Subject: [FFML] [FF][DNA^2] A Matter of Soul
From: Lara Bartram
Date: 4/25/1998, 1:29 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com (FFML)

	This is a quick effort because the couple makes me wonder.  Not
so much how they would ever stay together, but just what their internal
processes are like.  What really makes them tick.  This little fic
doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.

A Matter of the Soul
by Lara Bartram



	The phone rang.  He stopped himself from answering it, but he
really wanted to.  He really wanted to pick it up and talk to whatever
girl was calling him.  He really wanted to meet some pretty girl and
take her back to his place and have a cheap, meaningless one-night
stand.
	It wasn't his fault he was so desirable.  It was just part of
his DNA after all.  And what was he supposed to do about that?  And
Tomoko...  She made everything so difficult.
	Why couldn't she be just like the other girls and not make so
many demands of him?  Why couldn't she just be satisfied with a
one-night stand like the others?  Couldn't she see how difficult the
commitment was for him?
	He finally sighed and gave in.  Picking up the phone, he held
it to his ear, but did not speak.
	"Ryuuji?"
	Tomoko again.  "What do you want, Tomoko?" he asked and
regretted his voice was colder than he wanted it to be.
	She didn't speak for a moment.  "I just wanted to know that
you were doing well," she said hesitantly.
	"I am.  Is that all."  He bit back the remark about him having
a date later.  It wasn't true, and it would only serve to hurt Tomoko.
How could he be doing this?  By not hurting her, not going on any
dates, he was making himself miserable, which was making Tomoko
unhappy.
	He growled in frustration into the phone.  "What do you want,
Tomoko?"
	"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to..."
	He could hear a choked sob on the other end of the line and
cursed to himself.  "Tomoko..."
	"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to..."
	The line clicked dead in his ear.  "Damn it!" Ryuuji swore and
slammed the handset down.  Why did women have to be so... so... stupid
sometimes?
	Sighing, Ryuuji looked at the small picture of Tomoko he kept,
and had to wonder what she had to done to do this to him.

***

	Tomoko hung up the phone, barely suppressing the tears.  She
just couldn't believe how... uncaring that stupid jerk was!  Didn't he
know that she... she really cared for him?  What did she have to do to
get that through his pompous skull?
	Wiping her eyes on the back of her arm, smearing her mascara,
Tomoko decided it didn't matter.  If he wanted other women, than that
fool could have them.  Ryuuji would just never know what he was really
missing out on by being so selfish.
	Tomoko really had to sit down and face the facts.  She wanted
the attention he gave to all those other girls.  She wanted to be the
one that Ryuuji turned to, not those other girls..  She just wanted a
normal life, a normal boyfriend.
	There was a side to Ryuuji that most people didn't see.  Even
those girls, they didn't see the side of him that was dedicated and
could be so sweet and romantic.  Hell, she barely saw it anymore.
	It was starting to get to her that she no longer was of any
interest to him.  He used to keep his eye on her in a stiflingly
possessive way, and now...  Now, she was just a nuisance to him.  The
way he had talked to her over the phone was enough for her to tell
that.
	It didn't matter.  Tomoko just had to keep telling herself
that.  If Ryuuji could get any girl, she could get any guy.  She had
done it before, and she could do it again.
	But...  She wasn't interested in another guy.  Junta had been
sweet, but he hadn't been Ryuuji.  Tomoko laughed bitterly to herself.
How superficial could you get?  Ryuuji was tall and dashing, and had
the smoothest voice, one of the reasons she loved talking to him on
the phone on those lonely nights...
	But Ryuuji really wasn't a good person.  She didn't think.
The fact that he tried, or so she thought, didn't mean much, did it?
It was so easy for everyone else to have one girlfriend or boyfriend,
so why couldn't he?
	Why couldn't she be enough for him?  Why couldn't she finally
have someone for herself?

	Her phone rang.  She picked it up, wiping more tears from her
face.  "Hello?"
	"Tomoko, if you're free, would you like to go dinner with me?"
	"Yes, Ryuuji."