The Spam-Fic that will put a bad taste in Anyone�s mouth:


    The call came as a relief to all the others in the house.  They came 
running as soon as they heard it, no matter where they were or what they 
were doing.  One was at the computer, two more at the shogi board, and 
another one in the dojo.  It was the moment that they�d all been waiting 
for.
    Food was on top of the table, waiting for everyone to get there.  
Kasumi had just finished putting on the last plate when everyone rushed 
into the dining room.  No sooner had they seen the food, however, and 
they were all wishing that they were somewhere else.  Kasumi, like last 
time, had disconnected the smoke alarms and endured a closed kitchen 
door so there were no smells escaping and warning the captives at the 
table.
    "Lemme guess.  Akane made most of this dinner."
    "Why, Ranma, I do believe you�re right," was Kasumi�s reply.
    Ranma had a very noticeable grimace on his face as he poked at the 
brown blob on his plate.  His father wasn�t fighting for this dinner.  
He thought, �No one in their right mind *would* fight over this dinner.
    Akane entered the dining room.  She had a huge smile on her face.  
"Everyone, dig in!  Did you know I went through a lot to make this?"
    The whole table gave her a muted groan.  Akane was too happy to 
notice, though.  Kasumi actually let *her* make the dinner tonight, and 
she was even able to experiment!
    Dinner proceeded somewhat predictably, with everyone taking just 
enough of the slop to survive until breakfast.  Tonight�s fare was 
especially distasteful, though.
    "Akane, what exactly is in this?"
    "Oh, I put in a bunch of spices, Nabiki� and my secret ingredient, 
too."
    "And what would that be?"
    "Well, come into the kitchen and I�ll show you."
    Ranma was determined to go with Nabiki, just in case there was 
another creature waiting to get out of that kitchen, and to also destroy 
Akane�s "secret ingredient".  As the three of them entered the kitchen, 
they saw that the room resembled a nuclear disaster.  Digging through an 
especially large brown something on the kitchen counter, Akane came up 
with the "secret ingredient".
    "I found this when I was shopping with Kasumi, and it looked pretty 
good.  So, I decided to use it."
    Ranma looked at the blue can.  He couldn�t read the English 
lettering on the side.  However, Nabiki could.
    "Akane!  That�s not edible!  That�s Spam!"

  
   ---Scott "Zoogz" Jamison
  Better living through terrible puns (Thanks Gary!)

  
   

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