Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic][R1/2-Star Wars] Ranma Wars Sidestory #3: A New Meaning of Horror
From: Jamie and Bridget
Date: 3/30/1998, 3:22 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com
Reply-to:
wildeman@psn.net

               A New Meaning of Horror: Azusa Fett
                   A Ranma Wars Side Story
                      By Yoshio Farmer
           Fission Park Press and P-P-P-Chan Productions





Yoshio Farmer
Foreign Minister and 
Most Danger Prone Ranger of
Fission Park Press
wildeman@psn.net



     Ranma Wars is the creation of Lucas Muzzatti. If it is also a 
parody of Star Wars, than this is the first we've heard of it! Go ask 
Lucas (Muzzatti, not George) for details. The characters of Ranma 
1/2 are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi with all the usual rights 
and privileges.

______________________________________________________________________
Not so long ago, in a galaxy of our own devising...



     It was deep into the Tatooine night, and beautiful night it was, the 
stars, the dunes. Azusa was probably right now admiring the night in 
their hotel room. Mikado had just arrived at Nabiki�s hideout, a bit 
late due to avoiding the Sand People. He had parked his SP-38 
outside the gate, it�d be safe from hell and high water this close to 
the gangster�s fortress. He heard a far off bantha call, close enough 
that he should worry. Mikado wasn�t troubled though, even the 
Sand People respected Nabiki�s power. Just in case, he retrieved 
his scouter from the speeder and put it on. The scouter fit snugly 
over his left ear, and swung around his head to put a plasma display 
in front of his left eye. 
     **Well, I�ve at least paid for the scouter, albeit in blood, sweat, 
and tears. That Saya was definitely not very kind about it, not even after 
being one of Azusa�s pets for a while. Maybe especially after being 
one of Azusa�s pets. I should have warned her of the Saya reputation, 
never mind if she thought his tail was cute. How was I supposed to 
know he was a Super Saya. I�ll remember now, after he blew the 
contents of Azusa�s room into space. Azusa�s anger one; Saya, 
Super or otherwise, zip. Not to mention that she held me responsible 
and beat the living daylights out of me, after the Saya had sated her 
madness.**
     Mikado scanned about with the device.
     **The highest concentration of chi is inside the fortification, and 
the bantha call was from a wild bantha. The scouter can at least tell 
me this much. Oh well, better get on with business. Always maintain 
your cool. Never mind that she is the most feared gangster in the galaxy. 
With a little help from yours truly, Azusa has become the most feared 
bounty hunter in the galaxy... Admittedly not for the same reasons.**
     He exuded calm as he approached the entrance. Confidently he 
rapped on the massive blast proof doors.  After a respectable wait, 
he was about ready to try again, when a hole opened in the door and 
a spherical camera shot out from it. He was fingering his blaster 
when it began to speak.
     �You are Mikado Sanzenin. Compatriot, and agent for Azusa Fett, 
correct?�
     **Interesting doorman, and only a three on the scouter,** Sanzenin 
noted.
     �Yes, I am here to discuss a job offer,� Mikado was going to say 
more, but the droid cut him off.
     �You are late, the Mistress detests tardiness.�
     �Yes, well..� 
     The droid cut him off once again.
     �The Mistress is waiting for you in the audience chamber,� the droid 
said as it snaked its way back into the port.
     **Short and to the point, rather rude too. I wonder if that�s 
intentional.**
     The blast doors slowly parted to reveal a long passageway. The 
only light in the place was from the door. Like most structures on 
Tatooine, at least on the ground level, the floor was covered in sand 
from the endless desert. 
     **Well it�s nice to know that at least the sand can penetrate a 
supposedly impregnable defense system. Then again this too could be 
intentional.**
     Droids moved busily about the dingy corridor. A six foot long praying 
mantis that seemed to be mostly droid stood in front of him, blocking his 
path.
     **Great, a Zenarian. Excellent bodyguards if you have the patience 
to listen to their prattle about how they improved this or that in their 
bodies. He�s a hundred on the scouter! I wonder what he has done to 
himself, considering a normal human with a blaster is only a five. 
Nothing else in the hall has enough power to be threatening. Well, no 
matter, so long as he sticks to business I shouldn�t be too bored.**
     �Come this way,� the body guard said in a metallic voice. 
     **The Zenarian language consists of strange clicks, body gestures, 
and unusual scents no doubt he had a translator device somewhere in 
that droid body. The one that she keeps has no such benefit. Azusa 
doesn�t let him near anything mechanical, in fear that he might find a 
way to escape. All the worse for him, if I wasn�t allergic to his 
�speech�, I might pay him a visit. He is about the only one of her pets 
that I pity. Not that he could go anywhere if he did escape, he had 
all his legs replaced with droid ones, and we had everything mechanical 
of his removed after all.**
     Mikado followed the Zenarian. The blast doors shut behind him, 
killing what little light was in the passageway. Luckily his scouter 
came with a night vision setting. Nabiki�s audience chamber was at 
the end of the hall, it was a long walk.
     **At least this passageway suits my mood right now. I feel really 
bad about leaving her like this, but after I set her up with this job I 
go back to the Academy to begin training new hunters. I mean, she is 
practically worthless on the business end of bounty hunting. I doubt 
she would have made it this far, if not for me. What can I do though? 
I don�t want to leave her, but I have an obligation to the Academy. 
Hell, her pets don�t even seem that bad anymore. If only this had happened 
two or three years ago, I wasn�t so fond of her, then. I wasn�t attached 
to her at all when we began...** Mikado thought back to their first 
mission together.



                         *     *     *



      It was Graduation Day at Bounty Hunter Academy on Kolhotz-4. 
The students were anxiously waiting in line outside the auditorium for 
their first assignments. Their one and only freebie, after this they 
would have to wheel and deal for their jobs. That usually meant 
better pay but Ueno sensei wasn�t so sure in one particular case. 
     Azusa was a great student in most things. She had only two weak 
areas: business transactions, and information gathering, both of which 
she found boring beyond belief. Ueno sensei had also taken a liking to 
the girl, and he still had a few strings he could pull. Besides, he already 
promised her he would find someone to help her out.
     **Though if help came willingly it would be a lot easier,� he thought. 
There came a strong confident knock on the door, interrupting his 
thoughts.
     �Come,� Ueno said. 
     The door slid aside to reveal the self-assured figure of Mikado 
Sanzenin. He calmly strode into the office of his former teacher.
     �My, my, has the new hunter come to say goodbye?�
     �Actually, no sensei. I�ve come to say hello. You see I�m going to 
be your new student instructor.�
     Ueno's jaw dropped.
     **What is this world coming to? How could they do this to me? Sure 
he is an above average student, but to train him as an instructor? He 
hasn�t even proven himself, developed his own techniques. Not to 
mention the harassment charges that are sure to come up about his 
treatment of the female trainees, if his student life has been any 
indication of that! What could they have been thinking? He belongs out 
there where we can deny teaching him such values.**
     �I hope you will be pleased with my performance here,� Sanzenin 
said confidently.
     **But wait, don�t look a gift horse in the mouth. He could be the 
answer to my prayers. I just need to think up a good cover story.**
     Mikado smiled toothily at the prospects of his new job.
     �So then, do you have a �special� protegee that needs extra help?�
     Ueno couldn't believe his luck as Mikado said this.
     **Great it�s starting already!**
     �Well then, I shall go and see my classmates off then,� Mikado said 
after a long pause.
     �Wait, Actually I do have a �special� protegee I�d like you to watch 
over�
     �Really?� There was hope in Mikado�s voice.
     �Yes, and you have to realize, this is all part of training to be an 
instructor. I do believe you already know her.�
     �Her, oh, I wonder who this vision of beauty could be?�
     �In fact, I think you both were on the anti-gravity jet figure skating 
team together.�
     �That narrows it down a bit, and since that stupid wench leaves today, 
that means I can have this girl without her interference.�
     �You had better hurry though, she packs out today.�
     Mikado's eyes glazed over. **Oh no, he doesn�t mean...**
     �I�ll have Azusa wait at the spaceport for you.�


     �NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!�



                           *     *     *



     Azusa had just finished packing. She was waiting for the train that 
would take her to the space port. Suddenly, Azusa emitted a cute little 
sneeze.
     �Ah-choo. Ara, the train had better come before Azusa catches a 
cold.�
      It was then that Azusa�s eyes fell on a furry stuffed animal, a 
dalmatian. It was abandoned on a bench by waiting passengers.
     �How cute! Pochacco! Pochacco! Little Azusa will take care of you, 
don�t worry. Pochacco!�



                           *     *     *



     �What, don�t you like my first assignment for you? You know, 
you have to learn temperance for dealing with some of the students. 
And what better place, than out in the real world? Plus, you may get 
new ideas, interesting concepts to bring back to the Academy when 
you return. It�ll only be for a few years.�
     �A....few....years?�
     �And you know how badly she did in Economics, you could sort of 
be a crutch for her in that area.�
     �A....few....years?�
     �And who knows what kind of trouble she�ll get in with her �hobby�. 
Maybe you can turn all that energy she has into something useful. Well 
that�s all I�ve got, you had better hurry and pack your things up, if you 
mean to catch her.�
     �A....few....years?�
     �Sanzenin!�
     �Y-Y-Yes sir. I�m on my way.�



                          *     *     *



     Mikado had just finished packing his things up, it only took a few 
minutes. After all he lead a rather spartan lifestyle, at least compared to 
his new charge.
     **At this rate I will be the one waiting for her at the space port. I 
don�t believe he did this to me, to humiliate me like this. Oh well, at 
least as a new hunter I�ll get my choice of the newest ships.**
     Mikado made it to the spaceport within the hour. The space port 
was an unusual menagerie of ships. Old Republic warships rested 
next to new Hentperial designs. Mikado was looking over some of 
the newer cruisers when Azusa showed up. The only luggage she 
carried with her was a small knapsack.
     **Perhaps some sense has crept into that vacuous mind of hers,** 
he thought. 
     �Where is the rest of your luggage?� is what he said.
     �It�s already on the ship. You�re the help I was promised right?�
     �It�s... You didn�t.�
     �Un-hunh, over there.� Azusa�s finger pointed at a rather strange 
ship. It was a Hentperial design, but it was of a discontinued line.
     �No. We aren�t taking that one. Parts would be too difficult to 
find, besides its weapons systems are probably all outdated. And 
we�re going to need something with a little more speed.�
     �Ara. But Azusa already put her little signature on the title.�
     �You did what! Stupid wench! Have you any idea what kind 
of problems it�ll cause for us. We need something top of the line 
now so we can keep up with our prey later on down the line!� 
Mikado fumed. He was about ready to let loose on her when he 
came to his senses.
     **Stay calm. Maybe she didn�t make an extraordinarily bad 
choice. It�ll get us attention to say the least. Perhaps some notoriety 
if she proves to be any good at the hunting business. I haven�t even 
seen the inside of it yet. It may not be as bad as I thought.**
     �I named it the Kawaii-1. Because it will carry me and all of my 
cute acquaintances.�
     **Yeah, what you call acquaintances, most people call thievery. 
What planet are you from anyway?**
     Azusa lead Mikado to the gangway of the ship. He could see that 
she had been busy, she had already made a few changes to the ship. 
Thin lines of red and pink ran down the side of the hull. On each of 
the fins of the ship was a pink ribbon bow.
     **I can�t believe what she has done. Those ribbons will never 
survive the jump to light speed. I don�t see any weapons either, what 
if we get into a stand up space battle?** Thought Mikado as he warily 
eyed the ribbons.
     The worst was yet to come, now was the time for Azusa to show 
him around their new ship. The gangway opened to a hall that was 
obscenely pink. It had four other doors, one forward and three aft. 
The one that was Azusa�s was room was obvious, with the pretty 
designs and her name in fluorescent green on the door. The room she 
meant for him was equally noticeable, what with all the graffiti on 
the door. 
      The very aft door lead into the cargo hold, it was huge. It was 
bi-level, and the upper deck could be removed sectionally, in case of 
an extremely large piece of cargo. Azusa�s touch was here too, the 
bulkheads were painted in a beautiful mural of a forest with all of the 
little furry creatures.
      **Well, I guess she does have some sway over the other trainees 
at the Academy, she had to have some help to do this in such a short 
time. At least those at the Academy that didn�t know her too well. 
She at least chose a ship with a large cargo bay, and it can be easily 
converted to have a rather large smuggle hold.**
      On the aft bulkhead of the bay was another door, this one lead 
to the engine room. The engine room was surprisingly bare, it was 
in its natural state. The only unusual feature was a strange blue and 
white ball, roughly the size of a basketball, that was plugged into the 
main computer system. The super luminal drives were of course 
shutdown, however, the sub-light drives were already running and 
charging the batteries.
     **Sure she isn�t a complete idiot, but how did she get so familiar 
with the ship�s systems in such a short time? I mean we weren�t 
trained on anything like this, and she did only get here this morning,** 
Mikado�s thoughts were interrupted by a rather annoying noise, it 
was coming from the ball hooked up to the computer.
     �Geru, geru, geru, geru, geru. Greetings Mistress Azusa and 
Master Mikado. Master Ueno sent Geru as a gift to keep you two 
out of trouble. Geru.�
     The ball detached itself from the main computer while ports 
opened up in it�s body. Arms and legs extended from the ports until 
the entire droid stood just over Mikado�s knee. When the droid 
stood at full height, a panel slid back to reveal the droid�s eye.
     �It�s sooo cute! Geru! Come here.�
     Geru walked over to her, to be immediately snatched up into her 
arms. Out of nowhere, a workbench with instant drying paints and 
teal ribbons sitting on top of it appeared. Azusa went right to work 
making Geru even cuter, by her standards. When Azusa�s work 
was done, Geru�s body was a polished silver with dark blue highlights 
and teal ribbons on each limb.
     **And I have to live with this?** Mikado thought darkly. **I�ll 
never survive.**
     Her work done, Azusa continued on her tour of their new ship 
with Mikado and Geru in tow. They went on to the forward door, 
it lead into a small dining/recreational room. From here it was quite 
obvious why Mikado didn�t see any weapons from the outside, they 
were all retractable.
     **Highly illegal. But incredibly effective, with no obvious weapons 
and our shields up so they can�t scan us, attacking ships will take 
greater risks.**
     The next space forward was the bridge. Immediately upon entering 
on was assaulted by the hilarity of the fluffy cow patterned seats. 
Azusa�s only other addition to the bridge was a tako that seemed to 
change colors randomly, she obviously didn�t plan on spending much 
time here either. Azusa�s joyous squeals as she entered the bridge was 
almost too much to bear.
     �Antoinette! Antoinette! Did you miss me? I know I left you alone 
for a long time up here didn�t I? Oh I hope you�ll forgive me.� Azusa 
seemed on the verge of tears so Mikado decided to step in.
     �I�m sure she does. Now do you have the holo-message with our 
mission brief?�
      �Ara, it slipped little Azusa�s mind.�
      **You mean it slipped Azusa�s little mind.**
      �Geru, Geru has holo-message. Master Ueno saw that Mistress 
Azusa had forgotten to check the auditorium for her job assignment, 
so he gave it to me.�
     **So, that�s how she got packed and down here so quickly.**
     �Well then, let�s see it,� said Mikado over his shoulder as he walked 
into the rec. room.
     Geru set himself up at the end of the dining table and began playing 
the message. The visage of Kuno Vader suddenly appeared in front of 
them. Mikado�s heart skipped a beat. Azusa just stared with a �I�m 
not listening� look in her eyes. Vader began to speak.

     �To the Bounty Hunter Academy, this is but a trifling matter, 
not worthy of paying the exuberant price of an experienced bounty 
hunter. Still, because of the Hentpire�s continuing support of thy 
noble establishment, I expect this assignment to be given to the 
finest of the up and coming bounty hunters of thy graduating class.
     �This task consists of two parts. The first is to retrieve a piece 
of cargo that was en-route to Paranar-5 from the high pressure mining 
station at Yahlst. It is imperative that this cargo does not fall into 
Rebel hands. Shouldst thou fail in the retrieval, thou art authorized 
to destroy the cargo. Be aware that the cargo is part of the price that 
we intend to pay thee.
     �The second part is to kill the cretinous Governor Jassan. He is 
thought to be working alone, however we are uncertain whether this 
is true. Thy payment will be made upon retrieval of a piece of the 
Governor from which samples may be obtained to determine its origin.
     �Thy payment shall include the cargo, should it be retrieved, and 
a complete upgrade of thy ship at any Hentperial star base. Thus 
concludes my message.�


     **A complete upgrade? Excellent, now I can get what I wanted out 
of our ship, if it doesn�t hurt the twit�s sensibilities too much.** 
Mikado�s chain of thought broke when he heard what Azusa was saying.
     �OK! Let�s go! Geru, get the ship ready for take off!�
     �Geru. Yes Mistress.�
     �Wait a minute!�
     �Geru?�
     �What do you two think you are doing?�
     �We�re going to get our target!� Azusa said cheerily.
     �We don�t even know where to start. We haven�t done any research, 
we don�t even know what our �mark� looks like.�
     �Research? But, that�s boring. I want to start going now,� Azusa 
whined.
     �We don�t even have any supplies yet.�
     �But... But...�
     �We�re not going yet and that�s final.�
     Now Azusa started to throw a teary fit. Between her wailing and 
her tears she began to beat Mikado over the head with one of the metal 
benches that was once bolted down.
     �But Azusa wants to go now! Now! Now!� with each successive 
now, she beat him once again.
     Mikado fled from the ship, to arrange for supplies, to get a little 
background on the case, and to escape the torrent of blows.
     **I swear, she just does that to infuriate me. I mean, she must 
have people that worship her every footstep to get that much done to 
the ship in such a short time. Maybe they just don�t stick around long 
enough.**



                          *     *     *



      Mikado prepared all the supplies for a trip in excess of two months, 
they would only be gone for a couple of weeks but one could never 
be certain. That done, he began his research into the matter at hand. 
Collecting the data took less than three hours, it was the actual reading 
that took the rest of the week. Previous journeys, governing style, 
and personal life was the direction of most of the study. Mikado�s 
investigation shed very little light on the subject. 
     **No mention anywhere of the governor�s species. What few 
holos there are of the Governor show him to be a human sized teddy bear. 
Well, a teddy bear with foot long claws and three inch teeth. His projected 
course was typical of his previous ventures, taking the shortest path. 
With no regard to pirate frequented areas, natural disasters, and the 
like. Also, he seems to always travel alone, no escort ships, no one else 
in his ship.**
      **The Hentpire is assuming him guilty of thievery, but none of 
the circumstances back that up. Unless they have other reasons to 
suspect him that I don�t have access to. Like there being no mention 
of his species anywhere? Maybe he is trying to hide something? 
Perhaps he just got on the bad side of one of the higher ups. Well, 
ours is not to reason why...** 



                          *     *     *



     �So, the Nordia system is the only likely location for him to have 
disappeared. If he was slightly off in his calculations he could have 
been sucked into the gravity well of the star. Although the computer 
would have slowed the ship before it was in any real danger. That 
place would be the perfect hiding spot, when he finally dropped from 
light speed. One of the many asteroids or meteoroids could probably 
mask his presence. He wouldn�t dare leave the relative safety that 
the asteroid field would provide. Especially not if he is expecting an 
attack. This all assumes he was working alone of course, or that he 
was cut off before he could meet with anybody. Do you see?�
     Azusa gave him a vacuous look.
     �Not one bit, but let�s just get on with it, OK? Geru, start up the 
engines. Let�s go!� she chirped.



                          *     *     *



     The trip to the Nordia system was rather uneventful. Other than 
the occasional dropping to sub light speeds for course correction, 
or when the computer decided that their course took them too close 
to a gravity well. Even then, there were no pirates waiting, no real 
imminent threats. Geru did mention something about his home world 
at one of those stops.
     **Ha, a droid with a home world! What was that droid thinking?** 
was all Mikado thought of the matter. 
     �Geru, Mistress Azusa, Master Mikado, entering the Nordia system,� 
Geru announced.
     The ship slowed to sub light speeds. Azusa got a headache from 
watching the stars shrink back into points of light.
     �Azusa�s going to be sick!� with that Azusa left the bridge for her 
own room.
     Mikado quickly glanced at the sensors. It was all static.
     �All of the rock bodies prevent any sort of scanning. If you�re 
trying, it�s the perfect place to hide. The only question is how to find 
anyone in this mess.�
     The comm link suddenly crackled to life. The cowled head of a 
teddy bear with a rather formidable set of teeth appeared on the display.

     �Please to be surrendering your ship and be boarded. You face the 
combined firepower of my personal armada.�

     As if to punctuate his words two turbo laser shots arced across 
Kawaii-1�s bow. The imposing figure of an Old Republic war cruiser 
broke free of the asteroid shell, and began closing on the Kawaii-1. 
The cruiser was roughly ten times the size of the smaller ship. Soon 
they were caught in a tractor beam. The beam�s rather excessive 
energy began shaking Kawaii-1 to the core.
     �Ara, why is the ship rocking about? Evangeline fell over,� said 
Azusa as she entered the bridge, a four foot stuffed penguin doll 
clutched in both arms.
     When Azusa got to the bridge, Kawaii-1 was just entering the 
docking bay. Kawaii-1 was set down rather roughly, sending Azusa 
to the floor on top of Evangeline.
     �Oh, Evangeline. I�m so sorry.�
     Once again the comm system sizzled to life, this time audio only.

     �Please to be exiting the ship now. Follow the guard droids.�

     Mikado looked to the droid.
     �Stay here, Geru. We may need to make a quick get away if we 
can disable the tractor beam.�
     �Geru, Yes Master Mikado.�
     Mikado and Azusa went to the gangway of their ship. Azusa lowered 
the gangway slowly, for all her apparent ineptitude she did know her ship 
rather well. All the time Mikado spent doing his research she spent 
familiarizing herself with Kawaii-1�s systems.
     At the bottom of the gangway a guard droid stood at either side of 
the path. As they were being whisked away by the droids Azusa 
glanced behind to her ship. The ribbons on each fin had indeed been 
torn off by their superluminal travel.
     �My cute little ribbons! Evangeline, they tore them off! How could 
they,� she sunk to her knees in tears, hugging the penguin.
     �Please to be following the droids,� the Governor�s voice said, this 
time over a PA system.
     The droids brought them to a large antechamber. A red carpet lead 
down the middle of the room, up a short flight of stairs to the foot of 
a throne. The throne was surrounded by holo screens depicting various 
views outside the ship, empty space and asteroids all around. In the 
throne sat Governor Jassan, he looked to be even larger than the holos 
made him appear.
      �I guessed that the Hentpire would have me followed. All the more 
reason that I should have built up this fleet.�
      �Well now you have us, what are you going to do with us?� Mikado 
asked.
      �Why, I�m going to give you a sentence worse than death. I�m 
going to take your light speed drives, and leave you here while my fleet 
and I continue on our way.�

     **If only you knew what a sinister fate you condemn me to,** 
Mikado thought, casting a sidelong glance at Azusa.

     �My droids are already hard at work removing your engines, It 
should only take ten years to get to the nearest colony.�
     �We only have food for two months, how the hell are we supposed 
to survive?�
     �I�ll have my droids unload your ship, any extra weight may prove 
too taxing on your fuel reserves. You�ll probably want to leave that 
doll behind as well.�
     **He means for us to die. If not from starvation, then from Azusa 
beating me to death when she finds all her friends missing.**
     One of the droids reached for the penguin. Azusa tried to maneuver 
it away, but too late. The droid had a hold of one of the penguins fins.
     �No! Don�t touch Evangeline!�
     Azusa tried to pull the penguin out of the droid�s grip, but in the 
process tore the doll in half.
     �You, You! You!! YOU!! Killed her! That�s it!�
     With that pronouncement, a large laser cannon appeared out of laser 
limbo, and into Azusa�s waiting arms. There was sheer hatred in her 
eyes. Mikado had never seen her like this! He quickly ducked down.
     �Now you die,� Azusa said at almost a whisper.
     Laser light filled the throne room, both droids were soon only molten 
pieces of metal. She didn�t stop there, she didn�t stop until all the 
bulkheads were white hot and almost to melting. The figure in the 
throne began to shimmer and fade. Azusa looked up and shot at the 
throne for lack of a better target. The throne was blasted aside to 
reveal a small room with a holocam and a one and a half foot tall 
bear with something strapped to its hands and some plastic teeth.
     Mikado got up to view of the object of their fears.
     �We were afraid of that thing,� Mikado burst out laughing.
     Azusa, her anger forgotten, also began laughing. Suddenly she 
stopped, her eyes took on an unusual gleam of satisfaction.
     �How cute!�
     �Oh, no... You�re not...� Mikado said in disbelief.
     �Please do not be killing me, I�ll give you anything. Anything. 
Here take the protoarmor, anything, just don�t kill me.� Governor 
Jassan obviously mistook the look in Azusa�s eyes.



                            *     *     *



     Back aboard the Kawaii-1, Mikado was just entering the coordinates 
to take them to the nearest Hentperial space station. Azusa marched 
on to the bridge, stunning in her new armor. The armor was a frilly 
thing that revealed as much as it protected, her anti-gravity jet skates 
only added to the appearance. They had found out from Jassan that the 
armor was meant for the Hentperor�s Guardswomen, small wonder it bared 
so much skin. 
     �Jassan is in his cage and ready to go,� Azusa reported.
     �I don�t believe you�re going to keep him,� Mikado replied.
     �Well he had Evangeline killed, so it�s only right that he take her 
place," Azusa retorted.
     **Maybe in your twisted mind. Personally that is a fate I wouldn�t 
wish on anyone,** Mikado thought.  
     �It is nice to know that he was only bluffing about the fleet,� is 
what he said.
     �Yes, he is going to be so much fun with all of his pranks.�
     **Fun for you maybe,** Mikado thought.



     When Mikado showed the lightning troopers what was in store for 
Governor Jassan, neither they nor their superiors had any complaints. 
Mikado had the alterations done to Kawaii-1 without Azusa�s knowledge. 
He really didn�t need her to be angry with him after he had seen that 
anger first hand.



                           *     *     *


     Mikdao followed the guard through more dank halls.
     **Strangely enough, Azusa�s anger seems to be reserved only for 
our marks. I should be glad, I suppose. Maybe even she can get tired 
of all that cuteness, no, what am I thinking!**



                           *     *     *



     �Help me! You�ve got to help me! I can�t stand another day with 
that vicious girl,� said the little pig thing some teacher had us collect.
     �You made your bed, sleep in it. How did you get out of your 
cage anyway?� Mikado replied.
     �I promise I�ll never steal my teacher�s panties again.�
     �I don�t care, just get back in your cage.�
     �But... But ... But, you don�t know how it is in there! She makes 
fun of you, pokes you, squeezes you, makes you do acrobatics. Since 
I didn�t tell her my name when you initially captured me, she started 
calling me Jannette. I�m a guy, that�s more than I can take, get me 
out of here. ...And our cages are so far away from her dressing room too, 
I can�t see anything.�
     �That�s it! Go! Get back in your cage, before I call her out here.�
     The pig ran back to his cage, tears welling in his eyes.
     **And this little piggy cried wee, wee, wee, all the way home** 
Mikado thought as he watched the pig.



                          *     *     *



     **Who would have thought he went to Shape Changer�s School? 
Needless to say after I found out how he escaped, Azusa looked on 
him with renewed interest. Although, it did cost me to make a cage 
that he couldn�t get out of unless Azusa took him out, it was well 
worth it. Also had to move the cages to the cargo hold, she didn�t 
like that much, but it hurt my sensibilities not hers. Come to think of 
it, Kawaii-1 has changed a lot since we started, mostly to accommodate 
her little pets. I think I�m beginning to enjoy the suffering she causes. 
That�s scary.**
     Mikado was almost at the end of the hall now. It was starting to 
get brighter, and he could hear a techno band playing very faintly. 
The sand was also gone from the hall�s floor.
     Mikado entered into Nabiki�s audience chamber, as soon as he 
gained admittance, the music stopped. Nabiki was seated atop a bed 
of pillows like an Arabian queen. She had a layered fishnet garment 
on that left little to the imagination. She was surrounded by man 
servants in loincloths, human except that they had abnormal energy 
readings, and a monkey�s tail. Sayas, the most feared warriors in the 
universe, well, if one didn�t know Azusa.
     �You are late,� Nabiki stated.
     �Yes I know, but...�
     �I don�t take excuses. I�ll just lower your price a bit�
     **I wonder what she means by a bit? Half?**
     �I called you here because you two are supposed to be the best, 
and you don�t ask questions. Of course, there will be other bounty 
hunters. You two are still the most likely to catch the person I have 
in mind, though. And I�ll double your price if you bring him to me 
instead of keeping him. The target is a smuggler named Ran Solo. He's 
worth ten thousand credits. Remember, I�ll double it if you bring him 
to me. If his father Gen-baka is with him, it�s an additional five 
thousand. One of my men will give you their dossiers.�

     Mikado thought it over. With luck they could have twenty-five 
thousand credits. Handsome work for a couple smugglers.
     �Yes, thank you, ma�am. I shall take my leave now.�
     **This is going to be tough, we�ve never just retrieved someone 
before. It�s always ended either in keeping them or their death. Well, 
better head back, she might actually be worried by now, but, before 
I go back to Azusa I need to go to our ship for awhile.�



                             *     *     *



     �You what?� Said Ueno sensei over the comm net.
     �I wish to resign my position as a student instructor,� Mikado said 
evenly.
     �Are you sure?�
     �Yes, I�m afraid I�ve come to care too much about Azusa to just 
leave her to the dogs as it were. Besides, there is still so much more 
I can learn out here.�
     �All right, it is your decision. You sure you won�t change your mind?�
     �Yes.�
     �Goodbye then, hunter.�

     Ueno sensei sat back in his chair and gave a loud sigh of relief.
     **Thank god. I really didn�t want to have to deal with him harassing 
my students the way he used to in his student days. Perhaps he�s 
matured, but I�m not willing to take that risk. Oh well, it�s all for the 
best.**



                            *     *     *



     Azusa sat alone in the hotel room. She had woken up about an hour 
before dawn to check on Mikado. He wasn�t in his bed.
     **He was supposed to be back before dawn, I hope nothing has 
happened to him. After all, he has been the one taking the job offers. 
All this time he was supposed to have spent training me and what does 
he do? He always leaves me behind. To top it all off this is his last job 
with me, what am I supposed to do now? Well I suppose I�ve sort of 
led him on with the air-head act. But being an air-head is fun, and it 
has become so much second nature that I don�t think I could stop if 
I wanted to.**
     Out the window, in the predawn light, Azusa could see a cloud 
of sand headed towards their hotel.
     **Well then I guess he did keep his promise, I�ll just pretend I�m 
asleep. Right Marie?**
     A few minutes later...
    �Hey, Azusa! You�ll never guess what!� 



                              The End



Notes

Ara - Japanese exclamation. Sort of an �oh dear� but not quite.

Evangeline - does anyone get it?

Geru - Pan�s robotic friend in Dragon Ball GT.

Kolhotz-4 - Home of the Bounty Hunter Academy.

Protegee - Point of contention in Fission Park, until we finally figured 
out the correct spelling. Protege is neutral, while protegee is female, 
however there is no pronunciation difference. They both meant 
female in the conversation.

Sayas - A warrior race that is almost extinct in the Dragon Ball Z 
universe

Scouter - A Dragon Ball Z invention I thought may be appropriate 
for a bounty hunter to have.

Tako - Japanese for octopus

Who�s that pig?

In case you haven�t guessed I�m a Dragon Ball fan as well.