I have already written an ad but then I remembered one that I wrote a
couple months back. So here it is again.
Trom
Lonely?
By
Trom
Incert standard disclaimor.
Open to a television screen.
On it we see Nabiki Tendo and a nondiscript person.
Nabiki [Hi! are you lonely?]
NDP [Sigh. Yes I am.]
Nabiki [Do know martial arts?]
NDP [I can hold my own.]
Nabiki [Thats great. Because for a limited time only you can purchace a
ticket to someone who could become the love of your life.]
NDP [What? how is that possible?!]
Nabiki [Its simple, just pick up your phone and dial ***-****-23*3, and
you can qualify to be one of a few lucky individuals who can find that
special someone.]
NDP [Does it matter what Martial Art I practice?]
Nabiki [Heck no, Martial Art Tea Ceremony, Martial Arts Take out. If its
a martial art you can qualify.]
NDP [What do I have to do?]
Nabiki [Just call the number below, and we'll set up an appointment to
test your Martial Abilities. We have some of the finest teachers
around. After that everything else will be handled for you.]
NDP [What about the Women? Are they nice looking?]
Nabiki [If thats all your looking for. Then yes. Take a look at one of
our subjects.]
Cut to scene of Shampoo doing her morning workout. Tight
clothes hugging her curves. The strength, the power, the unbriddled
lust barried beneath her lovely form.
Nabiki [Her and more like her await the man who can prove his strength
and/or cunning in battle. Only such a man could possibly win her love.
{whispers} psst, wipe the drool off.]
NDP [How much is this going to cost?]
Nabiki [How can you put a price on love? But if you call and make your
appointment now you'll save 10%. Remember thats ***-****-23*3, care of
the Tendo Dojo. Just ask for Nabiki.]
Background music playing sappy love music.
The Commertial Ends.
The Tendo Dojo: Phones are ringing all over the house.
"Hello, this the Tendo Dojo, one minute please."
"Hi You have reacted the Tendo Dojo, the doorway to happiness."
Out back we see two guys walking with Ranma.
"Alright you guys this is all you have to do to quallify for the chance
to meet the loves of your lives."
They step into the training hall, Where Akane patienly waits for the
next group.
"You have ten minutes with Akane here. If you can last that long you
passed the first test. Or if you defeat her then you also pass." He
points to one guy. "Ok your first."
The guy steps out onto the training hall floor and bows to Akane. Then
'Haaa!' 'Aaah!' As Akane whips out he Mallet of Chi. The Guy is barely
dodging the blows and has no time to strike back. This goes on for nine
minutes and forty-five seconds. A crashing can be heard as Akane is
constantly malleting the poor fellow on the floor.
"Ah to bad, well step up that training and come back again sometime."
Ranma tried to get the guys spirits up, as a stretcher is brought in to
remove him. He then turns to Yell out the door. "Hey Ucchan, your up."
Akane hangs a towel around her neck as she walks out the dojo. Ukyou
waves to her as she gets ready for the next fight.
"Ok your next." Ranma looks at a clipboard in his hand. "Hmm
says here that you have ten years in the Art." He turns and yells to
Ukyou. "Hey Ucchan, you can use your weapons for this one." The Chef
then grins and whipps out her combat spatula and bandoleer of throwing
spatulas.
To the guy. "You don't think they'll fight unarmed do you?"
Inside the dojo. Cologne and Nabiki are looking over some paperwork
while having tea.
Nabiki: "Okay that's five so far, and at 50,000 yen each for my
part, not counting the charges for using the dojo, service fees, and
medical. Yep Granny this is the best Idea I have ever had."
Cologne: "Yes it is about time new blood was added to the tribe.
This way they can be screened tested before hand. There has not enough
strong men lately."
Do you have what it takes to win yourself a bride?