Subject: [FFML] [FF][EVA]Ah Spring!
From: "Jusenkyo Guide" <jusenkyoguide@mailcity.com>
Date: 2/13/1998, 3:54 PM
To: "FFML" <ffml@ffml.fanfic.com>

Nihao!

	Authors notes are at the bottom of this turkey. C&C is always wanted and would make
a wonderful valentine.

Jusenkyo Guide

Jusenkyo Productions Proudly Presents
A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction
Ah Spring!

	It is said in the Multi-verse that spring is when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts
of love. For most of the Multi-verse this is true, but the part that is reserved
for the aniverse, well there a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of� survival.


	As a case-in-point, at this moment in Tokyo 3 the pilot of Evangelion Unit-01, Ikari
Shinji was desperately trying to sneak out of his house. He felt like a hunted animal
and the hunter could be anywhere.

	'Where is she?' he thought. For reasons known only to the hunter, Shinji's fellow
pilot, Ayanami Rei, was busy tracking him down. Rei, as it turns out, was a skilled
huntress and had managed to corner Shinji in his home.

	'This is nuts,' he thought, 'I've faced down Angels and Asuka, why should I be afraid
of Rei?'

	"Oh Shinji!" Rei called from somewhere close by.

	Shinji froze; he strained ever sense trying to figure out where she was calling
from. A touch on his back sent him screaming into the main room. Shinji tripped over
a couch and crashed to the floor. Looking over his shoulder, he spotted the colorful
form of Pen Pen, the penguin. 

	"Thank you Pen Pen," a voice said from somewhere above Shinji's head. He looked
up then quickly looked back down again. Rei was standing over him, right over him.
The fact that she was wearing a skirt hadn't seemed to register on her, or maybe
it had. You just never could tell with Rei.

	"Rei's voice hadn't change, it was the same monotone. Her looks hadn't really changed.
It was just," Shinji later tried to tell Touji, "the way she looked at me. I felt
like I was something to be hunted and captured."

	Those thoughts really didn't run through Shinji's head at the time. He was busy
trying to think of a way to run while on his back. The idea of 'I mustn't run away'
really didn't mean much at the moment.

	"There you are Shinji," Rei said, "I've been looking for you."

	"Umm, why?" Shinji asked somewhat nervously.

	"I have something to give you," Rei said, her red eyes capturing his blue ones.


	"W what is it?" Shinji asked, really nervous now.

	What Rei might have given Shinji will not be known for a while, for it was at that
moment that the door slammed open and the Second Child, Souryu Asuka Langley, came
storming in.

	Asuka had red hair, with all that it implies. "Those idiots!" she screeched, then
she noticed Shinji and Rei. "What are you two doing?" she demanded.

	A momentary look of annoyance crossed Rei's face. For Rei it was the equivalent
of a blow up that would impress Akane.

	Shinji of course reacted rather predictably, "It wasn't, it's not, we weren't,"
he stuttered out. He tried to get off of the floor, which turned out to be a bad
idea as he came up right under Rei's skirt.

	Rei didn't seem to mind, but Asuka had a different reaction.

	A few minutes later, after much screaming on the part of Asuka and much pain on
Shinji's part, things finally quieted down to where Rei asked Asuka why she came
home in such a bad mood.

	Asuka flared again, "Those idiot boys at school that's why!" she said, then she
dumped over her book bag a large pile of Valentines came pouring out.

Asuka went on for the next 15 minutes on the stupidity of boys; the idiocy of Valentine's
Day, and how sick the whole thing made her.

Rei stopped her cold with a question, "Why are you upset about receiving valentines?"


	"Because wonder girl, I hate the whole holiday. And why should you care? I'll bet
you've never received or even given a valentine in you life."

	The temperature of the room dropped by about 20 degrees. 

	Before the next ice age could be launched however, all three-book bags started to
ring. Three cell phones were snapped open and the three children sighed. Misato's
tense voice and told them to report to NERV HQ. Not even Angels got Valentine's Day
off.
	At Central Dogma, Commander Ikari was a bit worried; this was not going according
to the plan.

	The three plug suited children stood in front of the giant monitor that was NERV's
outlook on the outside world.

	"So you're saying it's not an Angel?" Shinji asked Misato.

	Misato nodded.

	"What is it then?" Asuka asked.

	"It's something we had hopped was killed in the Second Impact. We hadn't heard from
it for decades, but now�" she trailed off.

	"Misato," Shinji said, "What is it?"

	Misato pointed to where a giant form was coming out of the water.

	"It's Godzilla," Ritsuko said.

	A few minutes later the command was given to launch the evangelions to face Godzilla.


	Later on, before the tapes were heavily edited for the committee, this is what happened.


	The EVA units engaged Godzilla at the waterfront. Before the EVAs could bring any
of their weapons to bear however, Godzilla spotted them.

	Somehow, someway, Godzilla pulled a large red valentine from behind his back and
gave it to Unit-02. Unit-02 somehow got away from the pilot and accepted it with,
what all witnesses later clamed, modesty. 

	Asuka's screams of rage filled the air.

	Later, when Godzilla and Unit-02 were dancing, Unit-00 led a protesting Unit-01
behind a hill. When Commander Ikari asked as to why NERV teams did not try to bring
them back, they reported that.

	"We heard a lot of clanging, like two metal bags being banged together, we decided
that we really didn't want to intrude. 

	Unit-01 was later seen picking wild trees for a glowing Unit-00.

	Godzilla went back to his watery home, after getting Unit-02's phone number and
address, and the three EVA units returned to NERV.

	Commander Ikari stood looking out at the cages that held the EVA units. Unit-00
was now wearing a garland around its head and Unit-02 had the large valentine stuck
to the to wall of it's cage. All attempts to remove them had brought about violent
reactions from both EVA units.

	Ikari pushed his glasses up with a sigh, "And how am I supposed to write this up?"
he asked Ritsuko who was beside him.

	"Spring fever?" she suggested.

End.

Office of Jusenkyo Productions, or the JTSU Computer Lab depending on who you ask.


	Skuld and Nene put down their copies of Ah Spring!

	"And you gave what to the Guide?" Skuld asked Washu.

	"Oh it was just something I cooked up in the lab, it was supposed to make him lighten
up a bit," Washu said grinning.

	"I think you succeeded," Nene said, "Where is JG anyway?"

	"Asuka, Rei, and Shinji wanted to have a talk with him about the story," Skuld said.


	"I can understand why Asuka and Rei would be upset, but why Shinji?" Nene asked.


	"I think the two girls bullied him into it," Washu said.

	"I wonder what the world would be like if men had a spine?" Nene wondered.

	Washu grinned again, "It would be a lot more fun."

	From outside there came a scream and the sound of giant feet running after something.


	"Sounds like the talk has begun," Skuld said, "The EVA units are chasing him."

	Washu sighed, "Look's like we get stuck with the authors notes then."

	She picked up a sheet of paper and started to read.
	"This story came about because I had nothing else to show for Valentine's Day."


	"Hmmm, maybe for my next project�" Washu trailed off.

	"This is also my first Eva fan fic so please excuse me if people are a bit ooc,
of course as this is a comedy, they're suppose to be. Thanks goes to the author of
Neon Genesis Evanjelly Donut for showing me that even Eva can be made fun of if you're
twisted enough. ~_^ Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by those wonderful people at
Gainax and the 'Big Guy' is owned by Toho Co., Ltd. Suing me wouldn't get you anything
besides a lot of ramen."

	Outside the screams continued.

---
Here sir we come to famous training ground of accursed springs
--------------------------------------------------------------
|Guide of the training grounds|Ranma 1/2, Tenchi Muyo, BGC,  |
|of accursed springs, 8th     |AMG, Tank Police, Gall Force, |
|Disciple of Eriond, and proud|YUA, GitS, ADP, Evangelion    |
| member of the #SkAS#        |Project A-ko, UY, VPM, BGC!   |
|--------http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/6549 ----------------|
|Akane, Linna, Washu, Nene,   |Nene showed Mackie just how   |
|Skuld, Belldandy, Kiyone     |much she knew. Winter Blossoms|
---------------------------Jusenkyo---------------------------



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