'

    MOUSSE'`S NEWYEAR CHALLENGE
    (or, Mousse, is that Masscara your'e wearing?)

    The scene opens on a lone stage with a microphone in the center.
    A fanfic writer wearing a Superman t-shirt walks out and taps the
microphone.
    "Hello. My name is Superdude. Many of you may not reconize me..."
    "That's because you've only written one story!" shouts Ridgewolfe
from offstage.
    "SHUT UP! people liked it!" Superdude hisses back. Turning back to
the microphone superdude says "Welcome 1998! For the Newyear I have
decided to issue a fanfic challenge. Below you will find the begining
of a story. It introduces the characters, sets the tone of the story
and suggests several plot twists and possibilities. Your Mission,
should you decide to accept this assignment, is to take this story and
finish it as YOU think it should be finished. Do what you want, be
creative! All entries will be posted with the first part and full
credit will be given to the authors. The purpose of this challenge is
to have fun. Please feel free to read the story now, and I will see
you at the End."
    As Superdude finishes speaking, Ridgewolfe throws a bucket of
water from backstage, drenching Superdude. An angry duck in a Superman
t-shirt waddles off.

                    MOUSSE'S NEW YEAR CHALLENGE
                             PART ONE
    First of all, a few things...
    Based off of characters by the ever-lovable Rumiko Takahshi, which
are her's, no copyright infringement is meant, and they are used
without permission.
    This story can be spread around, as long as the author is
acknowledged, and it is not sold for profit, either in part or in
whole, and all disclaimers are left intact.
    Characters in "<>" are spoken in Chinese



    The district of Nerima, just outside Tokyo, Japan...

    The new Chinese laundry had been open for little more than a week,
and already the business was booming.  What was surprising was that
there only seemed to be two employees.
    The Proprietor of the laundry was a wrinkled old goblin of a woman
in red robes. A fan always in her hand, she was quick with a joke, and
was popular with the customers.  The owner was helping a woman and a
small boy when a stunningly beautiful red - headed chinese girl walked
in, pouting.
    "<Have you had any luck, niece?>" The goblin asked in their native
Chinese as she handed the little boy an almond cookie.
    "<Not yet,>" The girl answered.  She smiled prettily at the woman
and answered in broken japanese, "I take those, make very clean for
you."
    "Come pick up your order on friday," the Goblin said as her
customers left, "And I'll be very disappointed if you don't bring that
handsome little boy back for me to see again!"
    The little boy smiled, then waved at her through the door.
    The Young girl came from the back and sat down by the front
counter.  "I have searched very hard, and still I cannot find my
beloved!"  She told the older woman, "Great aunt, what am I to do?"
    Great aunt placed a sympathetic hand on her niece's shoulder,
"have patience, Mascara... You have only been here a week, we moved
here as soon as we discovered He was in Nerima.  You are bound to find
the one you love."
    The front door opened then, causing the windchime to ring out as
another customer entered, a tall brown haired girl with a eternal
smile.
    "Ah, Kasumi, what a pleasure to see you again!" said great aunt
goblin as she hopped up on the counter, "The laundry overflow again?"
    "I'm afraid so," Kasumi said, setting down her basket, "Sometimes
I can't keep up no matter how hard I try."
    "Well, don't worry dear, we'll put this on express order for you."
Great aunt then waved Kasumi closer, "You know, Kasumi, I saw that Dr.
Tofu of yours dancing around with that skeleton of his again.  When
are you going to set him down and show him what a Real woman feels
like?"
    They both giggled at this, as Mascara picked up the basket and
walked towards the back.
    "Is there something wrong with Mascara?" Kasumi asked, noticing
the slump in the young girls shoulderas.
    Mascara's aunt looked at her neice, then at Kasumi.  Her eyes
widened as an idea occured to her.
    Kasumi, auntie needs to ask you a question," she said as she
fanned herself, "You've lived here all your life, maybe you can help.
My neice and I come from China to find someone, a certain young man
that Mascara intends to marry.  Maybe you've seen him..."

    Mascara placed the basket on a table in the backroom.  As she
began to sort it, her instincts alerted her to an evil presence.
    Damn, she didn't have her fire wheels with her, her Auntie would
punish her if she found out.  Slowly, she undid one of her bracelets
of large metal beads and, with a amazon battlecry, whirled and
launched them at her target.
    The beads flew with deadly accuracy at the small figure holding an
oversized bag in the window.  Without effort, the figure brandished a
smoking pipe and swatted the missles from the air.  Mascara gasped,
She had broken stone walls down with her beads before!
    "Sorry I can't stay and play, pretty lady," Happosai cackled from
his perch on the windowsill, "But there are still dozens of silky
darlings waiting for me to free them!  What a haul! What a haul!" He
cried as he bounded away.
    It was then that Mascara noticed that all the women's underwear
from the laundry was gone.


    "You're kidding..." Was all great aunt had to say.  She tried to
look out the front window, could he really be that close?
    "It's true, Auntie," Kasumi smiled, "That's where to look if you
want to find him."
    Mascara came from the back and whispered into her aunt's ear.
    "AGAIN?!  I swear, when I find the pervert doing this... Mascara,
I'm going to take a look, I think Kasumi here has something to tell
you..."


    Akane and Ranma walked down the street towards the Neko-hanten.
They were walking on the opposite side of the street and were about to
cross when Kasumi walked out of the store next to them.
    "Kasumi!  What are you doing here?" Akane asked.
    "I was dropping off some laundry, Akane.  This is the new laundry
shop I told you about," Kasumi said pleasantly.
    Ranma and Akane looked at the store, it was new enough that they
hadn't noticed it before.  A ornate sign above the door held chinese
symbols, then beneath in japanese it read "The Tiger Quick Laundry
Services"
    "Well that's convienent," Ranma stated, "people can drop off their
laundry, then walk directly across the street and eat lunch at the
Neko-hanten"
    "And that's where we're going now," Akane finished, dragging Ranma
off.
    "Very well then," Kasumi called after them, "But don't be gone too
long, I'm going to fix dinner when I get home. Bye-Bye!"
    The two crossed the street to the Neko-Hanten.  Just outside the
door was a dog trying to look in.  It didn't look like a native dog,
it was too low to the ground.  It was a reddish-brown color, and was
covered with flabby skin.  It's ears were droopy, and it had sad
doggie eyes.
    "Oh, what a cute Doggie!" Akane said as she bent to pet the
doggie.  The dog eagerly licked her hand.
    Cute?  Ranma thought, it looked like a hotdog with a oversized
skin to him, "I think it's a basset hound," He said, not terribly
impressed.
    "oh, you are sooo Cute!" Akane scratched it's ears, then kissed
it's forehead.
    "Great.  First P-chan, now ugly dog."
    Both of them gave Ranma dirty looks at this.
    "What?"
    "Nothing," Akane huffed, "If you're not too busy being jealous of
the dog, I'd like to get something to eat."
    The pair walked into the Neko-Hanten.  As they had come late, the
lunch crowd was thinning out.  they sat at a table near the counter
just as Mousse walked by with an armload of dishes.
    "Two Ramens?" He asked, pausing only momentarily to see Ranma and
Akane nod.
    Mousse entered the kitchen and walked by Cologne, who was stirring
the pots of soup.  Mousse set the bowls down in the sink and turned to
speak when Cologne said "I know, boy, I saw them come in."
    "Then you better make it three ramens then," Mousse sighed, "I'm
taking my break and I haven't eaten all day."
    Cologne grumbled as she dished the bowls and flung them at Mousse,
who caught them without thinking.
    "Make it fast then, those dishes won't wash themselves."
    "Shouldn't you be under a bridge somewhere?" Mousse muttered to
himself as he entered the restaurant proper.  Mousse heard Ranma and
Akane talking, but they quieted as he placed their bowls in front of
them.  Mousse then pulled up a chair and sat across from them.
Alhough he didn't relish eating with with the fiend Saotome, this was
the farthest he could get from the old ghoul.  Mousse was starving,
but he only poked at his noodles with his chopsticks.  He felt very
stressed, worn out. The pressure of his unrequitted love for Shampoo
over all the years was finally begining to take a toll.
    "Mousse, is Shampoo here?" Ranma asked.
    "If she isn't tattooed to your face, Saotome, then she isn't
here," Mousse answered without looking up.
    Good, maybe he could ask then and not be interrupted.  Ranma
looked at Akane, who nodded encouragingly, "Mousse, do you consider me
your friend?"
    "Not as long as you toy with the heart and soul of my Darling
Shampoo."
    "See!?" Ranma snapped at Akane, throwing his arms up in the air,
"What did I tell you Akane?"
    "it's not as bad as you think," She told him.
    Mousse looked up, this sounded interesting, "What is the sourse of
your distention?"
    "Ranma believes that he doesn't have any real friends," Akane told
him, "How he came up with this is beyond me."
    "It's true!" Ranma griped, "Look at Ryoga!  Don't see him for over
a year, then one day Boom!  he appears from nowhere trying to kill me.
He still can't talk to me without threatening me.  Shampoo tried to
kill me until she found out I'm a guy, now she won't leave me alone.
She treats me more like a possesion than a person.  Even Uc-chan tried
to get revenge when she first came to town.  At least You've calmed
down, Mousse.  You stopped trying to kill me and concentrated on
Shampoo."
    "It's your own fault, Saotome."  Mousse told him, adjusting his
glasses, "if you would only straighten up your act--"
    "listen Mousse," Ranma interrupted, "I'll be the first to admit
that I could be less like a jerk--"
    "Finally!  He admits it!" piped in Akane.
    "--But, I don't act nearly as bad as everyone thinks I do, most of
all Akane here!" Ranma finished, glaring at her.
    "What? what are you trying to say?" Akane snapped.
    Mousse winced, envisioning the property damage to come as he
started on his Ramen.
    "Okay, Akane, let me give you a scenario. Here's Ranma walking
down the street, minding my own buisness, then here comes Shampoo,"
Ranma clenched both hands in front of him and gave huge cow eyes,
imitating a girl pleasantly surprised, "Oh, Ranma!  Ne Haio!  you take
Shampoo date now, yes?"
    Mousse choked and half smiled at this imitation of Shampoo.
    "Now tell me Akane, what happens next?"
    "You celebrate your perversions by entwining your writhing bodies
in a dance of fevered lust," Akane growled, her eyes flashing in
anger.
    Both Ranma and Mousse had to take a moment to let this sink in.
    "that was a... detailed description..." Ranma finally muttered,
"But that's what you Want to see.  What you fail to notice is
that Shampoo makes me Very uncomfortable when she does that.  I keep
trying to get away but then she tries to bribe me with instant
nannichuan or secret herb #901 or Phoenix pills, then You come along
and hit me in the head with something, telling ME to leave HER alone!"
    Akane turned her nose into the air, "it looks like your enjoying
it to me!"
    "You are so Uncute!"
    "Pervert!"
    "Tomboy!"
    Oh boy, "If you two stop fighting, then the Ramen is on me,"
Mousse interjected, hoping they would stop.
    To his surprise, the two of them stopped, stuffing their faces
with noodles.
    After a moment, Ranma looked up, "Mousse, when was the last time
you got out?"
    "Huh? What do you mean?" Mousse asked.
    "I mean, every time I see you do something social, it's because
Shampoo is doing it.  If your not chasing her, you're slaving away
here.  When did you go out by yourself last?"
    Mousse thought about this.  It had been awhile... "What are you
trying to say, Ranma?"
    "Akane and I just won four tickets to a rock concert last night.
Now, we were gonna ask Ryoga and Uc-chan if they wanted to go, but
tell me if this sounds better; We give you one of the tickets.  you
either find a date or go stag, but either way, you leave Shampoo here.
In fact, don't even tell her where your going."
    "Why should I keep my whereabouts a secret from Shampoo's
knowledge?"
    "Yeah Ranma, why should he?" Akane asked.
    "Because, you Baka's, if Shampoo finds out she's gonna think I
want to date her, then the two of you are gonna get mad and none of us
will have any fun.  Mousse, if you go out and do something without
her, Maybee she'll start to wonder, and she'll start to treat you
better."
    "I had not considered this," Mousse mused, "May I take awhile to
ponder this turn of events?"
    "um... yeah, whatever you said..." Ranma agreed.
    The door opened as someone entered the restaurant.
    "Oh, Ranma!  Ne Haio!  You take Shampoo date now, yes?"
    The three turned to see Shampoo bounding towards them, leaping
through the air with her arms outstreatched.
    "Now's your chance Mousse!  Go for it!"  Ranma yelled.  Grabbing
Mousse by the shirtfront, Ranma heaved him through the air and into
Shampoo.  Shampoo latched onto him automaticly as they crashed to the
floor.

    Mascara came bounding back into the Tiger Quick, causing several
customers to goggle.
    "<He's there! He's there, just like Kasumi said!>" She exclaimed
excitedly.
    "<Excellent,>" Her great aunt smiled, "<you know what to do, my
dear.>"
    "<But Auntie... SHE'S there as well!>"
    "<You know Amazon law, Mascara,>" Great auntie goblin chided
gently, "<If an obsticale is in your way, Remove it.>"

    Shampoo lay on top of Mousse, squeezing him like a teddy bear.
Mousse was off somewhere, dancing on clouds.  Then, he made his
mistake.
    "Sh-Shampoo..."
    Shampoo stared straight into his glasses.  Then, with a scream she
stood straight up.  One deft kick sent Mousse flying straight into the
kitchenwhere dishes were heard crashing and water splashing.  A second
later an angry Muu-Muu Chan came flapping out onto the counter,
quacking angrily.
    "Stupid Mousse," Shampoo stamped her foot, "Always getting in
way!"  She turned towards Ranma, holding her arms wide, "Ranma! You--"
    A faint whistle filled the air.  The front door to the Neko-Hanten
exploded.  Just a second before, Ranma sensed danger and jumped behind
the counter, carrying Akane and Muu-Muu chan with him.  The bowls of
Ramen went sailing and soaked Muu-Muu chan, reverting him back to
Mousse.
    A Chinese girl stood stood in the doorway.  She had red hair,
lighter than Ranma-chan's.  In fact, it almost appeared orange.  her
clothes were identical to Shampoo's but were light blue.  She wore a
necklace and Bracelets of heavy metal beads, and in her hands she held
two metal hoops with wavy blades, called fire wheels.
    And she was glaring straight at Shampoo.
    "Mascara!" Shampoo grunted in anger.
    "Shampoo, I come to claim beloved and make husband.  You no stand
in way or me have to remove!"
    "You no take him!  Beloved belong to Shampoo!"
    Three pairs of eyes peeked up from behind the counter.
    "Ran-ma! Well!?"
    "Don't look at me, I've never seen her before in my life!"
    "Still, something about the mysterious young lady does seem to
strike a chord of recognition..."
    Battle auras flared around the two amazons, sparks snapping in the
air. Before the two could leap at each other, however, Cologne was
there, blocking their way with her staff.
    "Enough!  This is neither the time nor place for this foolishness.
Besides, you're scaring the customers!"
    "Funny, I thought it was your face that was scaring them."
    Everyone turned to the new voice.  It was hard enough to believe
that a human being could become as old and wrinkled as Cologne, but
now a second individual had just come public with the fact that she
had been similarly cursed.
    The small woman stood in the doorway, fanning herself.  She was in
red silk robes, her long brown hair, which was slightly shorter than
Cologne's, tied back in a braid.
    "Hairspray!" Cologne hissed, "What are you doing here?"
    Ranma, Akane, and Mousse sat up on the counter, munching on a bag
of popcorn.  This was getting interesting.
    "Now don't tell me you missed me, dearie..." Hairspray cackled,
fanning herself, "What's it been, 75 years?"
    "You cannot interfere." Cologne snapped, "Ranma is rightfully
engaged to Shampoo!"
    "I'm not gonna Marry her!"
    "Quite son-in-law, Ranma beat Shampoo in hand to hand combat.  In
accordance to tribal law, he must marry Shampoo.  He is my future
Son-in-law!"
    "Oh, go soak your dentures, you old bat," Hairspray waved Cologne
away.  She leapt up onto a counter stool and scrutinizesd Ranma, who
recoiled in horror.
    "So, you're Ranma, eh?" Hairspray said, jabbing him with her fan,
"Must be a strong fighter to beat Shampoo.  You could probably beat my
Mascara as well.  Hell, if you were a few years older, I'd be tempted
to ruffle the covers with you!"
    Ranma fell back over the counter, panicstricken, Mousse and Akane
felt nauseous.
     "Hmm, doesn't handle shock too well, does he?" Hairspray cackled.
"But you needn't worry about your Ranma, we have no interest in that
one."
    "You don't?" Cologne asked, surprised.
    "You no want Ranma?" Piped Shampoo.
    "I thought everyone wanted Ranma," Akane whispered to Mousse.
    "If you don't want Ranma, then why are you here?" Cologne asked,
eyes squinting.
    "Oh, it's quite simple," Hairspray looked at Mascara.  Mascara's
eyes danced with anticipation.
    Hairspray pointed at Mousse with her fan, "Mascara wishes to marry
him!"
    "M-me?" Mousse gasped.
    "Nihao!! My Darling!" Mascara jumped into Mousse's arms, knocking
both of them behind the counter.  Ranma leapt out from behind the
counter, as it was obvious that someone else wanted to use the space.
loud kissing noises filled the air.
    "Atta Girl! Show no mercy!" Prompted Hairspray.
    Everybody looked at Hairspray, then facefaulted.
    "Mascara...want marry... Mousse??" Shampoo asked in disbelief.
    Mascara's head popped up from behind the counter, "You bet! No
stand in way or Mascara get mad!"
    Everyone was quiet, then, slowly, Cologne and Shampoo started to
laugh.
    "What funny?" Mascara started getting mad.
    "I dunno, I kinda like the idea," Ranma supplied.
    "How romantic," Akane said, eyes shimmering, "She came all the way
from China to find the one she loves."
    "Shampoo say, you want big stupid, you take him, Shampoo no care."
    "Indeed, you may have that one, he's yours.  I can always find
another waiter." Cologne agreed.
    "Wait, Shampoo!" Mousse tried to crawl over the counter, his face
covered with lipstick kisses, "It's not what you think at all!  You
know I love you!"
    "Stupid Mousse!" Shampoo beaned him over the head with a Bombori.
    "<So, this will be decided in Combat!>" Mascara shouted in chinese,
"<I shall free my love from your evil curse!>"
    Several things happened at once.  Mascara leapt towards Shampoo,
brandishing her weapons.  Cologne brought her staff around to throw
Mascara, but found her staff blocked by Hairspray's fan.
    "Let the children settle this themselves," Hairspray warned.
    Ranma grabbed Akane and fell back behind the counter.  Having
dealt with Chinese Amazons before, he didn't want he or Akane being
trapped by their laws again.
    Shampoo blocked the incoming firewheels with bombori pulled from
nowhere, the sound of the clashing weapons deafening.
    "<Give up,>" Shampoo smirked, "<You've never been able to beat
me,>"  Shampoo flipped above Mascara and attempted to knee strike her
head.
    Mascara swept her leg into the air, knocking Shampoo aside.
Shampoo landed on one foot, swinging around into a kick.  Mascara
ducked and attempted to sweep Shampoo's leg out.  Shampoo nimbly
hopped over the attempt, bringing both Bombori down to strike her foe
in the head, but found her weapons tangled in the blades of mascara's
wheels.
    "<Let's get it right, Shampoo, you've never been able to beat me,
either!>"
    "Can't you do something to stop them?" Akane asked Mousse, hauling
him up over the counter.
    "Tribal law forbides me," Mousse said, "However, we could remove
the catalyst to their problem and maybe the situation will resolve
itself."
    Mascara's and Shampoo's hands and feet moved at blinding speeds,
attacking and blocking.  Cologne and Hairspray watched with great
interest.
    "Huh? what was that?" Ranma looked puzzled.
    Akane glared at him, "He said that if we sneak out the back maybe
they'll stop fighting when they see Mousse is gone."
    "My point exactly, Akane," Mousse agreed, hopping down.

        Akane, Ranma, and Mousse sat on a bench in the park near the
pond, feeding bread crumbs to the ducks.  Kids were running around,
playing.  Ugly dog shuffled up to them and laid down by Mousse's feet.
    "Just what I need," Mousse said, bending forward to scratch the
dog's ears, "Another admirer."
    "Yeah, well better you than me, Mousse." Ranma said, bored.  "Hey,
is that thing following us?"
    "Mousse, what are you going to do?" Aklane asked, tossing more
bread.
    "About what, Akane?"
    "About Mascara, Mousse. a perfect stranger shows up from nowhere
and she says that she wants to marry you?  What are you going to do?"
    "What did you two do?" Mousse asked.
    Both Ranma and Akane opened their mouths, then shut them.  They
fed more bread in silence.
    "Do not worry, Akane, My heart belongs to my darling Shampoo.  I
will simply explain this to Mascara."
    "Oh, that's a good one," Ranma snorted, "I'll simply explain to
the chinese amazon that she can't marry me.  Listen Mousse, just who
Is this Mascara chick anyway?"
    Mousse sat back, sighing, "I was not sure when I first saw her,
but now I am convinced of who she is.  Mascara grew up in the same
tribe with Shampoo and myself. Shampoo and her were great rivals,
always training to outdo the other.  They have never been able to beat
the other, why she wishes to marry me is a mystery.  Perhaps some of
Ranma's luck is rubbing off on me."
    "Your welcome to it."
    "So what about this Hairspray woman?" Akane continued to probe.
    "If I remember right, she was part of the Amazon tribal councel,
but she quit to travel the world.  I believe she is Mascara's great
aunt.  Her and Cologne were also rivals.  That, at least, seems
obvious as they weren't happy to see each other.  I can say right now,
however, I seem to like Hairspray better than I like the old ghoul."
    Ugly dog licked Mousse's hand.
    A little boy slowly walked up.  he stopped a few feet away and
looked at them.
    The three young people smiled at the little boy, "It's okay, Akane
said, "C'mon over."
    The boy came over and began to pet Ugly Dog.  Ugly Dog stood up
and began to lick the boy's face in response.  Any other child would
have laughed at this, but this boy didn't look happy.  Ugly dog sat
down and pawwed the boy's leg.
    "Little friend, what is your name?"  Mousse asked after a moment.
    "Moriyama Yuji," The boy replied sullenly, still petting Ugly Dog.
    "Well, the young lady here is Akane, the..." Mousse paused,
swallowing, "Gentleman is Ranma, and I am Mousse.  Please tell us what
is troubling you?"
    Yuji pointed to a group of children and said "Her."
   The three looked.  Admidst one of the sub-groups of children was a
pretty little girl.  It was obvious from the attention she recieved
that she was very popular.
    "Hah! Girl trouble!" Ranma cackled, "Listen kid, it don't get any
easier as you get older, let me tell you!  They're nothing but
trouble-- Oufh!"
    "Be quiet, you Baka!" Akane snapped, her elbow buried in Ranma's
stomach, "What seems to be the problem?"
    "She doesn't like me," Yuji told them sadly.  Ugly dog whined and
rested her head on his lap at this.
    "Well," Started Mousse, thinking, "Maybe it's not that she doesn't
like you, but maybe she hasn't been made aware of your feelings for
her.  Tell you what..." Mousse reached into one of his large sleeves
and pulled out a small box, "give this to her, and see if you get her
attention."
    Yuji took the box, staring at it.  Then, looking up, he smiled and
ran off.
    "Mousse, that was so sweet!" started Akane.
    "Let us see if it works," Mousse cautioned her.
    They watched as Yuji ran over to the little girl.  After a few
words, Yuji gave her the present.  Puzzled, the girl began to open it.
The box burst in her hands, turning into a small bouquet of paper
flowers.  Happily surprised, the little girl gave Yuji a quick hug.
    Mousse, Akane, and Ranma smiled.
    "Hey, that was pretty good," Ranma told Mousse as the kids ran
off.

    Genma-panda walked through the park, finding a shady tree to sit
under to eat his lunch.  Settling in, he began to unwrap the eggrolls
that Kasumi had made for him.
    Just as he was about to start eating, however, a large Tiger
strolled under the tree and sat next to him.  Not quite sure what to
do, Genma-panda stared the Tiger in the eyes.  After a minute,
however, the Tiger curled up under the shade and began to smoke a
pipe.
    Satisfied that he was not about to be mauled, or more importantly,
that he was not going to have to share his lunch, Genma-panda began to
eat his eggrolls.  A small group of children ran by.

    About fifteen minutes later, Yuji approached Mousse, Akane, and
Ranma a second time.  This time, he was holding the hand of a young
lady they assumed to be his mother.
    "Ask him, ask him,"  yuji whispered, half hiding behind his
mother.
    "Greetings young sir," The woman started, bowing to Mousse.
Mousse stood and bowed back, "May I ask you a question?"
    "Certainly."
    "Are you a magician?"
    Mousse was slightly taken aback, "The disciplines that I practice
are not magic tricks."
    "My apologies," She bowed again, "My son's birthday is in one
week.  He thought that I should ask if you could be persuaded to
perform at his party.  I am sorry to bother you."
    Mrs. Moriyama turned to leave.  Mousse saw the look of
disappointment on Yuji's face... "Wait!"
    Mrs. Moriyama stopped and turned, "I had no idea what you were
asking," Mousse told her, "Give me the address and I will be happy to
perform at your son's party.  Better yet, call me at the Neko-hanten
after it closes tonight.  My name is Mousse."
    "Thank you, Mousse-san," Mrs. Moriyama bowed a third time, "I will
call you later tonight.  Good day." The mother and little boy walked
off, her son talking excitedly.
    "Why'd you do that?" Ranma questioned.
    "Wasn't it you who prompted me to try being more social?"
    "Well yeah, but I didn't think you'd start doing kid's parties."
    "Oh, leave him alone, Ranma.  Mousse, are you going to be able to
do magic tricks?" Akane asked.
    "Well, I have a week to practice,' Mousse said, pushing his
glasses up, "Now the only question I have is which of you two will be
my lovely assistant?"
    "Huh?"
    "Say what?"
    "You don't think I'm going to suffer alone, do you?" Mousse
drawled.
    "No way! I ain't gonna parade around in fishnet stockings in front
of a bunch of kids and get sawed in half," Ranma huffed, crossing his
arms.
    "Who asked you," Akane snapped at him, "besides, the idea of a
pervert like you around a bunch of kids is scary.  Mousse, I'll do
it."
    "Hah!  A uncute gorilla like you?  I'd like to see that!'
    "What was that Ranma?  Would you care to repeat that!"
    "I said that you were a uncute kultzy gorilla of a Tomboy who
couldn't perform a magic trick if her life depended on it!"
    KA-POW!
    "I wonder," Mousse queired to the fuming Akane as he watched Ranma
arc into the pond, "Why does he continue to taunt you when he knows
you'll just clobber him anyways?"

    Ryoga stared at his map in a haze of confusion.  he wasn't sure,
but he didn't think he was in Japan anymore.  Certainly, japan had
pine trees, but not as tall as these.  And there were lots of touristy
type people, Americans most likely.  Ryoga walked up to a railing, and
saw that it overlooked a cliff.
    A few other people were looking over, so Ryoga thought he'd have a
peek.  There was a plaque nearby, so he walked over to read it.

    Grand Canyon.

    Damn, it was in english.  But the way this was set up, it had to
be some sort of national park or something.  Squirming his way to the
edge, he looked out and immediately gasped.
    It was huge, full of colors that only some spirit from the
heavens could mix on his pallette and dab on the Earth.  It was
totally awe- inspiring, making Ryoga feel small and insignificant.
    Ryoga quietly backed away, then nonchalontly walked away as fast
as he could.
    He didn't know who had broken the mountain, but HE sure wasn't
going to take the blame!

    Ranma, Mousse, and Akane walked back towards the Neko-hanten,
Ugly Dog following them.  Akane wore a smile, one that was made smug
as she listened to Ranma-chan squish as she walked.
    "You are Sooo uncute," Ranma-chan grumbled.
    "I'd better get back," Mousse finally sighed, "The ghoul probably
has a list of chore's to do now back at the restaraunt."
    "Serves her right,"  Ranma-chan snapped, "After all the places
that Shampoo has busted up, it's only fitting that someone does it to
her!"
    "Yes, whatever.  I will talk to you later about those tickets."
Mousse left, Ugly Dog running after him.
    "I think Mousse has a pet," Akane noted.
    "C'mon Akane, let's get home.  Kasumi's cooking and I wanna get
some dinner before everyone eat's it."
    "You weren't listening to a word I said!  Ranma, you just had a
big bowl of Ramen!"
    "Yeah, but that was like, Two hours ago!"
    "Poor baby! you must be starving then!"

    Mousse walked up to the makeshift door on the Neko-hanten , a sign
declaring it closed for repairs.  He sighed, that would mean that the
ghoul would really be pushing the next couple of days making up for
lost buisness.  He was about to walk in when Ugly Dog barked at him.
    Mousse comptemplated her for a moment, then smiled and patted her
head, "I'll bet that your hungry, arn't you?  I'll see if there's
something I can find for you." He entered the cafe.
    Mousse was surprised to see that the damage wasn't as bad as he
thought it would be.  Evidently, after Shampoo and Mascara had
disarmed each other, they had started throwing china at one another.
There were a few smashed and sliced tables and chairs, however.  That
was where the real damage lay.  He was going to have to see if any of
it was repairable.  Even if Cologne decided to get new furniture, the
chairs and Tables could still be used in the kitchen or their rooms.
    Shampoo was sweeping the floor, a dark cloud over her head.
Bafore Mousse could greet her, Shampoo grunted at him and steadfastly
ignored him.
    Resigned, Mousse walked into the kitchen where Cologne was busy
storing food.
    "And where have you been?" She asked, her eyes narrowing.
    "Went to the park, I thought it would be wise to remove my
presense from the battlefield," Mousse opened the refridgerator and
began to search.
    "So what do you plan to do about the lovely young Mascara?
You know how stubborn the Chinese Amazons can be," Cologne asked,
hopping up on her staff.
    "Shampoo is my heart's desire, Mascara arrive's after all these
years and thinks That I will just suddenly give Shampoo up?"  Mousse
told her, still looking, "I find the whole idea far fetched.  Where
are those meat scraps at?"
    "On the bottom shelf, why do you need them?"
    "There's a dog that's been following me around, I'm going to make
sure she has something to eat..." Mousse stopped suddenly, he hadn't
actually intended to say what he was doing for fear that Cologne would
stop him for some reason.
    As if sensing his mood, Cologne simply said, "Kindness is not a
punishable offense, go and feed your dog."
    Mousse stood, not quite sure of what to say, then, bowl in hand,
he smiled at Cologne and began to leave.
    "Mousse," Cologne called when he reached the door, "Despite my
personal opinions, I have noted the persistance in which you have
persured my Shampoo.  That is commendable.  But do not set your eyes
so firmly on your goal that you are blind to other possibilities.  My
guess is that Mascara has the same feelings about you that you have
for Shampoo.  Try and be understanding."
    Mousse walked outside the Neko-hanten, mulling over the old
ghoul's word's.  What a strange thing to say, considering.  Since when
had Cologne started to worry about people's feelings when it came to
matters of the heart?  She certainly didn't care much for Mousse as a
husband for Shampoo, she had even said so.
    Mousse sat the bowl of meat down for Ugly Dog, who sniffed it and
began to eat.  Mousse absent-mindedly petted her while he thought

                *               *               *

    Mousse jumped up as the evil hammer smashed his thumb, cursing
loudly in cantonese.  The Neko-hanten had been closed the rest of the
day as the three of them had cleaned and called in orders for
replacement dishes.  Mousse had the broken furniture in his room,
trying to repair it.
    Unfortunately, the table had other ideas, as this was the third
finger he had just mashed.  As the hot flash of pain faded to merely
excruciating, he decided it was time for a break.  That, or throw the
table from the rooftop.  Slipping a shirt over his bare muscular
chest, Mousse walked downstairs, shaking out his hand.
    Shampoo and Cologne were in the kitchen when Mousse entered.
Shampoo made a point of making sure Mousse noticed that she was
ignoring him.
    Well, fine, Mousse thought, If that's how she wants it.... Mousse
walked by her without saying anything, much as it hurt him to do so.
    Cologne gave a slight nod as Mousse walked by.  Good, maybe he was
finally getting the idea into his head that her Granddaughter was not
for him, "How are the repairs coming, young one?"
    Mousse raised his hammered pattie in front of Cologne's face.
    "Firewood." Mousse said, pushing his glasses up his nose, "Your
table is about to become firewood."
    Cologne simply giggled at Mousse's frustration.  Just then the
telephone rang next to her.
    "Neko-hanten," She answered, "How may I help you?" Even though the
restaraunt was closed, Cologne was still taking delivery orders.
    As Cologne listened to the voice on the phone, Her face took a
mystified look, "I think you have a wrong number... yes, this is the
Neko-hanten... yes, he is here..." Cologne looked at Mousse as he
pulled a bottle of juice from the refridgerator, "Mousse, it is for
you... a young lady...?" both Cologne and Shampoo watched, puzzled, as
Mousse calmly took the phone.  The two amazons looked at each other,
who would be calling Mousse?
    "Hello?" Mousse asked, "Mrs. Moriyama!  How are you?  Yes, I'm
still interested, let me get something to write with..." Mousse
reached over and took a order pad from the counter.  He began to write
down the information he heard.  "Uh-huh... uh-huh... very well...
saturday at two o'clock... yes, I'm looking forward to it, thank you.
Good evening Mrs. Moriyama."  he hung the phone up and turned around
into Cologne's and Shampoo's questioning gazes.  "That... um... that
was... Mrs. Moriyama..."
    "Ahhh... and just WHO is Mrs. Moriyama?" Cologne questioned, her
expression revealing not a trace of the slight humor she felt.
    Mousse started to answer, but then a thought accured to him.  Just
Why did he have to explain himself to these two?
    "Just someone I met," Mousse set the juice back in the
refridgerator, "I'm going for a walk, I'll be back soon."
    Mousse pulled his unicycle out of the utility closet, walking out
the back door, it had been awhile since he had practiced on it.
Mousse rode outside for about a block with no particular place in
mind, when another idea occurred to him, why ride on the sidewalk when
he could have a duck's eye view?  Pedalling faster, Mousse jumped the
bike into the air.  He rebounded off a street sign, trampolined off an
awning, and found himself on the rooftops.
    Mousse rode along the skyline of Nerima, doing flips and spins,
cartwheels and somersaults.  He even used his chains to swing from a
few lampposts like he had seen on some gaijin cartoons, the super bug
guy or something like that...
    Mousse had just come to rest on the roof of the market when he saw
Akane walk out carrying a small basket.  Mousse bounded towards her,
calling for her to wait.
    "Mousse! What are you doing here?"  Akane asked pleasantly, then
her eyes narrowed suspisiously as she assumed a defensive stance,
"this isn't some plot to get revenge on Ranma, is it?"
    "Your suspicions are misplaced, Akane.  I am here merely getting a
breath of fresh air and thought we might talk," Mousse assured her.
The two of them started down the sidewalk, Mousse still on his
unicycle, and small chatted for a few blocks.  Then Mousse seemed to
grow a little uncomfortable.
    "Mrs. Moriyama called tonight," He said at length.
    "What happened?" Akane asked.
    "I will be entertaining at her son's Birthday party." he said
quietly.
    Akane took a moment to look at Mousse, "What is it?  there's
something your not saying."
    "Cologne and Shampoo asked what the nature of my business with the
lady was.  I... refused to tell them.  I feel as if I am lying to
them."
    Akane sighed, "Mousse, we're not asking you to lie, Ranma and I
would never ask that.  We're just trying to get you out and have some
fun.  If you wanted to bring Shampoo along, we can work something
out."
    Mousse smiled, "Shampoo is not talking to me right now.  I think
Mascara showing up upset her more than she thought."
    "Or it could be something else..."
    "What do you mean, Akane?"
    "Did you ever think that maybe she's upset because she's jealous?"
Akane asked.
    "She has never acted jealous of me before."
    "She's never had reason to before," Akane mused, "Even if
she doesn't like you, she may be used to you.  Maybe she see's Mascara
as a threat to the Status Quo."
    Mousse and Akane stopped.  They were both quiet, comptemplating
her words.  They turned to each other and spoke in unison.
    "Nawwww..."
    From the trees above, the eyes of a cat watched as they walked
away.


    Mousse walked into his room, a plate of ribs and ricecakes in his
hand.  He set them on his nightstand, then glared at the broken
furniture.
    No, he didn't want to try to finish repairing it.  he shoved the
furniture into the corner.  Stripping down to just his boxers, he
began warming up for a training kata, hoping it would help clear his
mind, or at least make him tired enough to sleep.  His motions were
fluid, his body flowing through the exersice as his mind concentrated
on his problem, but after his third run, all he could think of was
what Could he do to solve his problem with Shampoo.  She was his one
true love, his reason for existing, but lately, he had begun to wonder
if it was really worth the effort if all Shampoo was going to do was
spurn him.  Mousse quickly ran through his cool downs.  No, he mustn't
think like that, he would never be able to win Shampoo's heart with
thoughts like that.  Mousse ate quickly, then decided to take a bath
before he turned in for bed, maybe things would be clearer in the
morning.
    As Mousse walked towards the bathroom, he noticed that the
bathroom door was ajar.  Mousse froze, battle senses stretching.  It
would be all that he needed to have some ancient demon, a futuristic
cyborg, or alien hunter from outer space sneak in on them, but after a
few minutes, Mousse sensed nothing out of the ordinary.  Still
cautious, Mousse made his way inside.  Turning the hot water on in the
bathtub, Mousse stripped his boxers off, then filled a bucket with
cold water.
    Grimmacing in anticipation, Mousse dumped the bucket over his
head, turning into Muu Muu-chan.  Shaking out his feathers, he hopped
into the tub, instantly turning back to human.
    Maybe Shampoo had just left the door open, Mousse thought,
settling into the tub.  However, he didn't really feel like soaking,
so after a moment, he stepped back out and quickly toweled off,
leaving the bathroom.
    And all without being aware of the eyes that watched from the
towel closet.
    Mascara slowly stepped out, fanning her face, That was...
Impressive... had she really just seen what she Thought she had seen?
Had her beloved just turned into a Duck?  That would have to mean that
he was Jusenkyo cursed as well.
    Oh, my darling Mousse, she thought, if only I had known... Mascara
started to quickly undress, after all, Mousse had bathed for her...

    Mousse was just starting to drift off to sleep when he heard his
door open.  He sat up, a set of long and very wicked looking metal
talons appearing around his forearm.
    "Who's there?"
    "Shhhhh..."
    Mousse squinted at the figure coming slowly towards him, he could
make out a vaugely female form.  the figure knelt down on the edge of
his futon.
    "Shampoo?"
    Mascara growled, drawing back to clobber Mousse for such a insult,
but stopped herself.  Mousse was very near-sighted and wasn't wearing
his glasses.  Living in the same house as Shampoo, who else would he
expect?
    Mascara brushed the hair from his face.  The moonlight shone in
through the window, highlighting his handsome face in blue light.
    "Sorry, no Shampoo."
    The Talons disappeared.  Mousse fumbled for his glasses, but
instead grabbed his alarm clock.  Mousse tried to peer at her through
it.
    "Are you wearing a watch?  I hear ticking..."
    Sighing, Mascara pulled the clock from Mousse then picked up his
glasses and set them on Mousse's nose.  He peered at her, then jerked
back.
    "Mascara!" He sounded slightly angry, "You shouldn't be here..."
He peered at her again, doing a double take, "Where are your clothes?"
    "I wear towel," Mascara replied, "Most men no mind beautiful girl
sit on bed with no clothes.  Where Mousse clothes go?"  She ran a
finger down Mousse's chest, making him blush.
    "Mascara, you really shouldn't be here.  This is my room, you
really shouldn't even be in this house!"
    Mascara switched to cantonese, "<Mousse, I have traveled all the
way from our home village to see you, to be near you.  I'll not hurt
you, I will not do anything unless you desire it.  If you want me to
leave, I will leave.>" Mascara began to stand.
    Much to both of their surprise, Mousse reached to touch her wrist.
    "<I... I do not suppose it would hurt if you wanted to stay and
talk...>"
    Smiling, Mascara sat back down.

    Morning...

    The phone to the Tiger Quick rang.  Hairspray answered it with a
cheery "Moshi Moshi, Tiger Quick, how may I help you?  Kasumi!  How
are you this fine morning?  What was that?  Leather goods...?  Yes, we
can clean leather... Confidential? I suppose... we can keep it
confidential... well, I will see you later then, Bye-Bye!"
    As Hairspray hung up the phone, she suddenly felt a powerful
presence of evil.
    "Time to test my new burglar alarm," she grinned evilly.

    Happosai stared at the pile of undergarments before him, his eyes
misting, a smile spreading across his craggy ancient face.  To think,
that such lovely silken caressers of feminine virtues had been waiting
for him, the humble and heroic Happosai!
    "Hold us!" the alluring lingere called with siren-like tones,
"Take us from this horrible place!  Hold us in your manly arms and
take us home!"
    "Not to worry, my pretties!" Happosai sighed, burying his face in
their velvety embrace, "Happosai will take care of you."  He began to
place the bras and panties into his sack, their cheers of joy and
celebration filling Happosai's ears.
    That's when Happosai sensed a powerful presense.  A deep throaty
growl sounded behind him.  Happosai began to sweat.
    Happosai turned slowly to see a very large tiger smoking a pipe
staring at him.
    Happosai smiled widely.
    The Tiger smiled back, showing two rows of large pointy teeth.
    Pow!  Slap!  Smack!  Rip!  Crunch!  Chew!  Maul!  Snap!  Rend!
Break!  Punch!  Claw!  Roar!  Squash!  Bite!  Kick!
    With a scream, Happosai rocketed through the roof and into the
air, a trail of undies following him.
    The tiger dusted it's paws, grinning happily.
    That's when the Happo-fireburst that was left behind went off.

    Damn, it almost worked, Hairspray thought.

    Cologne and Shampoo were busy getting the Neko-hanten ready for
their lunch opening.
    "Where is that good for nothing Mousse?"  Cologne finally huffed,
"Shampoo, go knock on his door and see what's keeping him."
    "Yes, great-grandmother," Shampoo reluctantly replied.  She slowly
walked up the stairs.
    Cologne was chopping vegetables when she heard Shampoo's scream.
Grabing her staff, Cologne bounced up the stairs and down the hallway
to Mousse's room in time to see Shampoo with two fistfulls of Mousse's
hair repeatedly smashing his forehead into the floor while Mascara,
dressed only in one of Mousse's oversized shirts, tried to pull her
off.
    "Granddaughter, stop this at once!" Cologne ordered.  When Shampoo
didn't stop, Cologne rapped her on the head with her staff, stunning
her.  Mascara yanked Mousse to the side and cradled his head to her
breast,  Mousse was too dazed to say anything.
    "Now, what is the meaning of this!?"  Cologne demanded.
    Shampoo and Mascara began shouting at each other in Cantonese.
    "Quiet!" Cologne shouted over them, "One at a time," she pointed
at Shampoo, "You first."
    "Shampoo open door to find floozie on top stupid Mousse.  Shampoo
teach Mousse lesson!"
    Cologne pointed at Mascara, "And just what were you doing on top
of Mousse?"
    "I come spend night with Mousse, up all night talking.  You two no
care Mousse's feelings, stay out our buisness!"
    "Young lady, this is my house.  As long as Mousse stays here, I
will not tolerate these sorts of going ons." Cologne warned her.
    Mousse wrenched himself away from Mascara and threw himself at
Shampoo's feet, "Please, Shampoo, it's not what you think!  We only
talked!  It was completely innocent!  It's you that I desire!"
    "Oh Mousse, you big silly," Shampoo said with a pleasant smile,
"Shampoo desire you too."  She held out her arms too him.
    Shakily, Mousse stood up.  Seeing Shampoo still smiling, he began
to walk into her embrace.
    Shampoo siezed his wrists, then brought her knee up into his
crotch as hard as she could.  Mousse doubled over, a look of surprise
and horror crossing his face.
    "Shampoo Desire you Get Out!" She screamed.  One hand grabbing his
hair, the other the back of his boxers, Shampoo bumrushed Mousse to
the window and hurled him from it.  Shocked, Mascara ran to the window
expecting to see Mousse a splotch on the sidewalk, but saw that Mousse
had found a nice soft Ranma to land on.
    Eyes flashing, Mascara turned and backhanded Shampoo. "Bitch!"
she screamed in Cantonese.  Before the Amazon death duel could
commence, Cologne blocked both Shampoo and Mascara with her staff.
    "Shampoo.  Downstairs.  Now."
    "But Great grandmother--'
    "I SAID NOW!"
    Grumbling, Shampoo stormed from the room.
    Cologne then turned to Mascara, "Young lady, you have twice
disrupted my home.  I will thank you not to do so again!"  Cologne
then pointed to the door.
    Mascara picked up Mousse's glasses, then ran from the room.

    Ranma and Akane were walking down the street as they made their
way to school when a screaming Mousse suddenly came flying out a
second story window on the Neko-hanten to land on Ranma.
    "You'd think they'd have a sign warning to watch for falling
Mousse," Akane quipped.
    "Akane, can you help me?" Ranma muttered, "I seem to have
something in my eye..."
    "I'm going to... throw up... my testicles now..." Mousse gasped in
a very strained voice, "Somebody... please watch... where they
roll..."
    "C'mon," Akane grunted, trying to pull the two apart, "Let's get
you out of the street."
    Ranma groggily stood up, then shook his head to clear the cobwebs.
Mousse was quite happy to stay where he was.  As the two tried to move
him, he feebly waved them off, choking, "Don't touch me!"
    "You hear him, leave alone,"
    Mascara walked out of the Neko-hanten and over to Mousse, clad
only in one of his oversized shirts.  She knelt by Mousse and began to
stroke his forehead, "Poor Mousse been through enough."
    Ranma and Akane looked at each other, then to the scene before
them.
    "Alright, there's a lot more going on than you're saying," Ranma
said, "Why'd Mousse come sailing out the window and onto my head?"
    A shadow fell over them.  Mascara jerked Mousse aside as a
footlocker crashed into the street where he had just been laying.
    "Damn!" Shampoo shouted from the second story bedroom window,
"Missed!" well, maybe she'd have better luck with the futon...
    The four began to duck and dodge as all of Mousse's possesions
came crashing to the street, Mousse could only watch in shock.
    As the last items came raining down, Shampoo shouted, "Stay out
Mousse, Shampoo want never see again!  If stupid Mousse come back,
Shampoo not be so nice!"
    "Why are you doing this, Shampoo!?" Mousse was finally able to
shout back, "if you'd only let me explain--"
    "Nothing to explain!  Shampoo Hate Mousse!  Have always hated
Mousse!  Make Shampoo sick to look at Mousse!"  Shampoo hurled a
bombori, plastering Mousse in the face, then she slammed the window
shut hard enough to shatter the glass.
    Mousse, shakily regaining his feet, pulled the concrete mace from
his face.  His friends watched as he flushed a bright red, then, in an
anguish filled voice screamed "SHAMMMPOOOOO!"
    Spent, Mousse collapsed to his knees.
    "Wow, hard luck." Ranma muttered.
    Mousse slowly sat up, trying to regain his dignity.  Mascara
reached out to help him up, but he slapped her hand away.
    "This is your fault,' Mousse said in a barely controlled voice,
"None of this would have happened if you hadn't come here."
    "Mousse--"
    "Leave me alone."
    "Mousse, I just--"
    Mousse flashed her a look of anger, "Are you Deaf!?  I told you to
leave me alone!  Haven't you done enough?"
    Shocked, Mascara slowly backed away.  Then, dejected and sobbing,
she ran across the street to the Tiger Quick.

    Shampoo burst into her room, seething.  Throwing Mousse's
belongings into the street hadn't done enough for her.  Shampoo
grabbed her own table and flung it across the room.
    "Shampoo Hate You Mousse!" she choked as she fell on her futon,
plummeling the mattress with her fists, "Why you do that with-- that-
that- Girl!! You make Shampoo very Angry! SHAMPOO HATE YOU!"
    The Aamazon's words of protest turned to emotional gasps of tears.
Shampoo cried her rage into her pillow.
    "Shampoo love you Mousse," she sobbed softly.




    Shampoo went to the storage room in the back of the Neko-hanten.
Great Grandmother would be gone for most of the day.  A good thing,
for if she knew what Shampoo was up to, Cologne would do everything in
her power to stop her.
    Shampoo began to dig through the crates and boxes.  Carefully, so
as to reduce the signs of rumaging.  For almost an hour, Shampoo
searched for her goal. Finally, Shampoo discovered a small crate.
Opening it, a small ivory box was revealed.
    Slowly, almost reverently, she opened the box.  Inside were
several old parchment scrolls.  Shampoo smiled wickedly as she
unrolled the aged paper.  Yes, these were the techniques she was
looking for...


    Well there you have it. I hope you enjoy it. The time limit on
this challege will be two months. Please send your responses to
Ridgewolfe@hotmail.com
    I look foreward to your responses. Remember, the challenge is for
you to tell how the story will end. Use lots of imagination!
 Good Luck!
-Superdude.