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A New Name!
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By: Scott Pollert


The old man groaned where he lay, imbedded in the concrete.

"No... no more," Happosai wheezed as he struggled to recover from the
mighty blow with which his opponent had laid him low. "You win."

Towering over the diminuitive martial arts master, the giant, monsterous
form of Pantyhose Tarou regarded his old foe with a mixture of triumph and
skepticism. He had beaten the ancient pervert before, but was still saddled
with that hated name, "Pantyhose". Now, finally, it looked like the old
lech was going to give in to his demands!

"Just let me rise," the old lech continued in continued in a quiet, broken
voice, "and I will get the items necessary for the naming ceremony."

Tarou growled in warning as Happosai began to pull himself from the
concrete, threatening the little man with upraised tentacles and clenched
fists. There would be no escape for Happosai this time, no tricks or lies,
one false move and Tarou would pound him back into the pavement. 

"No need for that," Happosai tried to assure Tarou. "I know when I've been
beaten." The ancient master coughed a few times as if to prove it. When he
pulled his tiny fist away from his mouth, flecks of blood were evident on
it, testement to the fierce battle he had been fighting mere moments before.

Despite Happosai's assurances, or perhaps because of them, Tarou continued
to hover over the little man, casting a dark shadow over his every
movement. Seemingly unconcerned by this, the ancient master half walked and
half staggered over to a nearby table sitting outside a restaraunt and
pulled an abandoned glass of ice water from the tabletop. Turning around,
he motioned for Tarou to lean his head down close. With a final warning
growl, Tarou obliged.

"You're really too big for me to be dunking you into a pool anymore,"
Happosai explained, "so this will have to do. Is that acceptable to you?"
Tarou snorted, nodded,  and waved his tentacles in impatience, obviously
wanting the old man to hurry up.

Happosai raised the glass of water halfway to Tarou's head before pausing
and asking, "Are you sure you want me to do this? Pantyhose is such a nice
name!" Tarou growled angrily and struck Happosai repeatedly on the head
with his tentacles, flattening the pervert. 

"Iii... te!" Happosai pulled himself from the ground once again, looking
even more beat up and more wretched than before, though somehow the glass
of water he had been holding had been spared. "Ok, ok, I'll do it. Now hold
your head down here and I'll do it." Tarou gave one last snort of
satisfaction before lowering his head down to where Happosai had indicated.

Happosai drew himself up to his full foot and a half height and, sounding
surprisingly formal for the little pervert, began the ceremony. "I,
Happosai, the godfather and assigned caretaker of this child," Tarou's
sarcastic snort brought a short glare from the old man before continuing,
"do hereby change this boy's name. No longer shall he be called
'Pantyhose'," and here the old pervert had to pause to wipe a tear from his
eye, "from this day forth he shall have a new name. A name that speaks of
honor and sacrifice. Of helping those in need and hidden beauty. I name
thee 'Garterbelt' Tarou." Finishing his speech, Happosai splashed Tarou
with the water from the glass.

At Tarou's stunned look, Happosai chuckled gleefully. Suddenly, he didn't
look quite so beaten up anymore. In fact, the little pervert looked almost
untouched, as if the monsterous beating Tarou had given him had never
happened. "Well m'boy, guess that just goes to show that age and wisdom
beats youth and stupidity any day! But don't look so glum, you'll always
have a beautiful name to me! Sayanora!"

Laughing gleefully at his little joke, Happosai bounded off over the
rooftops. Left behind, trembling in anger, Pantyho... no, Garterbelt Tarou
howled his rage at the uncaring sky.

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Whee! That was fun!

Think I should start running now? *grin*

Scott Pollert

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Scott Pollert [pollerts@hsonline.net]