These characters and situations are the property of
R. Takahashi and her license holders.  No offense
intended.

Irritated about all the Ranma fiction?  Send me a copy of my
story, Circularity, and I'll try to do something different.

Cue theme song:  "She's Nobody's Girl" with the chorus still in english 
and the rest translated into Japanese.  

The Way We Weren't  Chapter 2

The next day Akira was irritated to be stuck with the job
of walking Ranma to school, even more so when he 
discovered Ranma didn't walk like a normal person.  
Instead she invariably picked the narrowest available 
surface to walk on.  She was probably trying to show him 
up.  He looked up at her on the chainlink fence that she 
traversed with ease that would shame a professional
tight-rope walker and said, "You know, you won't be able
to do that once you get a proper school uniform.  Unless
of course you like the idea of showing the colour of your
underwear to everyone."

"Hey, I gotta give my peeping tom fiaaaanceee a thrill,
don't I?"  Ranma didn't bother to mention her firm 
intention to avoid girl's school uniforms.  She knew 
she'd just die of embarassment if she got caught in male 
form in a skirt.  

"You just cut that out right now!" Akira demanded.  "Once
we get to school, I want us to be strangers.  Believe me,
it'll work out better that way for both of us."

"Fine with we," Ranma answered, offended, "Who wants to 
be with a loser like you anyway?"

"Ranma."  Nodoka's voice was iron.  The two teenagers
started, having been so absorbed in their developing
argument that they hadn't noticed her approach.  

Ranma looked nervous as she said.  "Oh, uh, hi Mom.  
Where did you come from?"

Nodoka ignored the question and said, "Your fiance is 
entitled to your respect, in public at least.  Apologise
at once for your unladylike behavior."

Ladylike?  Akira had to wonder about Nodoka's standards
for that sort of thing, since the fencewalking appeared
to qualify as "ladylike" in her book.  

Meanwhile Ranma was turning red and gritting her teeth
as she hopped down and reluctantly began to concede, 
"Akira, I-I'm s-.  Mom, lookout!"

Mrs. Sakachi had long been in the habit of practising
mizumaki, the traditional technique of repelling unclean
spirits by scattering water.  She knew that some of
her neighbours considered her a superstitious old woman,
and perhaps she was, but as far as she was concerned,
whether it worked or not, the thought behind it, the
desire to protect her community from misfortune, was the 
important thing, and it only took a few minutes out of
her day.  If she occasionally dampened someone's shoes, 
no real harm was done.  Indeed they probably benefited
from the purification.  

However she was quite startled when her ladle suddenly 
clonked into a hooved leg.  She looked up and beheld a 
dark red wall of equine flesh.  Amazing.  She hadn't seen 
a horse on the street since before the War but even with
her terrible vision, there was no question what this 
was.  She reached out and touched the mare's flank.

Akira was awestruck.  Nodoka was a beautiful woman, but
an even more beautiful mare as she stepped forward a 
little, away from the ancient hand patting her flank.  
He couldn't help thinking that he'd love to ride Mrs.
Saotome.  As he winced at that disrespectful thought, 
Ranma was doing her own battle with disrespect, as she
held her breath, both hands over her mouth as she fought
to keep from laughing.  

Out of the corner of his mouth, Akira counselled, 
"Breathe Ranma.  You're turning purple.  Why didn't you
tell us she had her own curse?"

Ranma gave a choked giggle and said, "Never got around to
it after we started arguing.  I guess we'll have to take 
her back."  

Nodoka shook her head and Akira agreed, "There isn't 
time before school, but I know a place just around the
corner where we can get some hot water for her." 

Doctor Ono Tofu, a boyish looking man with a pleasantly
intelligent face, answered the knock at his back door and
looked at the sorrel mare standing in the alley behind one 
of his most regular patients.  Akira greeted him, "Yo 
sensei, could I get some hot water from you?  It's kind 
of an emergency."  Standing beside him was a 

Tofu smiled and said, "Well, I have my tea kettle, but
if you want to wash her horse, we may need to hook up
a hose."

Good point.  Akira turned to the horse and asked, "Is a
tea kettle gonna be enough to do it?"  Tofu watched in
interest as the mare nodded.  Akira then turned to the
girl and said, "Wait here with Aunt Saotome.  I'll be
right back."

"So," said Tofu.  "Is that a new girlfriend?"

"No way!  She's just staying with us," protested Akira.

"Cute girl, though.  And she doesn't look like a poisoner." 
Tofu got the kettle, ignoring Akira's gesture to take it.

"No, she's more a pound-your-face-in tomboy type."

"I HEARD THAT!"  Ranma pulled open the back door, glared
at Akira and took the proffered kettle.

"Sugoi."  Tofu didn't know whether he was calling the 
transformation incredible, or it's result.  He briefly
polished his glasses and looked again.  

The horse was still gone.  In it's place was a gracious
woman who was bowing and thanking him for his assistance.
"I trust," said Nodoka, "that you'll keep my problem 
confidential, even from other physicians?"

Tofu started back to reality, "Yes, of course.  I 
understand entirely.  But please tell me, how did it 
happen?"

"Well, that's rather a lengthy story," Nodoka began.

"Come in and we can talk in some tea...I mean over some
tea."  When she smiled and assented, Tofu felt a warm
sensation he'd never known before.

As she ran along a wall in the direction of school, Ranma 
was still worrying.  "What kind of guy is this Tofu, 
anyway?  He isn't some kind of playboy is he?  He was 
lookin' at Mom kinda weird."

"No!  Dr. Tofu's a great guy, nice to everyone!  Since
we lost Pop, he's been like another father to me.  If 
he is interested in your mother, you're both really 
lucky."

Up ahead through the school gates Ranma could see a 
number of boys who seemed to be waiting in various types
of athletic gear.  "What's that?  Some kind of sign-up
meeting?"

Akira snapped, "Just stay back!  I don't want you getting
hurt."

Ranma wondered who Akira thought he was talking to, but 
humored him by hopping up on the wall which enclosed
the school grounds as Akira charged forward.  From her
seat she had an excellent view as in excess of a dozen
athletes attacked him fiercely, some using martial arts,
some trying to club him with bats, rackets and other
sports equipment.  Their assault was totally uncoordinated 
and none of them were even close to competent by Ranma's 
standards.  Since Akira was about on the level of
the average amazon, he tore through them like a cat being
mobbed by a dozen mice.  For a moment it looked almost
as if he might be in trouble when several opponents
managed to swarm him at once, but they were almost 
immediately sent flying in every direction.  

"Ranma!" called out Nikkei from a third story window.  
"You better get inside or you'll be late.  Don't worry
about Akira.  He does this every morning!"

Ranma hopped down as Akira was finishing his last 
opponent.  "So, how'd you get so popular?"

A shadowed figure steeped out from behind a tree in
the yard, revealing himself to be a tall boy with arrogantly
handsome good looks.  Making the most of his dramatic
entrance, he began to recite, "Unearthlier distilled is 
that rose..."  Well...something like that.  Neither Ranma
or Akira had any real appreciation for poetry so they 
didn't pay much attention to what the latest arrival was
saying until he switched to something vaguely 
approximating prose.  "These fools thought that they could
defeat you and thereby win favour with their betters.  
Truly, such a boorish lot.  Their reach exceeded their
grasp and they deserved their chastisement."

Akira sighed, "Glad you liked it.  Now can I go to class?"

"Not until you introduce me to your most beautious 
companion," Kuno declared.

"Fine.  Ranma Saotome:  Kuno-sempai.  Kuno-sempai:  Ranma."

"Thy introduction is most inadequate, presumptive 
brother-in-law."  

At that Ranma looked at Akira and mouthed, "Brother-in-law?"

Akira just shrugged helplessly as Kuno continued, "For I 
am Tatewaki Kuno, the rising star  of the high school 
fencing world, the undefeated Captain of the 
Furinkan Kendo club.  My voice strikes fear into the
hearts of my enemies.  My peers know me as the Blue 
Thunder of Furinkan High!"  Conveniently, lightning 
flared behind him at the exact right moment to accent
his speech.  "Age, 17."

Akira was irritated to note that Ranma actually seemed
impressed with this nonsense, so he tried to deflate 
Kuno a little, "I thought we were supposed to call you
Shooting Star?"

"Too transient.  I intend to be around for more than a
moment."

Akira rolled his eyes and muttered, "Lucky us."

Ranma had recovered from her moment of surprise and said,
"Well, I'm Ranma Saotome of the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryo,
and I'm late for class, so could you please let me past?"

"Ah," Kuno seemed to swell with pleasure as his bokken 
moved to block her passage, "A martial artist then.
Wouldst thou care to spar with me?"

Ranma looked up at the swiftly moving clouds and decided
enough was enough.  She lept up over his head, tucked
herself into a rotating ball, then kicked out, using
the back of Kuno's head as a springboard to propel 
herself toward the main school door, just in time to
avoid the sudden torrent that left both Kuno and Akira
soaked.  

Akira looked after her, shrugged, and said "Later, Sempai."
to the prostrate Kuno, and headed on inside.  

Kuno wasn't really hurt.  The only thing that kept him
from getting up immediately was overwhelming surprise.
Never had any girl dismissed him so lightly; and what
a girl...

He got back to his feet, raised his bokken to the air and
declared, "Never have I beheld such grace and beauty,
such charm and fire of spirit.  Ranma Saotome, I will make
you mine!"

Inside, for no particular reason Ranma shivered as she
was introduced to Akira's class.  

________________________________________________________

OK, so my chapters seem to work out to half an episode each.
Sue me.  

Please send any comments, insults, or requests for
explanation to rgorman@telusplanet.net.

I'm still waiting for someone who knows about Ryu Kumon
to get in touch with me.  Please, I need the info.  

A horse is a horse
Of course, of course
Except when the horse
is the amazing Nodoka-san