More slightly revised version....


				NO FAIR!
			   by Scott K. Jamison
			  (Takahashi disclaimer)
			Chapter Two:  "I'm A Man!"


	"School?"
	"Since you haven't made a choice yet, we'll be here for a while, 
won't we?  Might as well get an education while you're here."  Genma 
handed Ranma a school bag.
	"You'll be showing the ropes to Ranma at school, Akane," said 
Kasumi. 
	"Why me!?"  
	"Because you're in the same grade as Ranma, and because Nabiki 
left an hour ago.  Here's lunches for you both."
	Ranma leapt up on the fence as he followed Akane.  In addition to 
being great balance practice, it gave him a sense of height.  Which was 
something he really appreciated these days. 
	"We're not getting married," said Akane by way of making 
conversation. 
	"If you say so.  I'm not too keen on marrying anyone right now.  
Stupid promise."
	Genma ran up out of seemingly nowhere and bopped Ranma on the 
head.  "You will marry one of the Tendou sisters and you will like it!  
That's an order!"
	"Beat it, old man!"  Ranma kicked his father off the fence and 
into the canal.
	"Growf!  Snnarl!" the now-panda protested.
	"Is he always like that?" asked Akane.
	"Mostly.  `Tough love', he calls it."
	"Bummer.  Hey, could you come down from there for a while?  I'm 
getting a crick in my neck."
	"Okay."  Ranma made a running leap off the fence, intending to 
land next to Akane.  But in mid-air he was caught in a spray of water 
(thrown by a little old lady cleansing her doorstep) and his 
transformation kicked in.  He'd never had it happen in mid-motion before, 
and his balance was completely thrown off.
	He landed badly, and scraped his elbow on the pavement.  The pain 
was overwhelming, and he screamed.  Akane looked at him, shocked, and 
that made him embarrassed as well, and he began to cry. 
	"Geez, Ranma, it's just a little scrape.  What a crybaby."  That 
just deepened his depression and he wailed louder.
	"Why me?  Look, Ranma, the doctor's office is just down the 
street.  He can fix you up, okay?  Maybe you can even get a lollipop." 
	Ranma didn't know which was scarier, that Akane thought the offer 
of candy would work, or that it actually seemed to.  He was already a lot 
calmer.  "Sorry, Akane.  I didn't mean to--"
	"Oh, just come on."  She grabbed his arm and started dragging him 
towards the clinic.
		*			*			*
	The kindly-looking young doctor bent down, picked Ranma up, and 
set him on the examining table.
	"Well, young lady, let's see what the problem is.  Oh, that's a 
nasty scrape."
	Ranma wondered just why everyone he met in this form 
automatically pegged him as a girl.  Okay, the ponytail probably 
influenced them, but at this age, there just wasn't that much difference 
between boys and girls.  It was as if the spring had left the word 
"female" blazoned on his forehead or something.
	Doctor Toufuu's calm manner put Ranma at ease, and he soon had 
the scrape cleaned and bandaged.
	"There you go, Miss...?"
	"Ranma, and I'm a guy!"
	"Sure you are.  Oh, Akane!  Find that hot water you needed?"
	"Um...yes, Doctor.  Thanks for all your help."  Ranma noticed her 
voice softening, and the nervous way she swung the kettle.
	"Haha!  You know you're always welcome here."
		*			*			*
	Ranma filled out his clothes as Akane poured the teakettle's 
contents over him.  The lollipop tasted pretty good, actually. 
	"Honestly, Ranma, you're such a wimp."
	"Hey!  I just don't have much emotional control when I'm that 
way, okay?  When I'm normal, I can beat anybody!  Aren't we going to be 
late for school?"  They started running.
	"Thanks to you, yes!  How the heck did you and your father 
survive all the way back from China if that keeps happening to you?" 
	"Well, I ran into an old friend..."
		*			*			*
	Quite literally, actually.  It had been less than a day since the  
curse was inflicted, and neither Ranma nor Genma had fully realized the 
limitations of their new forms.  Thus it was that they'd both been in 
cursed form as Ranma chased his father, vowing to give him a severe 
beating. 
	Ranma had jumped, meaning to use the man standing in front of him 
as a springboard, but instead had slammed into him.  The man hadn't even 
been staggered.
	"Outta my way!  I gotta catch that panda!"
	"Are you all right, little girl?"
	"I'm not a girl!  I--"  Ranma had suddenly recognized the 
muscular boy before him.  "R-ryouga?"
	"You know my name?  I don't remember knowing any little 
red-haired girls?"
	"Ryouga you idiot!  It's me!  Ranma!"
	"Ranma?  But the only Ranma I know is the accursed Saotome!" 
	"That's me!  Ranma Saotome!  Remember, I useta get you home alla 
time? You never showed up for our duel?"
	"You were the one who wasn't there!  I--gods, it is you, isn't 
it?  What happened to you?"
	"A curse.  Don't move, just turn your head to the left.  The 
left, dummy!"  Ryouga had finally got the direction straight.  "You see 
those pools down in the valley?  Anyone who falls in one of 'em gets a 
curse.  I ended up like this and Pops turned into a panda."
	Ryouga had blanched.  "Then I was just one step away from...that.  
I wanted vengeance...but such a horrible fate..."
	"It ain't quite as bad as it looks, but yeah." 
	"uhm...Could you help me find a safe way out of here?"
		*			*			*
	Kasumi finished the vacuuming, humming a Bach cantata.  There, 
the essential morning chores were done, and she could start on the 
optional items.
	She thought of Ranma.  She really wasn't particularly interested 
in marrying him; he was everything she didn't like about younger men.  
Ranma was rude, self-centered, far too aggressive and had an extremely 
limited set of interests.  Not at all like the considerate and 
well-informed Dr. Tofu.
	But his other form...  If Kasumi understood correctly, Ranma-chan 
would age little if at all.  She would always be a little girl, needing 
someone to watch out for her, to care for her.  And with cold water so 
prevalent in the world, Ranma would be a girl much of the time.  That 
fascinated Kasumi.  Someone to mother forever...
	Kasumi decided to check in the attic.  Surely they'd saved some 
appropriate clothing...
		*			*			*
	Ranma pulled himself into the tree, a bit harder at his current 
size. 
	"Musta been Nabiki," he grumbled.  *Someone* had certainly put a 
bug in that Kunou guy's ear about the engagement.  Now everyone at school 
thought he was Akane's fiancee.  If only he'd been a little more careful 
about where he was jumping...
	Whoops, here came the bokken-swinging upperclassman now. 
	"Curse you, Saotome!  Come out and fight like a man, not the 
lily-livered coward you are!"
	Cold fury exploded in Ranma's head, and he leapt down from hiding 
without thinking.
	"I am not a coward!"  He took up an aggressive stance.
	Kunou blinked.  "Who on God's green earth are you?  But I forget 
my manners.  I am--"
	"Can the intro, bokken-brain.  Let's rumble."  With that, Ranma 
leapt at Kunou, who dodged.
	"Excuse me, little red-headed girl, but why are you attacking 
me?  Have you no care for your own safety?"
	"You call me a coward, and expect me not to attack?"
	"Come again?" as Kunou backed off some more.  "I was referring to 
Ranma Saotome, not yourself."
	"I AM RANMA!!"  He leapt up on Kunou's sword and kicked him in 
the face.  While this was quite impressive, the kendoist was used to 
blows from Akane, and Ranma's current muscles just didn't have the oomph 
for the job.
	"Most impressive for one so young.  Were you not a decade too 
young, I would date with thee.  But I must ask you to desist in your 
assault upon my person.  This takes time away from my search for--" 
	"Ranma!"  This was from Akane, who'd just arrived, teakettle in 
hand. 
	"Where?"
	"Here, dummy!"  Ranma kicked Kunou in the shin.
	"Ranma, what do you think you're doing?"
	"You mean, fair Akane Tendou, that this child is indeed named 
Ranma?  But the foul trespasser by you this morning gave his name as 
Ranma." 
	"We're the same, you idiot!"
	Kunou furrowed his brow.  "Oh, at last it comes to me.  Your 
parents named both their children Ranma!  Odd, but not unheard of." 
	Ranma fumed.  Maybe he should just pour the water over himself 
right here...
	"Something like that," interrupted Akane.  "Now, if you don't 
mind, Ranma and I need to get going." 
	"Quite right.  I will see thee on the morrow then, my sweet 
angel."  Kunou strolled off, and Ranma felt a depression falling on him. 
	"Akane, I wanna go home."
		*			*			*
	"I'm not your dolly!  Leamme alone!  I'm a man!  WAAH!" 
	In retrospect, perhaps home had been a bad idea. 
	Kasumi had met them at the door, accidentally spilling lemonade 
on Ranma and reversing the effect of the hot water.  She'd insisted on 
stripping off his now badly soaked outfit, and told him all his others 
were in the laundry.  But as long as he was small...
	The bunny panties had been bad enough, at least in theory no one 
would be seeing them, but then had come the white tights, and now Kasumi 
had him halfway into a pink little-girl dress with lace kitty patterns on 
it.  Pink *and* cats!?
	"I don't wanna wear a dress!  WAAAH!!  I'm a man!"
	"Ranma-chan...look in the mirror."  Kasumi gently turned his 
head.  "Do you look like a man?"
	"No, but--"
	"Are you acting like a man?"
	"No..."
	"Well, then, why all the fuss?  This is the only outfit I could 
find that fits you.  Tell you what, if you let me finish dressing you, 
we'll go shopping for some other clothes, okay?"
	Embarrassment warred with a desire to please Kasumi.  "Go 
out...like this?" 
	"Don't worry, Ranma-chan.  You look fine."
	He sullenly let her finish buttoning up the dress.  Then she 
untied the bit of twine that held together his ponytail, and produced a 
pink ribbon she tied into a big bow.
	"There.  Isn't that nice?  Let's see a smile now."
	Ranma forced a small smile.  He had to admit, the little girl in 
the mirror was attractive.  He just wished she wasn't him.
	The black patent leather shoes Kasumi had found to complete the 
outfit were a touch tight, and Ranma wobbled a little as Kasumi led him 
out the door by the hand.
		*			*			*  
	Kasumi was gratified by the stares and exclamations of the 
neighborhood women as she led Ranma-chan along the sidewalk.  
	"Oh, how cute!"  "Kasumi, she's adorable!"  "Such a sweet-looking 
thing!"  Ranma-chan seemed to be less thrilled with the attention, but 
Kasumi was sure she'd get used to it.
	The part about it being the only outfit that would fit was true, 
actually.  Akane had been quite an active child, and had worn out most of 
her clothing (and the hand-me-downs from her older sisters) well before 
she'd grown out of them.  This dress had survived, ironically enough, 
because Akane had always hated it.
	Kasumi supposed, given her background, that Ranma-chan would be a 
tomboy too.  The trick would be getting her clothes that would stand up 
to punishment, but look suitably feminine.
	Part of Kasumi's mind suggested that humiliating Ranma in this 
fashion would be destructive to his already battered psyche, but her 
maternal instincts told Kasumi that the sooner Ranma-chan learned to 
accept her new form and behave appropriately, the better.  Perhaps if she 
arranged for the water heater to be "broken" for a few days...
	"Oh my, Ranma-chan, we're going to have such fun!"


TO BE CONTINUED....

Next time:  another flashback, and Ranma makes a friend!


SKJAM!
"and she never gives up, she just changes her mind"