Ani-Mania Inc. Productions presents

If I Could Keep Time in a Bottle:
Chapter .4: "Worse?! How Could it Possibly be Worse?!"


	Yo,
	I decided to start this thing after the wedding.  Oyaji says it�s �unmanly�
to keep a diary, but this ain�t no diary.  It�s hard to explain.  It�s just a
collection of letters to myself in the future, I guess.  Me, or whoever else
finds it.  If you�re a coroner/investigator and reading this, check the back
cover for a handy �Cause of Death = Perpetrator� index.
	I need some outlet.   I can�t really talk to Akane, since alot of this stuff
is about her.  Nabiki... well it�s never a good idea to tell Nabiki anything.
Kasumi�s a good listener though.  Of course that�s like saying the koi pond is
a good listener.  And I sure can�t go to Soun or Oyaji.  So, as usual, the
only person I have to talk to is myself.
	It was predictable really.  An exercise in shear optimism to expect things to
turn out differently.  It might have been a disaster, but I'm pretty sure that
the wedding was the most unique even in the lives of most of the guests.  
	Despite explosives, swords, and flying barrels most of the guests seemed to
take the disaster in stride.  As a matter of fact, not a single person refused
to cough up a wedding present.  Of course I don't know if that was out of
courtesy or fear of Nabiki.  I'd have to say some of both.
	After the wedding, though, things got worse, if that was possible.  Of
course, I can trace most of my problems back to the old lecher...

//////////Groovy Flashback Insert Sequence\\\\\\\\\\

	Ranma was getting ready to marry Akane.  The evening was planned to the last
detail.  So far, nothing out of place had happened.  
	'Of course the night is young,' thought Ranma.  He mentally kicked himself
for being so negative.  'Come on,' he kidded himself, 'What could go wrong.'
	Just then, Genma ran past, followed by Mousse.  Genma was holding a barrel of
some kind.  'Probably stealing some of the refreshments.  I guess old habits
die hard.'
	Akane, however, is a little more worried.  "Ranma, that barrel has waters in
it from...
	Just then, a section of wall collapsed then, revealing a rather startled
looking Ryouga.  With a hearty battle cry of "Where am I now!?" he stumbled
into the dojo, sending Genma and the barrel flying.
	...Nanniichuan in it!" finished Akane, pointing at the cask.
	"What!"
	"The guide sent it as a gift for saving the springs!"
	Ryouga, realizing what was in the barrel, leaps for it as well, entering the
fight.
	"Why didn't you tell me Akane!" Ranma shouted, running after the cask and his
dad.  'Great,' he thought, 'I got a cure sitting under my nose this whole
time, and now Oyaji steals it before I can get at it... what else could go
wrong!'
	It was about that time that the explosions started.
	They were nice explosions, really.  Lots of flash and bang, with just the
right amount of hanging black smoke after them.  Mind you, a wedding is not
the sort of place ground-shaking explosions are typically found.
	That sort of thing is reserved for the honeymoon.
	"Shampoo save Ranma from Violent Pervert-girl!" shouted Shampoo, lobbing a
niku-man grenade into the dojo.
	"Don't worry, Ran-chan," shouted Ukyou, lobbing an equally explosive
okonomiyaki at Akane, "I'll save you!"  Both her and Shampoo's bombs miss,
detonating near Ranma, throwing him back.  Ukyou curses her aim, and takes
another gets ready to launch another oko-nuke'em-yaki.
	Meanwhile, Ryouga, Genma, and Mousse are still fighting over Ranma's barrel
of Nannichuan water.  'Akane is going to be furious, the wedding is in
shambles.  What else could happen'
	Somewhere, some great and powerful being was probably laughing it's keister
off, because that thought was very soon followed by the arrival of the Kunous.
	"Ranma-sama!" cries Kodachi, dressed in a black, rose patterned wedding
dress, "Never fear.  I, Kunou Kodachi, shall save you from this evil
harridan!"
	This was not good news to Shampoo and Ukyou, who were already less than
pleased.  "Get off of him, bitch!" shouted Ukyou, prepping another
okonomiyaki.
	As soon as he shakes one lunatic off, Ranma comes face to face with another.
	Kunou, wielding a real sword, and fan with 'REJECT' printed across the front,
stares down Ranma.  "Never was I consulted for permission for this farce.
Stand and fight, coward!"  with that, he leaps, slashing at Ranma, who dodges
without much trouble, inching closer to the Nanniichuan water.
	As the chaos grows, Akane gets more and more angry.  She confronts Nabiki,
shouting. "Why!  You had to know this would happen!"
	"But Akane," Nabiki said, holding up a handful of envelopes, "Think of the
gift money!"
	"You sold me out for that!" Akane cries, when she heard a definite splash
from behind her.  In Nerima, and especially in the Tendo dojo, a splash is
usually linked to one thing.
	"Osage no Onna!  How fortuitous!  You and Akane shall both be wed to me
immediately!  What say you, my goddess of mffffmlt."
	Ranma, useing the leverage of his foot in Kunou's face, launched herself at
the barrel of Jusenkyo water.
	The barrel, however, had other plans.  In the scuffle, it was thrown into the
air, spilling it's contents toward the ground.
	Suddenly a 3 foot tall hentai cruse missile blasted through the proceedings
shouting "Sake!"  
	Mousse, Genma, Ryouga, Ranma, and Happosai all lept for the barrel, but
Happosai was determined to get to his �sake� first.  "Happo-dai-karin!" he
shouts, flinging a small bomb a the group.  They all flee before they realize
that he didn�t light the fuse on the bomb.  
	"Mine!" claimed the old lecher, opening his mouth and gulping the water,
becoming doused with it in the process.
	Meanwhile, a discarded Niku-man dumpling rolled next to Happosai�s bomb, with
explosive results, knocking Mousse and Ryouga out the wall behind them, and
throwing Genma and Ranma deeper into the dojo.
	"What happened," wondered Hinako-sensei, arriving on the scene with Akane and
Ranma�s classmates, as well as a bawling Gosukugi, cradling a straw doll.  As
they were arriving, the other �guests� were leaving.
	"How could you miss!"
	"Not my fault Spatula Girl can�t hit target," Shampoo stated mater-of-factly.
	"Yeah, but it was your stupid dumplings that set of that bomb!  You could
have killed Ran-chan!"
	"Ranma-sama!  Where are you," sobbed Kodachi, looking everywhere.  "Where
have those common cattle hidden you!"
	"I still can�t believe you sold out my wedding!"
	"Yeah, but look how much money we got!"
	"Oh yeah," muttered Akane, looking around the dojo, "It might just be enough
to cover the repairs."
	"Oh my, wasn�t that exciting.  Really though, Akane, you need to make you�re
friends act more mature next time.  Someone could have gotten hurt."
	Soun was crying... specifically #572 "My daughter�s wedding was ruined by a
pair of bomb wielding fiancees and a two psychotic millionaires."
	Ranma was standing in a state of shock.  "The wedding is in ruins.  Akane
probably hates me.  Everyone is mad at someone.  I think I can officially say
that nothing else could possibly make this day any worse.
	Suddenly the air is cracked by a piercing whistle.  Genma, Soun, and Ranma,
the only ones still in the dojo, look over to see what it is.
	A rather handsome boy, probably 18 or 19, is standing in the middle of the
dojo.  A thick wad of straight blue-black hair hangs down his back to his
shoulder blades, loosely gathered into an unbraided ponytail, along with an
equally immaculate mustache of blue-black hair. He�s wearing nothing but a
sort of loincloth that seems to be made of tied together strips of cloth.
"Well, don�t just stand there, you baka!" he shouts, pointing at Genma and
Soun, "Get your Master some proper clothes!"
	"MASTER?!"
	"Happosai?!"
	"WAAAAAAAAAAAAI!" comes a shriek of joy from behind them.  The whole
assemblage jumps, looking to see what it is.
	"The Cake's okay, the cake's okay, the cake's okay.." chants Hinako-sensei,
dancing around the food table, as the other guests come in.  As Ranma, Genma
and Soun quickly escort the boy out of the party Hinako stops, and pokes at
something.  "Ano.. who brought okonomiyaki."
	*KA-BOOM*
************************

Well, what did you think.  I don�t know if this idea has been done before, so
E-mail me and tell me.  The springs are very specific, or so I always figured
seeing as how we have "Spring of Drowned Akane" and of course the ever popular
"Spring of Drowned Yeti Ridding a Bull Holding an Eel and Crane"
{Niuhuomanmaoorenniichuan.  Say that ten times fast!}.  So I figured "Spring
of Drowned _BOY_" might have some side effects for someone who was not a boy,
normally.  Any thoughts on this story would be appreciated greatly.  Email me
at AniManiacW@aol.com.

I had considered changing the story to have the water fall on Genma instead.
Anyone who thinks that might make for a better story, tell me.  As it is, I�m
going to keep this story going with Happosai youthened back to around 18 or
19.  This is only the beginning(heck, this isn't even the entire prologe), so
tell me whether this storyline is worth continuing.  

Ja ne!
Wakko Warner, Ani-Maniac

and 

The Ani-Mania Incorporated Assistant Writing Staff:

***Abrasia, Muse of Creative Artistic Motivation***
[A woman, looking mid-20ish, stands in a white toga with purple, crewcut hair,
and her weapon of choice, "The Great and Mighty Spork of
Prodding!(tm)".(Actually
It's just a giant plastic KFC spork]
Abrasia: This ain�t my fault.  I tried to talk him out of it.

***Flash D'Angello, Patron Saint of Flashy Distractions***
[30 Year old man in white robes, festooned with tinfoil propellers]
Flash: Hey... what happened to the cake?

***Glitch, my personal Gremlin****
[A bluish scaly thing with bright pink fur grins, sort of, and munches on a
floppy disk]

***Deo-Sparks, Goddess of Writers Torment***
[A tall woman, with dark-green, straight hair reaching down to her waist nods.
She
wears multicolored robes, and has matching sets of three marks up her
cheeks(like whiskers) and an inverted pyramid shape on her forehead]
Deo: Please.  I�m only a Limited License.




Check out my silly little waste of bandwidth at:
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Special thanks to Hibiki Ryouga, creative consultant.