Subject: [FFML] [Rant/Spamfic][TM mostly]The Taking of AIC
From: "Keiichi Masaki" <keiichi_masaki@hotmail.com>
Date: 9/25/1998, 3:02 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Originally posted to GenSao's on 9/11/98.

The Taking of AIC

A Tenchi-Muyo! fanfic by Keiichi Masaki

(keiichi_dono@hotmail.com, keiichi_dono@altavista.net)

Tenchi and company are the property of Pioneer and AIC.

This fic was inspired by all the bitching on the Tenchi ML over the past 
few months 
about the "poor quality" of Manatsu no Eve (whoops, I mean Daughter of 
Darkness) and 
Shin Tenchi (whoops again, I mean Tenchi in Tokyo), the anime film Otaku 
no Video, and 
the old adage (which is probably the motto of fanfic writers the world 
'round), "If you 
want something done right, do it yourself."

(Cue opening theme--"Otaking" from Otaku no Video)

	They could be seen from kilometers away.  They could be heard from 
dozens of 
kilometer away.  They made no overt signs of violence, but all in their 
path decided that 
discretion was the better part of valor and got out of the way.
	There were millions of them, some in the forms of their favorite anime 
or manga 
characters, others brave enough to retain their original identities.  
There were giant 
pandas and kawaii teenage schoolgirls in skimpy fukus and adorable pets 
of every 
conceivable type, from cabbits to hot-springs penguins.  There were 
mecha, Valkyries 
and Evangelions and Gundams and even less well-known models.  
	The guards around the building, some of whom had been military 
veterans, 
screamed and ran.  For the foe they faced, you see, was no ordinary foe, 
who can be 
disarmed by grabbing their weapons (although many in the crowd were 
armed).
	These were people whose weapons were their words and imaginations, the 
ones 
who sat at computers and poured their hearts and souls into something 
that not many 
people can understand, the ones who regarded writing as a labor of love 
instead of a 
necessary chore. 
	These were fanfic writers.
	And they had come for their revenge.
	It had started slowly, with barely-heard complaints about decaying 
quality in 
certain series.  The complaints had become better-heard as some series 
were left 
unfinished, or new products did not stand up to the expectations of the 
otaku.
	Finally, a convocation of fanfic writers was called, to discuss what 
could be done 
about the crisis.  Representatives of every major anime fandom group was 
there, from the 
influential Anime Fan Fiction Ring to the small-but-devoted Temple of 
the Teal-tressed 
Goddess, Kiyone Makibi.  For weeks the options were debated, to the 
point where it 
seemed as if all was lost.  But then some wiseass quipped, "Why don't we 
take over?"
	The entire assembly laughed at the joke, for it was a much-needed break 
of stress.  
However, some started thinking about it, and the more they thought, the 
more sense it 
made.
	You see, fanfic writers are not all college students with too much free 
time on 
their hands. Some have actual careers, and in important places.   Over 
the next few 
months, arrangements were made, and money changed hands.  And now, the 
dream of 
every fanfic writer--recognition as a professional--was at hand.
	The assembly ground to a halt in front of its objective, the 
headquarters of Anime 
International Company, or AIC.  This was the company that most fanfic 
writers had a 
beef with, and thus this was the starting point.

	In the front lines, nearest the main entrance, a young man best 
described as a 
younger, stockier Ryoji Kaji minus the stubble and plus a mustache 
hefted his 
megaphone.  By a consensus of his fellow Tenchi-Muyo! specialists (and 
due to the 
author's ego), he had been elected spokeswriter for the AIC invasion.  
Looking around 
nervously, he raised the megaphone to his lips, preparing to speak--
	--and one of the third-story windows opened, a white flag tentatively 
poking out, 
as if expecting to come under fire, before waving around frantically.
	Beside him, a 185-cm tall man with thinning blond hair relaxed.  "Wow," 
he said.  
"That was almost too easy."
	"No kidding," said the oversized and foul-smelling cabbit with an 
eyepatch and a 
backwards-turned Yankees cap.  
"To tell you the truth," commented the muscular young man who bore a 
familial 
resemblance to a certain teal-tressed goddess, "I feel almost 
disappointed."
	"I'm not," murmured the spokeswriter.  "I hadn't decided what to say."
	All the otaku around him facefaulted.

At the negotiations table, two days later

	"....we'll give you anything you want, anything!"  The CEO of AIC 
looked quite 
frantic.  The otaku negotiating team mentally decided that bringing in 
several Evas with 
them had been a good idea.
	The head negotiator for the otaku, a young man whose major mark on 
fanfic 
writing had been an uproariously hilarious spoof on a very dark anime, 
considered for a 
moment.  "We only want one thing, for all of us...."
	The CEO gulped, afraid that the ranks of writers outside would descend 
upon him 
now, to tear him limb from limb for the poor quality of the last Tenchi 
movie.
	"We want to be on your writing staff!"
	The CEO facefaulted.
	He recovered quickly.  "That's it?"
	The young man who headed the Tenchi delegation nodded.  "Who better to 
write 
anime?  For us, it's a labor of love."
	
Epilogue:

IAC (International Anime Channel, #789 on your cable box)

Mondays: Original Series (TV)
(Tenchi Universe, Ranma 1/2, Evangelion, etc.)

Tuesdays: Original Spin-offs***
(Evangelion R, Tenchi Muyo TV, Thy Inward Love, etc.)

Wednesdays: OVA Surprise*
(Tenchi-Muyo!Ryo-ohki, El-Hazard: The Magnificent World, Macross Plus, 
etc.)

Thursdays: Alternate Worlds**
(Mugen Tenchi Muyo!, Neon Exodus Evangelion, Heaven and Eternity, etc.)

Fridays: Movie Time*
(Tenchi Muyo in Love, End of Evangelion, Super Dimensional Fortress 
Macross: Do You 
Remember Love?, etc.)

Saturday: Mature Themes**
(Aikan Muyo, La Blue Girl, The Misato Chronicles, etc.)

Sunday: One-shots and Spoofs***
(Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut, Iron Roses, Inevitabilities)


(Note to guide: The titles listed above are indicative of the types of 
series that can be 
found each night, and are not the only series that can be seen that 
night.  Nearly 50% of 
all the series, movies, etc. are fanfic-based and are relatively 
accurate as far as the source 
material is concerned; the nights with asterixes are indicative of the 
number of fanfic-
based anime that night: *=10-40%, **=41-75%, and ***=76-100%.  In 
addition, many of 
the series have episodes that are much longer than the others (i.e., 
Heaven and Eternity 
#14; Mugen Tenchi Muyo! #12; just about every episode of Aikan Muyo) and 
thus qualify 
to be shown on both their series' home night and on the movie night.  If 
you have a fanfic 
that you would like to see adapted into an anime, please contact the 
Chief Adaptive 
Writer-Editor at keiichi_dono@hotmail.com. Thank you!)

(Cue closing theme--"The Lost Way of Otaku" from Otaku no Video)

Author's notes: Oh, if only this could happen.  Don't think that I'm 
unaware of the current 
financial problems in Japan right now, I am.  This is meant to be a 
joke, a fantasy.  I think 
every fanfic writer has a fantasy about their stories being made into 
real live (figuratively 
speaking, of course) anime.

Thank you to Michael "Brazil" Borgwardt, Patrick "Seion" Stewart, and 
Joe "Chi-ohki" 
McKenzie for providing me with physical descriptions--and thus inviting 
yourselves into 
the story.  For the rest of you, I asked and asked and asked, and they 
were the only ones 
who responded.  I tried to include you in as part of the masses.  

My apologies to Andrew Huang for featuring you without your permission.

This is for everyone who's ever seen a TV show or read a book and 
thought, "I could do 
better than that."

Keiichi Masaki, High Priest of the Temple 
of the Teal-tressed Goddess, Kiyone Makibi

Member of the Kiyone Ring and the Tenchi Ring

Co-writer, Mugen Tenchi Muyo!
http://members.xoom.com/RC_Books/mugen1.html

Visit my Temple of the Teal-tressed Goddess
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Palace/9909

ICQ #: 18044248

"I am the one you think I am."
--Katsuhito "Yosho" Masaki

"The carnival comes and goes. If you wait for a while,
it'll always come back to you."
--Ryoko




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