THE FLASH POINT

(The lights come up on the theater to show Flashman, Zero and J.Bison 
sitting in their regular seats.)

Flashman: Todays fic is...

(The door bursts open and three figures, their identities concealed 
by the light pouring in behind them, race into the theater.)

Middle Figure: Robot double deactivate!

(Flashman slumps in his seat and goes quiet.)

Bison: Who the...
Middle Figure: We're Baaaack.
Zero: Flashman?  Sakura?  Trident?  When did you get back?
Sakura: Well, the long delay during the parts of Otaku Leap allowed 
SOMEONE (Looks at Flashman) to finally find the paperwork that'll let 
us do both of these things at the same time.
Flashman:(Sarcasticaly) Well excuse me for not having pull with Kami-
sama and not falling under the Saya-jin clause.
Zero:(Trying to stop a fight) What's with the hat?
Flashman:(Looks at the cap on his head) Oh, my new TRIO hat?  You 
like?
Trident: Are we going to review something or just pointlessly talk 
until Tybalt decides to ban us?
Flashman:(Sweatdrop) Uh... right.  Bison, Zero, you can stay if you 
want to.
Zero/Bison: Sure.

(All five sit down in their seats.)

Flashman: Today, we are going to do an MST of those wacky folks on 
the Satalite Of Love as they review Virgin Warrior Sailor Moon.
Bison: Wait... we're MSTing a MST from the originators?
Flashman: Yep.
Bison: Isn't that sacraligious?
Flashman: Probably.
Bison:(Grins) Cool.
____________________________________


Warning:  This fic contains mature content, both lemon and otherwise. 
 If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone.
  If  not, enjoy!

[Sakura:(Angry) We're reviewing a LEMON?!
Flashman:(Sweatdrop) Don't worry, I'll cut out most of the really 
raunchy stuff.]

Crow: You mean the author actually bothered to *COPYRIGHT* this  
stuff?

[(All reviewers shake their heads.)
Zero: I believe the expression is... someone needs to put more 
clorine in his families gene pool.
Flashman: Now that's just plain mean!]

Joel: Yeah!  And how dare DIC change Rei's grandfather from a dirty 
old lecher who lusts for young girls to a kindly old man! 

Crow: And the panty shots!  Women have the right to show off their  
panties like anyone else.  How DARE they edit those out!  

Tom: Not to mention the breast outlines during the senshi's  
transformations!  Why I oughtta....!

[Sakura:(Glowing red) Say ANYTHING and I'll be RAGING like a DEMON.
(Bison and Flashman sweatdrop.)]

Joel: (imitating Umino)  And that's why I've written this lemon, to 
bring some dignity and poise back to the Sailor Moon series!

[Trident:(Shakes his head) Humans... your logic always escapes me.]


Tom: (imitating Umino) If you disagree with me, then piss off!

Crow: Hey, I'm too busy preparing my hate letter for Disney when they 
 make the *live action* version of Sailor Moon....

Joel: You think it's going to suck, huh?

Tom: Oh no....I'm sure it will remain as true and faithful to the 
original animated series as the live-action version of *Street 
Fighter* did for the video game....

Joel: Ouch....

[Flashman: TOM SERVO!  YOU GO TOO FAR!!!! (Draws glowing Sentai 
Saber) CROWN FINAL...
Zero:(Blocks Sentai Saber with Z Saber) Don't do it.  Hitting him 
would bring the kiss of death apon us all.  Just say something witty 
back.
Flashman:(Calms and puts away Saber) Okay.  I can think of two words 
that are worse.  Mortal.  Kombat.
(Bison, Zero, Sakura and Trident look ill even THINKING about one of 
the worst movies ever made.)
Bison: What's sad is that I can top even that.  Mortal.  Kombat.  
Anihilation.
(Everyone retches.)]

Tom: (imitating Umino)  Save Our Sailors Campaign!  I spit upon 
thee!

[Flashman: *Snarl, Growl, ect.*
Trident: Just out of curiosity, have we even reached the fan fiction 
yet?
Zero: No, we're still in the authors rant.]

Tom: Virgin Warrior=Crappy lemon

Crow: Umino=Crybaby

Joel: President Clinton=Horny Bugger

[Zero: Akane=Mallet.
Trident: Ranma=Pain.
Bison: Venus 5=...
Sakura: Death.
(Bison gulps.)]

Tom: Fish Eye?  Who the hell is Fish Eye?

[Flashman: Female member of the Amazon Trio from Sailor Moon Super S.
]

Joel: Hm...if Usagi has to explain why she's blond, I wonder how much 
trouble Ami will have explaining her hair color....

[Flashman: You know, come to think of it, you've got brown hair 
Sakura, how do you explain that?
Sakura: SHO-O-KEN!
Flashman:(BAM!) Good... explination. (Thud.)]

Crow: I'm completely lost....

Tom: Well, here's what I get from the plot so far....Usagi discovers 
her room slightly messed up and she bitches about it.  Then Luna, who 
dyed her fur black for some reason, walks in and tells Usagi that she 
saw Chibi-Usa at Mamoru's apartment doing homework.  Usagi jumps to 
the rather abrupt conclusion that Mamoru is sleeping with Chibi-Usa, 
yet instead of freaking out, she bitches at Luna for not protecting 
her room....    

Joel: You know guys, I'm starting to miss Oscar....

[All:(Pale) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]

Crow: (imitating Shingo)  Damn!  She's still awake!  Guess I'll have 
to settle for my usual afternoons....

Joel: Crow....

[Flashman: So his Oneshot is gone for the day?
Sakura: I'm thinking about hitting you, but that was pretty silly, so 
I'll let it slide... THIS time.]

Joel: The one with feathers and pearls?

[Flashman: O_O]

Crow: The one with leather and lace?

[Bison: O_o]

Tom: The one that's edible?

[Zero: o_O;]

Crow: (Imitating Usagi)  Drat!  I was going to wear that to Lita's 
tonight!

[(Everyone, even Trident, gets a nose bleed.)]

Crow: After all, he won't be wearing them for long...

Joel: Crow....

Crow: Come on, Joel!  Do you really think at this point that there's 
the slightest chance that Shingo won't be seduced by his sister and 
her friends?  It's a lemon!

Joel: I guess you have a point there....

[Sakura: We're reviewing THIS?!?!?!
Flashman: I SWEAR, I had no IDEA this was what it was about... please 
don't kill me.]

Crow: Unless you count Rei's creamy thighs, luscious lips and 
dripping honey....

Joel: Crow....

[Bison:(Indicates Flashman) Ladies and gentlemen, the only male in 
the world who isn't turned on by that mental image.
Zero: Only because he is not fond of Miss. Hino and not because of... 
another reason.
Trident:(Confused) "Another reason"?  I do not understand.
Flashman:(Looking humiliated) I'll explain later.]

Crow: Hmm....she must be a dumb blonde if she closes the door while 
standing *in* the entrance....

[Zero:(Draws Z-Saber) Die DUCK FACE!
Flashman:(Blocks Z-Saber with Sentai Saber) Now now.  That's not nice.

Bison: You've been awfuly fixated on Minako recently Zero.
Zero: Bite me.]

Crow: Too bad it wasn't Makoto or the door would have bounced off 
something else....

[Flashman: Mako-chan cerainly IS talented.
Sakura:(Hurt sounding) How can you like that... Amazon, when you've 
got me?
(Leans closer to Flashman and grins sugestivly.)
Flashman: Um..errr...I...ehhh...ahhh...]

Crow: (ominous voice)  Ever since that Black Day....

[(All reviewers shudder.)]

Tom: Shingo must have delicately rounded legs....

Joel: This is no time for *Games*, Tom....

[Bison: Or for *The Sleepover*.]

All: Ewwwwwww!!!

Joel: Yet another mental image I could do without....

[(Trident is staring at the screen incredulously as Zero and Bison 
shake their heads and Flashman and Sakura hum Moonlight Destiny, in 
hopes of clearing the disgusting image from their minds.)]

Tom: I wish this fic came with a "keishi gomu"....

Joel: What's that?

Tom: Look it up....

[(Everyone turns toward Sakura.)
Sakura: Don't look at me, I only translate when, (Points up) HE knows.

Voice: BIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!]

Joel: And Umino has the nerve to call DIC's Sailor Moon, blasphemy?!? 


[Trident/Zero:(Shake their heads) Humans.]

Crow: Shinto is going to need a PR campaign just to undo the damage 
this fanfic is doing.... 

[Flashman: All they need to do is make some wards that repel a 
certain pink haired, demon spawn of cotten candy and all will be 
forgiven.]

Tom: This is starting to sound like an episode of Black Adder....

Crow: (imitating Baldrick) I have a cunning plan to get us out of 
reading this lemon, sir.

Joel: (imitating Blackadder): Frankly, Baldrick,  you can take your 
cunning plan, roll it up like a newspaper and shove it in a place 
that is arguably more appealing than your face, and less odorous than 
your breath.

Crow: (imitating Baldrick)  Permission to scurry away in shame and 
self-loathing, sir?

Joel: (imitating Blackadder)  Permission granted.

[All: ANOTHER series we know nothing about.]

Crow: A dildo?

[(Sakura starts glowing red.)]

Tom: Handcuffs?

[(The glow gets more intense.)]

Crow: A paddle?

[Sakura: INSTANT...]

Tom:  A whip?

[Sakura: HELL...]

Joel:  A candle?

[Sakura: MUR... huh?  Did JOEL just say THAT?!]

Tom and Crow: ???

Joel: If you can't admonish em, join em....

[Zero: Or just pound them into the ground.]

Joel:  She's trying to resuscitate Oscar?!?!

Crow: Oh my god!  It's an Oscarfic in disguise!

Tom: ARRRRRRRRRGHHHH!!!!   (Tom's head explodes with a flash of 
pyrotechnics and a shower of sparks)

Joel: (sighs)  Not again....

[Flashman: Except it's SLIGHTLY more bearable since this is a parody 
fic.  Notice though, I said SLIGHTLY.]

Joel: Uh, Shingo?  You can jump in with your screams of protest and 
horror anytime now....

[Bison: This is a Lemon, screams of protest only occur when tentacles 
are involves.
Sakura: HADOKEN!]

Crow: Man, first it was Oscar and now this freak!  Joel, we can't 
take this kind of thing anymore!

Tom: One hermaphrodite lemon was bad enough....

Joel: Well, at least she's not into bestiality....

[Flashman: Please guys, seeing what he's already done to Usagi-sama, 
do you WANT to give Umino more ideas?!]

Tom: (glancing behind him)  Hey, Dr. F!  The fanfic is skipping!

[All: HORAY!!!]

Tom: Can she transform this piece of crap into a fanfic?

[Flashman:(Shaking his head) Not even her.]

Masturbation will never be the same for her.

Tom: Thus began the new lemon saga: "Usagi's Usual Evenings...."

[Bison: Want me to find Umino and shoot him Flashman?
Flashman: Nah, you'd probably only get Oneshot in.]

Joel: They are?   You mean, the lemon is over?

[(Everyone gives a loud cheer.)]

Joel: Gee, I have to admit, this lemon was pretty pointless....

[Zero: Very few aren't.]

Tom: I can't see how Umino can complain about DIC's version of Sailor 
Moon when this fic was *NOTHING* like the original Japanese version, 
save the names....

[Flashman: Yeah, the DIC version had some lame music, with one or two 
exceptions and they had to change a gender here and there to make 
sure they wouldn't get mail bombs but they did okay by me.]

Tom: Oh well.  At least Ami and Makoto were spared for the most part. 
 Now let's get out of here before Dr. F decides to give us a short 
too....

[Flashman: And we're outta here as well.
Sakura:(Blows a kiss at the cammera) See you soon.]

The Flashman
(Proud member of The Church Of Tsukino Usagi)

2 Months till I-Con

May The Spirit Preserve You!