A few weeks ago I sent out a teaser of the Black Rose October
Challenge of Doom.
Now it's time to send the actual fics. Here's mine.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Natasha clutched the crucifix as she walked down the alley.
It was a risk, coming out at this time of the night, but she had
taken precautions. Before leaving her house she had eaten a
pizza with double garlic. She was wearing a crucifix and holy
symbols adorned her scarf. She was still scared.
Continuously glancing to left and right she walked on, trying
to stay hidden from any creatures that might have a thirst for
a woman's blood.
Suddenly Natasha heard a small wooshing sound. Turning
around she found herself looking at two burning eyes that
shone in the darkness of the night, boring into her very
soul, making her immobile. She drew in a deep breath, partly
from fear, and partly because it might save her life soon. She
stood there, paralysed, as the burning eyes moved forward,
turning into a shadowy form that resembled a man.
"It's a quite late, my dear." The man said. "Young girls like
you really shouldn't wander in the streets at this time of the
night."
As the creature came closer, Natasha fought for enough
control to release the breath she was holding. Finally, just as
the man was reaching to touch her cheek, Natasha found the
power to breathe out, straight to the creature's face. The two
eyes disappeared as the shadow reeled back and raised its
hands to its mouth.
As Natasha turned to run away, she though she heard the
creature mutter something that sounded like: "Verdamnt! Not
another one!" But that couldn't have been what it said, could
it? Who had ever heard of a German vampires in the middle
of the Transylvania?
Sofie run down the back streets of the village. She had to
get inside, soon. She had never had an encounter with one
of the creatures of the night, but knew enough stories about
them to be afraid.
Suddenly a shadow jumped down in front of her. Sofie had
no time to stop, and she crashed straight to it. Immediately
she felt two gentle, but firm hands wrapping around her. She
looked up in fear, straight to the blood-red eyes, and froze up
in place.
The creature smiled, showing its sharp teeth. "You chose the
wrong night to be out, miss."
Despite her paralysis Sofie trembled in fear as the vampire
caressed her cheek. There was nothing she could do about
it, though. She was trapped by the two red points of light.
Finally the vampire raised her chin with one hand and dipped
its head down. Sofie gasped in pain and pleasure as the
fangs pierced her neck.
For a few moments the vampire drank deeply, before it
suddenly snapped its head up and looked at Sofie.
"You're not a virgin, are you?" It asked in incredulous and
frightened...? voice.
"N...N..." The pleasure was gone, only the pain of the
wounds remained on Sofie's neck.
"Answer me!" The vampire's eyes once again bored to the
frightened girl's.
"N-no!"
The vampire sighed and let Sofie go. "I was afraid of that." Its
voice sounded almost resigned. For a few moments the
monster stood there, before it emptied it stomach.
Sofie ran away.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A part of the Black Rose October Challenge of Doom.
Bloodless in Nerima.
Written by Jussi Nikander, Keeper of the Sacred Ribbon of
the Church of the Black Rose.
Ranma 1/2 and all related characters are copyright yadda,
yadda, yadda, you know the drill.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later that night a bat flied in through the window of the castle
Terveydeksi, and turned into the form of a man. Duke
Gesundheit, master of the castle and a vampire of German
origins had returned from his nightly round.
Blessyou, Gesundheit's most trusted (and only) servant,
rushed to his master, rubbing his hands. "Welcome back,
honoured master! Did you hunt well, this night?"
Duke Gesundheit just turned his blood-red eyes to his
servant.
There was a deep rumbling sound, like a distant thunder.
Curious, Blessyou peeked out through the window, but the
sky seemed clear.
"That's odd. I can't see any storm." He mused.
"That was no thunder." Duke Gesundheit said. "That was my
stomach."
Blessyou turned away from the window. "Oh. No luck tonight
either?"
"No." Gesundheit answered as he made his way towards
his coffin. "No luck tonight, no luck last night, and no luck for
Cain only knows how many nights before that. Every young
maiden here either wears dozens of crucifixes, likes garlic
way too much or is no longer a virgin. Mothers are taking
their daughters to meet virile young men before their fifteenth
birthday, everybody is eating garlic more and more and
carpenters and goldsmiths are making fortunes with crosses
of every kind."
"Ehh... Have you tried umm... younger targets? Err...
Children?" Blessyou asked. Gesundheit stopped on his
tracks. He turned halfway around and gazed at Blessyou, his
horrible gaze boring deep into his servant's soul.
"I am no child molester." Gesundheit said in a ice-cold voice
and resumed his walk.
For a few moments Blessyou was rooted at place, trembling
in fear. Finally he scurried after his master.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, great master! I didn't mean to offend
you! My deepest apologies master! Please don't be angry
with me! I am just a ignorant mortal, I can't know everything a
being..."
Blessyou's tirade of apologies was halted when the vampire
turned once more to look at him.
"Enough, servant of mine. I forgive you, this time. But there is
an errand I have for you."
"Yes master! Whatever you say master! Of course master!
Right away master! What is it that you wish master?"
Blessyou grovelled.
"Bring me... travel brochures." Gesundheit resumed walking.
"Travel... brochures?" Blessyou repeated, incredulous.
"Yes. I think I need a vacation."
"A...vacation?"
"Yes. I need to go somewhere, where people aren't afraid of
vampires and thus don't know how to protect themselves
from my kind. Somewhere, where I can feed again."
"Ah, yes! Of course master! I'll have travel brochures for you
next evening! You can count on me master!"
Gesundheit opened the door of his sleeping crypt. "Good. I
expect to have those brochures by tomorrow. Good day
Blessyou."
"Good day master."
* * *
Early in the next morning, before the sunrise, Gesundheit
was reading the brochures Blessyou had fetched for him from
the village. His servant had told that the attendant in the
travel agency had become delirious with joy when he had
asked for trave brochures. The attendant had probably
guessed that either Blessyou was going on a holiday, which
meant that his master was leaving too, since Blessyou
wouldn't leave without him.Or, alternatively, Gesundheit was
leaving by himself.
After more than an hour of studying, frequently interrupted by
Gesundheit's rumbling stomach, the vampire came to a
decision.
"Tokyo, master? Where's that?" a confused Blessyou asked.
The vampire's eyes bored deep into his servant's. "In Japan,
east Asia."
"Oh." Blessyou blinked. "Where's Asia?"
Gesundheit was genuinely surprised. Didn't his servant know
anything? "You are saying..." he growled "that you do not
know where Asia is?"
"Err..." This might be very, very bad, Blessyou thought. "No."
Gesundheit's shoulders slumped. "You really should have
attended school when you were younger, instead of
wandering around in the nights, trying to spot a vampire."
"Yes master! Of course master! Whatever you..."
"Enough! Silence!" Blessyou's constant grovelling was
annoying Gesundheit quite a lot. Maybe he should have
hired the help from an agency or something, instead of just
grabbing on from the streets of the village. Still, it was one
more reason to take a vacation.
"In any case, I will be leaving tomorrow night." Gesundeit
turned to look at Blessyou for effect. "And I expect you to
maintain the castle in top condition during my absence."
Blessyou just nodded, too afraid to speak.
* * *
The next evening Gesundheit woke up early, just after the
sun had set. Normally he liked to sleep late, but tonight he
had a long way to go.
After a quick shower and brushing of his teeth Gesundheit
stepped out to one of the many balconies of the castle
Terveydeksi, where Blessyou was already waiting for him.
There was also a small pack where all the things he was
going to take with him to his journey were packed.
"I trust it that you have packed everything I requested?"
Gesundheit asked, turning his blood-red eyes towards his
servant.
"Errr... Yes master! Though I did have a little trouble fitting
that black marble piano in there."
Gesundheit raised an eyebrow. Fear was a great motivator,
but it seemed to work far better to his servant than to most
people. Still, if he had packed everything in there, all the
better. With a dramatic flap of his cape, Gesundheit changed
into a gigantic bat, grabbed the pack with his feet and rose
to his massive wings, heading west.
* * *
Washuu, the greatest mad scientist of the galaxy sat in her
laboratory, planning her next invention. The new Hydraulic
Squirt Pump Pistol (a water pistol on steroids) was going to
be great fun, especially if those packets of Instant Jusenkyou
she had mail ordered would arrive in time. Suddenly she
snapped her fingers and turned towards the audience.
"Hi everybody, Washuu-chan here! Many of you are probably
wondering why Duke Gesundheit is heading west, when
Japan is towards east. While many of you might be confused
by this, it is simple as a day for a super genius like me!"
The two mini-Washuu robots popped to her shoulders and
started praising her.
"You're the greatest, Washuu-chan!"
"Washuu-chan! You're a genious!"
Meanwhile Washuu pressed a few keys on her floating
keyboard and a three-dimensional model of Earth popped
into existence.
"Now, what you are forgetting, is that Earth is round, so if
you travel far enough to west, you'll arrive to east. Now,
Gesundheit has to take this detour, since if he flied to east,
he couldn't get to Japan without being exposed to sunlight."
The three-dimensional model disappeared in a flash of light
and Washuu turned back to her work. She waved her hand
and said: "On with the story!"
* * *
Gesundheit almost laughed when he saw that annoying duck
being flattened by the piano Gesundheit dropped on him.
He was sure he had heard the name Daffy before, but
couldn't connet it right now. It'd come with time, he mused.
* * *
After absolutely too many hours of flight, Duke Gesundheit
finally saw the lights of Japan in the horizon. It wasn't a
moment too soon either, since the sun had almost caught
up with him, and would soon peek over the opposite horizon.
The gigantic bat reached the dark safety of Tokyo sever
system just before the sun rose over the horizon.
* * *
Ukyou looked around her empty restaurant. It had been a
quiet day and she had had almost zero customers after the
dinner crowd. She glanced outside. It was almost dark there.
Briefly, she wondered if she should keep her restaurant
open, in case somebody would wander in for an
okonomiyaki, or if she'd go see her Ranchan. After a brief
internal struggle she put the 'closed' sign on the door, locked
it, and started cleaning the place.
* * *
The high-pitched, maniacal laughter of Kodachi Kuno, the
Black Rose of St. Hebreke High, floated out of the
greenhouse of Kuno Mansion. The few other inhabitants of
the Mansion shuddered.
It sounded like mistress Kodachi is very happy with
something, Sasuke thought. Which means that she's either
come up with another plan to try to catch Saotome, or has
developed a new poison of some sort. In either case, it's
going to be me who's going to end up in trouble. Maybe if I'll
sneak out right now, I won't be involved. It was a small hope,
but Sasuke was a desperate man.
The Kuno family ninja started sneaking to the nearest
window, making less noise than a falling leaf as only a ninja
can, when a feminine shout of "SASUKE!!!!" echoed through
the house, making him to trip over his own feet. Briefly
Sasuke wondered if Kodachi meant some other Sasuke who
just happened to be around. That hope was soon lost, when
Kodachi came to fetch him to the greenhouse. Sasuke
prayed for any gods that might be listening that whatever
mistress Kodachi had invented now wasn't lethal.
* * *
Shampoo hummed to herself as she put the finishing touches
on the noodles she had been making. It has costed her quite
a lot, but Nabiki had told her that Akane was cooking tonight.
And knowing Akane's (lack of) cooking skills it meant that
there would be nothing edible at the Tendo dojo once Akane
had finished. Which would mean that Shampoo's airen would
stay hungry. Which, in turn, would mean that if Shampoo
brought him food, he'd be eternally thankful for her and dump
the stupid Tendo girl for her. Or at least she'd be able to
blackmail him for a date.
Shampoo poured the finished noodles to a cup and put it in
a take-out box. Still humming to herself she headed for her
bike.
"Great-grandmother! Shampoo go now!" Shampoo
announced as she passed her great-grandmother, who was
manning the Nekohanten's counter.
Cologne took a puff from her pipe and waved at Shampoo.
"Be careful, Shampoo. No-one can know what kind of horrors
Akane Tendo's cooking might unleash."
Shampoo nodded and ran out.
* * *
The mood in the Tendo dojo wasn't very optimistic. Akane
Tendo, the youngest daughter of Soun Tendo, the master of
Tendo dojo (note: HAH!!), was cooking. Usually it wasn't
Akane, but her elder sister Kasumi, who took care of cooking
at Tendo dojo. But today Kasumi was out of town, visiting an
old friend of hers, and it was indeed Akane Tendo who was
manning the kitchen. In the living room the other residents of
Tendo dojo were waiting for what Akane thought was 'food'.
Ranma glanced around, looking for an escape route. There
were none. Originally, he had planned to sneak away to
Ucchan's for an okonomiyaki or a dozen, but Akane had
managed to intercept him before he got away. Now Ranma
could do nothing but wait for Akane's 'dinner' to be served.
Genma had turned into a panda and had tried to fool Akane
with his I'm-just-a-panda-please-don't-feed-me act, but it
naturally hadn't worked. So now he was sitting by the table,
mentally preparing himself to the horror that was Akane's
cooking.
Soun had briefly considered sneaking away to escape her
daughter's cooking, but Akane had intercepted him before he
got his shoes on. So now he was sitting by the table, silently
praying any gods that might be listening that a miracle
happened had Akane's cooking would be edible.
Nobody had seen either Nabiki or Happosai since the
morning. But that wasn't unexpected.
* * *
Duke Gesundheit opened his eyes when the sun finally set.
The loud rumbling of his stomach had woken him up some
time ago, but he was a self-respecting vampire and wasn't
going to open his eyes when the sun was still up, oh no he
wasn't. Last morning, after two hours of searching he had
found a moderately clean maintenance room, deep in the
severs. Gesundheit had been grateful that he had been
saved from the humiliation of sleeping in human excrement.
Now it was finally dark outside and it was time for Duke
Joachim Achim von Gesundheit, the last vampire of the
Gesundheit bloodline, to Hunt. Gesundheit stepped out of the
room and began to search for a manhole. Unfortunately he
didn't know that he was right under the Nerima district, the
home of some of the best, and most destructive martial artists
in the world. Then again, if he had followed the news he
would never had come to Tokyo in the first place.
* * *
Ukyou tied the bow to her hair and smiled cutely at the
mirror. Perfect. There was no way Ranchan wass going to
resist her now. She grabbed the take-out box and began her
rooftop journey towards the Tendo dojo.
* * *
Kodachi looked at Sasuke's sleeping figure. The new
sleeping powder was working even better than she had
expected. It was certain that she'd be able to get her Ranma-
sama from the clutches of that horrid Tendo girl now.
Kodachi quickly fixed a bouquet of black roses for her
beloved and bounded out to the night.
"Ohohohohohoho!"
* * *
Gesundheit easily lifted the cover of the manhole and came
out to the night. He turned into a small bat and flew up to the
dark sky. The Hunt was on.
A minute later the bat's small mouth twisted into what passed
for a smile for a bat. There was a beautiful young girl
pedalling down the road, just below him. Gesundheit looked
around. There were nobody else in the vicinity. It was
perfect. His hunger would be satisfied at last.
Shampoo wasn't bicycling on the fence, for a change. For
some reason she had felt like it. She was happily thinking
how airen would thank her for the food, when a small bat shot
down from sky and landed about thirty meters in front of her.
Shampoo blinked at the bat and prepared to steer around it,
when the bat turned into a cloud of smoke, which in turn took
the form of a man.
"Aiyah!!" Shampoo had seen several weird things while
living in Nerima, but never before had a bat turned into a
man in front of her. In her shock Shampoo lost control of the
bike and crashed down. Her momentum carried her forward
for a few meters, and somehow she came to a halt right in
front of the man. Shampoo gazed deep into the man's blood-
red eyes, and for some reason she found it hard to move.
Duke Gesundheit chuckled to himself. His dramatic entrance
had definitely done its purpose. The girl had came to a stop
right in front of him, luckily surviving the crash without any
major bleeding, and now was entranced by his hypnotic
gaze. Gesundheit leaned down...
When the strange man started leaning down on her, breaking
the eye contact, Shampoo's warrior instincts finally kicked in.
"Aiyah! Pervert cape man stay away from Shampoo!"
Shampoo surged up and planted a mighty punch right on the
man's jaw.
Gesundheit didn't even have time to blink as his prey
suddenly broke free of the paralysis and sent him soaring
over Nerima. Dazed, the vampire didn't regain enough sense
to take control of his flight before he crashed to pile of
garbage.
"Ach! What happened?"
* * *
Ukyou's journey to Tendo dojo was interrupted by the sound
of something, or someone, falling down from a great height,
followed by a loud crash and a confused voice asking: "Ach!
What happened?"
Curious, Ukyou stopped and peered down from the rooftop
she was currently standing on. A man, wearing some kind of
black suit and cape, was trying to extract himself from the
pile of garbage he had apparently landed on. Feeling some
pity for the man Ukyou jumped down to help him. "Are you
okay, sir?" She asked, peering down at the fellow.
Gesundheit looked up at the sound and saw a beautiful,
young girl looking at him. There was no smell of garlic in her
breath and she wore no holy symbols. Maybe his luck had
finally changed. Gesundheit made a show of trying to free
himself from the garbage, and not succeeding. He then
extended his hand to the girl.
"Could you please help me a little, miss? I seem to be stuck."
"Sure." Ukyou grabbed the man's hand and pulled. It felt cold
to her hand. She shrugged, the night was a little chilly, and if
he had just come down from LEO (Low Earth Orbit) it was
perfectly natural for his skin to be a bit cold. The man stood
up with her help and tried to brush the worst garbage off his
suit.
"Now, how did you end up there in the first place?" Ukyou
asked.
Gesundheit brushed off an especially annoying wrapping of a
snickers bar and turned to look at the girl. "It's not really your
problem, miss. I'm all right now." Except for the Hunger,
Gesundheit thought.
"Oh, good. Do you need any more help, I'm in kinda hurry."
Gesundheit smiled. It was the perfect opportunity for another
dramatic moment. "Actually..." He turned his gaze down for a
second. "I could use your..." He looked back at the girl, his
eyes glowing red. "blood."
Ukyou froze up when the man looked back up, his red eyes
capturing her eyes. Whatever he said after that was lost to
the young okonomiyaki chief.
Gesundheit leaned forward, his fangs extended. Finally he
was going to be able to feed. Hungrily, he looked at the girl's
artery pulsing on the her slender throat.
As the man leaned forward and broke the eye contact, Ukyou
regained her senses. The stranger was closing on her. He
wasn't staring at her face, but somewhere below it. But not
much, so he wasn't admiring her shoes either. A pervert!
With one swift motion Ukyou took her big ass spatula from its
holster in her back, and slammed its business end to top of
the man's head.
She screamed "What the hell do you think you're doing you
jackass!!!" and reared her spatula back for another strike
A minute later Ukyou stomped over the man, purposefully
stepping on his head, and jumped back to the rooftops. To
think that she had stopped to help such a pervert.
A while after Ukyou had left, Duke Gesundheit regained
consciousness.
"Ach! What happened?"
* * *
"Ohohohohoho!" A maniacal laughter floated down from the
rooftops of Nerima, making those who were still awake to
huddle together for protection and causing terrible
nightmares for those who had already gone to sleep. It was
also noticed by one very hungry, slightly beaten up and
somewhat nervous vampire. Things weren't looking good for
Joachim Achim von Gesundheit. He hadn't gotten anything to
eat, he had been beaten up twice, and it wasn't even 11 pm
yet. Still, laughter meant somebody laughing, and no male
could produce such a high pitched laugh. So it meant
another potential victim. Rising to his little bat's wings
Gesundheit went to investigate.
Kodachi jumped from rooftop to rooftop, twirling her ribbon
after her. She was definitely in a happy mood. There was
something new in the air, a touch of... wickedness that raised
her spirits. It was a good night for catching Ranma-sama.
She jumped over a particularly wide street, letting her
laughter echo through the night.
Gesundheit watched the leotard-clad girl jumping across the
town. He had seen many strange things in his life, but an
apparently normal human jumping on the rooftops, wearing
nothing but a leotard and twirling a ribbon behind her was
something new even to him. Still, something about the girl
drew him to her, something that he really couldn't identify. A
touch of the Dark, prehaps? He flew a bit ahead of her,
turned into a human form and waited for her.
Kodachi stopped laughing and frowned as she saw a man
standing on her way, clearly trying to block her path. She had
not seen him here before. Maybe another enemy who wanted
to keep her from her Ranma-sama? Kodachi landed some
ten meters in front of the man and let her ribbon fall to the
roof behind her.
"Who might you be, sir, and why do you stand there?"
Kodachi asked. She was brought up to be polite, after all.
Gesundheit smirked and started chuckling. Time for another
dramatic moment, and this time he wasn't about screw it up.
He looked the girl straight to the eye and paralysed her with
his hypnotic gaze.
"What I want, my dear..." Gesundheit let his fangs flash in the
streetlamp's glow "... is your blood!" The girl didn't react, of
course, since she was bound by his gaze. Elegantly, he
walked to the girl, careful not to break the eye contact.
Smiling, he drew a finger across her cheek. Such a fine skin
this girl had. Then he looked at the bouquet the girl was
holding. "Black roses, my dear? I didn't know you mortals
liked thuuurgh!" Too late, Gesundheit realised that he had
broken the eye contact. Again.
Kodachi blinked once when the man broke the eye contact.
She didn't know what he wanted her blood for, but she
needed it herself, thank you very much, and wasn't going to
let him have a chance to take it from her. With one sharp
motion she wrapped her ribbon around the man's throat and
hurled him to the distance. Usually she would have beaten
him up for good, but now her Ranma-sama was waiting.
* * *
Again, Duke Gesundheit crashed to a pile of garbage. He
came around, seeing two extremely cute eyes, framed by a
green hair, staring down at him.
"Are you all right'cha?" Lum asked.
* * *
"You! What are you doing here?" Three voices rang out in
the night. The girls had arrived at the Tendo dojo at the same
time. A three-way staring contest was held in front of the
dojo's gate. It didn't last long, though, and was followed by a
quite thorough fight.
Epilogue - a letter.
Tokyo. The first day of my so-called vacation.
Good servant. I have found Tokyo a very interesting
city. On my first night here I met several very interesting
people. First I had an encounter with a beautiful purple-
haired girl, who punched me to the horizon. Then I met a
cute brown-haired one, who beat me up with a gargantuan
cooking utensil. After that there was this black-haired,
leotard-wearing girl, who almost strangled me and then flung
me to the horizon with a gymnastics ribbon. Then I met a
green-haired girl who could fly and throw lightning. She gave
me quite thorough shock therapy. Sometimes after midnight I
had an encounter with a beautiful woman, who apparently
hunts supernatural creatures for living. Her lipstick turned
into a sword made of light and she completely ruined my best
cape. I took me quite some time to escape from her. Things
did not get better, though, since right after that I met these
two young ladies who were wearing leotards with miniskirts.
Called themselves Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptunus, I
believe. Those two had some serious power, so I did not
stick around after I realised that my hypnotic gaze did not
work on them. After that I met two girls who had weird artifical
sking and were made of metal. The older one stopped by me
and asked if I wanted to play. Since their idea of "fun"
seemed to include large explosions caused by high tech
weaponry, I had to decline. Too bad she was not a real girl,
for she radiated incredible amounts of innocence.
Unfortunately a stray missile from the girl's play caught me as
I was searching for some weaker prey, I had to stop my
efforts for that night.
I have decided to continue my vacation in a more peaceful
place, like Algeria.
Joachim Achim von Gesundheit.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
auth. notes.
about black marble pianos. I know that it's a really stupid
joke, but I'll keep it, since it's a tribute to a friend of mine, who
was invented a really great way of GMing. It's called "Zen
and the art of keeping players in line with threatening their
characters with falling black marble pianos."
terveydeksi means gesundheit means bless you.
cameos:
Washuu is from Tenchi Myou
Lum is from Urusei Yatsura
The woman who hunts supernatural creatures for living
(Ayaka Kisaragi) is from Phantom Quest Corp.
Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune are from Sailor Moon.
The two girls (Nuku Nuku and Eimi-chan) are from All-
Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku
I hold rights to none of these.
Thanks where thanks is due:
Kalle for the black marble pianos.
Jenna for suggesting 'Blessyou' for the name of the servant.
C&C is welcome. Send it to Jussi.Nikander@alien.nixu.fi
Jushi, the resident martian of cyberspace.
-----------
Jushi, The resident Martian of cyberspace
Jussi.Nikander@alien.nixu.fi
-----------
Compared to this ice cream the human lifespan is just
the blink of an eye.
-Jean, Nadia and the Secret of Blue Water,
episode 19.