From: Rilian <narnia@webquest.com>
Subject: Re: [FFML] [EVA] Neon Genesis Evangelion: Beyond Terminal
Veliocity 2
We didn't respond to this? Sheesh, what was I thinking!
At 06:45 PM 2/18/98 PST, you wrote:
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Beyond Terminal Velocity
Chapter 2 - Got That Sinking Feeling
By ?????
--------------
<SNIP>
"HEY! CATCH MY HAT!! STOP IT!!" Toji cried, desperately seeking to
catch his hat before it *GASP* flew off the deck and into the ocean.
It came to rest at a girl's shoe. Toji relaxed and reached for it.
The
foot moved and stomped on the hat.
"Hello, Misato." The owner of the foot said, ignoring Toji cries of
anguish.
"Hello Asuka. You've certainly grown taller since the last time I
saw
you." Misato replied.
"And my figure's filled out too." Asuka said, displaying her assets
as
Toji managed to wiggle his hat free from underneath Asuka's foot.
... Why is the hat so important.
To bring Toji into the perfect range to look up Asuka's dress, of
course.
Just then, the wind picked up, blowing Asuka's skirt up. Toji stared
while Kensuke zoomed in. *SMACK* *SMACK*
"HEY!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!!?" Toji growled.
"Consider it the viewing fee. What do you think?" Asuka asked,
smiling.
"It's overpriced, so here's your change!" Toji said, pulling down his
pants and boxers.
Shinji and Kensuke turned away as Misato attempted to make herself
invisible. *SMACK* Toji, now with his pants up and two slap marks on
his cheeks, watched as Asuka calmly walked past him.
Pervs, the lot of 'em.
You're telling us!
"Shinji Ikari, meet-" Misato began.
"Asuka Langely Soryu." Asuka replied.
"Asuka, this is Shinji Ikari. The pilot of Unit 1." Misato said.
"Hi. Nice to meet..." Shinji's voice trailed off.
"Hmmmm, not much to look at." Asuka said.
"Misato, I have to know. Is she the descendant of Forest Gump?"
Shinji
asked.
*SMACK*
"Violence is your answer to everything, right?" Shinji asked.
Asuka stared at him with pure female fury burning in her eyes.
Shinji
didn't even flinch. Asuka, realizing that Shinji was prodding her,
turned and left.
"MAN! She's sure full of herself." Kensuke said, rubbing his still
sore cheek.
[I'm in love...] Shinji thought.
<thuddd!!> What a screwed up kid.
No kidding. ?????'s going to have a huge love triangle that won't get
resolved...unless she decides to end the series with a final battle.
"Admiral Perry, greetings." Misato said.
Perry?
Perry White, editor-in-chief at the Daily Planet. Superman series.
"Major Katsuragi, what do I owe to this visit?" Admiral Perry asked.
"I merely wanted to give you the specifications on the Eva's energy
needs." Misato said, handing the Admiral a few sheets.
"Right. Take these to the ship engineers. Make sure they know how
much energy the Eva's need." The Admiral said.
"But sir, isn't this a bit ridiculous? Why in heaven's name would we
have to activate THAT monstrosity?" Lt. Commander Brigs asked.
"Why would it require the whole UN battle fleet to guard it? It's
important to be ready for anything. Whether it's a submarine attack,
another fleet or even an angel, we have to be ready to do whatever it
takes to defend mankind's last defence." Admiral Perry replied.
try "protect mankind's last defense"
Okay.....hmmm....you're right. I didn't catch that mistake.
Lt. Commander Brigs nodded and scampered off. Yes, scampered.
<poik>
This is a little pun by ?????. Lt. Cmder Brigs winds up in the Brig.
"Kent, Lane! Show our guests to the mess hall." Admiral Perry
ordered.
Clark Kent and Lois Lane lead the miniature team down to the mess
hall
just before Ryoji Kaji arrived on the bridge.
Kent? Lane? Now I'm confused.
Yeesh, Clark Kent (SUPERMAN) and Lois Lane (SUPER REPORTER AND LATER
SUPERMAN'S WIFE)
"I noticed some guests. Where are they?" Ryoji asked.
"They went down to the mess hall." A random officer told Ryoji.
"And in the future, Mr. Kaji, I would like it if you did not come
onto
the bridge." The Admiral said, his voice as cold as the artic.
Arctic.
Damn.
<SNIP>
Meanwhile, at NERV HQ, Gendo, Fuyutsuki and Ritsuko were all plugging
their ears as Mr. and Mrs. Davis made their displeasure known in
decibels.
Mack, on the other hand, had ear-plugs and was quietly reading a
book.
'War and Peace' was the title. He had started it when his aunt and
uncle began their rantings. He was currently on the last page.
Next to him was another chair that was holding another book 'Final
Exit'. He sighed and closed 'War and Peace' and picked up 'Final
Exit'.
[Yeesh, I knew how that other book was going to end by the end of
page
11.] Mack thought.
Smart-ass...
He's meant to be. Don't worry, much like the rest of the cast, he'll
have his problems. Just be patient. Until then, ?????'s going to make
him as big a smart-ass as she can.
<SNIP>
Mack didn't mind the mess. Her cat, on the other hand, didn't really
like Mack and vice-versa.
"%The cat DIDN'T come back the very next day...%" Mack sang in a
moment
of dark humor.
Nani?
Mack hates cats. The tune is from a very annoying and repetitive song
that basically told a tale of a man trying to get rid of his damn cat
and the cat keeps returning at the line "%The cat came back the very
next day, he was sitting on the porch the very next day, the cat came
back, he wouldn't stay away, he was sitting on the porch the very next
day%" Imagine having to hear this damn song over and over on very long
field trips. No wonder ????? and I are both so damn cynical.
Of course, now she could say she had more than just her cat. Now she
had a roommate. Of course this gave her a new reason to sweat more
profusely.
[I'll have to ask Misato about how she handles Shinji.] Ritsuko
thought
to herself as Mack began rummaging through her 'fridge.
"Hey! You got any beer?" Mack asked.
Beer?
Teens always want beer. It's kinda like Beavis and Butthead sort of
thing. "Beer...heh-heh-heh....Beer is cool!"
<SNIP>
"Unit 0 and Unit 1 were just the Prototypes. My Unit 2 is the
world's
first real Evangelion! But that's not the only difference...it has
blahblahblahblahblahblahblah..." Shinji heard Asuka say. Well, he
stopped paying attention when the "blah"s started.
Snort.
Heh-heh. Loved that line.
He merely nodded as Asuka droned on. Finally, when she stopped, he
commented, "So it's no different from Unit 1 and 0 except for the fact
that it's red."
"YOU HAVEN'T HEARD A WORD I'VE SAID, HAVE YOU?!" Asuka asked.
"Uh...sure I did." Shinji lied.
"Then what did I just say?" Asuka asked.
"It has a built-in CD player and a back vibrator." Shinji guessed.
Asuka sputtered.
"Well that was just a lucky guess!" Asuka sputtered out.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
<SNIP>
"What is the problem?" Admiral Perry asked.
"B-type equipment is only good on LAND!" Misato said, her shoulders
sagging.
"GREAT SHADES OF ELVIS!!" Admiral Perry exclaimed.
<whine>Oh man....</whine>
Figured it out?
<snip angel fight. Nothing wrong here>
------------------------------------------------------------
Well, that's #2!
Prepare for Neon Genesis Evangelion: Beyond Terminal Velocity #3:
Splitting Up Is Hard To Do!
See ya!
well, not much insanity, I mean this episode happened almost verbatim.
------
NGE:BTV - OMAKE!!!
Outtakes and Other Junk...
Then again, I could be wrong.
"Wow! I never thought I'd ever get to be on one of these babies!"
Kensuke said, getting hyperactive as the helicopter flew out to sea.
"So, where are we going?" Shinji asked.
"We're just going to visit a little boat of mine." Misato said,
winking.
The clouds cleared and revealed the entire UN battle fleet.
"OH MY GOD!! IT'S THE ENTIRE UNITED NATIONS FISHING FLEET!!!"
Kensuke
exclaims.
Everyone is so busy laughing that the helicopter crashes and
explodes.
CUT!!!
Oy.
Hey, it was funny at the time. Besides, a battle fleet being used to
fish? Heh-heh-heh...
------
"Consider it the viewing fee. What do you think?" Asuka asked,
smiling.
"It's overpriced, so here's your change!" Toji said, pulling down his
pants and boxers.
Shinji and Kensuke turned away as Misato attempted to make herself
invisible. *SMACK* Toji, now with his pants up and two slap marks on
his cheeks, watched as Asuka calmly walked past him. Misato has
succeeded in becoming invisible.
Hooboy.
Isn't the power of desire a powerful thing?
------
"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!?!" Misato growled.
"Ah, as I thought. She hasn't changed a bit." Ryoji said.
Misato slumped her head into her hands and tried to wish that Ryoji
had
NOT said that.
Her wish was granted. Of course, this also removed Kaji from the
timeline. The world changed. Shinji hadn't changed; Rei, Asuka,
Maya,
Ritsuko and Misato had all become anthropomorhic cat-humanoids
(MEOW!;);
Kensuke was now a bat-man and Toji was a giant. Everyone else
remained
the same.
Eh?
It's just like before. She wanted to be invisible, she became
invisible. She wished Kaji hadn't said that...well, Kaji was going to
say that no matter what, so we had him....<Shot loaded> eliminated.
Hehehehehe...And for so reasons there were side-effects. Oh well.
------
The huge angel leaped out of the water and landed on the flight deck,
crushing six more planes that hadn't fallen off the deck when Eva
landed.
"Remember, we whales mate for life!" The angel said.
The Eva and Angel burst into laughter as do the filming crew and
actors.
Ga thud.
Ga thump. Hmmm, better get that fixed.
------
Eva-02, Eva-01 and Eva-00 are standing on a hillside. Angel Three
arrives.
"All right, we all know how to play Mah-Jongg, right?" Eva-00 asks as
it puts on a dealer's cap.
Ngwe!
<snicker> That wacky omake...
------
Suddenly, the Eva was yanked off of the Angel. The angel continued
smashing the ruins for a bit before turning around.
"Here it comes again." Shinji said.
"I'm ready." Asuka said, pulling on her controls.
Nothing happened.
"What?! Why isn't it working?!" Asuka asked.
"It's B-type equipment." Shinji replied.
"DO SOMETHING!" Asuka demanded.
"Do what?!" Shinji asked.
"I DON'T KNOW! YOU'RE THE FAMOUS THIRD CHILD!" Asuka yelled.
"How about you?" Shinji asked.
"Good idea!" Asuka said, grabbing Shinji.
They begin making out. The Angel, disgusted with this, leaves.
^_O
------
Suddenly, the Eva was yanked off of the Angel. The angel continued
smashing the ruins for a bit before turning around.
"Here it comes again." Shinji said.
"I'm ready." Asuka said, pulling on her controls.
Nothing happened.
"What?! Why isn't it working?!" Asuka asked.
"It's B-type equipment." Shinji replied.
"DO SOMETHING!" Asuka demanded.
"Do what?!" Shinji asked.
"I DON'T KNOW! YOU'RE THE FAMOUS THIRD CHILD!" Asuka yelled.
"I could sing." Shinji replied.
"You don't mean..." Asuka began.
"That's right...%AH, AH, AH, AH, STAYIN' ALIVE! STAYIN' ALIVE! AH,
AH, AH, AH, STAYIN' ALIIIIIIIII-*" Shinji sang before Asuka began
making
out with him.
[Anything to shut him up!] Asuka thought.
^_O
------
Rilian
If anyone else has some questions on the series, feel free to ask.
Ben McCrillis <aka. A-kun> reply at akun16@hotmail.com
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