Originally posted to GenSao's on 9/11/98.
The Taking of AIC
A Tenchi-Muyo! fanfic by Keiichi Masaki
(keiichi_dono@hotmail.com, keiichi_dono@altavista.net)
Tenchi and company are the property of Pioneer and AIC.
This fic was inspired by all the bitching on the Tenchi ML over the past
few months
about the "poor quality" of Manatsu no Eve (whoops, I mean Daughter of
Darkness) and
Shin Tenchi (whoops again, I mean Tenchi in Tokyo), the anime film Otaku
no Video, and
the old adage (which is probably the motto of fanfic writers the world
'round), "If you
want something done right, do it yourself."
(Cue opening theme--"Otaking" from Otaku no Video)
They could be seen from kilometers away. They could be heard from
dozens of
kilometer away. They made no overt signs of violence, but all in their
path decided that
discretion was the better part of valor and got out of the way.
There were millions of them, some in the forms of their favorite anime
or manga
characters, others brave enough to retain their original identities.
There were giant
pandas and kawaii teenage schoolgirls in skimpy fukus and adorable pets
of every
conceivable type, from cabbits to hot-springs penguins. There were
mecha, Valkyries
and Evangelions and Gundams and even less well-known models.
The guards around the building, some of whom had been military
veterans,
screamed and ran. For the foe they faced, you see, was no ordinary foe,
who can be
disarmed by grabbing their weapons (although many in the crowd were
armed).
These were people whose weapons were their words and imaginations, the
ones
who sat at computers and poured their hearts and souls into something
that not many
people can understand, the ones who regarded writing as a labor of love
instead of a
necessary chore.
These were fanfic writers.
And they had come for their revenge.
It had started slowly, with barely-heard complaints about decaying
quality in
certain series. The complaints had become better-heard as some series
were left
unfinished, or new products did not stand up to the expectations of the
otaku.
Finally, a convocation of fanfic writers was called, to discuss what
could be done
about the crisis. Representatives of every major anime fandom group was
there, from the
influential Anime Fan Fiction Ring to the small-but-devoted Temple of
the Teal-tressed
Goddess, Kiyone Makibi. For weeks the options were debated, to the
point where it
seemed as if all was lost. But then some wiseass quipped, "Why don't we
take over?"
The entire assembly laughed at the joke, for it was a much-needed break
of stress.
However, some started thinking about it, and the more they thought, the
more sense it
made.
You see, fanfic writers are not all college students with too much free
time on
their hands. Some have actual careers, and in important places. Over
the next few
months, arrangements were made, and money changed hands. And now, the
dream of
every fanfic writer--recognition as a professional--was at hand.
The assembly ground to a halt in front of its objective, the
headquarters of Anime
International Company, or AIC. This was the company that most fanfic
writers had a
beef with, and thus this was the starting point.
In the front lines, nearest the main entrance, a young man best
described as a
younger, stockier Ryoji Kaji minus the stubble and plus a mustache
hefted his
megaphone. By a consensus of his fellow Tenchi-Muyo! specialists (and
due to the
author's ego), he had been elected spokeswriter for the AIC invasion.
Looking around
nervously, he raised the megaphone to his lips, preparing to speak--
--and one of the third-story windows opened, a white flag tentatively
poking out,
as if expecting to come under fire, before waving around frantically.
Beside him, a 185-cm tall man with thinning blond hair relaxed. "Wow,"
he said.
"That was almost too easy."
"No kidding," said the oversized and foul-smelling cabbit with an
eyepatch and a
backwards-turned Yankees cap.
"To tell you the truth," commented the muscular young man who bore a
familial
resemblance to a certain teal-tressed goddess, "I feel almost
disappointed."
"I'm not," murmured the spokeswriter. "I hadn't decided what to say."
All the otaku around him facefaulted.
At the negotiations table, two days later
"....we'll give you anything you want, anything!" The CEO of AIC
looked quite
frantic. The otaku negotiating team mentally decided that bringing in
several Evas with
them had been a good idea.
The head negotiator for the otaku, a young man whose major mark on
fanfic
writing had been an uproariously hilarious spoof on a very dark anime,
considered for a
moment. "We only want one thing, for all of us...."
The CEO gulped, afraid that the ranks of writers outside would descend
upon him
now, to tear him limb from limb for the poor quality of the last Tenchi
movie.
"We want to be on your writing staff!"
The CEO facefaulted.
He recovered quickly. "That's it?"
The young man who headed the Tenchi delegation nodded. "Who better to
write
anime? For us, it's a labor of love."
Epilogue:
IAC (International Anime Channel, #789 on your cable box)
Mondays: Original Series (TV)
(Tenchi Universe, Ranma 1/2, Evangelion, etc.)
Tuesdays: Original Spin-offs***
(Evangelion R, Tenchi Muyo TV, Thy Inward Love, etc.)
Wednesdays: OVA Surprise*
(Tenchi-Muyo!Ryo-ohki, El-Hazard: The Magnificent World, Macross Plus,
etc.)
Thursdays: Alternate Worlds**
(Mugen Tenchi Muyo!, Neon Exodus Evangelion, Heaven and Eternity, etc.)
Fridays: Movie Time*
(Tenchi Muyo in Love, End of Evangelion, Super Dimensional Fortress
Macross: Do You
Remember Love?, etc.)
Saturday: Mature Themes**
(Aikan Muyo, La Blue Girl, The Misato Chronicles, etc.)
Sunday: One-shots and Spoofs***
(Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut, Iron Roses, Inevitabilities)
(Note to guide: The titles listed above are indicative of the types of
series that can be
found each night, and are not the only series that can be seen that
night. Nearly 50% of
all the series, movies, etc. are fanfic-based and are relatively
accurate as far as the source
material is concerned; the nights with asterixes are indicative of the
number of fanfic-
based anime that night: *=10-40%, **=41-75%, and ***=76-100%. In
addition, many of
the series have episodes that are much longer than the others (i.e.,
Heaven and Eternity
#14; Mugen Tenchi Muyo! #12; just about every episode of Aikan Muyo) and
thus qualify
to be shown on both their series' home night and on the movie night. If
you have a fanfic
that you would like to see adapted into an anime, please contact the
Chief Adaptive
Writer-Editor at keiichi_dono@hotmail.com. Thank you!)
(Cue closing theme--"The Lost Way of Otaku" from Otaku no Video)
Author's notes: Oh, if only this could happen. Don't think that I'm
unaware of the current
financial problems in Japan right now, I am. This is meant to be a
joke, a fantasy. I think
every fanfic writer has a fantasy about their stories being made into
real live (figuratively
speaking, of course) anime.
Thank you to Michael "Brazil" Borgwardt, Patrick "Seion" Stewart, and
Joe "Chi-ohki"
McKenzie for providing me with physical descriptions--and thus inviting
yourselves into
the story. For the rest of you, I asked and asked and asked, and they
were the only ones
who responded. I tried to include you in as part of the masses.
My apologies to Andrew Huang for featuring you without your permission.
This is for everyone who's ever seen a TV show or read a book and
thought, "I could do
better than that."
Keiichi Masaki, High Priest of the Temple
of the Teal-tressed Goddess, Kiyone Makibi
Member of the Kiyone Ring and the Tenchi Ring
Co-writer, Mugen Tenchi Muyo!
http://members.xoom.com/RC_Books/mugen1.html
Visit my Temple of the Teal-tressed Goddess
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Palace/9909
ICQ #: 18044248
"I am the one you think I am."
--Katsuhito "Yosho" Masaki
"The carnival comes and goes. If you wait for a while,
it'll always come back to you."
--Ryoko
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com