Be warned... this isn't meant to make sense, or even have anything
remotely resembling a story.  It's just a silly little idea I had,
that I thought some of you folks might find entertaining. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Imagine an alternaverse where nothing is as it seems in the Ranma
continuum... one where Ranma, Ryouga and Akane have made their way
to Jusenkyo in an attempt to finally be rid of the curse.  One in
which...

(SPLASH!!!)

One in which Ranma has just been headbutted into a spring by a
very annoyed Ryouga.

(Ranma splashes around under the surface of the water, while Ryouga
looks on with disgust)

Akane:   (very worried) RANMA!

Ryouga:  (muttering) No less than he deserved.

Guide:   Aiyaaaaa!  You fall into "Spring of Drowned Smartass Fat Kid!"
         Very tragic tale of smartass fat kid who fall into drown in
         that spring some two month ago.

(Ranma emerges, spluttering, looking like a short fat kid with a blue
hat.  To be succinct, he now looks exactly like Eric Cartman, but with
a pigtail.) 

Ranma:   I'm not fat, I'm big-boned!

(Akane is horrified, while Ryouga simply can't stop laughing.)

Akane:   Ranma, what on earth has happened to you?!

(Ranma/Cartman wanders around, all the while without moving his legs,
and grumbling)

Ranma:   This is serious bullshit! (looks at Ryouga) Goddammit, Ryouga,
         stop laughing at me!

Ryouga:  (snicker) I'm sorry, Ranma, (chortle) I just... BWAAAHAHAHAHA
         HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Ranma:   You son of a bitch!  I'll kick you in the nuts!

(Ryouga stops laughing and glares at the Ranma-turned-8-year-old)

Ryouga:  Just try it, you little fatass!

Ranma:   I'm NOT FAT, I'm BIG-BONED!

(Ranma/Cartman charges at Ryouga)

Akane:   Stop it, you two!!

(Ryouga prepares for the onrushing Ranma/Cartman's attack, but Cartman
is too heavy for him to totally block the body-check, and Ryouga
stumbles back into another pool)

Ryouga:  (spinning his arms for balance) Waaaa-aa-aa-aa-aaaa!!!

(SPLASH)

Ranma:   Eat THAT, Ryouga!

Guide:   (nodding sagely at Akane) Ah yes, your friend fall into
         "Spring of Drowned Wimpy Kid."  Another tragic story of boy
         who drown there shortly after little fat kid drown.

Ranma:   I'm NOT--

(Akane interrupts him)

Akane:   Whatever!  Is there any way to fix this?

(Ranma/Cartman growls at Akane)

Ranma:   I'll never let a woman push me around!  I'll just be all like,
         "HEY!  Missy!  Why don't you get your bitch ass back in the
         kitchen, and make me some pie!"

Akane:   (glaring down at the little fat Ranma)  "What did you say?!"

Ranma:   Of course, in this particular bitch's case, her food would
         probably kill me anyway, so I'd just have to smack her around
         a little bit!

Akane:   NAAAAANIIIIIIIIII!!!!!  (pulls out a mallet and starts chasing
         Ranma/Cartman around)

Ranma:   (running for his life)  AAAAAAA!!!  HEEEEEEELP!

(The two weave around the pools for awhile, while Ryouga climbs out of
the spring... now looking exactly like Stan Marsh, but with a bandanna)

Akane:   Get back here, you little snot!

Ranma:   MOOOOOOOOOM!!

(Ryouga/Stan looks at the scene with bemusement)

Ryouga:  Holy crap! (watches the chase, mostly staring at Akane with a
         stupidly huge grin)

(Kunou suddenly appears [hey, this isn't SUPPOSED to make sense] and
bounds toward Akane)

Kunou:   Tendou Akane!  Suki daaaaa!!!

Akane:   Get away from me, you pervert!  (knocks Kunou away, and into
         one of the ponds)

(Kunou splashes into one pond, and Ranma trips, which Akane doesn't
notice.  She trips over him, and goes flying into another pond.)

(SPLASH!  Ryouga/Stan runs over to check on Akane and try to help her
out of her predicament.  Ranma/Cartman cowers on the ground.)

Ranma:   I knew I shoulda stayed home and ate Cheesy Poofs!

Guide:   (shaking his head) Springs very busy today.  Many curses
         placed.  Tall boy fall into "Spring of Drowned Pervert Boy."
         Girl fall into "Spring of Drowned Cute Smart Girl."

Ranma:   Cute?  HER?  You gotta be kidding me!

Ryouga:  (pulling Akane out of spring, she now looks like Wendy
         Testaburger with short hair) Dammit, Ranma, look what you
         did to Akane!

Ranma:   It's not MY fault!  The little bitch was chasin' after me!
         Not my fault she's a klutz!

(Ryouga/Stan sets Akane/Wendy on the ground)

Ryouga:  Why can't you admit that this is your fault?!

Ranma:   I would if I could, you son of a bitch!!

(The two start chasing each other around, while Akane/Wendy finally
starts to awaken.)

Akane:   Why can't you two stop fighting?  (blinks)  What happened to
         my voice?  AAAAH!  What happened to my body?

Ranma:   I'm NOT fighting!  He's tryin' to kill me!  MAAAAAAA!!!

Akane:   (looks at Ryouga, and grabs his shoulder as he passes by)
         Ryouga, please stop!

(Ryouga/Stan tosses his cookies)

Akane:   EW!!

Ranma:   That's disgusting, Ryouga.  Just because you're in love with
         Akane, that's no reason to throw up when she talks to you.

Akane:   HUH?

Ryouga:  WHAT?!  Dammit, I am not!  (grabs Ranma's shirt and shakes
         him violently)

--
I feel I should end this now, before I end up doing something silly.
Err... sillier.  I need to quit this before I turn Kasumi into Chef.
But I leave you with one simple thought...

"Oh my God!  They killed Kunou!  You bastards!"
 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
      To reply to me, remove the "NOSPAM" from my email address.
      Systems of Choice: Neo*Geo, TurboGrafx-16 and PlayStation
The Ninja Gaiden Home Page: http://www.classicgaming.com/ninjagaiden/
            My Fanfiction: http://www.scsn.net/users/deuce/
       "How beautiful is death.  Death and his brother, sleep."
 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=