Subject: [FFML] [spam][challenge] Anime Product Endorsement Spamfics!
From: "The Eternal Lost Lurker" <EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net>
Date: 5/18/1998, 11:59 AM
To:

Ever read those fics where the author makes up a silly commercial
using anime characters? Well that's what this challenge is about.

Write a silly spamfic starring any anime characters you wish, that
endorses a product. It can be a real product, or a fake product. 

The rules:

-Use as many characters as you want, but no more than three can have
dialogue.
-Use any series you want. Cross any series you want. 
-No restaurant commercials. 
-No gratuitous use of the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
-No gratuitous use of Godzilla.
-Script format is preferable to prose.
-The spamfic should be no longer than it would take to make a 30 to
45 second commercial out of it.

And now, the first challenge entry...

---------------------------------
(We see Kasumi in her kitchen. Ranma staggers in, his face twisted
into a painful grimace.)

Ranma: Kasumi, got anything for constipation?

Kasumi: Why yes, Ranma-kun! I'll get it right away.

(Kasumi walks over to a counter, while speaking to the audience.)

Kasumi: Ranma-kun is usually full of it, but sometimes when Akane
does the cooking, he can't get it out of his system. Phillips Milk of
Magnesia is good, but when he's this constipated, he needs the
strongest relief available. 

(Kasumi takes a box out of a cupboard and holds it up.)

Kasumi: That's why around here, we use Rankusol laxative tablets. The
fast-acting ingredients in Rankusol quickly and painlessly relieve
even the worst constipation in minutes. 

(Screen caption: Contains natural dragonwhisker.)

(Kasumi gives Ranma one large chewable laxative tablet.)

(Screen caption: ELAPSED TIME - 10 MINUTES)

(Cut to an exterior view of the Tendou dojo. A thick brown mass is
rapidly oozing from every window and doorway. Akane, Nabiki, Genma,
and Soun are running around the yard screaming. Kasumi stands in
front of the house, smiling brightly and holding the box of
laxative.)

Kasumi: For relief faster than the Chestnut Fist, take Rankusol. Also
available in great-tasting liquid.

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"Godzilla is attacking! What should we do?"
"Lure him to Texas."
"Right! The air there would kill anything!"
*Texas Smoke Storm 98--Nothing Will Survive*
---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
...gettin' ficcy wit' it...
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
http://www.geocities.com/~etlostlurker

"Heeere leezard, leezard, leezard..."
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(Before anyone asks, yes, Rankusol is a pun. Take off the "l" and it
literally means "wild shit".