a home with?
Kasumi came back with the medicine. "Here you go, Uncle Saotome."
She had a worried look on her face.
Genma took a few pills and drank it down with a large gulp.
"Feeling better now?" she asked, her smile returning as he nodded.
"Good!" she cheeringly added. "Is there anything I could get for you?"
Kasumi asked on her way to the kitchen. Seeing his current mode of
existence, "perhaps some hot water?"
The panda's eyes lit up. "Of course, I'll just stay like this until
the storm has blown over." He chuckled softly. "Now, let's see if there
is anything she can do against me..." He laughed and laughed. He can
still win the battle. <HA-HA-HA-HA>
He did not notice that Kasumi had already poured a kettle's
contents on him.
Tatewaki Kuno emerged from the recesses of his mansion to the
bright sunshine of day. He had removed his gay blue kimono and replaced
it with the monotonous Furinkan school uniform. However, his spirits
remained as colorful as they were before.
"Is it not so fine, so noble a sun to shine on the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan High." He inhaled, filling his lungs with fresh air. It seemed
that such good air went to waste as it was expelled in drafts of bad
poetry.
The blue sky filled his vision, "My, it seems that a fine day shall
this be. It has been said that the purity of the blue firmament purifies
one's essence and strengthens its vessel." He paused, gathering up the
energy for another great declaration of love.
"Oh, blessed blue sky! Thy purity reflects the purity of my love to
the two people in my heart. Oh, Akane! Oh, pig-tailed girl! With heaven
as my witness, today shall be the day that the infidel Ranma shall be
crushed! Your love for me will be free to shine once more!"
If he only knew what the sky contained right now, he would not have
been so uplifted.
The cockpit of the F-18 Hornet was a wonder to behold. A symbiosis
of man and machine, its levers and gadgets amplified the puny movements
of the small human inside, making it one of the most formidable war
machines in the history of armed conflict.
Yet, even in this great weapon of war, one can still go back to the
main reason why this machine and its ancestors were created. To strip
back the implements of war, the computers and all the electronic gadgets
will reveal the very soul of the F-18: a man.
The aircraft is not made to fly in the air by the structure of its
wings, Bernoulli's principle, or by any other scientific means or
explanations. It is made to fly by the will of humanity to see its dream,
a dream that has captured every single person that ever existed and ever
will: to leave the embrace of the earth and become creatures of the sky.
The pilot of the fighter jet sighed. The skyscrapers of Tokyo slid
by far below him, and the plane was now headed to places where the
heavens were not so crowded.
"No matter how many times I have flied, the view still inspires
me..." It was always a pure joy to fly, even to hardened souls. Another
jet turned as well, following the leader.
"Echo-1 to Mother Goose, finishing the sightseeing tour and heading
back home," the pilot said. The message flew over the airwaves to its
eventual destination.
"Roger that, Echo-1," home base radioed back. The operator
continued, "don't forget to bring back souvenirs."
"Sure! I'll pass by a restaurant and order take-out. Do you want
Chinese or sushi?"
A chime sounded as another channel tried to interrupt. "Echo-1,
this is Echo-2." The aviator of the plane flying alongside called.
"Something seems wrong with my 'scope. Are you detecting a radar blip at
around 25,000?"
"Huh?" the pilot checked the instruments. Sure enough, a green dot
appeared on the screen. "Mother Goose, are you detecting a flying object
at altitude 25,000, bearing 305 degrees from our position?"
There was a pause at the other end. After a while, "No... Whatever
it is, it's too small and too far away to register here. You guys want to
take a look?"
"Sure! I haven't got enough of the view yet," Echo-2's voice was
carried over the pilot's speakers.
Echo-1 radioed back to base, "We're going to check that out. Guess
we won't have time to get any fancy lunch."
The two planes circled the Tokyo Tower once and went on to
investigate the UFO.
Ranma and Akane were on their way to school, bringing with them
some excess baggage to a stopover.
Ranma was walking on the fence, minding his own business. His
stubborn fianc�e was on the ground, trying to guide her slightly dizzy
father. "I asked if I could help, but, no!" Ranma had volunteered to
carry the twice-fallen martial artist, but Akane had even punched him,
saying that it was all *his* fault that her father was like this.
Some thank you. He rubbed the sore patch on his face. "What a
idiot. Here I was, all ready to help and all she does is to hit me." He
wondered how could he have even thought nice thoughts about her a while
ago.
"What did you say, Ranma!" the obviously still angry Akane said.
Her wrath jostled Soun awake and he moaned. "Oh, my head..."
Akane's rage disappeared, replaced with a concerned air. "Father,
don't worry. We will be there soon..."
Ranma saw that look on her face. "Akane, I wish that you could be
that way more often..." he whispered silently. Then, she turned and gave
him a killing stare. "Uhh, I take it back."
High above, two planes, too fast to be any ordinary ones,
gracefully turned, maintaining their formation. The two martial artists
(Soun would have looked, if he were conscious) spared a moment of their
time to look upwards. "Such a beautiful day..."
The great master of perversion streaked through the early morning
skies of Nerima. Up there, it was quiet, as the sounds that humanity
produced were reduced over height.
He spared a few moments of thought in the upper stratosphere. "My,
my. I wonder who kicked me so hard?" he asked, rubbing his bottom. It was
a good thing that he had deposited his first load in a secluded place or
it would have been raining panties again.
He took out his pipe and began to smoke, knowing it could be a
while before he went down again. Below, a cloud of dust followed him, and
a mob wished that they could move in three dimensions.
"Ah, all those pretty girls are still following me," he exclaimed,
laughing a bit. "So many women, so little time..."
Far in the distance, two dark spots began to appear, increasing in
size very rapidly. "Perhaps I could do something else here in my spare
time," he mused as the roar of jets approached him.
"Mother Goose, this is Echo-1, approaching target zone," the pilot
called back. The target was displayed on the computer screen, with a few
green figures beside it, indicating range. "Only a few more seconds for
first visual identification..."
The screen changed as the cameras locked on. What followed could
only be defined only as shock.
"What the heck?!?" An old man with beady eyes appeared.
Now that was something you didn't see everyday...
Nabiki walked slowly. There was enough time, enough time.
She was unmindful of anything that happened around her, save for
the bare level necessary to avoid any accident. For that reason, she did
take note of the events building up to an action-packed climax in the
skies over Nerima, as unfazed as by the angry mob at her feet a while ago
back at the dojo. A small glance at the crowd would have sent them
scampering away, as was her talent.
No one could withstand the powerful controlling gaze of the middle
sister of the Tendo family... No one...
Except for the owner of the slightly beaten up store that stood
before her.
Nabiki hesitated in front of the Cat Cafe, not knowing why. There
was something in Cologne's beady eyes that seemed capable of manipulating
anyone. It was rather difficult to breathe when stared at by the old
woman. Nabiki needed to be always in control - things were easier that
way. But the Chinese Amazon inside grabbed that away from her.
Taking a deep breath, she dared enter, only to step backwards as
Shampoo skipped out of the shop.
"Bai-Bai, Granma! Shampoo off to buy chicken for Ranma!" she
happily waved good-bye, singing a merry tune. She grabbed her bike and
began pedaling away.
"At least we would be left alone," Nabiki thought. Taking a
confident step forward (the slightest sign of hesitation would be to her
disadvantage), she entered the dark interior.
"Echo-2, are you getting this?" the severely flabbergasted pilot
stammered out. A chime sounded as the computers recognized Happosai as a
threat. A white square appeared on the heads-up display on the cockpit,
indicating where the enemy was in the sky.
"It's an oompah-loopa!" Echo-2 managed to stammer out through
dropped jaws.
"Huh?"
"Uh... either that is an old man, or it's the dumbest looking UFO I
have ever seen..." Echo-2 responded.
The computer twittered as the Sidewinder missiles the aircraft had
as mission ordinances locked on, flaring open a few red lights. The
computer screen added a few red circles around the old man's face. A
small message was displayed beneath him.
"Fire on opponent?" the computer asked.
The pilot did as the flier's manual stated: when in doubt, ask.
"Mother Goose, request advice on current situation..."
Before Mother Goose could respond, the figures on the screen
changed very rapidly.
"Echo-1! The old man is advancing!"
"WHAT?!?"
Kodachi sighed. She was in the middle of what could be described
only as a maelstrom.
The mob she had a part in creating (she added the cats to the
equation) turned back on her. Now, she was covered in a thin layer of
dust as the mixed group of mice and men (or in this case, cats and women)
crashed through Neriman landmarks, leaving a few new streets behind them.
She was so near her darling Ranma a while ago. She had with her the
forces spawned by pure hatred, enough to wipe the evil pervert and the
pig-tailed girl off the face of the earth, the only hindrances of her
love to her only love. But now she was heading off in a tangent, on a
wild goose chase. The old man could never be captured, he was too skilled
for that. But that didn't stop them from trying.
She couldn't go forward - the mass in front of her prevented that.
She couldn't even afford to slow down - she would get trampled. There was
little space to execute a proper jump, although that was the only way she
could escape. A passing lamppost started trains going through her
otherwise twisted mind. She could use her gymnastics ribbon as a possible
grappling hook. If she could only get it untangled...
The mob suddenly shifted in its direction as its prey changed its
trajectory. Kodachi, being in the middle of it, had to follow. Now, she
had to redo the steps she had made before. Giving up, she pulled on the
ribbon.
To her surprise, it finally unsnarled itself. "Ha-ha-ha-ha," she
laughed, returning once more to her more normal state of mind. It won't
be long now and Ranma darling would be hers again!
"HO-HO-HO-HO!" her lungs reverberated with pure joy, causing a few
of her neighbors to bigsweat.
Ryoga was at the other end of the many-headed organism making its
way through the sunny town. He had been transformed by the hot water
Kasumi had, in her surprise, launched into the air. Unlike the other
martial arts member of the crowd, the events were more to his advantage.
He had found himself in other situations like this. Twice on his
trip from Jusenkyo to Japan in search of Ranma, he fell unto a raging
horde of other pigs. The smallness of his state at that time and the
horror of those events steeled his soul for this moment. He was more than
prepared to escape. Anytime now, he would jump to safety.
If only this stupid ribbon were not tied to his feet.
He was already halfway in executing a jump when the strip of cloth
caught him. Tripping, he tried to make a proper fall to minimize any
damage to him, which only worked in open spaces.
The rest of the crowd continued on, unmindful of those falling
within. The footprints of 50 women (and cats) all fitted on Ryoga's face.
The thundering roar of footsteps disappeared in the distance. Once again,
silence.
"I-I made it!" Ryoga managed to stammer out. He tried to stand up,
groaning with the effort. "Must--get--medical--help." He struggled to
walk, trying to pay no heed to the pain his body felt. "Got--to--go--to--
Tendo Dojo..." He used his umbrella as a cane and hobbled away to
Zimbabwe.
Happosai streaked through the morning air, using the techniques of
the Founding School of Anything Goes Martial Arts enhanced mid-air
grappling. The two pilots gawked as the master of perversion passed
between them and disappeared.
The first pilot checked the screens, but the radar showed no trace
of the flying pervert. "Echo-2, do you know where the old man went?"
There was a pause. "Echo-2, are you getting me?"
Not getting a response, the aviator looked outside to see what the
trouble was.
Echo-2 stared back, his face filled with pure terror.
Cologne took over Shampoo's place at the stove when a customer came
in. "We're still closed. Come back later -" she glanced backwards. "Oh,
it's you, Nabiki. What a pleasant surprise!" She indicated with her
staff, "Please, have a seat."
Nabiki was a bit taken aback by the cheerful face Cologne put
forth. No matter, she stalked towards a nearby table. "Cologne, I need a
favor to ask of you..."
Now it was Cologne's turn to be surprised. "The self-made Nabiki
Tendo, asking favors of other people?" she asked, settling down into the
seat across the said self-made woman. "Hmm, it seems that you have
something interesting up your sleeve, too large to be handled entirely by
you. Could you spare a few moments to tell me your plans?"
"I'm just gathering up a few resources, that's all." She paused, a
typical initiation to the conversation of the reason for her presence.
She leaned closer, "I need something to defeat Happosai." Pausing again,
she added cryptically, "something that uses perfumes."
"So that's it. You're getting brave enough to take on the founder
of the Anything Goes School. No wonder you need my help." She reached
inside her cloak and took out a small packet. "The instructions are
written at the back in Chinese. I trust that you can translate this on
your own." As she expected, Nabiki nodded. "Good..."
Nabiki stood up. "Now should be the time for her to name her price.
Might as well..." she thought. "You're giving this all for free. Isn't
there anything I could do for you?" she tried to lead on the topic,
knowing that any hidden agenda would appear - it appearing as early as
now could make things easier for her.
"No... I just want to see the old pervert getting what he deserves.
However," Cologne paused, "there is something you could do. Keep an eye
out for Mousse when he and Shampoo come to school later to deliver
Ranma's lunch. Make sure that nothing bad happens."
Cologne grinned. She didn't have to worry about anything happening
in the capable hands of Nabiki.
"Is that all?" Nabiki asked. It seemed all too easy. "That part has
already been taken care of."
The standard issue helmet of a fighter pilot had a built-in radio,
thus eliminating the need of the user to monitor the airwaves with his
hands, freeing their use for other, more important things, such as flying
the plane.
However, these aviators complained about damage to the transmitter
every time they came back from aerial battles. It seemed that screaming
in mid-air was a very popular pastime, and such a high volume of sound
could severely damage the delicate electronic sensors. The fact that the
microphones were placed in the gas mask the pilots used for breathing,
which was very near the mouth, did not help.
So the Corps of Engineers came up with the answer: a microphone
that had a built-in switch which would shut down any out-going messages
as long as it went beyond a certain loudness. Complaints erupted just as
soon as this system was implemented. It seemed that, in combat
situations, loud voices were considered to be needed, if not mandatory.
So, the brilliant designers came up with an optional switch that
could turn off the system when desired, thus getting the pilots (who were
after louder battle cries) and the high brass (who were after less costs)
off their backs. The blame was passed on to the pilots themselves and the
designers could rest easy.
Right now, Echo-2 exceeded the tested limits of the system and
could have permanently dealt damage to any ears that would have been
listening, had this device not been invented.
"ECHO-1! ECHO-1!" The pilot screamed as he saw the old man grab
hold onto the right wingtip of his flying companion.
Seeing that the system could not take it anymore, he tried
signaling as the other pilot looked outside. "The old man!" Unable to do
anything, he watched in horror as the monster (it had to be one - what
else can grab hold of a plane traveling at near sonic speeds?) crept up
to the windshield.
Echo-1 wondered what the other guy was gesturing so wildly about.
"Echo-2... Rick (to hell with callsigns)... Calm down. What are you
saying?" Rick's signals became even more violent. "The fool must be
shouting his head off by now."
It was then that the pilot noticed a small hand at the side of the
windshield.
Once again, another helmet radio system was saved by the profound
improvisation of the Corps of Engineers.
"MAYDAY! MAYDAY! Mother duck, I mean goose, I mean flying fowl,
HEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!"
Mousse sneezed, and then groaned when his body moved in response to
the nasal stimuli. Every movement seemed to hurt.
He tried to open his eyes. The morning light forced them to close
again. He groaned again and tried to turn to a more comfortable position
and promptly fell asleep.
His dreams were troubling.
For Rick, the pilot of the other plane, everything seemed to happen
in slow motion.
Happosai slowly crept up to the windshield of Echo-1 and kept on
moving, unmindful that they were travelling close to the speed of sound.
Echo-1 sat frozen at the controls. It was a good thing that the
autopilot took effect, just as all flying skills went out the window, or
the plane would have crashed.
Not moving a muscle, hoping in the small chance that the monster
outside the window would pay no heed to the lone occupant inside,
remembering the lesson taught by Jurassic Park, eyeballs followed the old
man as he slowly crept up to the front of the plane.
The on-board computer continued on with its work, being impervious
to fear, calculating the enemy's movements.
The master of perversion peered inside and immediately punched the
windshield. The glass disintegrated and the pilot inside felt the outside
world for the first time, moving at that speed.
Rick saw the old man enter the cockpit of the other. "Will he eat
me as well?" he asked. There seemed nothing that the old man could do. He
could see the struggle inside, a small figure darting around the pilot
strapped in the seat.
Two missiles were fired, perhaps in fright. Without a target to
lock on (the designers of the F-18 did not foresee the enemy *actually*
entering the plane) the missiles went haywire, one streaking up higher
into the morning sky, the other accelerated to the ground, certain doom
to someone far below.
At the moment when he considered shooting down his companion to
kill the monster within and to put a stop to the infamy, even at the cost
of his friend's life and his own conscience, the old man jumped out.
Echo-1 instantly slowed down, to prevent wind shear (and also to
avoid the bugs splattering in one's face at speeds in excess of 800
kilometers per hour). Rick looked outside and saw the old man float
downward, using what seemed like a parachute.
His fears eased as the comm lines opened. "Mother Goose, this is
Echo-1," the harried voice of the other pilot seemed like music to Rick's
ears. "Sustained minimal damage from the encounter, returning home." The
other plane turned, a bird injured in flight but continuing to spread its
wings.
"What happened?" he asked, a question on many minds.
Long blond hair streaked backwards in the wind when the pilot
removed her helmet. "The old pervert stole my bra," she said, trying to
cover up the ripped flying jacket.
Tatewaki Kuno flexed his limbs. "Come, Sasuke!" he called out to
the manservant somewhere inside the mansion. "You shall accompany me to
the hollowed ground of Furinkan High and bring the gift so requested by
the fair sister of Akane Tendo." He breathed in again. "What a good day
this is."
A star in the sky caught his eye. "Ah! It is the morning star! A
great symbol for the rising star of the Kendo world. The one, the only,
Tatewaki Kuno." The star twinkled in reverence, then Kuno realized that
the symbol he had chosen was a very bad one.
The star became brighter and larger. It approached him at a very
high speed.
"What in the manner of men is this?!?"
*KABOOM*
The wayward missile impacted with the wayward prose of the Blue
Thunder, sending clouds of dust into the morning air. When the smoke
cleared, the Kuno lawn had a place for a new koi pond.
Kuno crawled out of the crater, his uniform ripped to shreds. "Why
does everyone have to be a critic?" he complained, finally collapsing to
the ground.
Shampoo rode her bike happily to the market, taking alternate
routes. The vehicle, although simply made, had witnessed terrain that
would make an expert mountain-climber-on-two-wheels faint in terror. It
rode over rooftops, scaled almost vertical walls, and delivered the ramen
on time.
Now, it served as a quick mode of transportation with which to buy
her future husband his lunch. She sighed, "Ranma, I fix you lunch soon.
Shampoo no let stupid duck brain take -"
<*WHAMMM*> the bike said as it impacted something soft.
It was a known fact that all vehicles in Nerima, whether two-
wheeled or four-, with wheels or wings, served to bump martial artists.
*WHAMMM*
Ranma was walking on the fence a while ago and now found himself
under a bike.
"Nihao, Ranma!" Shampoo's cheerful voice from somewhere above him
seemed to increase the pain. She continued to pedal, making groove marks
on Ranma's back and metal tube marks on his chest.
"Shampoo make lunch later. Please say you eat it, yes?"
"Shampoo! Get off me!" he exclaimed. He could feel every tread of
the wheels digging its way into his spine.
"Shampoo! Will you get off him now!" Akane hoped that the noise
would not awaken her father anymore, until they had gone to the doctor.
"He already got what he deserved..."
"Akane! What do you mean by - OW!"
"Shampoo get off only if Ranma promise to eat later," Shampoo
declared. A tongue darted out at Akane. "Shampoo no get off until
then..."
Ranma thought hard. He was caught between a stone and a hard place.
Saying yes to Shampoo would provoke Akane even further - on the other
hand, it would stop the pain. He chose the short-term benefit package.
"Okay! Just get off me."
"Ranma say he promise?" Shampoo continued, enjoying the way Akane
fumed.
"I promise that I will eat Shampoo's cooking..." He noticed the way
Akane looked at him. "I have no choice," he thought silently, hoping that
his face would speak volumes.
"What is he trying to say?" Akane mind tried to figure Ranma out as
his face twisted unnaturally. "Is he making faces at me? You jerk!"
"Ai-yah! Ranma eat Shampoo's cooking!" she shouted for all the
world to hear. In the cook's joy, she rocked back and forth, sending
waves of pain through the customer's person. "ARRGGHHH!!!"
Akane punched Shampoo. "Get off him, NOW!"
Shampoo easily avoided her clumsy blow. She and the bike sailed
through the air and touched the ground. "Akane stupid girl. No care about
elders."
"Huh? Elders?" Akane almost forgot Soun until he had groaned softly
on the ground. "Oh, dad! I'm so sorry..."
Ranma peeled himself off the metal pipe at the top of the fence. He
landed between the two female rivals, facing the Chinese one. "Oww, that
hurt."
Shampoo glomped him, her groping hands unknowingly brushing the
tender areas of his body (The wounds! The wounds!). "Oh, Ranma! Shampoo
sorry she have to do that."
Akane mistook the look of agony on his face as pleasure, getting
really mad. "RANMA! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"
"Shampoo, I-I think you should stop now..." Ranma became aware of a
blue battle aura filling the air.
"Shampoo make it all better!"
Before Ranma could act, she had already opened part of the front of
his shirt and buried her head on his chest. "Shampoo no leave Ranma until
he okay, not like stubborn girl Aka-"
Akane looked for something to smash Ranma with. Finding the nearest
object, she hurled it at the enemy (Ranma). The projectile was already in
the air before she knew its (or his) characteristics.
*SLAM*
Ranma was slammed to the interconnected metal wires of the fence,
making nice marks on his face. Soun slammed behind him. Four sets of
middle and ring fingers bent at the joint. The impact caused the frame to
bend, taking a distinctly human face. It also disturbed a few dust
particles in the air, making the fianc�es sneeze.
"What have I done?" Akane was shocked. How could she have used her
own father as a weapon?
Soun fell in a heap on the ground, groaning. "Ow, my head."
Ranma peeled himself off again. The world seemed to twirl. "Di-did
you geet the lic-sence number of tha thruck?" Losing consciousness, he
fell on Shampoo.
"RANMA, YOU GET OFF SHAMPOO, NOW!" Akane screamed, trying to pry
him away.
"RANMA, YOU GET OFF SHAMPOO, NOW!" a voice with a distinct Chinese
accent screamed. Ranma woke up to see a fist rocketing at him.
"ARRGGGHHHH!" Ranma sailed through the morning sky.
"Shampoo no get touched by pervert Ranma! Shampoo only for Mousse!"
She turned, pedaling furiously away. A few pearl-like tears flew,
reflecting the sunlight. "Mousse! Wait for Shampoo!"
Akane bigsweated at the preceding events. "What's wrong with her?"
With the battle over, she checked for injuries on Soun, regretting what
she had done. "Am I really *that* mad when I am angry?" she asked - the
question echoed in her mind and made waves of thought.
She lifted her father and moved on forward. Akane looked up at the
bright spot in the sky that was her fianc�. "He didn't deserve this
much," she mused. She wanted to say sorry, but he would not hear it - and
it would spark new waves of insults on her.
She spared a second look to the bright star in the sky and went on
to more earthbound events. It would be a while before he went down again.
She did not realize that she held Ranma's shirt in her free hand.
Ukyo looked downwards on her way to market, deep in thought. Unlike
Nabiki, she had put all of her concentration inwards, making her more
prone to disaster.
"Why am I the one that has to be left out in the cold?"
She had seen Ranma walk with Akane a while ago, bringing with them
Soun. She had witnessed their shared moment looking into the sky, a short
but quiet moment when they weren't after each other's necks. The two
seemed to radiate an aura, an aura Ukyo knew she would never share with
him.
She had been trying so long, too long in fact. She knew where she
was not wanted. "That's why I'm going, too..."
She paused - the idea seemed too hard to even think about, but
preparations had already been made. This last-ditch effort might not give
any results, but at least she tried to the utmost of her ability.
So much love to give, no one to give it to.
A passing thought colored her otherwise dark world.
"Ryoga?" she asked. He was a person she considered as a friend, the
same way that Ranchan felt about her. Whenever Ukyo was down, he would
invariantly appear out of nowhere, asking for directions to the dojo.
Ukyo would most certainly be a shoulder to cry, a concerned friend, and
an information booth on the whereabouts of Akane. The way he mourned out
his problems, how he made mountains out of molehills, always made a smile
appear out of Ukyo's sad face. Ryoga always unknowingly cheered her up as
well. He was there for her as she was for him.
But that's all he'll ever be, just a friend. She will always love
Ranma, no matter what and she knew Ryoga would always love Akane.
She sighed. If they were in another place, at another time, perhaps
there could be a chance that... If only they had met sooner, before she
promised herself to Ranma, and he to Akane...
"What happened earlier would never happen again. We were just both
down at the time. I wanted someone to share my love with before I... How
could I be so rude, to use someone innocent, like Ryoga, to satisfy my
loneliness..." She arrived at the street corner near the park and turned
left. "I guess I do deserve this..."
If she had only paused for a few more moments, she would have seen
a familiar yellow-clad martial artist pass bewilderingly by.
"An air force bra! Manna from heaven!"
Happosai drifted slowly downwards, seeking once more the tender
embrace of mother earth (not in that way). "Ah! What a nice day it is,"
he said. "Everywhere I go, women seem to follow me. I guess that they
finally saw through my rough exterior to the loving heart within." That
is, a loving heart for the clothes within (and, of course, the assorted
body parts).
The brassiere billowed out, and the old pervert dreamed of the body
parts that used to fill it. His eyes became filled with joy. "When shall
you, my dear one, find something to make you whole again? Ranma might
agree to wear this, if I can catch him off-guard..."
Somewhere down below, a body approached him. It passed through the
cloudline, giving a distinctly female scream. "Must be my lucky day!" he
thought, preparing his attack.
Ranma streaked heavenward, passing through a small cloud. The
floating water vapor spit out a half-nude female.
"Arrgghh!!!" she screamed. She didn't care about nudity, having a
very low quotient for female decorum. Actually, she was weak to all kinds
of decorum, period. The scream was for any fianc�e who would hear,
Chinese or otherwise.
"Now, what the heck did I do to Shampoo to deserve this!" she
shrieked. For that matter, for everyone else as well. Will luck for her
change soon? It better...
Her eyes saw a dark figure floating above her nubile (only to
females, too) body. With lightning speed, the cretin blasted towards her
with inhuman speed.
"Guess my luck won't change, after all..." she managed to say,
before a more bloodcurdling scream managed to work its way to her mouth.
"Echo-1," Rick continued to monitor the enemy as the planes
limbered their way home, "There seems to be another unidentified flying
object rapidly approaching the old man." The two dots collided in the
radar screen, creating a very crazy blip.
"Switching to aft camera," he said, flicking a switch. The plane
shook in mid-air as a jaw dropped all the way to the ground. "Uhh...
Echo-1. You won't believe this." He wiped a few beads of perspiration off
his forehead. "There is...uh... a half-nude woman being attacked by the
old man."
Squinting as the rapid movements were captured on video, "He seems
to be trying to strap the bra on her. Should we go back and help her,
Echo-1? Echo-1..." he repeated, noticing that his companion was not
responding. "Lisa, are you okay?"
Echo-1 sat quietly in her chair, letting the computer fly her home.
"Let's not, please." The wind whizzed through the open cockpit, somehow a
lot colder than normal. Her mind reeled back at the horror of the events.
"I don't want to push my luck any further." She closed her eyes.
"Please..."
A switch was turned and a screen went blank. Echo-2 turned a deaf
ear (or a blind eye) to the obvious plea for help of the redhead.
"She did seem cute," he spared a thought.
The two planes streaked away towards the ocean.
The earth beckoned to Ryoga. "Come to me and I will give you rest."
Its siren call possessed all of Ryoga's spirit, almost making him
fall to the ground.
"NO! I WON'T LET YOU TAKE ME!"
Willpower burst forth from his soul, pushing his body once more to
move. His body seemed so far away, radiating pain at every movement. To
give up would mean to give up on his hope to see Akane once more before
he passed out. To fall before reaching the Dojo would mean certain death
in this deep jungle that he had found himself in. To die now would remove
Ranma's only obstacle to obtaining Akane's heart.
"No, I can't let a jerk like him..." His thoughts wandered of
again. "Akane..." He began to see her everywhere, in the sky, in the
trees, across the street (?), in the flowers, and on the ground.
"Ryoga," she called out in the sweetest of voices, "come and stay
with me." All of his strength seemed to vanish. His knees buckled. He
fell, like a rock.
"Akane... I'm sorry," he whispered softly.
The ground had a cold embrace. His dreams were strange.
Soun had managed to recover some form of consciousness. He walked
with his own will, but his navigation system was still out of whack. His
daughter held his hand lightly, leading the way. "Akane," he spoke
softly, still in a daze, "how far is it to Dr. Tofu?"
She snapped out of reverie. "Uhh... Just a few more blocks." Akane
took note of her surroundings. "Let's take a shortcut through the park -"
A soft wind blew and she heard someone call her name. She looked
around but the park was vacant. "Did you hear that, dad?" Her father was
too busy trying to live. "Must have been my imagination."
She began to walk on, but her enhanced martial arts senses began to
detect movement somewhere to her right, in the trees. Her figure snapped
into attention, expecting an attack, but the rustling was not repeated.
However, there was a muffled thump.
"Maybe someone was attacked!" She rushed to the unknown person's
aid, first making sure that the known injured person was out of harm's
way.
Akane ran past the bushes and found a body on the ground. "Oh my...
Ryoga!!!" She turned him around and was shocked by the number of blows to
his face.
"Ryoga, what happened to you?" Normal breathing and pulse calmed
her fears. "Come on, Ryoga, I'm going to take you to Dr. Tofu -"
She noticed his lips moving. "Akane, I'm sorry..." he whispered
over and over again.
"He's in delirium," she thought. "Hang in there..."
"HANG IN THERE, RANMA!!!" Happosai screamed as he straddled Ranma-
chan's back. It wouldn't be long before the bra would be put to its
rightful place. The ground was still far below, but it was coming at them
at high speed.
It was just now that Ranma-chan realized that she was female and
that she was naked. There was really no difference, especially in fights.
It was just the different weak spots.
Taking stock of the current combat variables, "There ain't no
chance that I attack him from the front, that would expose my weak side."
She thought carefully, "there must be some other way to take him off my
back..." Fingers snapped. "That's it!"
"Yu-hoo!" She seductively glanced at Happosai. "Want me to take off
my pants?" She winked for effect.
"What? You're going to do that for me?" He raised his hands in pure
joy. The bra he held billowed out, increasing his wind drag, thus slowing
down.
The sudden difference in relative velocity took the old man off-
guard. He rose above Ranma's form. "TAKE THIS OFF!"
Ranma-chan took advantage of the opening. Turning in mid-air, her
fist reached for him, catching him in the stomach. She continued the
maneuver, using the angular momentum to exponentially increase Happosai's
velocity, propelling him to the earth's surface.
"Serves you right, old man!" she screamed downwards. It was already
too late when she perceived that the technique had *also* raised her
speed relative to the ground.
"ARRRGGGHHH!" Ranma-chan yelled as she braced for a harder than
normal impact.
*KABOOM*
Sasuke rushed out of the mansion when he heard the loud explosion.
The cargo he was carrying from the hydroponics lab was forgotten.
Running outside, the manservant was shocked at what he saw: debris
littered the manicured lawn of the Kuno palace and the master of the
house was in the middle of a large hole.
"MASTER KUNO!" Sasuke scurried to his master's side, fearing the
worst. His uniform lay in tatters, save for his pants (lower garments
have this ability to remain intact: one example is of another martial
artist whose upper gi gets ripped apart early in battle, but his pants
are miraculously preserved, even though chi attacks capable of destroying
planets were blasted at him).
Sasuke shook him awake. "Master Kuno! Please wake up!" He scanned
the wounded man, thanking the gods that there was no blood nor critical
injuries. "He must have just fainted."
Due to the lack of smelling salts, he took out a week-old fish
sausage out of his suit ("I should have this washed soon, it has been
four months.") and passed it near Kuno's nose.
He gave a grunt and sat up, rather dazed. "Fool! How dare you put
such impure food near the honored mouth of thy master!" He swung the
remnants of his bokken on the ninja's head. "Hurry inside and get my
clothes!" The diminutive figure scurried away. "The imbecile! How dare he
try to feed me rotten food. Why, such insolence -"
There was a distinctly female scream. "Pig-tailed girl?!?" Blood
suddenly rushed to his face. "Oh no! How can I let her pure eyes set over
my naked chest. I cannot bear to see her innocence be tarnished by such a
vision. Blah. Blah." One can notice that he had not made a move to cover
exposed skin.
"Whither art thou, Pig-tailed girl?" He looked left, he looked
right. There was no one there. He looked up and implored. "PIG-TAILED
GIR- MMPPHH!"
A large burlap bag hit him on the face. "Yuph armp'th th piph-taiph
girph!" he shouted through cloth. Kuno was about to throw it away in
disgust when it spoke.
"That's no way to treat your elders!" it exclaimed. A pipe attached
itself to his hand and he found himself on the ground once more. The bag
jumped around and placed itself near his face. Kuno froze as he found out
that it had beady eyes.
"Children these days! Hmph!" Happosai promptly sat down on Kuno's
face. "First, I get kicked out of the house and into the sky. Now what
happens when I land - I get man-handled by this foul-mouth."
He looked into the sky and sighed. "Although, if it wasn't for that
person, I wouldn't have found this bra." The pervert jumped up and down
on Kuno's face. "What an original item for my collection!"
A wooden sword bashed Happosai. "Fiend! You risk standing on the
honored face of the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" He aimed the broken
sword at the master. "Then, you are no other than the old deviant who
goes around, caressing the tender bosom of the womankind!" Kuno eclipsed
the sun, its rays surrounding him with a glorious halo. "I, Tatewaki
Kuno, shall smite thee into the ground! PREPARE TO DIE!"
*SMASH* *CRASH* *OWW!* *SQUIRT* *KAPOW*
The Blue Thunder lost his roar as he lay on the ground. "Had
enough...?" he groaned.
Before Happosai could do any further damage to him, the very earth
began to shake.
*KABOOM*
The western wall of the Kuno Mansion crumbled to dust as the many-
headed creature made its way into the grounds. The mob screamed as it saw
its prey ahead of it, enraging it even further.
The terrible maelstrom gorged a path through the lawn, unmindful of
the assorted traps that the manservant had laid for any intruder. Steel
teeth lunged at the creature, but the teeth were chewed and spit out.
Trip wires snapped, sending arrows and large mallets at the crowd, but
they were obliterated. Land mines blew, sending some of its elements into
the sky, but it continued on.
"Gotta go!" Happosai skipped away. The rope of inhibition snapped
and Kuno ran away, rather unpoetically. "HEEELLLPPPP!"
In the spur of the moment, he followed the old man as he made his
way out of the grounds and into the outside world. Surprise makes poor
judgements.
"Surprise does make poor judgements," Ukyo continued to think of
Ryoga as she went on her way to market. She noticed that her hand still
felt warm, where he had held it earlier.
Had he buried his feelings for her, like she had buried her
feelings for him, for the sake of their one and only loves? Was it
surprise that prompted her to stare in his face that way?
She knew that she projected her sad face - the sad face full of
want. Ryoga wanted so much to love Akane as she, Ranma. They must have
both imagined that the person in front of them was someone else. But
still, why did her hand feel so warm? Why did she want more in the world
to see Ryoga now even more than Ranchan?
A shiny object at her feet interrupted the train of thought.
"What's this?" She looked down and found a shiny five yen coin at her
feet. "Maybe my luck is going to change after all," she managed a smile.
"Things like this always come out of the blue."
If she had not bent down to pick it up then, an earthbound
projectile would have hit her squarely in the back.
Akane finally knocked at Dr. Tofu's clinic.
It was hard, leading two incapacitated men, although her father was
a bit of a help. He managed to walk on his own with a little prodding in
the right direction.
Bringing along Ryoga was a problem. He was heavy enough without his
backpack *and* his umbrella. "Four people would have difficulty bringing
him here," she thought. "They would have left his bag behind, and it
might get lost."
Deep in the recesses of her mind, she wished that Ranma was there,
at least to help her with the load. But, right now, he was somewhere in
space.
"The punch Shampoo gave him was really strong. I hope he's okay...
Huh?"
She was already in her sixth knock. "Dr. Tofu..." she called.
Knocking louder, "Dr. Tofu!"
No answer. "What's wrong with him?"
"Try the doorknob, Akane," her father suggested, finally able to
push a coherent thought through his clogged brain. She tried the knob and
was surprised to find it open. "Dr. Tofu? Are you here?"
She entered the room a bit hesitantly. It was dark inside. She laid
down Ryoga on the waiting couch and guided Soun to a more secured
position.
Entering the doctor's office, she screamed. "AAARRRRGGGHHHH!"
A bony hand gripped her leg. "A MONSTER." She bodily lifted the
desk and almost crushed the creature of the night at her feet when her
eyes adjusted to the darkness.
"DR. TOFU!" The prone figure at her feet stirred, but remained on
the ground.
"Dr. Tofu, what happened?" She lifted him and placed him on the
chair. "Wha???" The doctor woke up as if from a deep sleep. "Oh, Akane.
It's you." He stretched his hands and yawned. "I must have fallen
asleep."
Akane pulled back the curtains, flooding the room with light. "Dr.
Tofu, I -" She saw the black circles around his eyes. "Dr. Tofu, wake
up!"
"Oh!" The doctor reawakened from slumber and made his way to the
kitchen, placing Betty's hand on the desk. "I'll just go and get some
coffee..."
Akane looked down. "I almost maimed him with the table," she mused.
"Is there something wrong with me?" She sighed. "Maybe Ranma's right..."
*SPLATOOM*
Ranma-chan's impact took out the sidewalk, the facade of a few
houses, and some vehicles in front of Ukyo. When the dust cleared, Ukyo
ran to her aid. The only part of Ranma-chan visible was her feet, as they
protruded grotesquely from the hole in the asphalt road. The force of the
impact buried her face a few feet underground.
"RANMA!" Ukyo tried desperately dug her out. "What happened to
you?" she asked, beads of perspiration wetting her face.
A few people scampered out of their homes. Wails of agony filled
the air. "My car! I just parked it here!"
"What the heck happened?!?"
"Looks like a tornado hit the place..."
"Anyone seen my flowerpot?"
"My speen! My spleen is missing!"
"Hey! That girl needs help! I know VCR!"
"It's CPR, idiot!"
"I don't want to go to school... It's raining girls!"
All eyes turned to the source. A mother dragged the child away.
At last, Ranma-chan finally saw the light of day again. "Ukyo...
thank you..." she managed to gasp out before collapsing.
<Blink. Blink.> Ukyo saw something else in her mind's eye - she
shook it off.
Removing her bandoleer, she strapped it around Ranma-chan's chest
as she noticed that the other victims, all male, were staring at them
(good thing the kid was not there). Happosai was prowling about, and
these would-probably-be other perverts that might delay the medical
attention Ranma desperately needed.
"I"M SORRY FOR ALL THE TROUBLE!" she yelled back as she blasted
away.
"This is all Akane's fault," she angrily thought as she burnt
rubber to the nearest medical center.
"Dr. Tofu's Clinic. The nearest medical center in your
neighborhood." The colorful letters decorated the treatment room where
Akane watched over the two martial artists as they lay sleeping.
She gazed at Ryoga's peaceful face. "The last time I saw him was a
few weeks ago," Akane thought. "No!" she realized. "He was back there at
the dojo!"
A brief flashback showed P-chan inside the convulsing thing that
was the mob. The next frame featured the flying hot water kettle.
Finally, a close-up revealed a martial artist with a bandana. "That
means..." A startling thought came to her. "That means Ryoga -"
The good doctor entered, temporarily delaying Akane's train of
thought. His glasses were frosted over for no apparent reason. "Hello,
Akane! Fancy meeting you here!" Lack of sleep seemed to have the same
effect as seeing Kasumi. "Oh, Mr. Tendo and Ryoga are here, too!"
"Dr. Tofu..."
"Ah! I remember now." He swiftly depressed the pressure points on
Soun that would instigate quick healing. "So, how is she today?" the
doctor inquired as he went over his work. "Hmm. Seems like quite a wallop
he received." He paused. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that these are
the same types of injuries that Ranma regularly comes in here for." He
looked at Akane. "Did you -?"
"Kasumi's okay, Dr. Tofu," Akane could not look back straight at
him.
The doctor sighed. It seems that these past few days, he always had
to be someone's counselor. He finished treating the elder martial artist
and placed a hand on Akane's shoulder. "Akane..." he looked in her eyes,
"it's not your fault. Accidents happen all the time. There is no one to
blame -"
"It's not an accident!" Tears began to flow. "I was trying to hit
Ranma and, before I knew it, father was there, and I..." Akane couldn't
stop crying. "I hit him." She hid her face in her hands. "I'm really
sorry!" she sobbed.
Dr. Tofu let her cry her heart out. "Go ahead, Akane. You will
always feel better after a good cry," he said after a while. "When all
the tears are gone, your heart will feel lighter. The day will always
seem brighter." He smiled, "and that's the good doctor's prescription."
Akane laughed despite herself and found it easier to breathe.
"Thank you," her face began to light up and she smiled. "I feel so much
better now..."
Dr. Tofu felt sleepy again. "I'm going to get another cup of coffee
again." Scenes like this always made him tired. "You know," he called
back as he disappeared once again into the kitchen, "someone thinks
you're cute when you smile..." He glanced backwards to see her reaction,
but she wasn't listening. There was something wrong about drinking too
much caffeine, but he couldn't remember. "Oh, well, I'll just look it up
later..."
Akane took out a piece of blue cloth from one of her pockets and
stared at it. "Oh, Ranma... Where are you now?"
Kodachi Kuno went out of mobspace using the gymnastic-ribbon-
turned-grappling-hook. The convenient tree branch served to swing her out
of danger.
The group of women and cats went on their way, gorging a deep path
through the Kuno lawn and blasting through the eastern wall. "Seems like
they have taken a liking to my dear brother," she laughed. "Time to go
back to my darling Ranma!"
Kodachi jumped twice on the tree limb, using its recoil to catapult
her once again on the one true path that the unruly crowd had set her
away. "HO-HO-HO-HO!" she flew into the morning, leaving behind a cloud of
black petals.
The figure on the bed at Akane's left began to move. "Ryoga! You're
awake," Akane greeted the lost boy. "Thank you for trying to save P-chan
back there at the dojo."
Ryoga was tearing away the cobwebs of sleep when this statement was
received. Due to his current state of consciousness, he heard only the
second half of Akane's sentence. "I'm a pig and I'm back here at the
dojo," his mind interpreted, not getting any clear reports from other
parts of his body yet. Thinking he was in his cursed form, the
corresponding motor neurons activated according to reflex. "Akane! At
last, I find you!"
"Huh?!?" Ryoga snapped into complete wakefulness when both his arms
encircled Akane's figure. "Why do my arms seem too long?" Communication
channels finally opened and his brain began to take in information on his
current status and position. Alarm bells rang as he realized that he was
a guy. They became even louder when he realized that he was in the middle
of executing a maneuver made only when he was a pig.
"OH NO! I'M GLOMPING AKANE!!!"
Soun Tendo finally awakened. "I feel so much better now!" He
stretched and sat up and wished that he had not done so. The scene before
him penetrated even though his calm reserve.
He found his daughter being glomped by some man other than Ranma.
That was bad.
"AKA-" he managed to blurt out before...
*SLAM*
"Dr. Tofu! I need some help here!" Another martial artist entered
the room, with his son-in-law apparently glomping *her*.
Things always go from bad to worse in Nerima...
Sasuke hurried outside when the rumbling ceased. "Was that an
earthquake? Oh, master Kuno!" Using all of his ninja techniques, he
glided through the air to his master's side, bringing in tow Kuno's
uniform and an unmarked crate.
"HO-HO-HO-HO!" was the sound that met him as he stepped out into
the veranda.
"Mistress Kodachi, back here? But I thought that she had gone..."
The bright sunlight blinded him and it took a while for his eyes to
adjust. He was surprised by the amount of devastation he saw in front of
him.
"Master Kuunooo! Mistress Koodachiii!" the manservant called, but
there was no answer. "That's funny. I could have sworn they were here a
while ago..."
Sasuke followed the rut that marked were the multitudes had passed.
"What evil could have caused this?" he found himself asking himself as he
walked through the hole where the western once was. He paced the street
outside the mansion, deep in thought.
"Aha!" The answer was obvious. "It could be none other than the
enemy of all women, Ranma Saotome!"
*BASH*
"Aiiiieeeee!" Sasuke careened into the sky hit by a bicycle from
behind. "Shampoo for Mousse alone!" the violet-haired culprit sobbed as
the great ninja of the Kuno clan took his place in the sky.
The temperature of the room seemed to drop a few degrees. Ukyo
stared hard enough at Ryoga holding Akane in his arms to gorge holes in
his face. "How could... But we had... But there's... Why am I..."
Desperate thoughts echoed through her mind. Ranma-chan dropped with an
audible thump on the floor.
Akane was too stunned to say or do anything.
Ryoga knocked a nearby flowerpot in his rush to be away from Akane.
His face began to glow a beet red.
Soun's head began to ache once more.
Ranma-chan lay on the floor, unmoving.
Ukyo was the first one to act. She ran over to Ryoga and raised her
hand, as if to strike. Then there was a sad sigh, and the hand dropped
slowly to her side. She avoided Akane's questioning glances. Ryoga
avoided eye contact with the both of them.
Dr. Tofu found the patient on the floor. "Why, it's Ranma. What are
you doing on the floor?" His doctor reflexes kicked back in as Ranma-chan
failed to move. Placing him on a nearby couch, he began to act.
"Hmm... Seems like a broken bone here..." The clinic was filled
with loud cracks as the doctor reset his body structure. "You're okay
now, Ranma!" the doctor finished his task.
Akane thought it prudent to leave as soon as possible. "Come on,
Ranma!" She dragged him (she splashed her with some hot water from the
water heater on the way out) by the pig-tail. "Here's your shirt."
"Where am I?" Ranma struggled to follow. "Take care, dad!" she
called out to Soun, still in a state of shock.
"Take care of Ranma, Akane!" Dr. Tofu waved good-bye. Then he began
to worry. "Something seems wrong..."
Nabiki felt that she had forgotten something, but shrugged it off.
There was still so much to do.
Mikado finished combing his hair (it took him this long to do this
every morning). He walked down to breakfast and found the old man staring
at the television. Other than the flat voice of the TV, there was
silence.
"He has come..." the old man finally spoke.
Mikado listened to the sound and understood. "So he has..."
To be continued...
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|Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!|
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Aha! At last Chapter 3 is finished. Chapter 4 might come even longer
than this. FINALS ARE COMING! FINALS ARE COMING! Who can escape the
wrath of the Finals! No one! NO ONE! Ahem... Sorry, got carried away.
Special thanks to all those who have read the first two chapters. Really
special thanks to all those who have read the first two chapters and
liked it. Really very special thanks to those who have sent back C&C's.
Thanks to Soren Smith, Hunter Kid, Angela-sama and Emily Siazon. Hope to
see your names and more soon!
For those who have missed Chapter 1 (Early Monday Morning Madness) and
Chapter 2 (A brief respite) and managed to get this (you know the title),
you can get the text from the Nikholas F. Toledo Website, if you have the
stomach to pass though the tubular pipes of Mayhem's toilet bowl!
Watch out for chapter 4, where all the characters manage to make it to
school! What's going to happen to Ukyo and Ryoga, stuck in the same room
again? What would Nabiki have in store for Happosai using the letter
"N"? What will Genma do now that he can't turn back to a man? Why is
coffee so bad for the neighborhood chiropractor? And who is this man?
Find out this and a whole lot more in Memories Chapter 4, First Period
School Bell...
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|Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!|
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