Subject: [FFML][R.5 short] Best Man
From: "Miko" <nausicaa@sprynet.com>
Date: 8/18/1998, 8:52 PM
To:

Best Man
M A Davis / Miko

 Nabiki Tendo, dressed in a formal gown of bright yellow,
stepped into the room.  Across from her stood Ranma, in a creme
tux with tails and a yellow cummerbund, looking much as he had
during his first attempted wedding.  He looked nervous, and had a
right to be.
 "Is he here yet?" Ranma asked.
 "No sign of him," Nabiki replied.  "We have to assume he
won't show."
 "Damn him!" Ranma said angrily.  "He's going to destroy
TWO weddings for me!"
 Laughter erupted from Nabiki.  "Oh, please, Ranma!" she
said.  "Don't be stupid!  How can you compare this to the disaster
of two years ago?  Ryoga's married to Akari, the Kunos are
relocated to Hawaii, the amazon bunch is back in China, and Ukyo
will be marrying Konatsu four months from now.  This wedding
may not be perfect, but you won't have rivals of every stripe
crashing it.  By comparison, having your best man go missing is a
minor problem."
 Ranma was anything but calm.  "Nabiki, I promised Akane
that everything would go smoothly this time!  What am I going to
do without a best man?"
 "Well?" Nabiki said.  "Pick someone else."
 "But who?"
 "Why can't your father step in?"
 "No!" Ranma said emphatically.  "I will not have my father
as my best man!  It's inherently lame!  It says to everyone that I
don't have any close friends!"
 "But you don't," Nabiki said.
 "Shut up!"
 "Look," Nabiki said, "you should have known Ryoga would
have trouble showing up on time...."
 "Hey!  I got his tux ready and everything!  All he had to do
was show up!"
 "Which he's not going to do," Nabiki said.  "You know it's
not on purpose.  He was grateful to have you as his best man, and
wanted to return the favor...."
 "But Akari...."
 "Akari can't keep track of her husband every minute of the
day, you know.  He wandered off three days ago while checking up
on the pigs, and she hasn't seen him since.  Look, Ranma,
hindsight's twenty-twenty, but the wedding starts in five minutes.
If you don't want your father as a Best Man, then find someone
else, quick."
 "That's not as easy as it sounds," Ranma said.  He peered
out the doorway at the gathering crowd of people, searching for a
likely suspect.  "I don't have many friends...."

***

 "Thanks for doing this," Ranma said.  "I really, really
appreciate it.  I was desperate to find a substitute Best Man."
 "Obviously," his friend replied, adjusting the cummerbund.
"Have I told you lately how pathetic you are, Ranma?  I mean,
really, I'm the best you could come up with?  You desperately need
to make more friends."
 "I've always been better at enemies than friends," Ranma
said.  "Are you ready yet?"
 "Give me a moment," the other said.  "This tux is a little
large, you know.  It wasn't ordered with me in mind."
 Finally, after some tie-adjusting and another look in the
mirror, Ranma's new Best Man turned and smiled.  "Okay, tiger,
are you ready to get married?
 Ranma nodded.  "You look good," he said.
 "Just remember the deal," the other said.  "I do this for you,
and you return the favor for me.  After all, you're not the only one
with few friends."
 "Sure," Ranma said with grimace.  Before opening the
door, he paused.  "About that deal," he said.  "I don't suppose that
you're planning on being the groom?"
 "Not a chance," Ukyo replied.  She adjusted her tux again.
"But don't worry, Ranchan, you'll make a beautiful bridesmaid!"

FINI

The idea for this little short came from a line in "The More Things
Change" by Rod M. (M Productions) which, if you haven't read it,
is an extremely funny Ranma 1/2 fan fic.  I wouldn't be surprised
to know that several others have written this sort of a scene, but I
thought it would make a fun short-short story.

Miko!

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather a scornful tone, "it
means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many
different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master -- that's
all."

(Lewis Carroll, Through The Looking-Glass)

Nausicaa@sprynet.com   Belldandy@angelic.com
Anime rpg at http://come.to/akane/
Fan Fiction at http://listen.to/bell/