Subject: [FFML] Reviews List for the week of October 9, 1998
From: "Shunsuke" <shunsuke@mailcity.com>
Date: 10/21/1998, 8:30 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

 


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                   The FFML Reviews List
                   =====================

For the week of: October 9, 1998
Reviewers:
   Paul Arezina <arezina@acad1.stvincent.edu>
   Helen Szeto  <h_szeto@hotmail.com>
   Shunsuke     <shunsuke@mailcity.com>
Synopses Submitted: 31

* * * * *
[Ah! Megami-sama!/Urusei Yatsura]

- - - - -
Title:"Urusei Megamisama!", Chapter Twelve: "The Game of the Oni"
Series: Ah! Megamisama! and Urusei Yatsura
Genre: Romantic Comedy (Epic Tragedy?)
Author: Henry J. Cobb
Email: hcobb@slip.net
Homepage: http://www.io.com/~hcobb/anime/fanfic/chaos.html

Date Sent to FFML: 27th Sep 1998
Size: 28404

Summary:

The game is tag, but who could have foreseen it would be so dangerous?

Don't miss the explosive conclusion of "Volume One: Ataru".

{Helen}
  What happens when Oni and Kami's play tag? ^_^;; Or.... perhaps, the
  Kami's fiance? ^_^ And playing tag hasn't been so challenging... ^_^;;
  The story's fun and in both the traditions of UY and AMS...  Cobb
  blends the key components of UY and AMS together to form a third
  combination that is distinctly fun to read.


* * * * *
[Blue Seed]

- - - - -
Title: Hidden Fires chapter 1
Series: Blue Seed
Genre: Dark
Author: LilTigre
Email: mitama@yahoo.com
Date Sent to FFML: 10/06/98

Summary:

While Kaede and Murakumo set forth some sinister plans of their own,
Kusanagi is suddenly infected with a mysterious illness that may take
his life! Can Momiji cope with the news?

{Shunsuke}
   Can I guess by the e-mail address that this author is the Blue Seed 
   version of Trakal, that all we'll see are Blue Seed stories? ^_^

   This reads very much like an episode of the series, though a little
   darker than a typical story.  (The author mentions in the notes
   that an earlier version wasn't dark enough, so it's hard to know
   what the intended feel is.)  Being like the TV episodes is both 
   good and bad: in terms of capturing the original feel, it's good, 
   but I found certain elements of the series a little corny and 
   contrived, and hard to swallow.  I'm not saying this story is that 
   way, but you probably need to be a Blue Seed fan to enjoy this one.

* * * * *
[My Dear Marie]

- - - - -
Title: Music-box Angel, Episode 4: The Longest Night
Series: My Dear Marie
Genre: Romantic Comedy/Drama
Author: Matthew Johnston
Email: matt2518@gladstone.uoregon.edu
Homepage: http://gladstone.uoregon.edu/~matt2518

Date Sent to FFML: 10/7/98
Size: 36K (about 6000 words)

Summary:

Marie has a snack, Hiroshi has a talk, Tanaka gets some sleep, and
Mari gets the nickle-tour.  All this, plus super-powered broccoli!

{Paul}
   Do androids dream of electric sheep? The dreams are certainly odd,
   but perhaps fitting, and perhaps drawing inspiration from the eighty
   million and one cyberpunk novels out there... but very nicely if
   surreally portrayed.  The question still remains of what will be
   done now that both Maries know they're copies... 14 or 15 out of 20.

* * * * *
[Original]

- - - - -
Title: Pastel Angel, Chapter One
Series: Original, mostly
Genre: Magical Girl
Author: Scott K. Jamison / SKJAM!
Email: majks@cyberx.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/5990

Date Sent to FFML: 10/9/98
Size: 17k

Summary:

Mitchell Cole always wanted to be a hero.  But he wasn't prepared for
what that might cost him...

{Paul}
   This is like Sailor Overdrive, only more mystic and less
   parodical...which, come to think of it, makes it little or nothing
   like Sailor Overdrive. This is more or less like the first episode
   of every other magical girl anime/fanfic I've watched/read/heard
   of, with the one exception that conventional weaponry actually does
   something to the Creature of Darkness (tm). The crossdressing is a
   unique touch, and the background is certainly novel... I just can't
   get past the feeling I've seen this all before. That doesn't mean
   the writing isn't any good, though... 15 or 16 out of 20.

* * * * *
[Patlabour]

- - - - -
Title: Patlabor: Personal Files, Episode 01
Series: Patlabor
Genre: Um... I dunno.  Continuing
Author: David A. Tatum
Email: desaix@sysnet.net
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872/fanfics.htm

Date Sent to FFML: 10/8/98

Summary:

Ohta is transferred to the newly formed Third Unit, and doesn't take
it very well.  Noa and Shinohara try to find out why.  A bunch of new
recruits arrive.  The first episode of a continuing Patlabor fanfic
which will hopefully cover the time between the end of New Files and
the start of the Second movie... and beyong.

{Shunsuke}
   Beyong, huh?  And one swelling error after another. ^_^

   This one tries to put a more human and emotional face to characters 
   in a series that is (to my limited knowledge) more comedic and 
   "blow 'em up" in style.  I get the feeling there's depth to some 
   characters the author portrays that isn't part of the regular story 
   which can help make for compelling reading.  It does require some 
   knowledge of the OAV/TV series to make sense of certain things, but 
   I don't think a reader needs to be a raving lunatic to get
   something out of this.

* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2]

- - - - -
Title: Hearts and Minds Prelude 6 -- Shan Pu: Bie Liao
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Continuation
Author: Gary Kleppe
Email: kleppe@execpc.com
Homepage: http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html

Date Sent to FFML: 10/5
Size: 28 kb

Summary:

With Ranma and Akane newly married and Cologne on her deathbed,
Shampoo has to decide on her future. Meanwhile, Cologne has one last
request to make of Ranma, and Kaede the shinto priestess chooses an
apprentice.

{Helen}
  I remember reading this the first time that it was released...and I
  liked it a bit.  Not alot, not love, but I did like it .. a bit.
  This second release has gained a different perspective; I've read
  some more Ranma fics and taken a new look at Shamps... I liked this
  story because of the character development of Shampoo... the story
  is not entirely somber but it is certainly much more serious in
  many ways.  I especially like the choosing of the apprentice .. oh
  my, oh my. ^_-

- - - - -
Title: Heat
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Lemon-scented
Author: Lord Archive
Email: archive@mich.com
Homepage: www.mich.com/~archive/anime

Date Sent to FFML: 10-6
Size: 10K

Summary:

When Ranma's suitors keep coming at him, he feels a little too much
pressure for him to chose them and he goes to Akane to help release
that pressure.

{Paul}
   Ya know, this goes where the original series didn't, but logically
   could, go... though not so far as Lurker-san's "They Call Him Mr.
   Happy". Which is perhaps for the better, hmm? Reading this reminded
   me of reading one of Kun-chan's drafts with the [insert lemon scene
   here] separator, only this was a tad more serious/panicked in
   places. All in all, a very credible setup... at least to my
   admittedly inexperienced eyes. 14 or 15 out of 20.

- - - - -
Title: N.F.
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: SPAMFIC
Author: Freemage
Email: freemage@hotmail.com
Homepage: In continuous production

Date Sent to FFML: 10/6
Size: 6K

Summary:

This bit o' seasoned lunchmeat was the result of reading/writing C&C
at 2 in the morning.  Consider yourselves warned.

Nabiki's going to forgive all Ranma's debts as a wedding gift!  Of
course, there's a price....  Includes alternate ending.

PS: Yes, this really does need a better title.

{Paul}
   Ahem. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Though one wonders why Nabiki would WANT
   to do such a thing... *shrug*. Ah well, the fic's in the chase, not
   the capture.  Or something like that. 7 of 10 on the short scale.
   Hmm... "Due Recompense"... nah. Payment and all associated possible
   titles carry a heavy-handedness to it that this fic just didn't
   have.

- - - - -
Title: The Party's Over Part 2
Series: Ranma
Genre: Continuation
Author: P-R-P-Chan
Email: prpchanb@colba.net
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~prpchan/little/index.htm

Date Sent to FFML: 10/5/98
Size: 7k

Summary:

The party finally gets into full swing thanks to Happosai and a bottle
of alcohol...

{Shunsuke}
   This is about as polished as Ranma.  With a lot of rough edges and 
   nary a correction in sight, this is rough going.

   The story really doesn't accomplish much more than the typical kind 
   of Ranma-violence; if it's intended to lead somewhere, like an 
   emotional breakthrough for Ryouga, it would be better to wait and
   collect all the parts of this series before reading it.  Right now, 
   this is unremarkable.

- - - - -
Title: Suicide Blast part 1, fwd by Gary Kleppe
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Call it powerful, call it drama, call it frightening, but it's NOT Dark... yet
Author: Keener
Email: otakunxs@bellsouth.net
Homepage: currenlty homeless.net.give.generously

Date Sent to FFML: 10/05/98
Size: 20K

Summary:

It starts with a gentle wind, it starts with a damning phone call, it
starts with the empty darkness of a lonely soul... it started with
many things, but it'll end with only one... BOOM! Ryouga has all the
answers to a lifetime of pain in the palm of his hands, alpha and
omega, begining and ending, all in a fragment of light and
unimaginable power. Heaven help anyone who gets in his way...

{Paul}
   For some reason, I felt like I should READ THIS FIC and make a few
   comments. First, the introduction is nicely done and translates
   almost cinematically into the story itself. And Ryoga... everyone
   who thinks he can be happy, stop reading now or you'll sprain your
   rationalizing synapses. I don't see what goes on as being invalid
   or any less probable than how Ryoga ends up in, say, Lawson's
   story. Something just ticks the other way... a shadow from the
   past, perhaps, a stray thought, an attachment that should have been
   severed long ago... whatever it is, Ryoga comes up with a new
   technique which is absolutely devastating and completely in
   character... at least, as he's portrayed here. I can't say I'm
   looking forward to reading more, but I can say I want to... 17 or
   18 out of 20.

- - - - -
Title: Suicide Blast part 2, fwd by Switch of the Zu crew
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Call it powerful, call it drama, call it frightening, but it's NOT Dark... yet
Author: Keener
Email: otakunxs@bellsouth.net
Homepage: currently homeless.net.give.generously

Date Sent to FFML: 10/07/98
Size: 23K

Summary:

Ranma has two weeks to prepare for the fight of his life. How do you
stop someone who has already accepted the grave's deadly embrace and
wears it like armor? With the power to pulverize anything in his path
and shattered fragments where his heart once was, Ryouga may very well
be impossible to stop. Even worse, the stakes are completely different
this time... this time, it's not a fight to the death, but a fight for
someone else's life.

{Paul}
   Oh good GOD. Ryoga's gone... evil? That's the only word I found fit
   when I READ THIS FIC. It waxes extremely metaphorical in places;
   nothing you'll have any problems holding on to, and it rings
   throughout of the somewhat cynical and suppressedly hysterical
   humor that Keener's become famous? infamous? afamous? for. Perhaps
   it's because laughter is the least expected response in the face of
   death... nice exposition out of Cologne's mouth, by the way... nice
   characterization of everyone, as a matter of fact. Again...I'll
   read the next part when it comes. Perhaps it'll be a bit happier,
   given the events at the end of this one... 18 and up out of 20.

- - - - -
Title: Three Souls, One Heart Chapter 3
Series: Ranma
Genre: Continuation
Author: David A. Tatum
Email: desaix@sysnet.net
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872/fanfics.htm

Date Sent to FFML: 10/8/98

Summary:

Ranma and Akane go on a couple of dates while the Oni moves in.

{Paul}
   You know, this is probably the first chapter to seriously deviate
   from the assumptions a lot of people make about canon... and bring
   the OVA into conflict with the manga. I just wish there was some
   other way to explain what went on than having the characters do it
   and having said explanation stick out from the rest of the story,
   but I can't think of one off the top of my head. Aside from that...
   nice story going on, though it doesn't deviate much from the other
   "Akane Gets a Clue" stories out there. The inclusion of Nodoka is
   a new touch, though, as is the mysterious voice... and there's one
   mother of a cliffhanger at the end. 11 or 12 out of 20... simply
   because the parts I noted above seemed so awkward.

- - - - -
Title: The Ties That Bind, Intro & Part 1
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate Universe
Author: Blade (Chris McNeil)
Email: ayiekie@hotmail.com

Date Sent to FFML: October 4th
Size: 35k

Summary:

In yet another battle with Ranma, Pantyhose Tarou manages to steal a
very special scroll...one that allows the holder to make a wish!  But
the result of his wish is most definitely -not- what he expected...

{Paul}
   First few paragraphs of Chapter 1: Been there. Done that. But how
   can you write an alternate universe fic without making reference to
   the original so consistently? And not be a genius, "A Love Story"
   notwithstanding.... This incarnation proves to be just as much a
   mad bad bishonen lad as the original Tarou... which is odd, since
   his cynicism seems rather out-of-place in the Ranmaverse. More than
   this I cannot yet say... 10 or 11 out of 20, simply because you
   can't make a retread any good no matter how much you try and
   change...

- - - - -
Title: The Ties That Bind, Part 2
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate Universe
Author: Blade (Chris McNeil)
Email: ayiekie@hotmail.com

Date Sent to FFML: October 4th
Size: 23K

Summary:

Ranma and Panma Saotome are introduced to the Tendo's, and the curses
are explained.  Ranma ends up being unwillingly engaged to Akane, and
Panma ends up with an even more unwilling Nabiki, prompting both sets
of siblings to begin to plot to rid themselves of their unwanted
fiancees.

{Paul}
   Yet more Direct From Volume 1 events. Pantsuit-boy isn't changing
   all that much quite yet, and the world is subtly changing so that
   his arrogance doesn't seem so arrogant. Or perhaps it's just
   circumstances. Interesting plan on Nabiki's part... one wonders
   what would have happened had she carried it out in the original
   manga. The plan also marks the first serious shift from canon; let's
   hope it can be played up. 12 or 13 out of 20; again, not much here I
   haven't seen before in a hundred different incarnations.

- - - - -
Title: The Ties That Bind, Part 3
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate Universe
Author: Blade (Chris McNeil)
Email: ayiekie@hotmail.com

Date Sent to FFML: October 4th
Size: 28K

Summary:

Ever since Ranma and Panma arrived, it's been one battle after
another: Ranma vs. Panma, Panma vs. Genma, Genma vs. Ranma, and Ranma
vs...Kunou?  No surprise that, but Kunou doesn't seem to be the sort
to take losing easily...and exactly -what- does Nabiki have up her
sleeve, anyway?  Also includes outtakes from funny prereader
commentary. ;p

{Paul}
   Okay, first of all, the mini-omakes at the end are hilarious. Leave
   'em in. Second of all... somehow, the series is filling out quite a
   bit better with someone for Ranma to bounce things off of. Dialogue,
   punches, kicks, the occasional tanuki statue... of course, this has
   all been one big prelude. We'll see more things different next
   chapter, one hopes. 12 or 13 out of 20.

- - - - -
Title: The Ties That Bind, Part 4
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate Universe
Author: Blade (Chris McNeil)
Email: ayiekie@hotmail.com

Date Sent to FFML: October 4th
Size: 27K

Summary:

Tatewaki Kunou is MAD...mad at Ranma, and madly smitten by the
mysterious, powerful blonde-haired girl that has been seen around
Furinkan.  And Panma Saotome's rather mad too...mad at being stuck in
his girl form, and mad at Kunou for bugging him.  And as for
Nabiki...does she really have a goal in mind by thrusting Kunou and
her unwilling fiancee into conflict, or is she going a little mad
herself?

{Paul}
   New scenes, new scenes! Oodles of new scenes! For some reason I get
   an image of Nabiki saying "I LOVE it when a plan comes together"
   every so often. The takes on the characters are nicely done; you
   managed to capture the elegant simpicity that is (NOT!) Tatewaki
   Kuno quite well. Again, interesting interactions between pantsuit-
   boy and the rest of the cast; the mold is cracking already. 13 or
   14 out of 20.

- - - - -
Title: The Ties That Bind, Part 5
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate Universe
Author: Blade (Chris McNeil)
Email: ayiekie@hotmail.com

Date Sent to FFML: October 5th
Size: 55K

Summary:

Tempers flare as Kunou and Panma move towards a final showdown.  All
bets are on Kunou coming out of the battle in more pieces than he
entered it, but Nabiki seems confident of another outcome...and what
exactly is on Kodachi Kunou's mind, anyway?

{Paul}
   Now this was a rather nice fight scene, I have to admit. Very good
   interplay among the characters, one subplot gone at least somewhat
   quiescent, shades of Ranma and Akane actually getting together now
   that the boy doesn't have to worry about his macho, macho pride...
   well, at least not so much as he does in the original. All in all,
   a very nice chapter, and I'm waiting for more. 14 or 15 out of 20.

- - - - -
Title: Waters Under Earth - Chapter 26
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Darkish, Continuation
Author: Alan Harnum
Email: harnums@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Bay/9758

Date Sent to FFML: October 4th
Size: 96k

Summary:

As the unfolding of Ranma's destiny continues in China, he finds
himself again encountering old foes as new allies, uniting the people
of Jusenkyou against the malign evil that threatens their very
existence, and confronting a great power of darkness that may very
well consume him and his new allies.

{Paul}
   HOW COULD YOU TAKE ON THE GENRE NAME GUBBY PIGEONHOLED YOU AS?!
   HOW?! HOW?! HOW?!...

   Erm, forgive me. I still have nightmares about the guy... and,
   speaking of which, I'll likely have nightmares about this chapter,
   particularly the end, for some time to come. Not much else I can
   say, really, except that this was a wonderfully detailed and well-
   thought-out look into the innards of the Musk Dynasty... most of
   which you likely fabricated, as you did for the civilization at
   Mount Phoenix. And it's a wonderful way of weaving in a support
   network... very few if any holes show in the work. 18 and up out
   of 20.

* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / Buffy: The Vampire Slayer]

- - - - -
Title: Ranma: The Vampire Slayer "Welcome to Nerima"
Series:Ranma 1/2 - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
Genre: Crossover [Draft]
Author: George Mori
Email: morig@cwtel.com
Homepage: www.cwtel.com/morig/

Date Sent to FFML:10/07/98
Size:39k

Summary:

An offshoot of the Hell Mouth has opened near the Nerima ward in
Tokyo, Buffy and crew head to Japan in order to investigate, where
they eventually shack up in the Tendo Dojo. They meet Ranma and go off
from there. Spike and Drusilla have also made it to Japan in the hopes
of never seeing Buffy again. Part 1 of 2.

{Shunsuke}
   ...

   This really suffers from a lack of feel or flow.  Things read like 
   a list of events, not a story, and the characters have no
   personality.  I know nothing about Buffy TV (or the movie, for that 
   matter) but there doesn't seem to be any of the borrowed people.  
   Sorry to say it, but this has very few redeeming qualities and is 
   hard going, and the script format doesn't help either.

* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / Reboot]

- - - - -
Title: Wild Boot v 1.7
Series: Ranma/ReBoot
Genre: Fusion
Author: David Farr
Email: djfarr@ihug.co.nz
Homepage: http://www.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr

Date Sent to FFML: 9 October 1998
Size: 26k

Summary:

Mainframe is all in a flurry as the system prepare for an upgrade.
Unfortunately not everything goes as planned. Kuno creates a Trojan
file and breaks into the Principal Office, sealing everyone out except
Ranma and Akane, who have to save the system all by themselves.

{Paul}
   Hmm. This is obviously patterned after an episode of the inspiring
   series. The little gag with the ghost sprite along the way was
   quite humorous, and the way Kunou ends up being defeated is both
   expected and surprisingly fitting. A very nice chapter, all things
   considered... 13 or 14 out of 20.

- - - - -
Title: Wild Boot v 1.8.1
Series: Ranma/ReBoot
Genre: Fusion
Author: David Farr
Email: djfarr@ihug.co.nz
Homepage: http://www.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr

Date Sent to FFML: 9 October 1998
Size: 23k

Summary:

When Mike the TV shatters Kodachi's looking glass, he releases a force
more lethal than any the system has seen before. Ranma, Akane, Nabiki,
Shampoo and RyoGA, must use Kasumi's secret weapon to defeat the
rampaging Nullzilla, a monster made entirely of the energy saping
nulls.

{Paul}
   I'd like to be afraid. I'd like to have blood singing through my
   veins as a battle is waged which will determine the fate of
   Mainframe... but I can't. Why? Because this chapter, like many
   previous, includes references to other shows and roles being cast
   semi-accordingly. However, this chapter, unlike many previous, has
   its central gag fall a bit flat. At least for me. It stopped being
   funny and started becoming boring about halfway through... and I
   can only give it a 10 or 11 out of 20 for that.

* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / Sailor Moon]

- - - - -
Title: [FFML][Ranma/SM] A Different Viewpoint  pt 36
Series: Ranma/SM
Genre: Continuation/Crossover/SI
Author: Christopher J. Olsen
Email: Gamers@pacbell.net
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/1449

Date Sent to FFML: 10-7-98
Size: 38 KB

Summary:

The fight of the century is on, as Ranma and the Senshi fight for the
fate of the world against impossible odds.  Akane goes one on one with
War!  Ukyo shows Pelelance how a good chef cooks, and a Demoness and
three Godesses do Cameo apperances.

[This story could not be found in the FFML archive or on the writer's 
page; it will be reviewed next week.]

* * * * *
[Sailor Moon]

- - - - -
Title: Sailor Moon 4200: Chapter 7
Series: Sailor Moon
Genre: Drama Serial
Author: Angus MacSpon
Email: macspon@ihug.co.nz
Homepage: http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~macspon/

Date Sent to FFML: 10 Oct 1998
Size: 140K

Summary:

SERIES SUMMARY: It's 700 years since the destruction of Crystal Tokyo,
and Artemis is looking for a new generation of Senshi.  Some of them
are the old ones reborn once more; some of them are new; and all of
them are in trouble.

EPISODE SUMMARY: The reunion between Miyo and Itsuko (Makoto and Rei)
goes poorly; the Enemy tries a new (or rather, very old) tactic; a
familiar face reappears unexpectedly; and a new Senshi shows up -- but
one with a hidden secret...

{Helen}
   Wow.  This story is getting better and better as I look forward to
   the next chapter.  I'm reminded a bit.. of Silent Mobieus; don't
   ask me where or how or why... it just does.  Even after thousand-
   plus years from the Tokyo of now, the method of Senshi is still the
   same: blind luck ^_^;

   The story is separated into two parts but it is emotionally-
   gripping at times... especially the reunion between two very old
   friends... and Pluto makes an opportune appearance... always there
   when you need her ^_^

* * * * *
[Sailor Moon/Dilbert]

- - - - -
Title: How Many Pens are Needed for Your Job?
Series: Sailor Moon, Dilbert
Genre: crossover, humor
Author: Nicholas Eckert
Email: nicholec@nscc.cc.oh.us
Homepage: http://www.fortunecity.com/campus/law/44/fanfic.html

Date Sent to FFML: Sept. 30
Size: 35,780 bytes

Summary:

Hidden inside its inspiring thread, "Sailor Mixup!", it is a story of
henshin wands, pocket protectors, and hypnosis that, while not epic in
proportions, is rather long for this author.  Take the characters of
Naoko Takeuchi and Scott Adams, add a sick idea from a spamfic by
Matthew Campbell, and stand far, far back as the writer's mind stirs
vigorously.

{Paul}
   My reactions to this are twofold.

   1: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA!

   2: You know, Dilbert really doesn't work when you try and put it in
   prose.

   In all seriousness, though, this was a wild and crazy ride all the
   way, mixing a somewhat watered-down version of Dilbertian chaos
   with the best of the magical girls. Although it was rather trying
   to translate this all, mentally, into doujinshi form so it could
   be seen in its original setting...as I said, some things just can't
   make the jump from cartoon to prose. 15 or 16 out of 20, though,
   simply because I was laughing too hard to care most of the time.

* * * * *
[Sailor Moon/El Hazard]

- - - - -
Title: Setsuna's Secret chapters 01-11
Series: Sailor Moon/El-Hazard
Genre: X-over
Author: Tom Mathews a.k.a Disruptor
Email: mathews1@gte.net
Homepage: http://home1.gte.net/mathews1/index.htm

Date Sent to FFML:Oct 10, 1998
Size:121 k

Summary:

Neo-queen Serenity finds out that Sailor Pluto is an android that has
now been enslaved to her.  As Eternal Sailor Moon, she vows to free
Sailor Pluto form her enslavement.  She takes a small part to the
universe where Setsuna was made: El-Hazard

Note: Still a rough draft

{Shunsuke}
   I've had the advantage of reading and correcting part of this for
   the author, so I have an idea of what he has in mind.  Though not
   complete, this has a straight path and knows where it's going.  The 
   story and events make sense, though sometimes things happen are a
   little too convenient, but then again that's how things happen in 
   Sailor Moon. 

   There's still a lot of rough edges, formatting and spelling or word
   errors to fix, and it seems like not much beyond writing new
   chapters has been done to this since I first saw it about three
   months ago.  Some elements, especially in chapter one involving
   Setsuna and Usagi, have been improved, but I would suggest waiting 
   until a rewrite happens to read this.

* * * * *
[Tenchi Muyou!]

- - - - -
Title: Heaven and Eterntiy: Final Lesson
Series: Tenchi Muyo!
Genre: [Action][Intrigue]
Author: K'thardin
Email: kthardin@geocities.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/area51/nebula/9766

Date Sent to FFML: 09Oct98
Size: 34KB

Summary:

Tokimi is preparing to make her move against this dimension.  As she
makes plans for her final victory, Cyraqs takes Tenchi to a place
where his full potential may finally be realized...assuming it doens't
kill him first.  Meanwhile Tsunami quietly makes preparations of her
own against her sister's coming.

{Shunsuke}
   (None of these were submitted in the order that they are numbered
   in the series, so my reviews for these stories will be written in a
   different order than you read them; sorry for any inconsistencies, 
   blame the author if you have to. O_-)

   Quite a bit rougher and error-filled compared to the others in 
   this series submitted this week.  This is another interesting POV, 
   seeing the same details from different people's eyes; I did find 
   it a bit repetitive in certain scenes (i.e. Cyraq's and Tenchi's
   return from their trip).  Still, it's of the same quality and 
   worth a look.

   One more point...the swearing in this isn't so much offensive as 
   it is pointless.  It doesn't add to the story, and may turn off 
   readers who like TM!  

- - - - -
Title: Heaven and Eterntiy: Galaxy Police Dreams
Series: Tenchi Muyo!
Genre: [Action][waffy?]
Author: K'thardin
Email: kthardin@geocities.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/area51/nebula/9766

Date Sent to FFML: 09Oct98
Size: 34KB

Summary:

Ryuken has been on Earth for only a month and already he has bit off
more than he could chew.  For he is attmepting to solve the mystery of
Mihoshi.  In space, after the recent, destruction of the GP HQ by the
cosmic being Kain, a new one is in the middle of construction.
However one of those involved has been reassigned to the Juraian
protectorate Terra, to back up Mihoshi.  Guess who got the job?

{Shunsuke}
   Now here's something rare and very well done: jumping between times 
   and not needing or choosing to explain it to the reader, yet being 
   very clear and obvious.  Nice job of switching between the raid and 
   the mundane events.

   But what kind of weirdo is this writer?  "Mountain Dew", as "food
   of the gods", sheesh.  Everybody knows it's Orangina.

- - - - -
Title: Heaven and Eterntiy: Game Pieces
Series: Tenchi Muyo!
Genre: [Action][Intrigue]
Author: K'thardin
Email: kthardin@geocities.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/area51/nebula/9766

Date Sent to FFML: 09Oct98
Size: 24KB

Summary:

The enemy continues to scheme.  Alliances are formed, plans are
concieved, and allies gathered.  Other players in this game show
themsleves, but are they friend or foe?  Meanwhile on Earth Mihoshi
begins to remember pieces of her shattered past, a past that will soon
catch up with her.

{Shunsuke}
   This is heavily dependant on earlier parts of the series, and makes 
   for difficult reading without it.  Characterization and actions of 
   people are not action-intensive, but are very definite and well
   defined.  There's little wasted space here.

   The ending paragraph, though, with its silly off-hand nature, kind 
   of spoils it.

- - - - -
Title: Heaven and Eterntiy: Heaven and Earth, Love and Honor
Series: Tenchi Muyo!
Genre: [Action][War]
Author: K'thardin
Email: kthardin@geocities.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/area51/nebula/9766

Date Sent to FFML: 09Oct98
Size: 177KB

Summary:

Tokimi has struck and struck hard! Jurai and the GP real under her
onslaught.  Others join the fray, but even the protectors of the
universe cannot keep up the fight forever.  Unfortunately Tokimi has
also managed to take Tsunami and Washuu as well.  One last gambit
remains, but only if Cyraqs can keep Tokimi busy long enough for
Tenchi and co to get there.  Otherwise all is lost.

{Shunsuke}
   Unfortunately, this is the weakest of the parts in this series 
   listed here; it feels jumpy and sputters at times, not well paced 
   like the others.  It has "rushed job" written all over it, and many 
   more errors appear than in the other parts, which makes for tough 
   reading.  

   As for the events themselves, there's nothing out of place, and 
   nothing is farfetched (although Achika's reappearance is a little 
   predictable).  My only dislike of the plot and storyline is the 
   aftermath, how *everything* works out perfect and lovey-dovey.  I'm 
   not suggesting I expected an evil, dark and black ending, and this 
   ending does fit the Tenchi continuum, but for my money, everything 
   has a price, including victory, and nobody loses here (except for 
   one person, who we don't mind to see losing ^_^).

   Oh - and a word in your ear: "loose" is to release, "lose" is to be 
   defeated.  (Three times?  Four?  Ten?)

- - - - -
Title: Heaven and Eterntiy: Washuu and Hayes
Series: Tenchi Muyo!
Genre: [Action][Ultra Waffy][Lime]
Author: K'thardin
Email: kthardin@geocities.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/area51/nebula/9766

Date Sent to FFML:09Oct98
Size: 23KB

Summary:

Some say that true love never dies, that it endures no matter how long
the two are appart or what they have endured apart.  Now must Washuu
and Hayes confront that very question...and determine if it's true, or
not.

{Shunsuke}
   Hayes?  Not a very weird name, if you ask me...nice to see a 
   portrayal of Washuu as a woman, not a mad scientist/boy chaser.  

   This is more of the same as the other stories in this series, and 
   probably needs familiarity with earlier parts, but only to know 
   who Hayes is; for regular Tenchi fans, there's nothing beyond what 
   you already know.

* * * * *
[Yuu Yuu Hakusho]

- - - - -
Title: The First and The Last
Series: Yu Yu Hakusho
Genre: Dark, Angst and Yaoi
Author: W. Siew Lee
Email: wsiewlee@tm.net.my
Homepage: http://member.xoom.com/hiei/

Date Sent to FFML: 9th of October, 1998
Size: 9 kbs

Summary:

Hiei is dead. Shiori is dead. What can Kurama say anymore?

{Shunsuke}
   Not as impressive as her last YYH piece, Entwined Destinies, but 
   this is still gut-wrenching.  A lot of emotion and pain, though 
   with little action other than described in Kurama's memory.  This 
   seems meant to be more about portraying emotion rather than doing 
   anything with the characters (other than Kurama's final desperate 
   act), but there's still something here worth looking at.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

End of the FFML Reviews List for the week of: October 9, 1998