>From the Files of the Goddess Review Office:

[Scene opens on a movie theatre.  A police box fades into view, the light
on the top flashing as it does so.  Christopher Angel, God of Moments
walks out of the box, followed by Urd, Goddess of the Past, and Skuld,
Goddess of the Future.]

Urd: [scowling] 'Niichan, we need to have a LONG talk about your sense of
humor.
Chris: [pouting] Oh come on...I'm a time god, after all, and gods are
lords, so I'm a Time Lord.
Skuld: Oniichan no baka!
Chris: You two have no sense of humor.  ANYWAY, we're here to review
Lurker's latest incarnation of Ch 20 of Onna: Red Side.

	Chapter 20: Hello, how are you, goodbye

Urd: He should do this like Blueseed.  'Hello! How are you? Goodbye!'
Chris: [valley girl voice] For sure!
Skuld/Urd: ^_^;
Chris: [defensively] Have you HEARD the voice they use for Momiji in the
dub?

	Lantis, Mokona, and Hikaru left the train station at Juuban. Hikaru
had changed clothing, and was now wearing one of Ranma's usual
red-and-black Chinese outfits. "Are you sure about this, Hikaru?"
Lantis asked. He, too, had changed clothing, at Hikaru's insistence.
Mokona had provided him with jeans and a t-shirt in his size, and
shoes, and had given him a way to store his armor and sword. The trio
were now headed to Hikaru's old home.

Urd/Chris: [singing] Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit!
Skuld: But it's so KAWAI!
Chris: Hikaru is kawai.
Urd: Lantis, is kawai.
Chris: Mokona is sickenning.

	Hikaru nodded, though she still seemed a bit uncertain. "Ranma-kun
wants me to do it...I want to do it. 

Chris: [singing] Let's do it, let's fall in love!
Skuld: Oniichan NO BAKA! [whack]
Urd: No Cole Porter!

I miss them. It's just going to
be so hard, seeing them again, then saying goodbye again..."
	Lantis nodded. "I can understand that." Mokona had a fairly serious
expression on its face.
	Hikaru gathered her courage, and the trio made their way to the
Shidou dojo.

Chris: Am I the only one who has a preminition of doom, right about now?
Skuld: [sniffles] It's so sad!

	"So you see, Okaasan," Umi said to her mother, "I'm going with some
friends on an exchange trip to China...are you even listening?"
	"Mmm hmm. That's nice, Umi dear," the woman said. She was busily
crafting a bento, using the soy sauce to write rather sappy things on
the rice. She giggled to herself. "Oh, your father's going to love
this," she said.

Urd: [snickers] I LIKE that woman.  She's got her priorities straight.
Skuld: [looking green] Bleah.
Chris: Ummm...[SKuld gives him a glare] No comment.

	"Mooouuuuu!" Umi threw her hands up in frustration. "What's the
use?" she wondered aloud.
	"I'm sure I don't know, Umi-chan."
	Umi stared at her mother incredulously. The elder woman burst into a
fit of giggling. "I'm just teasing with you, Umi-chan. I've been
listening. China, hmm? Sounds like fun."
	Umi breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah," she said. "Well, anyway, I'm
meeting up with the group I'm traveling with in Nerima."
	Her mother nodded, picking up the folder of documents and looking it
over. "Alright," she said. "Have fun, and be careful! China's
supposed to be a rough place. Do you need any help getting ready, or
money, or anything?"

Chris: O_O That's pretty impressive.  I mean, even if Mokona can fake the
documentation, I'd expect a little more protectiveness out of her mother.
Skuld: Oniichan, she's sixteen!
Chris: [eyebrow raised] So?  I'm twenty-two.  In mom's eyes I'm still
twelve.  You NEVER grow up in the minds of your parents.

	Umi thought, and shook her head. "Our...leader is gathering
supplies. He knows what he's doing, he does this kind of thing all
the time."

Chris/Urd/Skuld: <snicker>
Urd: They do know Ranma, don't they?

	"Well, alright then. Take care of youself, Umi-chan."
	Umi smiled, and hugged her mother. "I will, Okaasan! I'd better go
catch the train to Nerima. I'll see you in a few weeks!" Umi hoped
her time estimate was right. She had a feeling they'd be having to
hike across China, and kami-sama only knew how long that would take. 
	"Enjoy your trip!" her mother called after her as Umi left the
Ryuuzaki residence. She smiled to herself. "So young and energetic.
It's nice to see her taking an interest in travel."

Chris: Nice scene, but it didn't ring right for me.

	Umi met Fuu at the train station. "How did your visit to your family
go, Fuu?" Umi asked.
	Fuu smiled. "Quite well. My parents and older sister are thrilled
that I am going to travel abroad."
	Umi nodded. "My mother seems to be also. Well, we'd best head back
to Nerima and get over to the Dojo."
	Fuu nodded. "I've already purchased train tickets for both of us."
She handed Umi a ticket.
	Umi smiled. "That's just like you, Fuu." Both girls giggled.

Chris: [gasping] Must...get...insulin.
Skuld: [scowling] Baka.
Urd: [green] I don't blame him, that was too sugary for words.

	The Shidou dojo was spotless, inside and out. It looked like nobody
lived in it.
	It wouldn't be too far from the truth to say nobody did.
	After the disappearance of the youngest member of the family, both
parents had disappeared, taking to the mountains to train, or so they
claimed. It was the opinion of the eldest brother that they were
still searching for Hikaru.
	As he himself had been doing for months now.

Skuld: [sniffles] It's so...[Chris gathers her into a hug.]
Chris: [eyes moist himself] It's OK, Skuld, it's OK.
Urd: [scowls]

	It was the second anniversary of her disappearance, though, and the
three brothers, at least, had finally reunited at the Shidou home.
Masaru had become an obsessive clean freak, and spent almost sixteen
hours a day cleaning the house and dojo. The only thing he never
touched was Hikaru's bedroom. None of them would enter it. Kakeru had
taken to his kendo training with a passion verging on madness. He'd
made a name for himself in the competition circuit recently when he
defeated the most prominent high school kendo champion in Japan,
Kunou Tatewaki of Fuurinkan, in under a minute. Kunou had not been
particularly pleased with being bested, but he didn't pursue the
matter too far when Kakeru said that he didn't give a damn about the
title, because it couldn't change the past. Kunou had apparently seen
the haunted look in the man's eyes and decided it would be ill
advised to disturb him.
	Those who knew of the incident would say that it was the first time
Kunou had showed anything remotely resembling common sense in his
entire life.

Urd: O_O.  <snicker>
Chris: <chuckle> Nice one.  Good humour touch in the middle of the angst.

	At any rate, nobody in the Shidou house cared about any of that. 
	As for Satoru...he, like his parents, had gone traveling, searching
for any indication of what had happened to his beloved sister. He had
only recently returned to town, after sunset on the anniversary of
Hikaru's disappearance. The three brothers were now gathered
miserably in the dojo proper. Masaru was idly polishing the floor.
Kakeru was wearing a kendo outfit which, frankly, needed to be
washed...or burned. Satoru was just sitting there, miserable.
Hikaru's pet wolf, Hikari, was also present, barely...the animal held
on tenaciously, despite the fact that he had become so thin his
skeleton was visible beneath his skin. If canines could radiate
depression, Hikari would be a prime candidate for a Shishi Houkoudan.

Urd: [starts to sniffle]  Oh...hell.  [Gives Chris a plaintive look, and
he brings her into the embrace.]
Chris: This is really touching, Lurker.  Hikaru was the light in their
lives in more than name.  Very well done.  [sniffles] Sad as all hell,
though.
Skuld: Those poor people...

	There was a tentative rapping at the door. The three brothers
blinked at each other. Nobody had come around the place in quite some
time.
	"Should we answer?" Masaru asked.
	Kakeru shrugged. "Maybe they'll go away."
	Satoru frowned. "We don't need to be rude to people." He rose, and
made his way slowly to the door. He slid it open. "Yes can
I--YAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" 

Chris: [weak cluckle] Nice take.

	The other two sprung to their feet, and headed to the door to see
what had disturbed their brother so greatly. Standing on the other
side of the door was a teenage girl with braided red hair and red
eyes, wearing Chinese clothes, a tall, rather large man with black
hair, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and an egg-shaped white rabbit
with a jewel on its forehead. 
	It was the girl that had their undivided attention.	
	Kakeru gasped. "Ma...masaka..." He swallowed, going pale.
"Hi--hikaru? Is...is it you?"
	Hikaru nodded, smiling brightly. "I'm home, Oniisama."
	The three brothers promptly fainted. Lantis, Mokona, and Hikaru
blinked. 

Chris: <guffaw> Oooh...they took that well.
Urd: [a bit angrilly] Do you blame them?
Chris: [looks at Urd, then Skuld, then back at Urd.] Not really.

	Hikari looked up from where he sat hunched in the corner, and caught
sight of Hikaru. His eyes brightened, and he leaped towards her,
barking happily.
	"Hikari!" Hikaru said cheerfully. She knelt down, and opened her
arms to catch the wolf as he bounded playfully over to her. "Did you
miss me, Hikari?" She frowned. "You look so thin...you haven't been
eating well, have you?" Hikaru looked up, and motioned Lantis into
the dojo. Mokona bounced in as well, pausing to look at Hikari.
Hikari, for his part, didn't know what to make of the egg-shaped
rabbit, and simply stood there blinking at it. Hikaru giggled.
"Mokona, this is my friend Hikari. Hikari, meet Mokona!" 
	Hikari edged closer to the fat white bunny, and tentatively sniffed
it. "Puu?" Mokona inquired. Hikari leaned forward, and licked Mokona
in the face. Hikaru laughed. Mokona wasn't sure what to make of that,
and decided it had better keep its distance from the wolf.

Chris: [Hikari voice] Smells like lunch. Hm...tastes like lunch too!
Urd: We can only hope.
Skuld: [stops sniffling, weakly punches Chris] Oniichan no baka.

	A short while later, the Shidou brothers awoke. They found Hikaru,
the large fellow, and the bunny sitting in the middle of the dojo.
"HIKARU-CHAN!" they all shouted simulataneously, and virtually
dogpiled her.
	"Ack---hey!" Hikaru giggled. "One at a time, guys!"

Chris: This was really sweet.
Urd: Relieved the depression nicely.
Skuld: <nods>

	Satoru swept his little sister up in a hug. "Hikaru-chan...is it
really you?"
	"It's really me, Satoru-niisama."
	"Where have...where've you been all this time? Mother, father and I
have been searching for you for two years!"
	Hikaru sighed. "It's a bit difficult to explain. I've
been...somewhere that wasn't very kind to me," she said. Pain flashed
in her crimson eyes.

Chris: It's BAAAACK.
Skuld: <scowls>
 

	The brothers gathered around her. Kakeru finally realized she hadn't
shown up alone. "Anou, Hikaru-chan...who's your friend?" he asked.
	Hikaru smiled. "This is Lantis," she said, gesturing at the
dark-haired man, "I met him recently. We're travelling together." She
gestured at the white rabbit. "And this is Mokona."
	"Puu."

Chris: <snicker> Well done on the Mokona.
Skuld: <smiles> It is just like her, isn't it?

	"Travelling?" the brothers chorused.
	Hikaru nodded. "I've been travelling for two years, in places that
were very harsh. I had no way to get back to Japan until very
recently," she explained. She sighed. "And as much as I'd love to
stay and be home again, my journey isn't finished yet."
	Satoru frowned. "You're...you're not saying that you're leaving
again? With him?"

Chris: You know, I'd expect a little more brotherly protection out of them
at this point.  You  know, their little sister IS showing up and leaing
with a starnge man, after all.
Urd: [Pouts] Just because YOU act that way, doesn't mean everyone has too.
Chris: Urd, if you stop showing up with guys like Piccolo, I'll stop
acting like that.
Skuld: YEAH!

	Hikaru nodded, and her eyes misted. "Please understand...I've been
through some terrible things as of late. I have a lot to sort out,
and a lot to deal with. I can do this better by travelling than I can
by being home. Also, we're searching for something very important,
which we've discovered is in China."
	"CHINA!?" the others chorused.

Skuld: Ooh, they didn't take that well.

	Hikaru nodded. "I'm sorry, Satoru-niisama, Kakeru-niisama,
Masaru-niisama...I must do this. It's the only way I'll find peace
within myself," she said. 
	"Hikaru-chan..." Kakeru said softly. "What...what's happened to
you?"
	The redhead said nothing, and merely began to cry softly. Lantis
sighed. "She's been through one horrible experience after another,
from the way it was told to me." At the glances, mostly glares, from
the three brothers, Lantis said, "I only met up with Hikaru a few
days ago."

Chris: NO offense, but some Ranma might be a nice touch here.  Especially
when she starts crying, I think Ranma might take over.
Skuld: No, he wouldn't.
Urd: Trust us, 'Niichan, t wouldn't have been good if he did.

	Hikaru nodded. "That's right. Lantis will be accompanying me and
some other friends to China. He's a very skilled swordsman, and we'll
probably need him."
	"Why couldn't the three of us go with you?" Kakeru asked.

Chris: Urd, wanna field this one?
Urd: Because you'd get your butts kicked in short order?
Chris: Point for you!

	Hikaru smiled, and shook her head. "That's sweet of you, but the
things we'll be dealing with...they're going to be a bit beyond your
experience. I've seen things, done things, these past two
years...that quite frankly, I never believed were possible."
	The brothers looked confused. Hikaru sighed. "I really do wish I
could tell you the whole story, but...to be honest, you probably
wouldn't believe me anyway, and all you would do is worry more about
me."
	"We'll always worry about you, Hikaru-chan," Satoru said. "You know
that."

Chris: Classic older brother syndrome.
Urd: [sighs]
Chris: Get used to it.

	Hikaru smiled. "Yes, I know." She sighed again. "Please, can the
three of you just trust me? My companions and I can take care of
ourselves, and we know what we're up against." She smiled brightly.
"When it's all over, I'll come home again, and we'll celebrate and
have a big party, alright? With any luck, I'll be back within a
month."
	Satoru nodded. He had noticed, in addition to the sadness, a wisdom
and confidence which shone in his sister's eyes. It had not been
there two years ago, but it spoke of far too much experience, and
what she was saying was probably true. "Alright, Hikaru-chan. If you
can trust your companions, and you say you'll be alright, then we'll
believe you." He smiled. "I'm just relieved to know you're still
alive," he added. He hugged her fiercely.
	"So am I," Masaru said, hugging his sister. Hikaru smiled.
	"Me too," Kakeru said, moving to hug Hikaru. She held up her hand to
ward him off. "Kakeru-niisama? Bathe."

Urd: Two paragraphs there, since there's two speakers.
Chris: oooh, nice one.

	Kakeru blinked. Lantis fought back a snicker, while Satoru and
Masaru laughed uproariously. Hikaru giggled. After a moment, Kakeru
caught a whiff of himself, and nearly passed out. "Whew...I guess
you're right. I'm a bit ripe," he said, chuckling. "OK, I'll bathe,
if you promise to come home as soon as this business is over."
	"It's a deal," Hikaru said. "Well," she added as she rose to her
feet, "we have a lot to do, and very little time to do it in. I wish
I could stay longer, I've missed you all terribly. But the sooner
Lantis and I get underway, the sooner I'll be home with you for
good." She sighed, and looked around the dojo, at her brothers, and
at Hikari, her expression one of longing.

Chris: I REALLY hope she gets a happy ending out of this.
Urd: Even if it is the cheesy 'split curse' thing.
Skuld: It's not cheesy!
Chris: Agreed.  In this one, it would work.

	"Wait," Satoru said. "Must you leave so soon? Why don't you at least
let us take you out for lunch, so we can have a chance to talk?"
	Hikaru hesitated a moment. Lantis placed a hand on her shoulder.
"You should go with them, Hikaru," he said. "Family is something to
be cherished."
	Hikaru nodded, smiling. "Will you accompany us, Lantis?"
	Lantis shook his head. "I think I'd like to explore more of this
city, if it's alright with you."

<*crack*boom*ominous thunder*>

	She nodded. "Take Mokona with you." The rabbit bounced twice in
recognition of its name. She turned to her brothers, smiling
brightly. "Alright, then. I'd be happy to spend some time with the
three of you. As long as Kakeru cleans himself up first," she added.
The others chuckled, while Kakeru looked embarrassed. She looked over
at Hikari, and smiled. "While the three of you get ready, I think I'm
going to take Hikari for a walk." The wolf barked happily, and
trotted over to her. 

Chris: [eyebrow raised] I'd feed the animal first, Hikaru.
Skuld: The poor dog.

	The brothers watched Hikaru as she headed for the gate with Hikari.
As soon as Hikaru, Lantis, and Mokona were all gone, Satoru turned to
the others. "Kakeru, bathe...and burn that gi," he added. "Masaru, go
get the safe deposit box out of Father's room. I'll be on the phone,"
he added, "making some plane reservations. I intend to find out just
where in China Hikaru-chan is headed," he finished ominously, "and
we're going to follow her."

Chris: Wait for it...

	The other two Shidou men nodded, and the three scrambled to make
their preparations.

<*crack*boom*ominous thunder*>

Chris: And we have premonition of doom, folks!
Urd/Skuld: <sigh>
Chris: Good chapter, Lurker.  We're not going to do 21, because hey, we
already have.  Keep up the good work.
Urd: Weren't you a seperate entity from the author?
Chris: [shrugs] It was giving us a headache, so we combined into one
person.
Skuld: How'd you do that?
Chris: Washu helped.  {Pulls out a long scarf and a wide brimmed hat.]
Shall we be off?

[Belldandy walks into the theatre, and looks at Chris with a great deal of
curiosity.]

Bell: Oniichan, what are you supposed to be?
Chris: The Doctor.
Bell: [confused] Doctor who? [Skuld and Urd groan]
Chris: EXACTLY! [walks into the police box]
Bell/Skuld/Urd: [yelling] ONIICHAN NO BAKA! [chase after him into the box,
which fades out of existence.]

--
Christopher Angel
cja124@mail.usask.ca
http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124