Date: Sat, 08 Nov 1997 20:49:10 -0400 (AST)
From: Nobody <pmak@cs.stmarys.ca>
To: "Nikholas F. Toledo Zu" <niftol@i-manila.com.ph>
Cc: fanfic@fanfic.com
Subject: [FFML] [C&C][SM][LEMON] Lunar Urge 1
Ok, first of all...her name is not Bunny, its Usagi. :P I know Usagi
means Bunny but arggh, this is even more annoying than seeing someone
using the name "Serena Tsukino" in a fanfic. :P
I believe the author explained this point--``Bunny'' is how it got
translated in his native language. To me, it made more sense than
Serena.
Regarding the sex scene between ->USAGI<- (:P) and Rei, I believe that
Usagi overpowered Rei too easily. Rei is supposed to know some martial
arts, significantly more than Usagi does.
This struck me as odd, too. At the very least, this part should
probably be rewritten so that Moon takes Rei from behind (let's face it,
Rei would not be likely to have her guard up against Meatball-head).
IMHO it gets too violent when Usagi starts slapping Rei and calling a
bitch, and later on after Usagi unties Rei and Rei beats up Usagi. Many
of us lemon readers prefer the lemons that are set up by love (and
sometimes seduction), but not dominance and violence. I was hoping for
a
nice lemon scene where Usagi seduces (not dominates) Rei and makes
passionate love to her.
I would suggest an extra warning beyond the Lemon tag somewhere in the
intro. You might also want to give us some indication of why Moon
turned so violent.
Regarding your choice of pairing (i.e. Usagi/Rei), it seems a little
weird. Usagi gets along the LEAST with Rei, and isn't Rei not supposed
to
have sex until she's married, being a shrine maiden and all? Minako and
Usagi seem to be a better pairing, IMHO.
As far as this is concerned, the fic accounted for that--It was Gramps'
potion that caused the scene. I think that it was established that Moon
would have wanted any cute female who was available, and Rei was
closest. Rei's reaction was a bit strange, though--Maybe she should get
a dose as well...?
--Freemage, leaping in where he's not wanted ;)
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