First off, all the legal stuff not said in the previous part.. This is a
fic by Maxwell_E that he sent to me (asked me to) MST. He knows about
all the stuff I wrote about the fic, especially since he asked for it..
Part II:
ACT II
48
INT. COLLEGE DORM ROOM ESTABLISHING SHOT
littered with various books, weapons, papers, etceteras. The stuff you'd
expect to find in two guys college dorm who are both filthy rich. Junk
Tom: Is there also any kegs, a wine cellar, a whole fridge of Dew
while we're at it? They certainly seemed to have fun last night�
CLOSE UP ALARM CLOCK
ringing, face reads 8:12
SPIKE
Damn! I'm late.
INT. BATHROOM PAN
Crow: I'll be happy until they come to "Int. Bed pan"
rushes into bathroom and rushes back out a few seconds later without a
hair
mussed on his head and shades in perfect order. MISU groggily stirs awake
and
looks like he's been run over by a train.
Mike: Probably was, considering last night.
Tom: Maybe he just peed on the third rail.
MISU--LOOKS AT CAMERA
What *IS* it with that guy anyway?
MISU
falls back into bed comatose.
Mike (Misu): Beer. I must have beer.
SPIKE
gets dressed runs out the door and plows into SAM.
Tom: Not yet! Besides, the scene isn't set! It should be in the
bedroom,
not outside it!
Mike: Tom�
SAM
punches him in the solar plexus
SPIKE
goes down with a "thump".
SAM
So, is our date still on?
Crow (Spike): Sure, baby. Just remember to bring the chains and whips.
This is fun.
SPIKE
is hungover
Tom: You know Mike, that was information that I really could do
without?
Mike: That he's drunk� ah�Tom!
SPIKE
Ow ow ow date?
Mike: Is that the way all first dates go with this guy? Maybe he'd
like to be caned�
SPIKE
is befuddled look, trying to furiously remember who the babe is that just
hit
him
SAM
looks at SPIKE impatiently
Crow (Sam): Now, dammit! I feel like beating the crap out of you!
Tom (Spike): That's your idea of a date?
Crow (Sam): For me it is, sucker. Gimme a beer, and I'll finish you!
Mortal Kombat!
SAM
Don't tell me you forgot already?
SPIKE
Date. DATE! Oh yeah, er. When and where babe?
Mike (Sam): Well, there's a terrific torture chamber back at my
house�
SAM
whaps! SPIKE
SAM
And don't call me babe!
SPIKE
Yeah whatever you say. How's about we go to the base? I can
Mike (Spike): I can teach you to shoot a gun rather than punch my
lights out!
Crow (Spike): I can show you the ins and outs of firing ballistic
missiles!
Tom (Spike): Have you seen my "nuclear missile?"
Mike: Tom!
Tom: Sorry Mike, I couldn't resist�
show ya around and there's a great restaurant there. Except
uh, my bikes in the shop.
Crow: Exactly how many bikes does he have in the shop?
Mike: Well, considering how much he drank, probably at least ten.
SCENE CHANGE BASE OFFICE
[In reality his pop owns the base, the fighter and the 'shop'
unfortunately
Dad
took away his license cause his grades dropped.]
SCENE CHANGE DORM HALLWAY--MISU (POV)
looks out the door
MISU
What th' heck is going on here?
Crow: A wildebeest passes by the door as an orangutan pees on his knee�
Tom: A street hooker turns to look at him and says, "Well, you look
trashy enough�"
Mike: As the tractor passes by, the farmer spits tobacco in Misu's
face�
MISU
sees SAM and his mouth drops open.
Tom (Misu): Wow! A girl that _doesn't_ have a tattoo!!
SAM
Close yer mouth clown!
Mike (Sam): Your breath stinks, fool!
MISU
(ego bashed)
Crow: Why'd you have to hit it? Leggo my Eggo!
MISU
Clown huh!?
MISU
slams the door shut, a little TOO hard as it bursts out of its frame and
showers the hall with fragments. MISU looks up with a sheepish grin.
SPIKE
Dork.
MISU
Your turn or mine?
Tom (Misu): I want the girl! I want her to go medieval on my ass!
Crow (Spike): No, she's mine! She told me that I would be the one
that she'll beat the crap out of!
SPIKE
I fixed it last time.
JANITOR #1
walks past and freaks yelling and screaming. runs past the DEAN
DEAN
Dammit! Not again, this is the third one this month. Hey!
Misu, Spike, cut that out will ya! Or the next time I'll
Mike: Yes, a college professor can't speak proper English!
He goes on beer busts with the kids all the time�
Crow: I'd like to see this guy's qualifications�
personally kick you out of the dorm and you'll have to live
off campus!
Mike (Spike): NO! We'll have to get jobs at the bar!
Tom (Misu): Wait, Spike, that's not a bad idea�
Mike (Spike): Hey, you're right! Break another door�
SPIKE
Cool man! I'd love to have my own space.
MISU
Me too!
SPIKE
And hey, Dean Bob!
DEAN
That's Robert to you, you twit! How many times do I have ta
tell ya? I HATE BOB!
Mike (Spike): Well, if you didn't like Bob, we can always fix you up
with
someone else, Dean-o.
Tom (Misu): How about Spike?
CLOSE UP - DEAN
rips his suit to tatters and looks like Lou Ferigno, except maybe with a
bad
attitude.
SPIKE
Sure dude, chill man. Say, what was that about letting us out
of this dump?
DEAN
screams in frustration! and storms out of building.
Mike: Who was thinking that first?
Tom: Well, I know that I was the one screaming in agony! and praying
that we were out of this fic�
Crow: My scream was of torture! because this fic STINKS!
MEDIUM SHOT OF MISU, SPIKE AND SAM
Mike: Ahh, the spirit world is responding! Was there someone in your
life, recently dead, with the first initial of O? Osborne, Oscar, any
of this ring a bell?
they all shrug
ESTABLISHING SHOT - CLASSROOM
[Scene changes. Classroom, teacher droning on about something on the
order of
subatomic nuclear physics. MANDY and MISU sit
Now, see, Stacey is the first subatomic particle. The next one
is
Mickey, and the last one is Bernard. We don't like Bernard, so that's
what we named the last one. Test tomorrow.
together; SABURO is sitting in the middle paying a reasonable
amount of attention, VINNY and MAT are sleeping (although VINNY
is actually watching everything with his eyes slitted and is
taking notes.) TI has his book open but has a Ms. Terra 2204
Mike: All I know is that I wish I could be like Vinny when I was in
school.
Tom: Mike, why do you think you are here?
Mike: I slept! But I always got into trouble over it!
magazine (April issue) and is quite absorbed in it. SPIKE is
sleeping, SAM is sitting in back of SPIKE. SAM grabs SPIKE's hair
and picks his head up and slams it in the desk to wake him up.
Crow: Was anyone in this class doing what they came to _college_ for?
1The bell rings and everybody instantly hops up and stampedes
past the Professor.]
ESTABLISHING SHOT - CAMPUS
beach in background lots'a green, fountains 'n stuff. The guys are there
and
MISU is giggling
Crow: Damn, even the narrator can't speak right. Does that mean�?
Mike: No, Crow, we won't. If I hear you guys do it once�
SPIKE
What's so funny 'Su?
MISU
laughs
Tom: Lookee, man, I just gave some beer to the pigeon. Aww, cool!
MISU
See that girl over there?
SPIKE (POV)
follows MISU's finger to where it points at the raven haired goddess
Crow (Spike): I'm your friend. Why'd you flip me off?
Mike (Misu): Just wanted to show you the birdie�
Tom: I can imagine all the things I'd like to show the birdie right
about now�
SPIKE
You can't mean?
Crow (Spike): What the hell are you trying to say? How about I give
you a dictionary, and you start over?
MISU
I was walking to class this morning, and she flew into my
arms! I got a date.
Mike (Misu): It shows that even the desperate ones can get some!
Cool, now I can have someone to beat on me like you and Sam.
SPIKE (SLAPS FOREHEAD)
WHAT!? You? With her?! If you can do it, I can!
SAM
whaps SPIKE across the back of the head
Crow (Sam): No, honey, that was just a lovetap.
Tom (Spike): You said that earlier when you bashed me over the head
with a bat!
SAM
I thought we had a date!
SPIKE
We do, we do. I was just joking with MISU.
Forced giggle Heh, heh.
Mike: Heh heh
Crow: Heh heh
Tom: Heh heh
Mike: Guys, be careful. I wouldn't want you to fry your circuits with
all this laughing�
MISU (TO MANDY)
Hey Mandy!
MANDY
Yes Misu?
MISU (WALKS OVER)
So where are you from?
Mike (Mandy): You wouldn't know the name of the mental institute�
Tom (Mandy): Ah caim from a place way down in Dixie� mah daddy
said that he wanted me ta fin' a good down-home boy
to be mah husband.
MANDY (GRINS SHYLY)
Well, it's really Hell...
MISU
Gee, that's too bad. Bad neighborhood?
MANDY
Not exactly.
MISU
Oh, ok. I'm from Milanos, a little region on Alpha Centaurai
a couple of light years from here, but Dad thought it'd be
good to send me to a good Terran college. Said he'd breed
culture into me whether I like it or not.
Tom: I don't think that that's the only thing Misu's been breeding so
far�
Crow (Spike): Is that damn shower clean yet?
Mike (Misu): No, hand me the acid again!
MANDY
Gee. So what are you going to do when you get out of college?
Mike: Well, I figured that I would finally have enough education
to hold down a factory job!
Tom: What with all the skills he picks up at the bar, I bet he could
pimp his way to riches�
MISU
Not much. Kind'a boring really. I gotta rule the world.
Mike (Spike): What are we doing tonight, Misu?
Crow (Misu): Same thing we do every night, Spike: try to take over the
world!
Prince and all. So what are you doing tonight?
MANDY
Why?
MISU
No reason. The guys were gonna have a party on the beach. Ya
know, Friday bashes?
Crow: Sam's habits are really taking hold.
Mike: After that are the Saturday beatings and the Sunday whippings�
MANDY
Can I come along with you?
MISU
Hey, if you want to, that'd be great. I'll pick you up around
seven.
MANDY
Make it 7:30 ok? Is your friend going to be at the party?
MISU
Nope, he's got a date with Sam.
MANDY
Oh.
Tom (Mandy): But _I_ wanted Sam!!
Mike: Tom�
MISU
You like him?
MANDY
He is kind of cute.
MISU (SNICKERS)
Mike: Hungry? Snickers really satisfies!
Ahh, you wouldn't wanna know him. He likes beating up on his
women. See? (Points to SAM and SPIKE as the beat the crap out
of each other.)
MANDY
Oh my. Well, see you later Misu.
Crow: Wait! The dramatis personae didn't include Kasumi!
Mike: You know, I have a feeling she'd feel right at home considering
some of the things going on around here�
MISU
Bye!
SABURO
walks over
SABURO
And she did trip the light fantastic.
Mike, Crow, and Tom: Don't fall!
Tom: You've got a lawsuit, buddy! Where's F. Lee Bailey
when you really need him?
Crow: Still in jail, Tom.
Tom: Why can't they send more lawyers like him there, then?
MISU
is shaken from his wet dream and turns to SABURO
Tom (Misu) You just _had_ to interrupt at the good part,
didn't you Saburo!
MISU
Huh, oh it's you Sab. So what are you doing tonight?
Mike: A lube job, an oil change, you know, same old, same old.
SABURO
Oh, I'm goin' to the party. Mat says he invited everybody
along so it's supposed to be pretty big.
MISU
Oh boy, remember the LAST time Ti and Mat had a BIG party.
Tom: NO! NOT THAT!
SABURO
Yep, and they're looking for a repeat performance of the tour
de farce..
Crow: I bet it was a farce.
Tom: This whole fic is a farce!
128
MISU
Oh boy.