[Scene opens on a news room.  Bob Anchor sits in front of the camera 
going through a stack of papers.]
Bob: Good morning, I'm Bob Anchor, and this is the news.
[Video monitor behind Bob turns on to show a large tenticaled mass moving 
through a crowded street] 
Bob: Yesterday, around noon, a collage student/fanfic author's ego rampaged 
     out of control killing twenty bystanders and providing this really 
     great footage.
[Video monitor shows tenticals crushing people and ripping them appart]
Bob: The film of the author's ego at a girls dorm, at 11:00.  And now...
[Video monitor shows a can of spam]
Bob: RPM's point.  The point of RPM's post was that some people on this list 
     are more intrested in nitpicking and critisizing a joke story than they 
     are in actualy spending the time to write a good quality review of a 
     decent story.
[Video monitor shows the words "one" in white on a green background]
Bob: And now, Number one...
[Video monitor shows a larch]
Bob: The larch.  The larch.  And now...a word from our sponsor.
-----------------------

-rod, who's gonna just puke if we have another lame-ass
      chainmail stunt on the list.

[Trotter walks into shot wearing a really cheesy red sport coat]
Anouncer: Today Super Dave is going to attempt to step over this crack...
[Trotter points to the sidewalk...theres a little crack in it]
Anouncer: Super Dave, please take your place.
[Super Dave walks into shot wearing a suit of chainmail.  He takes a step 
toward the crack, but the chainmail causes him to lose his ballance and 
he inadretantly steps on the crack.  Off screen we can hear a sound like 
a tree branch breaking and a woman cries "Oh my back".  Super Dave looks 
horrified.]
Super Dave: Mom?!  Mom!
[Super Dave rushes out of shot.  Trotter holds up an air sickness bag and 
grins] 
   -MJT