[Lurker and Hikaru emerge into the viewing room aboard the
Lurkerdrome, and take their seats. Hikaru reads the queue for the
morning.]

Hikaru: Anou, Lurker-kun...what *is* this?

Lurker: [looks at the...whatever it is] I have absolutely no idea.
But whoever wrote it...

Hikaru: Spells as badly as Dr. Thinker?

Lurker: You got it.

It began, as most things do, with a single thoughT, a small twist

of 

Lurker: Nothing like a single thoughT...

Hikaru: Do you think the author of this had one?

Lurker: Nope.

destany.  Reality is a  gossamer thread that most people never

realize 

Lurker: You shouldn't go around twisting destany. Or destiny either.

it excists.  it spreads itsself out into infenaty like the strands

of a 

Lurker: Excists?

Hikaru: Exorcists maybe? 

Lurker: This *fic* needs an exorcist...to cast out the spelling
demons...

spiders web, diffrent realitys suspended on the threads like

morning 

Lurker: Oh! I get it!

Hikaru: What?

Lurker: This fic was written in a different reality. One where
spelling doesn't exist.

dew.  in this infanet web there are manny earths, each depecting

what 

Lurker: Infanet web?

Hikaru: I don't even want to know. And what's a "manny earth?"

Lurker: A really populated planet? 

would have happened if destany had taken a slightly diffrent corse.

 it 

Lurker: A corse is a course, of course of course...

Hikaru: And nobody can alter a course, of course...

Lurker: That is, of course, unless the course...is part of this
fanfic!

is on one such earth our story starts.  The people of this Earth

often 

bend reality around them, but then, they were mostly ignorant of

what 

they are doing.  Alas that such ignorance did not free them from

the 

consequences.  Reality, still rippling as a result of the

cumulative 

violations.........

Lurker: Cumulative, he can spell. Course, he can't. 

                        IT'S A WARPED WEARD WORLD

Hikaru: He can't spell weird, either.

                           BY: BRYAN "SEPHIROTH" GOOING

[Lurker and Hikaru exchange a glance.]

Lurker: Get that ego under control, guy. I somehow don't see anyone
mistaking you for Sephiroth...

A bed held a figure that had no covers on it due to the warmness of

the 

night. It was a handsome looking, white haired young furr whose

face 

appeared to be of feline origins. green eyes opened and the person

sat 

Hikaru: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lurker: [turns green] Not another Oscar!

The sky was just emerging to become delightful blue with a few

wispy 

Lurker: How the hell does the *sky* emerge?

Putting on some shorts and a T-shirt, Ryu went outside. stepping

out the 

doot he streaches taking in the ambiance of the nice sping morning.

Lurker: Most people have doors. This guy has a doot. 

Hikaru: What's streaches?

Lurker: Stretches and reaches? How the hell should I know? Then
again, maybe he's staggering and retching, from having to appear in
this fic...

bending down he picks up the paper and goes inside.  Suddenly, the

room 

blurred briefly.  *What the...?? I must be a hell of a lot more

hung 

over than I think I am if my vision's blurring!  "WHAT THE

HEll?!!!"*  

Lurker: Heii, hooo, heii, hooo!

Ryu viewed a whirlpool of blurred images of his room swirling

around 

him.  Then he was falling. *"Oh sshhhiiiTTT!!!!!!!!" * Ryu dropped

down 

Hikaru: Ne, Lurker-kun, is it just me, or does this author seem to
think that words should be capitalized at the end?

Lurker: [nods] I'd noticed.

a kaleidoscopic tunnel of pulsating color and light.  Closing his

eyes 

Lurker: How *does* he do that?

Hikaru: What?

Lurker: Manage to spell words like "kaleidoscopic" right, and
misspell simple four-letter words...

didn't help he could feel himself at a verry high speed.  He opened

his 

eyes again and he could see a distant black speck amidst the color

that 

seemed to be growing as he got closer. then it was over, he found 
himself floating through the infanet void of time and space.  As he

Lurker: There's that Infanet again.

Hikaru: Must be AOL. [giggle]

looked around he could see the darkness ripple like soft velvet in

a 

gentle breeze.  While he watched this something in the back of his

mind 

told him that there was something not right about this, but before

he 

could come to a conclusion he was sucked into another tunnel of

swirling 

color.  Almost as soon as it had began it was over and Ryu found

himself 

falling through the sky, lucky or unlucky for him depending on your

point of view there was a small pool of water under him.....and 
splashdown!!.... "Mister custamer you fall in onnanekochaun.  Verry

Lurker: [groan]

Hikaru: [grimace] 

Lurker: Why didn't I see this coming?

Hikaru: Shoot me now and get it over with, please.

tragic legend of catgirl who drowned there 1,500 year ago.  Now all

who 

Lurker: You know...it's damn funny.

Hikaru: What?

Lurker: How conveniently people ignore the fact that Jyusenkyou
springs have *Chinese* names, not Japanese names.

Hikaru: [nods] You're right...

Lurker: I mean, in some cases, I can understand, but would it
*really* be that hard to connect the names of Maoniichuan and
Nyanniichuan, and come up with Maonyanniichuan? 

Hikaru: You'd think not.

Lurker: Also, if you must use Japanese, this spring would be
"nekoonnaniichuan". It's a catgirl spring, not a girlcat spring.

fall in spring change into catgirl who drown there."  "Great just

what i 

needed." Ryu muttered as he now a deffanet she climbed out of the

pool.  

Lurker: First infanet, now Deffanet? What the hell *is* that?

Hikaru: An ISP for the hearing impaired?

"Listion could you tell me how to change back?"  "Miss cutamer you

need 

Lurker: Okay, so now Ryu thinks the guide's name is Listion, and the
guide thinks Ryu's name is Cutamer. 

only use warm water to change back." The man hands Ryu a kittle

full of 

Lurker: Makes sense, giving a kitty a kittle.

Hikaru: [groan]

warm water. "Thanx." Ryu pours it on herself and changes back.

"Could 

you tell me where i am?" "Shure mister custamer, you are at the

famous 

training grounds of jusyinku." Ryu thanks the man again and heads

of in 

[Lurker twitches. Hikaru grimaces.]

Both at once: JUSENKYOU!!!!!!! LEARN TO SPELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some direction avoiding anny contact with anny of the pools. 

Suddenly 

Lurker: any

he is starttled by a loud splash and looks to see a small piglet 

Hikaru: startled

swimming out of one of the manny springs.  When it reaches the

shore he 

Lurker: many

reaches down and picks it up.  "You probly want some hot water

don't 

Hikaru: probably

you?" the pig looks up and looks a bit confused. "here i'll show

you and 

Lurker: Capitalization, please.

he sets the pig down and fishes out the thermas of hot water he got

form 

Hikaru: thermos, from

the jusyenko guide.  He unscrews the cap and pours the water on the

pig 

Lurker: Jusenkyo

and in it's place stands a young human about his hight wearing only

a 

Hikaru: its, height

yellow and black bandanna.  The boy quickly gets a long stick anf

fishes 

out his gear from the pool while i start a fire knowing that he'll

need 

Lurker: AHA! So it *is* a self-insertion fic...I knew it!

Hikaru: Somehow, that bothers me. 

to dry his cloaths if he doesn't wanna change back. .....Later that

day.  

"so ryouga i take it that this ranma charicter pushed you into the

pool 

and ran out on a fight am i right?"  "Thats right because of

saotome 

i've been through hell!!" Ryu just nods and says. "Well we best get

some 

sleep if we're going to have an erly start in the morning." .... 

Lurker: Someone should explain to this author a few things about
dialogue.

Hikaru: [nods] This paragraph makes absolutely no sense.

[snip badly-written conversation paragraph]

"Something to drink would be nice." Kasumi gets RYU a glass of

water. 

Lurker: We got the name, you don't have to emphasize it with all
caps. This isn't a script.

[snip incredibly long, unreadable paragraph]

Dear diery,

Hikaru: GROSS! He has diery!

Lurker: [sweatdrop] I think he means "diary." 

Hikaru: Oh. [whew] I was afraid he'd misspelled "diarrhea".

  I arrived at the Tendo's today.  They do not suspect annything

out of 

the ordanary which is strange as evrryone who has seen me has gone

to 

great leangths to avoid me. It's nice though.  after months on the

road 

with Ryouga.  and the Tendos seem nice enough expecialy that

kasumi. 

well looks like time fore bed.      
                                 Mizu Ryu

Lurker: Okay, that was strange.

<fades to black as konya wa hurricane plays through th closeing 
creadits.>

Hikaru: What does a BGC song have anything to do with this fic so
far?

Lurker: How the hell am I supposed to know? I can barely make *sense*
of this fic so far!

Authers note: this is still a rough draft but i had to get this out

to 

Lurker: No SHIT it's a rough draft. If it were any rougher, it'd be
John Wayne toilet paper. 

all of you. Mizu Ryu in female form; Looks: Redhead, buxom,

mid-teens.  

I'd crawl naked over broken glass and razor blades with my wrists

and 

ankles bound just to look into her eyes. Whoa Boy! Concentrated

kawaii 

Lurker: MORE than we needed to know, thank you.

compressed to the density of neutronium.  An innocent wide-eyed

face 

combined with an ample yet diminutive figure give her the

appearance of 

a pocket-sized sex bomb. This combination of traits can easily take

you 

off your guard when around her so try to keep your wits about you. 

Delectable. Plush and curvy, She has what the boys like.  Her

hairdo is 

a little funky, but attractive.  When she's off guard, she

sometimes has 

a pained, sad expression, which might be a great loneliness. 

Lurker: In other words, all your wet dreams bundled up into a nice
little fanboy self-insertion package.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
[This space for rent. E-mail:
they-killed-kenny@you.bastards.com]
---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
My hair is purple. I wear mirror shades.
Am I cool or what?
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/9502

Chieokuse desu ne?
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