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Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1998 03:04:23 -0400
From: Matthew Campbell <mgcampb@CLEMSON.EDU>
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To: Philip Hacker <prohackr@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: [FFML] [fanfic] [R 1/2] [FKC] Akane-chan Change chapter 1,
2nd draft
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Philip Hacker wrote:
Ranma, of course, saw her coming long before he could connect. She
leaped over Akane's head and landed softly behind her. Just as she
reached out to tag her one last time on the back of her head, she
jerked
her elbow backwards to strike her solidly in the stomach. Ranma
gasped
as the blow connected.
Even with the extra concentration techniques.... I dunno. Ranma is
_so_ much better than Akane. It's difficult to believe she could
catch
him like that. Any reason behind it?
Well, in the canon, Ranma only touched Akane at the end. Here it's
for
real, with Ranma getting in a dozen hits, so I decided to let Akane
get
in just one hit.
So why is he geting in hits now? See, I like it better when Ranma was
fighting Futaba. It was different, it was fresh, and the fight scene
made more sense.
The point I think David Johnston was trying to make before is that
Futaba is the one offering Ranma friendship and emotional support, not
Akane. It doesn't matter so much who Ranma fights, it's who's _nice_
to
him.
I'll restore the Ranma/Futaba scene.
"I figured you'd have the sense not to go in when you saw the sign
was
up."
Apparently Ranma dodn't put up the sign. I'll mention that.
But then that means two people in a row forgot to put up a sign. Why
not go with Johnston's suggestion? Have Ranma be the one to run out
screaming.
Will do.
There will be more tension between Ranma and his father. Genma was
willing to go to any length to make Ranma into appropriate marriage
material. Remember how, in Ranko 1/2, Genma deliberately turned Ranko
into a boy?
I didn't find it too believable in Ranko 1/2, either. (You notice the
author of that fic doesn't _seem_ to be heading for a Ranko/Akane
matchup.)
Okay; it will be a matter of honor as well. Genma will have made the
promise while drunk, and so one of the driving forces is that he doesn't
want to lose face with Soun.
Something to think about. It'll be easier to have Ranma fall for
Akane
if he starts thinking of Akane as a girl with a curse.
That's an idea, especially if I keep the Dr. Tofu subplot so that we
see
that Akane would really rather be normal and all of her hatred is
just
sour grapes.
Maybe you should introduce a nice Shimeru boy as a rival for Akane's
hand. Since this Kasumi is vocally against a marriage with an
outsider,
she might try to arrange a "tribal" marriage for Akane. Someone who
could present a serious threat to Akane's heart.
That's another good thought. After all, Ryouga is not going to pursue
her once P-chan finds out. I'll probably have Ryouga "arrange" to
"discover" the Shimeru trait once he knows, then have him forced to keep
it a secret. Plus, it will be more to taunt Ranma with. ("Marrying a
girl who turns into a man, Saotome. Gee, and here I thought *you* were
supposed to be a man...")
He'd kick all their asses. Unless you've seriously decided to
downgrade
Ranma's fighting abilities.
This is why I made it everyone at once. I don't think that Ranma,
even
when enraged, is going to pound bystanders.
If they grab him, they're no longer bystanders. Futaba and Soun are
fighters, and Nabiki might as well be a fighter, for all Ranma knows.
Okay. I'll make it literally everyone. That should mahe it more
reasonable.
"There's no way I'm marrying some pervert!"
"Who're you calling a pervert?!" Ranma demanded. "You're the
freaks!"
Actually.... where _did_ the pervert crack come from? It just seems
to
fly out of nowhere. Akane has no reason to start thinking
"pervert".
Okay. Any suggestions for an argument-opener, anyone?
Have Ranma start it?
Check.
See, this is where he could start to feel sorry for her. Though
this
objection is the very heart of your entire proposed series. You're
going to have to do some major story stuff to get around this.
This is just Ranma's initial reaction. He'll start to feel sorry for
Akane by the Dr. Tofu story.
So, does the good doctor know?
Dr. Tofu and principal Kunou know. I decided to have
Kunou-kouckou-sensei present at the start of the series in order to give
him some of principal Hirouin's traits. For example, Kunou-sensei's
version of "Seigi no Mitaka" is "Captain Coconut", who foghts a
never-ending battle for truth, justice, and the Japanese way.
Kunou-sensei will still be rule-crazy to some degree ("For saving you,
you gotta let me cut your hair, bruddah...")
This always bothered me a bit in the original series as well. Ranma
has
announced he's leaving. Ranma is totally serious about it, he's on
his
way out the door. Then Akane hits him with a table and suddenly
he's
staying? What's up with that?
True, Takahashi never saw fit to explain it. However, you've
provided
Ranma a much stronger motivation that she every did. An explanation
of
why Ranma hasn't already left is in order.
I could use some suggestions here. How can I integrate Ranma's
reaction
to finding out that he will be a mother with him sticking around?
Maybe he needs a home base to stay at while he tries to get enough
money
to go back to China? Of course, Ranma is always going to "go back to
China just as soon as I get a few more yen." And Nabiki is always
there to take it away.
That might work early on until he actually decides to stay.
Will Ukyou elicit the sigh of, "Oh, not another one!"
another what?
Another sex-changing freak. Ranma poured hot water the first time.
Now
he'll have to do even _more_ tests.
If Ukyou's a boy-turned-girl, she'll have to calm down. Genma will
arrive to explain things before this.
Here's a cool idea. What if Akane can't decide? She's always
picking
a
new name every week, deciding it doesn't 'sound right' and then
discarding it for a new name. Her family is heartily sick of it.
Great idea, but Akane-kun needs a public alias so that he can attend
classes as a male. What do "his" classmates call him. Please remember
that the male Akane is a permanant rather than a transient character,
and will be seen often by the same people.
So? "He" tells people to call him something different everytime. It
isn't any stranger than Martial Arts Rythmic Gynmastics. Just another
bit of Nerima weirdness.
"That kid with all the names is back."
Okay, although the surname is still Tendou, so everyone but Kunou will
just refer to him as "Akane's brother".
Hey, don't keep Ranma's curse a secret too long. Lots of alterniverse
writers do that for some reason. Me, I think it's more fun when the
entire school knows.
Ah, but doing that and still keeping the Shimeru trait a secret...
Everyone will find out the same time that they do in the canon: when
Cologne uses the Neko-jitsu.
I still think that Ranma would like the idea of marrying another guy
who
turns into a girl more repulsive than marrying a girl who turns into
a
guy.
Maybe so. That's not really the point, though. The point is that
Futaba is now filling the role of Ranma's new best friend and
confidant. He's just naturally going to go out and do stuff with his
new bud. Futaba is trying his best to have a female girlfriend, so
Ranma is reassured he isn't a "freak". Futaba is even a wrestler, a
fighter of sorts. On the other hand, he's comfortably inferior so
Ranma
doesn't feel threatened in his position as top dog. Futaba knows what
it's like to deal with the weirdness that Ranma must deal with.
Face it, it's almost like Futaba was designed to be Ranma's best
friend. They have everything in common. With Futaba to confide in,
Ranma will have no reason to grow as close to Akane as he does in the
canon series.
When Ranma gets thrown out of the house by Happosai, you don't think
Futaba will bring him something warm to drink? When Ranma wants to
talk
to someone, you don't think Futaba will give a listen? Futaba can
easily fulfill all the supportive functions that Akane once filled.
Futaba probably wouldn't be a romantic interest, no.
The point is that this places Akane on exactly the same playing field
as
all of Ranma's other suitors. It makes it much more likely that he
will
actually give them a chance. Maybe Ranma won't fall in love with
Shampoo, but it's possible he'd be willing to take her on a date.
Maybe
without his heart firmly clenched in Akane's iron grip, he might give
Ukyou a second look.
All of the sudden, the battle for Ranma's heart is open rather than
foreordained. Makes him more like Tenchi, if you see what I mean.
Akane will have a foothold in Ranma's heart before Shampoo arrives (and
face it, who would be very enthusiastic about dating someone who's still
out for your blood; Ranma won't try anything serious with her until
after the whole Neko-jitsu), although it will be somewhat weaker: Ranma
will not scream "Akane is my fiance...", but he won't let go in the
skating match. BTW: The match starts as Ranma and Akane, and ends with
Ranma-chan and Akane-kun.
Does anybody have any suggestions on integrating a sex-changing Akane
with a Ranma/Akane matchup?
Have her find a cure at the end. That might do it, because Ranma is
_not_ going along with the mother thing.
How would you suggest that? In FKC it's quite simple: every Shimeru has
an extra gland that produces a hormone vital to triggering the change.
Remove the gland (much like appendectomy), and the change stops. I could
declare this impossible by saying that it would wreck havoc with her
body (immediate menopause, etc.) to remove the gland, but what else can
I use?
Phil
prohackr@hotmail.com
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