I wrote this story mostly because both series have redheads who have a 
thing for their male counterparts yet still think he is totally baka.  
Also both series have angels & conspiracies.  Please send all comments 
to mobiusklein@hotmail.com.  

The Evangelion Files-(a spin-off of small potatoes: one of the more 
humorous x-files:  it helps to know the episode)  

	"Mataku baka-bakashi no koto ni yaranakiya."  said Asuka.  "Well, nano 
hen na angel is it this time?"
	"Alien desu." Shinji said.  Shinji is sitting on a chair flipping 
through a case folder.
	"Alien, alien bakari mieru."  Asuka thinks, Aitsu, not even looking at 
what I'm wearing.  "Doshite watashi no partner Kaji ja nai no, moooo."
	"Misato's got him."  
	"Urusai.  He was supposed to be my partner.  Well, ima no case wa?"
	"Ah."  Shinji drops the case folder.  Asuka and Shinji both bend over 
at the same time and bonk their heads.
	Asuka jumps back and holds her head.  "Chikusho, iteee." screams Asuka.  
"That hurt."
	Shinji rubs his head.  "Gomen, but this case is really interesting.  
Several children were born with red eyes and blue hair in Springfield."  
Shinji pauses.  "Sukoshi, Rei mitai, neh.  All of them were born from 
women at a fertility clinic run by Dr. Ritsuko Akagi.  I can't seem to 
find any records on this doctor."
	Shinji and Asuka are walking toward the parking lot, when they take out 
both their car keys.  Asuka looks sharply at Shinji.  "We are using my 
car."
	"When you drive your red car, we always get into some sort of trouble.'
	"Well, I don't like your purple and green one.  What a strange color 
pattern.  Oh, by the way, did you pack my lunch?'
	"I didn't have time."
	"Hmph, you have lots of time.  Who would date a loser like you?  And 
that  hentai tape I found in your VCR.  I can tell you are a man with 
lots of time on his hands."
	"It wasn't mine, it was Misato's." Shinji said blushing.  
	"You were watching it together?" Asuka screams.  
	"God, you're both arguing as if you're a couple." says Skinner, passing 
by.  
	Both blush, then both shout, "It's not like that."
	Asuka ends up driving her red car as she usually does unless it's in 
the shop for the 89th time.  "Just don't argue with me and everything 
will be just fine.  Where is the fertility clinic?"	
	"2000 Gehirn way."		
	As they walk into the fertility clinic, several couples are standing 
by.  They turn to the FBI agents and say, "Does your child have blue 
hair and red eyes, too?"
	"Huh, we're not. . ."
	"We're the FBI agents here to investigate this matter." Asuka says, 
brushing Shinji aside.  "Now where is Dr. Akagi?"
	"I'm sure she'll be back shortly to explain everything,"  says Maya 
Ibuki, nurse practitioner of the clinic.  "Please wait."
	"She's done something horrendous." says one of the fathers.  "This 
child looks nothing like us."
	"I have full faith in Akagi-hakase.  Oh, here she comes now."
	Looking cool with the glare of her glasses hiding her eyes, she says, 
"I am Ritsuko Akagi.  You have been told everything that has happened.  
I have no way of explaining all of this."
	After listening to denials and accusations for half an hour, Asuka 
shrugs.  "This was the most taikutsu (boring) thing I've ever done.  I'm 
going to sleep on the vibrating hotel bed."
	Shinji goes to the beach and looks at the ocean, thinking about Rei, 
his lost sister.  The Cancer Man taunted him with hints about her 
whereabouts.  but nothing came of them.  Rei, what should I do now?
	He hears someone hum a classical song.  He turns and sees a pale, 
handsome man with white hair and red eyes sitting a rock that strangely 
resembles a bird.  He frowns, thinking this man is too much like the 
description of the children.  
	"What is your name?" shinji asks.
	"My name is Kaworu Nagisa.  You're the FBI agent who came by the 
clinic, aren't you Shinji Ikari?"
	"How do you know my name?"
	"Um, it's on your badge."
	Shinji self-consciously takes it off and puts it away.  Shoot, he 
thought.
	"I heard about all the babies born with blue hair and red eyes.  The 
local cops have already taken me in for questioning.  However, I wasn't 
in town during the conception of these children.  Also, the records of 
the clinic have no recorded visits by me."
	"However, none of these women remember sleeping with anybody except 
their husbands."
	"I don't doubt it."
	"I think you better come with me for some additional questioning."
	"Sure."
	As the local police put him away, Asuka says, "I know what happened."
	"What happened."  
	"Atarimai de sho.  He's hentai.  Tranquilizers.  He must've put it into 
their drinks.  These women's eggs were supposed to be injected with 
their own husband's sperm, but he slept with them while they were 
unconscious."
	"But these women don't look like the type to hop bars."
	"Well, what else could it be?  This case is all wrapped up.  I'll drive 
home."
	"It's strange he didn't hide from me.  It's all too convenient."
	"Well, lets see what they have for food in this town.  I'm really 
hungry."
	The next morning, Shinji was awakened by Asuka screaming that the 
shower was cold.  Then the phone rang and he picked up the phone.  
"Who's there?  What do you mean he escaped?"
	Before she could get into a tantrum over the shower, she says, "What?"
	"The deputy sheriff said that man ran off looking just like him.  
Somehow he fooled the entire police department by walking out looking 
like the deputy.  He'd tied up the man and walked off with his clothes."
	"I bet the deputy sheriff is an alcoholic or drug addict."
	"This is serious."
	"Yeah, seriously stupid." says Asuka.  "Now we have to go look for that 
man.  I'm hungry.  All the food in this town was really mazuiii."
	They go to his house.  Shinji said, "Well, he's probably not here.  He 
could be anywhere by now."
	Asuka blows off the doorknob with her gun.  "There we go.  I'll go in 
first."
	Asuka looks around.  "I'll take this floor.  You go upstairs."
	"Are you sure it's a good idea?"
	"Just do it."
	Asuka starts to walk down the basement while Shinji starts looking 
upstairs.  Shinji is walking around in Kaworu's bedroom.  There's not 
much.  Just a tidy bed.  He opens the closet door and no one is in 
there, just some clothes.  He notices a picture frame near the bed.  He 
gasps.  It's a picture of Rei and Cigarette Smoking Man.  But they seems 
to have been taken recently as Rei appears to be just as grown up as he 
is.  Rei still has the blue hair and red eyes.  She is flashing one of 
her rare smiles.  He takes it out of its frame and puts it in his 
pocket.
	He hears, "Tasukete!  Help!  Help!"
	"Asuka!"  He runs down the stairs.  He looks all over the house, then 
goes into the basement, nearly bumping into Asuka.  "Are you OK?"
	"I'm fine.  The guy just jumped out and surprised me.  He ran out the 
basement exit.  For a second, I thought he was you until I saw he was 
wearing different clothes.  They were right about what they said about 
him.  He can change appearances."
	"So, he could be anywhere.  We can't even put out a description of 
him."
	They leave the house.  
	An hour later, Asuka wakes up to find herself wearing only her 
underwear in a small compartment in the basement of the house.  "I can't 
walk out of here naked!  Dareka tasukete!"	
	On the way home, the fake Asuka is quiet.  Shinji says, "You're not 
hurt, are you?"
	"No."
	"Gomen."
	"Why do you say you're sorry?  It's not your fault."
	"I didn't get the guy who attacked you."
	"Don't worry about it.  I'm fine."
	"You don't have to say you're fine, if you're not."
	"I'm fine."
	This is strange, he thought.  She hasn't called me baka-Shinji all the 
way back home and she's letting me drive.  She must really be upset.  
	They're inside Skinner's office.  
	Skinner reads the reports.  "Asuka."
	"Hai, hai."
	"You spelled bureau wrong three times.  It doesn't end with an 'o.'"
	"Asuka!" says Shinji.
	"Stupid spell check," she sniffs.
	"So, basically, this guy is a master of disguise and can't be found," 
Skinner says.
	"Yes." says Shinji.  "I don't know how we can find him now."	
	"It turns out that he's related to, but not the father of the 
children."
	"That's what the test results say, anyway."  	
	"This isn't a very satisfactory report."
	"Gomen."
	Outside the office, the fake Asuka asks him, "Sah, what are your plans 
for tonight?"
	"Oh, I was thinking of playing the cello, listening to some music."
	"Is that it? Moooo."
	"Well, not everyone can have as interesting a life as you, Asuka.  
You've probably got some guy lined up for tonight."  
	"Let me drive you home."
	"I've had enough of your driving for one day."  Shinji leaves the fake 
Asuka behind.  No wonder, the fake Asuka thought, the real Asuka gets 
mad all the time.
	The fake Asuka goes home to the address on the driver's license and 
takes a look through Asuka's room.  Half the stuff in the room is torn 
up.  "My, what a bad temper Asuka has," the double ganger smiles.  She 
looks through the closet and finds a pretty red dress.  
	The fake Asuka knocks on the door, smiling cheesily at the door.  
Shinji frowns and opens the door.  "Asuka?  it's so late."
	"Well, I happened to be in the neighborhood." She holds a bottle of 
wine triumphantly.  "I also have a bottle of wine."
	"I'm not very. . ."
	"I insist.  I'm trying to be nice.  You haven't eaten,have you?"
	"No."
	"Good, I brought some dinner in a bento-box."  She unwrapped the 
package and put the two boxes on the coffee table.  
	"Asuka, daijobu?" Shinji frowns and wonders if she hasn't suffered some 
sort of brain damage.
	"Atarimai de sho.  Of course, now here's your hashi." 
	After a couple of drinks, she says, "Isn't there anything you want to 
tell me?"
	"You usually get mad when I tell you stuff.  You're always say you're 
not interested."
	"Well, you want to say something, don't you?"
	"Well, I don't know where to start.  I'm not a very interesting 
person."
	"You should have more self-respect.  People find it hard to like 
someone who doesn't like himself."
	"Well, you already know about Rei."
	"Well, tell me again."  The fake Asuka toyed with the wine glass.  
Shinji sipped a little, coughed, then sipped a little more.  His face 
was slightly flushed.  
	"I've been looking for Rei for five years now.  I'm not sure I'll ever 
find her.  My mother died when I was four.  My father sent me away to my 
teacher's house.  So, it was just me and Rei.  We were twins, but I was 
born first.  So, she's my little sister by a matter of minutes.  But 
soon after, Rei disappeared.  I had been told she died.  But I found out 
just five years ago that my father had taken her.  I haven't seen my 
father since then.  I don't really remember what he looks like.  There 
were rumors that he had something to do with my mother's death.  I've 
been looking, but all I get are teasers.  It's all very hard.  They say 
that twins have a special relationship, perhaps that's why I find it 
hard to get over her."
	"What will you do once you find her?"
	"I don't know.  Perhaps the dreams will go away."
	"What dreams?"
	"We're on a train.  It's near sunset.  She's always asking me questions 
and telling me that I can't run away from myself.  I don't know what it 
means."
	"Perhaps she's telling you that you can't use her as an excuse to run 
away from the rest of your life.  You spend all this time looking for 
her, but the rest of your life withers away as a consequence.  Even your 
obsession with these aliens you call Eva is a measure of your obsession 
with her and your father.  Are you happy, Shinji?"
	"What?"
	"Are you happy?"
	"I can't really say that I am.  I mean, I have Toji and Kensuke as 
friends.  Misato comes by sometimes with Kaji.  I like playing the cello 
and listening to music, especially classical.  But I sometimes I feel 
that work has taken over my life.  It's not something I had planned.  
I'm not sure what to do."
	"What would you do once you found her?"
	"Well, I'd ask her how she's been.  I'd ask her about father.  Perhaps 
I could meet her family."
	"That reunion might not be as happy as you want."
	"Probably."
	"When are you most happy?"
	"Um, well, I guess I'm happiest right now.  It's so nice to talk like 
this."  Shinji laughs a little.  "We should drink wine together more 
often.  It's nice.  I get to see another side of you.  I just like this.  
I'm not used to this, but it's really nice."
	"What other side?"
	"A side that's sweet and thoughtful.  Oh, I'm not used to drinking 
wine."  
	"What exactly is our relationship?"
	"Well, we work together.  I count you as one of my friends even though 
you yell at me all the time."  Woah, wine really loosens the tongue, he 
thought.	
	The fake Asuka goes up to Shinji, and says, "Do you think we'd be more 
than friends?"
	Shinji chokes on the wine he has in his mouth.  "What do you mean?"
	"Well, what's stopping us?"
	"You . . . me?" 
	"Don't be so baka.  I mean, don't you want to be one, body and soul?  
It would feel totemo, totemo kimochi iiiiii.  I'm only going to ask you 
once."
	Shinji flushes.  "Ah, what?  What about kaji-kun?"  
	"What about him?" The fake Asuka leans over and is about to kiss him.  
	The door swings open and the real Asuka comes bursting in, gun in hand.  
Shinji looks at the door as does the fake Asuka.  The fake Asuka sighs.    
	The real Asuka's eyes have turned red and she yells, "Hentaime." then 
came the Inevitable.
	"Anta, dai kirai!  I hate you!  Kirai, kirai!" 

	Later at the prison, Shinji is standing on the opposite side of a glass 
window.  Kaworu Nagisa is sitting on the opposite side, smiling.  "Why, 
why did you do it?  I don't understand you."
	"Because I like you.  Asuka isn't here?"
	"No, she's still mad and screaming how much she hates you.  She must 
think I'm truly baka-Shinji for in not recognizing the fake from the 
real.  You've really got me into a lot of trouble"
	"I'm sorry.  You know she really does like you."
	"Then why does she always bring up Kaji-kun?"
	"Well, humans are always putting up barriers in their minds that keep 
them from being happy.  Asuka likes you, but considers you beneath her 
or more specifically her dream image of Mr. Ryoji.  This continuing 
ambivalence is part of what makes her unhappy.  If she only decides 
either one way or the other what to do, she could be less frustrated.  
There are other problems with her but I won't go into them at this time.  
Humans should be more honest about what they want and how they feel."
	"Soka."
	"You like Asuka, don't you?"
	"Eh?  I. . . yes."
	"You must let go of Rei.  Rei has become less of a person than an 
image, an ideal for you to fight for.  Often, people sacrifice other 
people for ideals.  That's wrong."
	"How is prison?"
	"It's OK.  I've been given something called LCL to keep me from 
morphing."
	"Why were there all those children born with blue hair and red eyes?  
And why was there this picture in your room?"  Shinji shows a picture he 
found in his room.
	"It's part of the Instrumentality Project."
	"Seele."  Shinji makes a gasp.  "Does it have anything to do with my 
father and Rei?"
	"It has everything to do with them."
	"Is she alive?"
	"Yes, she is."
	"Does Cigarette-Smoking Man know of this?"
	"Lets just say he knows as much as your father.  Those children are 
meant for something grander."
	"Why are you telling me this?"
	"Because you deserve the truth and the cameras hasn't been picking up 
any part of this conversation."
	"Are you an alien?"
	Kaworu laughs.  "No, I'm an angel." 
	Strains of music play in the air.  Shinji thought, Is this Brahms or 
Handel?  Suddenly, there's an explosion and Kaworu was gone.

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