Seven Herbs & Spices
a Ranma 1/2 fanfic
     part 1: The Smell Of A Woman (is Fear)
by Gregg Sharp, metroanime@aol.com
http://members.aol.com/metroanime/main.html

insert standard disclaimer here. for continuity
purposes, assume this fits in after Vol 38, 
unless you'd prefer to put it in an earlier time
slot. hey, i'm easy...
-------------------------
	Lightning flashed in that dramatic
fashion that lightning flashes when a mad
scientist is working on her latest project.

	Yes, I said HER project. She'd
argue the Mad part certainly, and her
scientific credentials were dubious at
best. Even she would have to admit 
that "wildly eccentric gymnast and
botanist" lacked the panache of "mad
scientist" and besides, the term of
"mad scientist" is certainly easier to 
roll off the tongue.

	Kodachi Kuno hummed a
little ditty to herself(1) while she used
a Mandarin/Japanese dictionary to 
translate this wonderful recipe into
reality.

	The book that the recipe
was described in, as well as the various
special herbs and spices in the box, had
been part of a deal made with a certain
devil. A short devil with a panty fetish,
but better the devil you know that can
be bought off with a few dozen bits of
lingerie than anything Hikaru Gosunkugi
could summon up...(2)

	For one thing, Happosai was
more reliable.

	After flipping through the 
pages of a cookbook titled "Amazon
Alchemy Primer: 101 Forbidden Ways
To Alter Minds, Bodies, And Opinions"
the Black Rose had decided on trying
out just one of the recipes.(She'd made
photocopies of the whole thing and 
asked Sasuke to hide it in a safe place,
just in case that old ghoul somehow
traced the book here.)

	Now for "Bridal Spice"(3) -
said to be the most powerful lust
potion known to Amazon lore! 
Kodachi smiled. Ranma was...shy
and couldn't overcome his awe at
her overpowering beauty and grace.
This sounded just like what was
required for him to overcome those
understandable but inconvenient
qualities in order to approach her.

	Wiping a drop of sweat
away from her forehead, Kodachi (4)
paid great attention to the translation
of each part of the recipe, noting the
way puffs of smoke changed colors
as she added each ingredient.

	This was Chemistry and,
unlike Akane Tendo, Kodachi was
very careful about how she changed
ingredients in a given recipe. It was
a pity that she was reading the 
dictionary when a drop of her own
sweat struck the mixture, resulting
in a plaid cloud of steam that almost
immediately dissipated.(5)

	"Stir for five minutes,
then add a crocodile tear before 
the mix hardens." Kodachi blinked.
Ah, Midorigame! The fates were
smiling on her. How perfect.
---------------------------------	
	"Akane, don't be like
that...uh oh." Ranma's eyes caught the 
bouquet of black roses lying in his
room.

	"WHAT?" Akane glanced
in, saw the roses, and came to a 
completely different conclusion. "Oh,
so you invited Kodachi over, YOU
PERVERT!"

	Ranma grabbed the roses,
and knowing he wouldn't be able to
get past Akane, tried to throw them
out the window. Unfortunately, there
was an explosion of some gas just as
they left his arms.

	"What's going on?" Nabiki
stepped up next to her sister just in 
time to see the roses get tossed. "Tsk,
Ranma, did Kodachi leave a little present
behind?"

	Ranma was so busy coughing
that he didn't react to the taunt. 

	"This wouldn't happen if
you didn't lead her on, Ranma," Akane
huffed. "This is all YOUR fault."

	Ranma felt the dizziness 
recede and looked up at the two 
sisters in the doorway.

	Both Nabiki and Akane
started immediately looking for cats,
that was the only time they'd ever
seen Ranma react like THAT.

	Backing away from the
two, eyes wild, face pale, Ranma 
was quite obviously terrified.

	"Ranma, what's wrong?"

	"STAY AWAY!" Ranma
bumped up against the wall, staring
at...them. They'd hurt him soon, he
knew it. Hadtogetawayhadtoget
awaymustrunawaymustrunaway.

	"Ranma, you jerk, what
kind of game..." Akane started 
forward.

	Ranma didn't wait. He
went THROUGH the window, 
landing in the yard outside, and
continued to run, leaping over the
compound wall, reaching the
street, and continuing to run as
if the hounds of hell were 
pursuing him.

	Akane, certain this
was some stupid prank, was in
pursuit, a shinnai (7) in her hands
to use to convince him that he
should act more mature and
responsible.(8)

	Nabiki looked at the roses,
came to a conclusion, and called the
Nekohanten for a quick order of ramen,
oh and by the way did anyone happen
to know about some sort of terror spice?

	Cologne was there within five
minutes.(9)


(1)="Funeral March Of A Marionette,"
Alfred Hitchcock's theme music.
(2)=Crazy is not equal to stupid.
(3)=Name of drug and general effects
from "Mirrors Multiplied" - which 
has a number of ROTFL scenes for
those unfamiliar with it. check the
RAAC archive for a copy. The idea
of Bridal Spice itself seems so natural
that it has been included here.
(4)=getting away from the stereotypical
Shampoo drugs Ranma story, who is
even more likely to drug Ranma than
Shampoo? Hmmm, gee, what a difficult
choice to make.(6)
(5)= yes, i know, somewhere a black cat
saw this and was giggling.
(6)= i know, i know, but by the end of the
manga Akane was getting the hang of 
cooking, though personally i think Ranma
should have become the CupStar Ramen
spokesman as much of their product as
he's going to have to rely on.
(7)= HAH! Gotcha. you thought i was
gonna say mallet, didn't you?
(8)=pot is speaking to kettle about their
comparitive level of light reflectivity.
(9)=she had two deliveries to make on
the way and delivered an impassioned
speech to a women's group about the
importance of traditional values. 
Amazon values, of course.

this is a teaser. the story is planned
to take seven chapters.
1: The Scent Of A Woman (Is Fear)
2: The Thin Line Between Fear & Hate
3: I Feel Pretty
4: Can't Say No
5: What Do You Do With A Dead Ranma?
6: Night Of The Living (Emotionally) Dead
7: Gone Pon-Farr (lemon scenes, maybe lime)
     this is in my inbox now. not a part of The Bet
though if someone really wants to take it over,
i won't mind. C&C wanted on this which will
determine the priority. currently trying to get
Grand Tour & Role Paying finished.
obviously, trying a different style out here. 
oh well...