Subject: [FFML] Stupid Crossover #4
From: "Richard Lawson" <sterman@uswest.net>
Date: 6/21/1998, 12:33 AM
To: "Fanfic Mailing List" <ffml@fanfic.com>

In the past, I've presented three stupid ideas for a crossover.  Here's the
fourth:



Ranma deftly tied the lines, then stepped back the better to let others up
the gangplank.  Why Pop thought that working on a ship would make him a
better martial artist was beyond him.  Ranma suspected it had more to do
with spending time lounging on the resort beaches than anything else.

He stepped aside as a tall man with glasses and a friendly smile approached.
"Greetings.  Are we ready to get underway?"

Ranma nodded.  "Yes, sir, if you'd just get on board."

"Don't call me sir.  My name's Tofu.  Tofu Ono."

Ranma smiled and shook his proffered hand.  "Great to meet you.  Here on
vacation?"

"Yes.  I've been teaching too long at the university without a break.  This
seemed like the ideal time."  He looked down the pier at another couple
approaching.  "Who are they?"

Ranma looked, too.  "Oh, *them*.  The Kunos."

The tall man smiled condescendingly at them.  He cocked his arm, and the
lithe woman twirling a ribbon took it.  They walked up the gangplank
together.

Tofu frowned.  "They *look* like siblings, but they act like a married
couple.  Which are they?"

Ranma shrugged.  "Dunno.  They're real rich, though, so I suppose they could
be anything they'd want to be."

Suddenly Tofu stiffened.  Ranma watched as his glasses fogged up.  "Is... is
that who I think it is?"

Ranma followed his gaze and chuckled.  "Yeah.  It is."

The woman moved down the pier with elegant grace.  She was dressed in an
expensive yet understated dress.  Her friendly smile and twinkling eyes
seemed almost out of place on her.

"Th... that's..."

"Yeah," Ranma said mischievously.  "Lead singer of a five-person band, voice
actress in several movies, star of her own cooking show, the one and only-"

"Please," she said in a pleasant voice as she approached.  "Just call me
Kasumi.  It'll be easier that way?"

"Uh, sure!"  Tofu reached out to shake Ranma's hand.  "Pleasure to meet you,
Kasumi!"

Ranma and Kasumi smiled at each other.  She turned and walked up the
gangplank.  Tofu released Ranma's hand and began to walk back down the pier
until Ranma grabbed his shoulders and pushed him in the right direction.
Tofu managed to make it on board without falling into the ocean, although
there were a couple of close calls.

The sound of running feet turned his attention back to the pier.  A young
woman was running up.  She had long black hair tied in two ponytails.  She
had to about his age, and she looked *awfully* cute.  She screeched to a
halt in front of him.  "Am..." she paused a moment to catch her breath.  "Am
I too late?"

"Nah.  Just in time.  Um, you must be..."

"Ukyo."  She smiled.  "Okonomikyaki is my specialty, be sure to stop by my
stand when the cruise is over... I'll give you one for free."

He grinned.  Free food was always good, especially with this kind of
companionship.  "Okay.   Taking a break right now?"

"Yes!"  She spread her arms wide and looked at the sky.  "It's too beautiful
a day to be spending it all inside!"

Ranma looked up, frowning slightly.  It *was* beautiful right now, but the
wind was blowing strongly, which meant the weather could change in a
moment's notice.  He decided not to spoil her mood, however.  "Great!  Just
get on board, we're leaving."

She beamed at him, then ran up the gangway.

Ranma untied it, then jumped on board.  He approached the wheel where the
Captain was standing.  The smile drained away from his face as he did.  The
Captain was a tyrant.  She came from a long line of ship captains, and was
carrying on in her family's name.  Evidently her father had had a nervous
breakdown a few years ago, and she'd worked furiously hard to assume his
position.  She was still a little unsure of herself, however, and it
manifested itself in bouts of irrational anger, usually directed at Ranma.

She glared at him.  "Are they all aboard?"

He nodded.  "Yes, Akane."

"You will call me Captain!"  She hit him over the head with a bailing pin.

Ranma growled, and vowed never to call her Captain.  "Yeah, whatever."

"Are you sure about the passengers?"  A bit of uncertainty crept into her
voice.

Ranma ticked them off with his fingers.  "The millionaire.  His wife... er,
sister... er, whatever.  The movie star.  The professor... and...," for some
reason he decided not to mention Ukyo right at the moment, "...and the
rest."

Akane nodded decisively.  "Okay!  Let's go, and make sure there are no
problems, understand?"

For some reason, the look of determination mixed with fear on her face
touched Ranma.  He smiled and lightly grasped her shoulder.  "Relax,
Skipper.  It's only a three-hour cruise."


COMING NO TIME SOON TO A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU:

RANMA'S ISLAND



Tofu adjusted his glasses.  "Ranma, I don't think that pool is a good source
of drinking water.  These native signs seem to indicate that there's a
peculiar curse associated with-"

<SPLASH!>