Subject: [FFML] [spoof chase] Slayers Reflect #5 : ...And Justice For Almost All
From: Twoflower
Date: 6/4/1998, 2:32 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

HI!  Sorry for the delay -- #5 and #6 have actually been done for awhile,
but were waiting for a friend of mine to write the lyrics to #5's songs.
(which, amazingly, match the MIDI file he found to base them on that's
on the page. :)

Comments and Questions are welcome.

-=-

                     SPOOF CHASE PRODUCTIONS
                 (http://spoof.maison-otaku.net/)
                            PRESENTS...

                        Slayers REFLECT :
                            Episode 5
                ...And Justice for Almost All

       A Slayers Fanfic Series by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne
                     (Lyrics by Lee Thompson)

     (Almost all characters copyright H. Kanzaka / R. Araizumi,
     obviously.  If I ever even considered claiming that these
     were my own characters I'd probably be thrown into a small
     cell where I'd be forced to eat my own garage kits to live.)

         --> Read the enhanced hypertext version at <--
             --> http://pixelscapes.com/slayers <--

-=-

    Gazing up at the night sky is a common hobby in humanity.  Every now
and then, after a particularly grueling day of sacking, looting and
pillaging, even the most hardened bandit needs to look up at the sky,
notice the stars for what might be the first time, and ask : what's it all
about, really?  When you get down to it?  And why is it so damn hard to
set fire to a thatch roof after a light rain?
    However, the dense forests of the countryside and the hazardous
mountain peaks and light pollution spilling out of the cities make
stargazing difficult.  Astronomers around the world, except for a
particular one in Sailoon who turns green at the mention of it, prefer the
open sea to do their work.  Out here, riding the waves, you have only the
light of stars to guide you, the skill of your navigator to keep you
steady, and the endless horizon to surround you.  It's a peace rivaled only
by a coma, and considerably more pleasant.
    Amelia rested her arms on the rim around the crow's nest, asking what
it's all about.  Up here, the wind moved fast, carrying the smell of sea
salt with it as the boat rocked gently in the waters.  She smiled.  No,
nothing could disturb her now.  It was so peaceful.
    A sharp BANG sounded from somewhere below decks, and a window was
opened; frantic coughing and black smoke puffed out of the ship.
    Amelia peered down at the mess, curious.  She saw the cabin boy -- who
she hadn't properly met yet since Zel insisted on everybody getting to bed
right away.  Amelia couldn't sleep, she was too excited.  The boy wasn't
asleep either; he opened a door and exited, waving the smoke away.  Tucking
some device under an arm, he started to scale the rope ladder leading to
the crow's nest when he spotted Amelia.
    "Oh... sorry, ma'am," he apologized.  "Can you scoot over?  I've got to
realign the Charter Box.  The fire blew it out."
    "Sure," Amelia smiled, moving off to one side.  The boy tried to climb
in and not invade Amelia's personal space, but in the cramped crow's nest,
that was an impossibility.  He decided to accept that and try to install
the portable telescope with a minimum of elbow bumping.
    "This sort of thing happens once a month," he explained, tilting the
scope upwards and peering into the viewing port.  "Steam's not an exact
science yet, and if I use too many of the compressed coals, boom.
Overheats and overloads the works."
    "What's all that mean?" Amelia asked, curiously.  "I've been wondering
how this ship works.  You said it was modified or something?  Where's the
crew?  And, um.. what's your name, exactly?"
    "Oh!  Sorry.  Name's Dayvid.  And there's no crew; the Guppy runs on
science," the boy said, looking up and smiling.  "Pure science, no magic
involved.  It's a trend I'm hoping will catch on.  Most folks don't believe
in science, you know."
    "My dad employs an astronomer, but he also does magical studies,"
Amelia said.
    "Must be rich to be able to afford that," Dayvid said.  "What's your
name again?"
    "It's Amelia," Amelia said.  "Amelia Wil Tesla Sailoon.  I--"
    "PRINCESS Amelia?" Dayvid asked, a moment of fright zipping into his
voice.  He calmed himself quickly.  "You're a member of the Sailoon royal
family and you want to go to Justivalero?"
    "Umm... yes.  It's a very important quest."
    Dayvid considered this, and shook his head.  "Must be pretty important
indeed, then.  Don't worry, you'll be safe on the Guppy."
    Amelia nodded, not exactly getting the picture, but she was distracted
by the bright shiny object Dayvid was fiddling with and neglected to ask
further.  "How does that thing work, anyway?"
    "I can use it to trace the stars and track them by positional numbers,"
Dayvid said.  "I feed those numbers into the Charter Box with my levers and
then we're back on route.  Science can be pretty powerful that way."
    "I don't think I've really used science alone for anything.  What can
it do?"
    "Plenty!  There's a lot you can do with it.  Like, this ship; I
designed and built her myself.  My mom wanted me to go to some private
school, but I was too busy doing things to take that many years off.  So, I
bought a used ship, did a ton of random jobs to raise cash, fixed it up so
I could handle the entire craft myself and went off."
    "Wow!" Amelia said, impressed.  "How old are you?"
    "Fifteen or so," Dayvid said, resuming his studying of the stars.  He
sketched out a few dots on the paper he brought with him, mapping out their
location.  "But don't get me wrong, I'm old for my age, or something.
Everybody says so."
    Smiling, Amelia rested against the railing, and looked up.  "Don't you
just love the stars?"
    "How so?" Dayvid asked, not taking his eye off the telescope's
viewfinder.
    "They're pretty," Amelia said.  "Especially out here.  They twinkle.
I've always enjoyed looking at the stars... my mother.. she used to show my
sister and I all the constellations.  There's Cassandra the Ignored, the
Two Fish, the White Stag, the Lamppost... and of course the Sorceress.  She
even knew the stories behind them, stories about heroes and heroines who
helped found the nations of the world.  Everybody says they're myths, of
course..."
    "Perfectly reasonable explanation," Dayvid agreed.  "Fantastically
dramatic stories are usually fictional."
    "Maybe, but they're still nice stories," Amelia said.  She looked up at
the Medium Fork, the third prong pointing to the Star of the Lost.  "They
say a lot about how we should live.  About justice, and love and peace...
stuff like that.  Things that are important to someone in my family's
position.  Dad tried to live up to those myths."
    "My dad ran out on us when I was six," Dayvid said, casually tossing
off the statement.  "I don't recall him being mythical in any way."
    "Oh..." Amelia said, swallowing that.  "Sorry."
    "It's no big deal.  He probably would have wanted me to be a wizard or
something like him, anyway, so it's best that he took a hike so I could get
on with my life," Dayvid said.  He pulled away from the telescope, and
detached it from the crow's nest.
    Amelia changed subjects. "What do you see when you see the stars
through that, Dayvid-san?"
    Dayvid considered the question.
    "I see a way to calibrate the Charter Box so we don't drift off
course," he suggested, shrugging.  "I'm sorry.  I'm not much of a poet, but
at least I'm honest about it."
    "Ah," Amelia said, nodding.
    The captain / cook / navigator returned to studying the stars, circling
some numbers on his worksheet.  Amelia twiddled her thumbs, watching him
examine the layout of those tiny dots.
    "Maybe you should meet Melvin," Amelia said, trying to keep up a
conversation.  "He's our astronomer.  He's very good at science stuff too,
I think.  Maybe he could help you with your Chatter Box."
    "Charter Box," Dayvid corrected, standing up and neatly folding up the
telescope.
    "What time's breakfast?" Amelia asked.  "I may be a little late.. I'm
too restless to sleep, unlike Zelgadis-san or Melvin-san."
    "Nine o'clock.  I've got a good sundial with a chiming alarm set for
it," Dayvid said.  "But I think this Melvin guy may be a bit late too, he's
been up and about for a few hours now."
    "Really?  Where?"
    "Said he had to go out for a walk," Dayvid said.  "Probably just
touring the ship or something."
    Amelia looked down at the decks.  "There's not that much to tour,
though..."
    "I try not to ask too many questions when it comes to my passengers,"
Dayvid shrugged.  "The ones that pay the most tend to want some privacy and
stuff."
    "Don't worry!  You can ask us anything," Amelia smiled.  "We're on a
quest of justice and righteousness!"
    Dayvid considered that, hefting the heavy telescope once more, which
was slipping from his grasp.  "Okay... mind if I ask you a favor?  Aligning
the gear is easier with four hands..."
    "I don't know any spells that'll give you extra arms," Amelia said.

                                    [*]

    Melvin had, in fact, gone for a walk.  First he looked at the mess
hall, checking out the sparse furnishings and kitchen.  Next he took a look
below decks, at the storage area, which was filled to the brim with
machines and schematics; a miniature factory, of sorts.  After that he took
a stroll through the barracks, confirming that Zelgadis was still sleeping,
then he found a nice secluded part of the ship and began to wander across
the span of reality and into a world which had the existence of a wisp of
air.
    The glowing blue door reopened, and Melvin stepped out, making sure to
seal the rift behind him.  Smiling, he turned and walked directly into
Zelgadis.
    "Hello," Zel said, politely.
    "Why, you gave me quite a scare," Melvin said, mocking surprise
creeping into his voice.  "Hello yourself.  I thought you were sleeping the
sleep of the dead, shall we say?"
    "You'd be surprised how few hours I actually need to get back up to
speed," Zel said, casually leaning against the wall to block Melvin's
path.  "Unlike Lina, who prefers to sleep until noon."
    "I, unfortunately, require a bit of down time myself.  Um.  So, if
you'll excuse me--"
    "What spell was that, exactly?" Zelgadis asked.
    "A trifle, a trifle."
    "Try me."
    "Well, if you must know, it was simply a gate to connect me to... my
room, back in Sailoon," Melvin replied.  "I had run out of my little pills,
and you know, ocean travel can be quite unsettling to the nerves.  Um.  I
got a refill."
    "May I see those pills?"
    "No," Melvin smiled.
    "Maybe I wasn't clear," Zelgadis said, slowly drawing his sword, the
metallic 'ching' punctuating his words.  "May I see those pills?"
    "Oh dear, my nerves," Melvin said, pretending to shake.  "You're
upsetting me greatly."
    "Let me tell you a funny story," Zelgadis said, testing the grip and
weight of his sword, a practice exercise which can be easily interpreted as
a threat.  "When I was first studying magic, I came across a form called
Image Magic.  Centuries old, quite legendary, origins unknown.  But my
teacher told me that no sorcerer will actively claim to know it, since it's
considered a lowly trick form of magic.  He also said that everybody learns
it anyway, quietly, because it's so useful and sneaky.  Very hypocritical.
Sort of like wearing an image yourself to deceive those around you, isn't
it?"
    "What an interesting ethical puzzle," Melvin smiled.  "And the point to
this tirade is?"
    "Sorcerers tolerate use of Image Magic, because of the counterbalance,"
Zel smiled.  "A little spell called 'Flow Break'.  You can cast it quietly
and remove the illusion spell over any object... or person.  If they're not
using a spell, of course, nothing happens.  I'm curious... what do you
think would happen if I, just out of sheer curiosity, cast it on you?"
    "Nothing, afraid," Melvin pointed out, highly amused.  "That little
ditty requires an equal or greater casting power to the dispelling as was
given to the original image, Chimera-san... that is, if I was
hypothetically using it.  Hypothetically."
    "That explains why nothing happened when I cast it on the day you
arrived," Zel nodded.
    "You realize, the only reason I'm playing this silly little game of
yours is to make sure you don't feel disappointed in me not living up to
your expectations, yes?" Melvin asked.  His stance was relaxed, stepping
back, looking Zelgadis over appraisingly.  "You try to be realistic,
Zel-kun, but you've got the streak of heroic drama in you.  It surfaces
every so often.  Who am I to be so rude as to deny you the satisfaction of
trying to menace me?"
    Zelgadis smiled.  "Good question.  Who are you?"
    "Does it really matter?" Melvin asked.
    "It does to Lina.  She's having me keep an eye on you.  And your
cover's as good as blown, so you might as well say."
    Melvin perked the Eyebrow of Curiosity.  "Oh?  Is that so?  Lina's
bloodhound, snooping on the trail of the mysterious stranger.  How
interesting... very well.  For Lina's curiosity, perhaps I'll bend my
standards just a tad and show you a bit of what's going on.  But you'll
have to trust me to show you."
    "I trust you as far as I could spit a rat," Zel said flatly.
    "Not far enough, afraid," Melvin said, tisk-tisking.  "You were curious
about the rift I made.  Would you like to see it for yourself?"
    "I'm not stupid," Zelgadis said.  "If you plan to lure me off to some
other place with that spell and kill me, I'm clearly not going to fall for
it."
    "If only Lina would send REASONABLE bloodhounds after me," Melvin
sighed.  "Here I am trying to be nice, too.  We'll do this the hard way."
    "We'll do it no way," Zel said, moving his sword into the ready
position.  "I want your name, not some fancy tri--"
    Zelgadis stopped moving.
    Melvin lowered the ruby-tipped staff he now was carrying.  "Much
better.  You're more compliant this way, sort of a... if you'll pardon the
pun, a stone statue?  Now..."
    He turned, and his image started to fade away... the geeky skin of
light he wore dissolving, revealing more traditional priest's robes.  The
staff tapped against the floor twice.
    "Power beyond the known powers..." the person who was not Melvin sang,
the intoning of a spell.  Power swirled at his feet, glowing an aquatic
blue.  "Deeper than the deepest mind.  Between the known worlds, vaporous
as ether, I call upon the way to that which has no entrance... let the
obstacles between what is and is not be shattered!  GIGA'S DREAM!"
    The glowing blue portal slowly opened, a line turning sideways to be a
rectangular door.
    Spell finished, Xelloss turned to face the frozen Zelgadis.  "So, shall
we view a pipe dream or two?"  His smile was wide and happy.

                                    [*]

    Zelgadis literally was nowhere.  He felt nothing, saw nothing.  He
had no body.  His mind did not float detached; it simply existed,
somehow, in a limbo.  He wasn't enjoying it.
    Then, with a rushing sense of speed, but no wind, no wind whatsoever--
    He landed on a grassy knoll, at the pausing moment of midnight.  The
stars did not rotate in the sky; he couldn't see them move under normal
circumstances regardless, but somehow, he knew they were held at this time.
    Getting to his feet quickly, he looked around for Xelloss.  "I
should've known it was you," he said, to the night air.  "You turn up like
a bad penny."
    A bad penny dropped from the sky, bouncing a few times before coming up
heads.  A copper Xelloss formed out of the disc, smiling.  "Indeed I do.
But as usual, I'm here to help you."
    "Help?" Zelgadis said, ignoring the tricks.  "Every time you show up,
things get worse.  Either you're selectively leading us down the road to
danger, or deliberately fouling things up... and once, if I have to remind
you, you practically sold Lina out to the Mazoku."
    Xelloss popped up right in Zelgadis's face, eyes all huge and cute.
"Awww, Zel-kun!  That's so mean!  Don't things always get so interesting
when I'm around, too?"
    Zelgadis crossed his arms, frowning.  "Define 'interesting'."
    "Amusing to me, of course.  Entertaining."
    "Then yes, they do."
    "And keep in mind all those times I helped you folks out," Xelloss
reminded, floating over to one side.  "I gave Lina those nice talismans she
needed to control stronger magics.  I helped you find your way to the
Hellmaster once.  And why, just tonight, I managed to save both Lina and
Gourry from being killed in their sleep.  Isn't that nice of me?  Huh?
Isn't it?"
    "You what?"
    "Poor things.  They were too snoozy-woozy to notice people attempting
to assassinate or kidnap them," Xelloss said, shaking his head in dismay.
"Fortunately for them, I've got this nice new spell."
    "Which is?" Zelgadis asked, sick of supplying straight lines.
    "Ah.  That is a secret, afraid."
    "It wasn't a request."
    Xelloss went tisk-tisk.  Smiled.  "Quite violent, aren't we?  You
couldn't handle Giga's lores, regardless, so I see no need to tell you.
Let's just say that if the Mirror Lores are as powerful as this, they'd be
quite a prize indeed."
    "In it for personal gain, I see."
    "Yes, but that's besides the point," Xelloss said.  "No reason we can't
spread the wealth.  I gave you nice people the location of Silverquick's
home, a place you had no chance of finding alone -- I help you, you help
me, see?  Silverquick locked the spell to keep Mazoku out, for some
reason.  You know what?  I think he didn't like us very much."
    "Gee, I can't think of a reason why..."
    "So, I gave you all those absurd little 'maps' with the spell on them,
then sent Melvin home and took his place so I could come with you the
moment you got back," Xelloss explained.  "And that was the grand plan.
Finis, sum total, the whole shebang.  Except, of course, I'm no actor.  I
admit that, I'm really quite humble.  Does it matter, in the end?  Of
course not!  Because regardless of WHO I am to you, I'm still one thing..."
    "Which is?" Zelgadis said, REALLY getting sick of supplying straight
lines.
    Xelloss appeared at Zel's other side, wearing identical robes to him
and identical skin pigments.  He wrapped a friendly arm over Zel's
shoulders, a friendly smile on his face.  "Your partner in this affair, of
course!  I'm your helper, your minion, your pilot, your contracted expert
system.  I'll be your tour guide slave to the stars.  We're a team!  You,
me, Lina, and the whole fat lot of them.  Just think what fun it will be!"
    Zel impolitely nudged Xelloss aside.  "No dice."
    "Awwww," Xelloss said.  He shifted back to his normal priestly robes,
and paced, thinking.  "Here I go telling you more than you really need to
know, out of the goodness of my heart--"
    "Ha!"
    "--and you're so disagreeable.  I know!  Let's ask Lina-chan for her
opinion.  How about it?"
    "Lina's leagues away."
    "Actually, we're standing in the middle of her dream," Xelloss said.
"Or what will be it.  She's just bedding down about now after a rather
exhausting little brawl in the middle of Noh Wheir, which happened to start
off on this very spot.  You see the hill over there?"
    Zelgadis turned to look, and spotted the unimpressive mound of dirt and
grass.  "What about it?"
    "Keep your eye on the hill," Xelloss smiled, positioning himself behind
Zelgadis to watch over his shoulder.  He munched from a bag of popcorn as
well.  "The fun's about to begin."

                                    [*]

    Lina hadn't been asleep for five minutes when she had her first
nightmare.
    This time around, she came prepared.  She had always been taught as a
little girl, by her sister, that dreams will go away once you realize
what's going on.  Being a smart girl, she remembered that, and decided it
was high time to apply it here.
    "You can go away now, I know it's all just a bunch of symbolic images
drudged up by my cerebral whatsimajigger," Lina said proudly.  "Thank you
for playing."
    But the midnight drenched hillside did not go away.
    "No, really, I mean it," she continued.  "It's okay.  I know, I met
'the worst within' tonight, just like my other dreams said.  It's okay, I
recognize it now, everything's fine."
    The night refused to respond.
    "HELLO?  Are you deaf?!" Lina yelled, hopping up and down, waving her
arms.  "Bring on the orange penguins and other normal dream stuff!"
    A snigger followed.
    "Quit that," Lina mumbled.
    The snigger flowed into a chuckle.  A particularly nasty little laugh,
not a laugh of amusement; a laugh that lets you know that you are the one
being laughed at.
    "Oi!  Can it!" Lina demanded, stamping her foot.  There was a crunching
sound -- she looked down out of instinct, and caught the hand mirror she
had just stepped on, her own face reflected in the dozens of shards, broken
up in jagged edges, the dead white hair staring back at her, a laughing
face --
    Grunting, Lina forced herself to look away, only to see a full length
mirror with circular corner notches, like the Oracle Mirror.  In it, the
other Lina, from that blasted world was laughing at her, a full body guffaw
that rocked the mirror's surface.
    Lina ran down the hill, hoping to escape it; she slipped between trees,
using most stealth and evasion she knew.  After a minute or two, emerging
from the forest, she looked around and spotted no mirrors.  "Well, at least
the worst is over with," she mused out loud, right when the mirror rose
from the ground in front of her to show her just how bad the worst could
possibly be.
    Because this time, it wasn't just a reflection of the other her
laughing.  It was the reason why the other her existed as she did.
Disconnected, random images flew past the silver surface, of the other Lina
running, hiding... being hunted down by laughing monsters, caught,
tormented and broken a thousand ways by beings who delighted to feed on
negative emotions--
    A fist smashed into the glass of the mirror, shattering it, only to
have another appear by her side.  Lina kicked that one, and the one that
followed, running away as more joined, unceasing, and--
    All the mirrors shattered in an instant, as the man at the bottom of
the hill raised his ruby-tipped staff, a flare of power streaking through
each mirror in turn.  The glass shards faded away, and the hill was
relatively normal again.  Lina's pulse kept racing, her breathing hard, as
she tried to calm it down.
    She turned to face her benefactor, and whatever calm she had went
bye-bye.
    "Hel-loooo, Lina!" Xelloss greeted, waving enthusiastically.
    "Again?" Lina asked.  "Why do my dreams keep having you as m...
Zelgadis?!"
    Zel sulked next to Xelloss.  "You could have stopped that nonsense at
any time," he told the priest, voice angered.  "You didn't have to sit by
while she was facing that."
    "Now now, if I made ALL your problems go away, how would you ever
learn?" Xelloss asked, bopping Zel playfully with his staff.  Zel fumed as
Xelloss turned to face Lina.  "It's me.  In the flesh, so to speak.  I
found a rather nice little spell that lets me walk dreams.  Good to see you
again, Lina-chan."
    "...huh?" Lina asked.  "What on earth are you talking about?"

                                    [*]

    Xelloss was nice enough to use his newfound powers to turn the hilltop
meeting into a pleasant day in the sun.  Lina seemed to be more comfortable
with her surroundings after that, as she explained about their trip... the
sidetracking to Noh Wheir, the attack by the former Sinister Icy Black Hand
of Death Gang, and who the white-haired girl was.  This in particular
raised some eyebrows.
    "I can understand why she hates you," Zelgadis said.  "But what is she
planning to do about it?"
    "All she said was that she was going to 'put things right'.  HER
version of right, of course," Lina reminded.  "But she didn't say how.
Probably just going to try and kill us.  We can handle that."
    "Can you?" Xelloss smiled.  "You didn't seem to be able to face up to
those dream images.  What about the real thing, Lina?  Will you have the
strength to fully overcome yourself next time?"
    "That's for me to worry about, not you," Lina said.  "New topic.
Xelloss, what are you DOING around here?"
    "Zel-kun here seems to believe I'm Shaburanigdo himself," Xelloss
yawned.  "Really, I'm just in it for the mirror lores, as you are.  I'm
simply more resourceful than the others from the convention, who are still
poking around Sailoon looking for you.  Pardon my flashy theatrics in
sneaking aboard your cast as Melvin, but as has been proven, some of your
comrades are less than happy to see ME around."
    "The minute we get back to reality, I'm tossing him off the boat,"
Zelgadis casually said.  "I don't like uninvited guests."
    "But I only know how to dog-paddle," Xelloss complained.  "You're so
mean."
    "Hold up, Zel," Lina said.  "Xelloss... well, frankly, I don't trust
you much either, but you've never COMPLETELY messed us up.  You did get us
those maps, as well.  But if you're going to come along, I want you to make
a promise to me."
    "A promise?" Xelloss asked, highly curious.  "Me?  I suppose that
depends on the promise."
    "You can come along with us," Lina said, shooting a stopping glance at
the about to protest Zelgadis.  "IF you promise to leave if I ask you to."
    For a change, this tossed Xelloss's normally nonchalant mockery out the
window.  He asked, in all seriousness, "How do you expect to enforce that
sort of a promise on me, Lina?"
    "I don't," Lina said.  "I just figured I'd take your word on it."
    "I'd sooner take the word of Rezo," Zelgadis mumbled.
    "My WORD?  My word!  What an interesting request!" Xelloss laughed out
loud.  "Lina, Lina, Lina... you never fail to amaze me.  You deliberately
phrased that to trap me into a situation I'd enjoy, didn't you?  Very
well.  I'll say yes to that promise, although you'll likely never know if
I'll hold to it or not."
    "Good enough for me," Lina nodded.  "And Zel-kun, if he tries anything
overtly funny on your end of things, toss him into the sea.  Fair's fair,
right, Xelloss?"
    "Fair's fair," the priest nodded.
    "Maybe I'll teach him the backstroke.  Just as a preventative measure,"
Zelgadis smiled unkindly.
    Lina stood up, dusting off her costume.  "Okay.  Xelloss, do me a favor
and send Zelgadis back to your boat.  Then stick around, I need to talk to
you."
    "No way," Zelgadis said.  "Me leave you alone with him?  I'd sooner--"
    "I've got his word," Lina reminded.  "I'll be fine."
    Zelgadis's skin turned a redder shade of blue-green.  "Fine.  I suppose
I'll go back to being Amelia's 'Advisor,' then."
    The blue portal opened itself again, Xelloss having started to cast the
spell under his breath once Lina asked.  Zel, seeing that nobody wanted him
around, walked off.  The portal vanished.  Lina winced, not intending for
all this to sound that harsh, but quickly turned back to the events at
hand.
    "You know..." Xelloss mused, eyes studying Lina's expression.  "You're
being unusually reasonable.  And quite serious.  I take it your little tete
a tete with the demon you could become has twisted your outlook on life
somewhat?  Tossed you into that state where you realize it's up against the
wall and you need to start acting your age?"
    "No," Lina denied.  "I'm fine.  The only reason you're staying with our
quest is because I can use you, make no mistake."
    "Allow me to be your humble tool," Xelloss said, throwing in an
extra-extravagant sweeping bow for gesture.  "How may I be of service,
Lina-san?"
    "Two things.  Show me the spell you used to enter this world without
falling asleep.  Second, I need to know--"
    "Those spells are secret, afraid."
    "I understand sea salt tastes quite lovely."
    "I don't mean to brag or to deflate Zelgadis's little ego, but I don't
think he could give me the heave-ho if he tried," Xelloss noted.
    Lina sighed.  "Look... Xelloss.. please.  This is important, okay?"
    "Hmm.  Definitely quite serious, aren't we?  Intriguing.  I'll teach
you the spell, but not right now.  I hate to disappoint you and Zelgadis
but I really do need to take leave for a short period of time... I have
things to take care of," Xelloss said, rising to leave.  "I'll contact you
later, perhaps?"
    "Hey.. hey!  We're not done here!" Lina said to the rapidly vanishing
Xelloss.  But by then it was too late, and the orange penguins had already
come out to play, Lina slipping into the deeper sleep of the dream.

                                    [*]

    Breakfast consisted of scrambled eggs, bacon, and no Xelloss.
    Zelgadis wasn't pleased with that last part.  He came back to the ship
through that dream-portal, which of course immediately vanished so he
couldn't dive back through and make sure nothing funny was going on.  Since
then, he hadn't seen hide nor hair of the annoying little priest.  Briefly,
he considered finding some way to ensure Lina was okay, since who knows
what could be going on, except A) he lacked any way to do anything about it
whatsoever, and B) Lina INSISTED she'd be 'fine', since the bastard had
given his 'word', which Zelgadis thought to be a load of 'crap'.  Given no
real options, Zel went back to bed, annoyed and restless.
    He awoke to the clattering clamor of the kitchen, starting to churn out
the day's chow.  Grumbling, he freshened up, pulled on his clothes, and
showed up in the galley where Amelia and Dayvid were busy coaxing a very
large, loud machine to cook eggs.  The comical affair, one grease fire and
two quick repair jobs later, ended up in what Zel grudgingly had to admit
was a very appetizing meal.  The orange juice and grapefruit were even
nicely chilled, through a process Dayvid called 'Re-Freezeration', although
Zelgadis suspected it was just a regenerating Shamanist ice spell that did
it.
    "Where'd Melvin go?" Amelia asked, inbetween delicately munching on
various greasy fried morning delights.
    "He said he went back to his place in Sailoon by magic to get some
pills," Zelgadis said, not entirely lying, just not telling the truth.  He
preferred not to get into that whole mess until he was fed and had a moment
to mull it over with Amelia in private.  "I'm sure we'll see him again,
unfortunately."
    "If you guys are magical enough to skip that far through space, why do
you need a boat?" Dayvid asked.  "Most wizards I know would scoff at sea
travel if they could do that."
    "We can't," Zelgadis said.  "He can."
    "That's strange, I really don't remember Melvin being very good at
magic," Amelia said, poking her eggs around with a fork.  "Best he managed
was a light spell.  Anything harder and he'd usually fumble the words..."
    "So, how long will it take to get to Justivalero?" Zelgadis asked.
    "Two more days."
    Zel paused in eating.  "What?  I thought it took a week..."
    Dayvid gave a wry li'l grin.  "A week in a NORMAL ship.  She doesn't
look like much above the water, but below the water I've got a turbine prop
with a compressed steam driven screw, complete with rotational transfer of
kinetic energy."
    "Uh.. huh," Zelgadis agreed, his hair ruffling in the breeze as that
went over his head at thirty knots.  "Perhaps we should hire you for the
second leg of our journey, too."
    "Where you headed?"
    "The Island of Ultimate Despair."
    Dayvid looked very weirdly at Zelgadis.  "First you want a trip from
Sailoon to Justivalero, then you want to go to the Island of Ultimate
Despair?  What kind of a quest is this and how much insurance do you have?"
    "I thought it was a resort island?" Amelia asked, curious.
    "It is.  More or less," Dayvid explained.  "It's a resort for people
who enjoy self abuse.  It's got all the trimmings; bloodsucking insects,
sunburns, wild man-eating animals in thick, easy to get lost in jungles,
bad room service and an active volcano.  Plus, from what I've read in my
trade journals, scientists think that the Luck Field around the place is
depolarized, and the rate of fatal accidents--"
    "Terrific," Zelgadis grumbled.  "Just like that bastard to lead us
THERE.  Now we don't have any way of getting word to Lina and changing the
meeting place."
    "Awww, Zel!  Cheer up!" Amelia smiled.  "It can't be all that bad.  And
besides, we won't be staying there long.  What could possibly go wrong?
If.... ano.. do you hear that?"
    Zelgadis finished off the last of his sausage, refusing to enjoy the
delicious meal in a stubborn sort of way.  "Hrff whaf?"
    "Very faint..." Amelia said, walking over to the open window and
listening carefully.  "Sounds like.. singing?"

                                    [*]

    Dayvid fetched a smaller telescope, gave Amelia a quick lesson on how
to align the six lenses inside, and then Zelgadis snatched it away when
Amelia announced that a big brown blur was headed this way along a blurry
ocean.
    "It's a ship," Zelgadis said, after correcting the focus.  "Brown and
gold trim."
    "Umm... what colors are on the flag?" Dayvid asked.
    "Looks like brown and gold too."
    "And what's the figurehead?"
    "Blind woman in robes carrying a set of scales."
    "Oh, great," Dayvid said, swallowing.  "Here comes that sinking
feeling."
    "Were your waffles too syrupy?" Amelia asked, not quite getting it.
    "No... sinking, as in 'Out oars for some other direction or we're going
to be sinking very shortly!'" Dayvid said, backing towards the door to the
bridge.  He turned and made for the door at a flat out dash, leaving it
hanging open as he jumped into the captain's seat, and started to spin the
wheel.  The Guppy gave a sick groan, not good at turning at these speeds,
but started to change directions.  Dayvid yanked on levers and pulled
cords, steam whistling through the air with short, sharp shrills.
    Zelgadis peered through the telescope again.  The other ship hadn't
lost any ground.  If anything, it was closer now.  Entirely too close.
Hardy sea shanty music wafted through the air for some reason.
    "I don't get it!" Amelia said, over the whine of machinery.  "What's
that ship?  Why are we running away?"
    "That's the ship of Captain Justin the Pirate Hunter, out of Port
Liberty in Justivalero!!" Dayvid shouted back.  "The self-proclaimed most
valiant and righteous man alive!"
    "Reaaally?!" Amelia asked, little stars forming in her eyes.  "That's
great!  I've gotta meet this guy!"  She charged up the steps leading to the
aft deck, and waved her arms around, trying to get the attention of the
other ship.  "Yoohoo!  Hello!  Over here!  I'm a big fan of justice, too!!"
    Dayvid went pale.  "Is she insane?!"
    "That's debatable," Zelgadis said, groaning.
    BOOM.  Zel hit the deck as a cannonball whizzed through the air over
the ship, missing completely and splashing down in the sea a short distance
away.
    Amelia was surprised.  "Hey.. they're firing at us!  But we're not
pirates!"
    Dayvid set the controls on autopilot, realizing they were useless by
this point, and stepped on deck to see what was going on.  The other ship
now was a stone's throw away, pulling up alongside the Guppy, loaded with
sailors in identical gold costumes.  A jaunty little accordion and pipe
song floated along with them.
    "What happens now?" Zelgadis asked.
    "Warning shot... we're gonna be boarded," Dayvid said, trying to remain
calm.  "We'll be okay.  They're only looking for one thing on a ship from
Sailoon, and as long as Am.. she doesn't say who she is, we'll--"
    "Hey!!" Amelia called out to the sailors.  "We're good guys over here!
I'm Amelia Wil Tesla Sailoon, champion of justice!  You don't have to do
anything violent!"
    Zelgadis smacked his forehead.
    "NOW we're in danger," Dayvid said, trying to hide behind Zelgadis
without making it look like he was hiding.  "At least they aren't
singing--"
    The entire boat broke out into song, as if on cue.

    "o/~ Evil princess from beyond the sea!
         The debt long overdue shall be paid!
         Rejoice, me hearties in tune!
         For justice shall be finally wrought
          against the maid of Sailoon! o/~"

    "...huh?" Amelia asked, gaping in surprise.  "What're you.. singing
about??"

    "o/~ Yo-ho! Yo-ho! How little does she know!
         The Briny Justice Boys are we, four'n-forty buccaneers!
         Cap'n Justin in the lead,
          an' this be when he appears! o/~"

    The hornpipe reached a nice crescendo, as a man in gleaming golden
armor jumped to a raised dais near the mast of the other ship.  He posed,
his underbite and massive, manly jaw proud, his shoulders that would give
him difficulty getting through doors resplended with a gleaming cape of
white, which fluttered in the ocean breeze just so.
    Amelia, still not quite clueing in, was impressed.  "Woooooooowww..."
    "Behold, the evil princess!" Captain Justin said, in a voice rumbling
with mighty piles 'o might.  "Amelia of Sailoon!"
    "Evil?" Amelia asked.  "Wait, wait, you have it wrong!  I'm a good
guy!  I love justice!"
    Captain Justin shook his head sadly at the lack of proper right in this
world, his sailors doing the same en suite.

    "o/~ Sad day! Sad day! A sad day on the sea!
         The age-old debt forgotten so! Avast! By heaven's light!
         First we must tell her, before we can quell her,
          in order to set things right! o/~"

    "Has Sailoon been so far gone into the darkness that they have
forgotten their transgression?" Captain Justin the Valiant asked.  "'tis a
sad day indeed, o my brothers!  Allow us to explain..."  And the music
started up again.
    "Can we just attack them now and get it over with?" Zelgadis asked
nobody in particular.

    "o/~ Yo-ho! Yo-ho! We sing of long ago!
         Avast, avast! Of times gone past, before yer lives begun,
         When Justivalero, so straight and so narrow,
          shone brighter than the sun!

         Came he, came he, a royal Sailoon lad!
         Upon our shores his ship did set, a bit o' diversion sought he.
         While there an act did he commit, so grievous,
          so grievous indeed!

         Coward! Coward! Feared penance for his deed.
         The villain fled justice, why didn't he trust us,
          to see that justice was done?
         Four'n-forty ships, their hawsers did slip,
          pursuing the mongrel scum!
         The searching soon ended,
          we ne'er apprehended the outlaw nobleman.
         Not seeking aggression with serfs or with peasants,
          a singular war was planned!

         Justice, justice! Our justice would we seek!
         A war with a peasant would be most unpleasant,
          so their leaders we would find!

         The bloodline of this princess o'errules yer defenses,
          thus justice finds its time!

         Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Surrender now for trial! o/~"

    "And so," the Captain finished, as the musical number wound to a close,
"Sailoon must make payment for this horrible act, this inhuman
transgression.  Until a Sailoon nobleman submits to justice to close this
gap between our countries, there can be no peace!  Will you submit to a
fair trial, or must we board you by force?"
    ".................." Amelia offered in her defense.
    "If you try anything like that, Magic spell + Your hull = Singing in
Terry Jones Locker," Zelgadis said.  "Do the math.  We're all sorcerers
here."
    "But I'm not--" Dayvid started, stopping with an elbow nudge to the
ribs from Zel.
    Instead of quaking in fear, Captain Justin threw back his head and
laughed most manly.  "Try your tricks, sorcerer.  I'll let you have the
first shot."
    Obviously a trap, Zelgadis thought.  But since it couldn't hurt...
    The wind whipped around Zelgadis, bending away from the normal flows of
the sea to form a sphere around him.  The power gathered into his
outstretched hands, glowing with the spirit energy of the astral plane, as
he prepared the most powerful spell in Shamanism... a little number
equivalent to the Dragon Slave in terms of power...
    "RA-TILT!!"
    A stream of white, icy wind ripped through the air... and stopped
existing five feet away from the enemy ship.  The seas rocked, both ships
bobbed like corks, but nothing else happened.
    "......" Amelia continued, still too stunned to do much.
    "Oh, I get it!" Dayvid said, on familiar ground.  "He's using dead iron
for the nails in his boat.  It's a rare metal that stops all magical
flows.  I used some in a project to make a ball-throwing weapon once--"
    "It what-- you what?!" Zelgadis asked.
    "The boy is right!" Captain Justin laughed.  "The Champions of Justice
need not fear the wicked ways of magic!  Our weapons, armor, and our vessel
of light are all guarded from you, twisted chimera!  Shaburanigdo's minions
have no power over us."
    "I am NOT a minion," Zelgadis said, slowly drawing his sword.  "And
I've got other 'tricks' too."
    The forty eight men on the other ship drew swords as well.
    "No single man can overcome the Briny Justice Boys," the captain
warned.  "Are you that eager to die, creature?"
    "...wait!" Amelia called out, jumping down to the main deck.  "Wait,
wait.. we don't need a slaughter here.  Zelgadis-san, put that away."
    "But--"
    "Now!" Amelia said, tones of leadership sneaking into her voice.
    "The princess speaks well," the Captain acknowledge.  "Since you pose
no threat to us, and our clipper has proven as fast as your strange vessel,
I will allow twenty four hours to decide... will you submit to justice, or
resist us like the cowardly Sailoon usually do?  The choice is yours.
Men?"
    Several of the sailor hoisted a huge claw, and hurled it at the Guppy;
the claw snagged a railing, connected by a cable running back to the ship.
    "To ensure you will not run," the Captain explained.  "Snap that line
and we will assume you are ready to go to battle.  Back to work, men!"

    "o/~ Justice, justice! Plot course to set things right!
         The trial soon comes, what's done is undone,
          our homeland soon will be healed!
         In justice, in fairness, we focus awareness,
          the sword of justice we wield! o/~"

    The men carried on their party, a winch increasing the distance between
the ships, giving the Guppy a little more breathing room.
    It took a few moments for everybody on its decks to say anything.
    "I could possibly use Raywing to get us all to the nearest shore when
they aren't looking tonight," Zelgadis said.
    "I can't leave my ship behind.  It's the only thing I have," Dayvid
replied.
    "Then we'll have to fight them," Zel realized, nodding.  "Magic can't
touch them, but you have plenty of science stuff on here.  Can you make a
weapon we can use against them in time?"
    "I've done it before, I think I could make something similar, but
larger," Dayvid said. "Maybe a cannon of some kind, with a rotating screw
for a projectile--"
    "We can't do that!!" Amelia blurted out, sounding frustrated.  "If we
sink their ship, we're no better than.. it's not the right thing to do, not
at all!  We won't kill them!"
    "Amelia, as your advisor, I'd suggest--"
    "I don't want any advice!" Amelia said, stomping her foot.  "I'm
supposed to know what's right and just to do in the first place, remember?
I'm Amelia Wil Tesla Sailoon, champion of justice!  It's my life!"
    She turned in a huff, and ran back below decks, as fast as her little
feet could carry her.

                                    [*]

    Amelia was raised from day one to be what she had become.  Her father
was the sort of person who would often go off into the countryside, In Cog
Nee To as Lina had put it, to have adventures and right wrongs.  Her mother
was a learned scholar of white magic, a teacher for dozens in Sailoon.  Even
her sister Gracia was an excellent study at white magic and destined to be
a champion of justice, until she ran off after mother's death.  But Amelia,
Amelia stayed on to learn all she could, so she one day could be as great
as her father.  To do Sailoon proud, to make the world a better place.
    But the problem was that although Amelia's immediate family radiated
goodness and tried to be the best they could be... she had to be honest.
With the thankful exception of the king, nobody else in the Sailoon royalty
was really interested in morality, ethics, or even law.  Her father had a
few assassination attempts from his brothers, all of which failed, although
one had managed to...
    Regardless, that's why Captain Justin's claims that one of her
ancestors had wronged his country didn't surprise Amelia.  She was hoping
she could turn around the image that most Sailoon nobles were backstabbing
gluttonous maniacs -- her dad had once said to her that she would have to
sacrifice her body to justice to do this, to be the ultimate shining
example of Sailoon's pride.
    And yet...
    And yet she didn't want to go to jail for this charge.
    What a selfish thing!  If she upheld that justice she truly adored, she
would put her faith in it and... but the quest, the quest was very
important.  She didn't want to let Lina down by leaving the group.
Assuming that she wasn't acquitted.  But why should she have to stand for
something she didn't do?  True, law in Sailoon even passed untried crimes
down the family tree, but that rarely happened, and... but if Amelia was to
resist this, wouldn't she be a hypocrite, trying to bring the right way to
live to others while she runs when she should... but if she DID try to
submit to justice, and was found guilty... well, it would be better for
Sailoon since Justivalero would be satisfied at last, but.. but she didn't
want to go to jail, or... or...
    Mother would have an easier time figuring this out, Amelia thought
sadly.  Here she was, locked in her cabin on the Guppy to think this out,
and had just run around in circles for hours.  She had to ignore when
Zelgadis came knocking, so she could try to concentrate.
    "Amelia, come on out of there," Zel had pleaded in his usual distanced,
doesn't-really-care tone.  His voice was muffled through the thick wooden
door to Amelia's cabin.  "Dayvid's got some ideas of what we can do to
escape these loons.  You know, I am technically your Advisor.  But you're
not taking any of my advice."
    How could she, though?  Zelgadis didn't see this in terms of right and
wrong, just in terms of convenience.  He dismissed Captain Justin's claims
as ridiculous and plotted to get away from what he saw as an obvious
enemy.  Of course, maybe he was right, and Amelia was daft to take this as
seriously as she was.  Captain Justin didn't seem to have any official
authority to him, no credentials that he really was part of Justivalero's
legal system.  But... if that was all there was to it, Amelia would have to
blame herself for bringing justice outside Sailoon's official systems as
she did.  Maybe she was to blame.  Or was she?  Or...
    Circles, she thought again.  Running in circles.  Just make the
decision.  What FEELS right?
    Amelia looked out the large porthole in her room, at the ship full of
singing sailors across the way.

                                    [*]

    Across the span of space and time, through a barrier whose very
existence was an affront to sanity, stretching wide from nowhere to
nowhere, Xelloss was busy putting together a jigsaw puzzle.
    Literally.
    Although he technically had no fixed home, and the city of his origin
burned to the ground centuries ago, he did have his own little pocket of
reality he liked to consider a good rest stop.  Here, he had a few
refreshments, a small stock of magical goodies he had looted over the
years, and a number of books and puzzles to play with while he waited.
Waited, because his mistress liked to test his patience; he always kept to
the appointed checking-in times with his lord and owner, but she liked to
let him dangle before finally making her appearance.  Xelloss, being a
dependable and patient sort, simply killed the time with the efficiency of
a razor sharp knife.
    The last time his mistress had given him any orders was ten years ago.
He checked in with her every month, usually just to tell her what he had
been up to; despite myths, the Mazoku demon lords under Shaburanigdo were
not omniscient, nor omnipresent.  Shame he had to run out on Lina like
that, but in his own little way, he rather enjoyed leaving her twisting in
the wind.  She really had none of the patience he did for that sort of
thing, but Xelloss figured she'd learn in time...
    He felt the presence of his mistress before her actual arrival.  The
scent of Greater Beast Zellas-Metallum, of fur and cigarette smoke, a
strange combination she had picked as her signature tended to be several
seconds ahead in time of her actual being.
    Needless to say, when the being that appeared did appear Xelloss was
rather surprised.  So much so that he actually opened his eyes.
    "And you are?" he asked the figure.
    "i bring orders from your lord and keeper," the thing said, in a voice
neither male nor female.
    "Of all the time I've been under the fine employment of the Mazoku, she
has never sent anybody in her place," Xelloss said.  "Funny, that.  Meaning
either you're an intruder trying to deceive me and I'll have to blow you to
smithereens, or something is up that's quite unlike anything I've bumped
into before."
    "i am Her minion," the expressionless wisp of light said.  "i serve, i
am a tool.  i carry your orders.  If you do not hear them, She will be very
displeased."
    "I almost feel jealous.  She's never needed another underling before,"
Xelloss said.  "But carry on, by all means.  I'm rather curious now."
    The Minion gave the orders.
    Xelloss's eyes stayed open, resisting any urge to show an expression
other than mild amusement.  "Very straightforward.  Why couldn't she bring
these orders to me herself?"
    "you do not control Her, She controls you, as She controls me," Minion
replied.  "If you do not carry out your orders, She will be very--"
    "Displeased, yes, yes, I know.  Presumably I have time to do this task,
yes?  She's a large fan of taking your time and doing things properly, you
know, and Lina IS technically hundreds of miles away."
    "You have time," Minion said.  "But do not loiter.  Carry out your
function as you were made to do."
    "Yes, yes.  Say, would you like some fruit juice?  I keep some here.
Very nutritious."
    The wisp did not waver.  "i have no need of any nourishment.  i am only
a minion."
    "Thrilling," Xelloss yawned.  "Well, run along home to mother.  It
seems I have a great deal of work to do."
    Blinking out of existence, the strange being took its leave.  Xelloss
sat back in his chair, scratching his chin.  This was an unexpected
development.  It did a clean job of monkeywrenching his plans, as well.  He
realized his mistress's plans carried considerably more priority than his
own... technically, he could simply pop into Lina's dream and carry things
out as given, but that lacked a.. personal touch.  That is, if he was to do
it.
    That thought gave him considerable pause.
    He had never questioned his orders before in the slightest.  Something
certainly was up, something that was quite unlike anything he had bumped
into before.
    Xelloss left his only real home, speeding back towards the sea.
    Until he turned around, popped back into his rest stop, fetched a bow
and arrow set he had picked up from some temple of somebody or other fifty
years ago and sprinted off again.

                                    [*]

    A tight oval of footprints had formed in the dust of Dayvid's lab.
Zelgadis paced through this loop very, very tightly.
    "Stupid, childish girl," he muttered.
    "Complaining about it won't help."
    "I'm aware," Zelgadis said.  "I don't see why she's acting so weird
over this.  It's not like it's any different from some other passing maniac
we've dealt with in the past, if what you're telling me is true..."
    "Captain Justin's pretty legendary for it," Dayvid said, polishing the
lens on his latest contraption.  "I guess the royal family's forgotten, but
us sailors who have to deal with the idiot have learned the hard way; never
carry a noble into that country unless you're fast, insane, or both.
Justin has a grudge the size of Sailoon itself."
    "And that's all it's over?"
    "Yup."
    "Amelia IS aware of this, right?" Zelgadis asked.  "I mean, you told
her, yes?  You knew she was a Sailoon noble, so presumably..."
    Dayvid paused.  "Umm... okay, she said it was an important quest, so...
actually, I don't think I mentioned anything."
    "You mean she's this upset and she doesn't even know what's going on?!"
Zelgadis said.  "Great.  Wait here, I'll be right back."
    He opened the nearby door, and made his way through the Guppy's tight,
winding hallways.  He came to Amelia's door, and pounded on it.
    "Amelia!  Open up, we've got to talk!" he said.  No response, as
usual.  He hadn't wanted to do this, but... he channeled the tiniest amount
of fire through the lock of the door, tight and controlled, melting the
latch.  Then he pushed the door open to look at the distinct lack of
Amelia.
    An empty room, an open porthole.  The ship of fools in the distance.
    Of COURSE she'd have to go off and do something as dumb as this.
Zelgadis scoffed at the thought.  She ignored him all day, and right when
he had something highly important to say, she runs off.  Well, it's her
bed; she can lie in it.  He didn't HAVE to zip over there an mount a rescue
effort at twenty four to one odds.  Not at all.  She was the one who was
supposed to know what's right and just to do in the first place, remember?
    And the right and just thing wasn't to leave her defenseless in a ship
full of psychotics.
    Zelgadis stormed his way through the Guppy, back to the lab.
    "I need a rowboat, two paddles and a distraction of some kind," he
informed Dayvid.  "And I need them five minutes ago."

                                    [*]

    Captain Justin's ship was a-teeming with excitement.
    Amelia had flown over to the boat, until the anti-magic field kicked
in, and she dropped into the water; fortunately, the men were quick to
react, and fish her out of the water in a net.  True, they then immediately
bound her hands behind her back and hauled her to a makeshift courtroom
below decks, but at least they were polite about it.  More or less.  There
were a few catcalls at her and more than enough insults of 'the evil
princess' and so on.  But Amelia had decided, in the end, to put her faith
in justice; justice itself would see her through.
    The courtroom itself was filled with the Champions of Justice, complete
with the Swinging Sounds 'o Justice Pipe and Accordion Band, busy providing
background music for the affair.  But all went silent when the Captain
himself entered, in gleaming armor, ready to carry out his duty.
    Justin took his place behind the judge's podium, opposite the chair
where Amelia sat.  "Are you prepared to hear the charges?" he asked.
    "I am," Amelia said.  She swallowed down any fright she had at the
scene.  Justice would work for her, she knew it.
    "Amelia Wil Tesla Sailoon, you are charged with the following crimes,"
the Captain said, unrolling a scroll with the charges on it.
    The bottom part of the scroll kept rolling until about twenty feet of
parchment were there.
    "Uhhh..." Amelia said, a few pangs of doubt entering her mind.
    "Association with the notorious criminals, Lina Inverse, Gourry
Gabriev, the dark chimera Zelgadis Greywiers, Naga the White Serpent and
the shady character known as Xelloss!" Captain Justin started to read.
"Three years ago, you participated in the destruction of Mount Stonecircle,
and the surrounding villages, and unleashing of evil spirits bound in that
place--"
    "But that was an accident!  And we were trying to make life easier for
them by getting rid of that mountain, and--"
    "Not days before that, you participated in the murder of your own
uncle, Randy, of Sailoon!"
    "But he was trying to assassinate daddy," Amelia said.  "Look, all this
stuff is perfectly reasonable if--"
    "There's also a matter of the brutal torturing and maiming of various
bandits!"
    "They're BANDITS!"
    And so it progressed, as Captain Justin read down a laundry list of
every single questionable thing Amelia had done or participated in doing
for the last few years.  Some were just silly -- bandits!  They were just
BANDITS! -- some she cringed at, she felt kind of sorry for blowing up that
mountain and unleashing those ghosts, for instance.  But she did fix it
back up, didn't she?  Was any of this really.. well, bad, in the long run?
Some of it was, but... was she really to blame?  Maybe she was.  Maybe...
    Circles and circles, she thought, and bit her lip.  She had to be
resolute here.
    "Wait, wait," Amelia said.  "Hold on!  What about the real charge?  The
thing you attacked us over?"
    "If you interrupt again, you will be fined in contempt of the court,"
Captain Justin warned.
    "Hai... I'm sorry.  But please... what was this all about?
Originally?"
    Dramatic pause.
    "The apple," Captain Justin said, a voice as grave as the holocaust.
    "Huh?" Amelia said, not quite as grave.
    "Four hundred and fifty four years and eleven months and six days ago,
Lord Wemsleydale of Sailoon stole an apple from a merchant in our capital
city," Captain Justin said.
    "That's it??" Amelia asked.  "Ne, that's easy!  I can pay you for an
apple.  I could get you an apple, actually, Dayvid has a very interesting
cooler in the Guppy that--"
    "This is not just an apple!!" Justin said, banging his fist on the
podium, silencing Amelia.  "This is a matter of LAW AND ORDER!  The
Saileese dog refused to pay for the apple, and when accosted by guards, he
up and left the country!  Justice was not done.  And in accordance with law
in Justivalero, the unpunished crime goes down the family line, with an
additional levy for each year that nothing is done.  Until the penalty is
served and the payment made, Justivalero itself will cry out for justice!!"
    "Oh.. Well..." Amelia said.  "We don't have much money, but--"
    "The punishment for theft of any kind is to have your hand cut off,"
Captain Justin said.  "For each year unpunished, another part of the body
is added.  Compounded with all the time since the crime, we must dismember
each and every person up the family line, including you.  Do you have
anything to say in your defense?"
    "......" Amelia said, stunned.
    "Then as judge, I pass sentence, and let justice be done!"
    A rousing cheer went up among the men, a life's ambitions finally seen
through.  Swords were drawn and waved around in a hearty social sort of
way.  The band struck up a merry, triumphant tune.  Captain Justin posed
dramatically.
    One day, her father told her, you would have to sacrifice your body to
justice.
    But...
    "Wait, WAIT!" Amelia protested.  "Butchering the entire ruling family
of Sailoon because someone stole an apple?!  It's ridiculous!  This isn't
justice!  None of you are really interested in justice... it's just
VENGEANCE!"
    Nobody around her cared for her moralistic speech, nobody listened.
Captain Justin was given a ceremonial longsword by one of his men, already
drawn from its sheath, as he stepped off the podium to advance on Amelia,
presumably to carve the roast.
    Of all the things Amelia was hoping to be in life, crusader,
adventurer, heroine and princess, she had never figured on being a martyr.
    A tiny ball was dropped into the open window from outside, by a blue
hand.
    FWOOM! The room filled with smoke, flooding the air.  Sailors coughed,
the band actually missed a beat, and all Amelia could see was the
smoldering gray, choking her... hands lifted her up, moving through the
room, into what smelled like fresh air, then falling--
    Wham.  Amelia hit the rowboat four feet below her.
    Blinking to clear her eyes, Amelia glanced over at her rescuer, who was
now climbing out of the smoke-filled windows as well, climbing carefully
into the boat.
    "Shh," Zelgadis quickly commanded.  "Gotta sneak out."  He motioned
silently for Dayvid to get paddling, and the boy nodded, the tiny boat
skulking away from the pandemonium behind them.

                                    [*]

    The trio hauled the boat back aboard the Guppy, just as Captain
Justin's hardy seafolk started to clue into what was going on.  They didn't
seem happy.  Cannons were being turned in their direction.  The band was
striking up a jovial war song.

    "o/~ Mateys, mateys!  The criminal, she flees!
         The sin is repeated, and justice is unheeded!
         These days is there no one to trust?!
         We'll nail her, we'll jail her, we'll over-the-rail her!
         She must be defeated!  She must! o/~"

    "Full speed!" Amelia commanded, getting her bearings, getting to her
feet.  "We need to get out of here!"
    Zelgadis neatly severed the tow cable, knocking the hook into the
water.  "We can't go faster than them.  Don't worry, Dayvid here has a
plan."
    "I've made a large focal lens on the crow's nest," he said, pointing
up.  "I've also channeled light from the furnace in the ship with a series
of mirrors up to there.  It'll take the light and focus it so tight on
their ship's hull that it'll start to burn, and while they're sinking, we
can make a getaway!"
    "Okay, good.  NO!  Wait!" Amelia said, interrupting herself for a
change.  "We can't kill them!  It's wrong!"
    "You KNOW this is all over a stinking apple, right?" Zelgadis asked.
"Would you call that the act of sane people?  We're probably doing the
world a favor."
    Amelia paused, trying to puzzle it out.  Meanwhile, cannonballs shot
over the ship, poorly aimed.
    "We don't have TIME for this!" Zelgadis said.  "If we don't do
something, we're--"
    The burst of purple smoke and light, as well as accompanying *pouf!*
sound was just there for an amusing dramatic effect; really, he didn't need
to use any of that sort of thing.
    "Hello!" Xelloss said, having ditched his Melvin disguise once and for
all.  "I'm here to save the day and so on."
    "Xelloss?!" Amelia gaped.
    "About time," Zelgadis groaned.
    "..." Dayvid added.
    Xelloss untucked the bow and arrow set from under his arm.  "This won't
take but a minute," he said, smiling, and levitating up to the crow's
nest.  He used the lens already mounted there to get a better view of his
target, drew the arrow (which was entirely non-magical, and didn't give a
damn about dead iron), and fired--
    The arrow ZINGed! straight and true between the two ships.  It was
impossible to see where it landed, but one thing was certain :
    The accordion stopped going "o/~ bree bree oompah bree o/~" and started
going "o/~ breeeooaoaaahhhhwwwrrrrr..." then gave a sickly whine, and died.
    The men, having nothing to sing along to, stopped the assault in utter
confusion.  Aimless, despite goading from Captain Justin, they were
paralyzed.  They had lost the beat.
    "Ah," Xelloss smiled.  "NOW we can get out of here safely."

                                    [*]

    The Guppy steamed away at ridiculous velocity, Zelgadis himself opting
to shovel compressed coal into the furnace as fast as he possibly could.
Captain Justin's ship was left drifting along, musically castrated, and
eventually disappeared into the night mists.
    "I suppose I should apologize for making you think I was Melvin, but
since it was fun, I choose not to," Xelloss almost politely said to Amelia,
still smiling.  "I hope it hasn't complicated matters.  Shouldn't you be
thanking me for rescuing you fellows from a certainly tuneful demise?"
    Amelia considered that.  "Well... if you gave your word to Lina-san, I
GUESS I can let it go.  But I'm leading this expedition, so no funny stuff
anymore!  Got it?"
    "Yes'm," Xelloss said, bowing his head in mock shame.
    "You COULD.. hff..  have dropped by... hrgg... any time," Zelgadis
said, putting every muscle he had into shoveling coal.  The boat kicked up
a notch in speed, his anger fueling it as well.  "Last minute saves aren't
worth thanks!"
    "Gosh, I love you too, Zel-kun," Xelloss laughed.  "Ah, I have to
say... I never fail to enjoy myself on our little outings.  If it wasn't
for this sort of thing, the centuries would be quite dull..."
    The ancient priest looked over at the oddly silent junior captain of
the ship.
    "Something wrong?" he asked.
    "No... not much," Dayvid said.  "I'm just wondering why this is the
first time I've seen you in ten years... dad."
    Zelgadis stopped shoveling coal and almost fell into the furnace in
surprise.  "DAD?!"
    "Da.. daa..." Amelia started without finishing.
    Xelloss smiled nervously, a little sweatdrop forming on his head.
    "Umm... anybody care to save me this time?" he asked, rubbing his head
nervously before Dayvid smacked it with a coal shovel.

                              TO BE CONTINUED