<Lurkadis and Hikaru Inverse enter the theater and take their seats.>

Lurkadis: Well, before we get started...we have a pair of guests for this
MSTing.

<A loud crash and a muffled thump are heard outside the theater. The doors
burst open, and a huge beast, resembling a cross between a tiger and a
wolf, with sinister white eyes, bounds in, skidding to a halt and turning
to growl at someone outside the door. A shout of "AHO!" is heard, and
someone flings an old iron spear into the theater. The spear comes within
an inch of hitting the beast, who shrinks back almost fearfully. A young
man enters, his hair seeming to shrink to a normal length as he steps
through the door and picks up the spear, scowling at the creature.>

Hikaru: <sweatdrop> Anou, Lurkadis...was this really such a good idea?

Lurkadis: <also sweatdrop> I'm beginning to wonder...<regains his
composure> In any case, let's welcome our special guest commentators, Ushio
and Tora. 

Tora: Okay, let me get this straight...so if this guy's fic sucks, we get
to eat him, right?

Lurkadis: <sweatdrop> No, Tora, we just get to make fun of him.

Tora: What? What the hell's the fun in that? I'd rather eat him. 

Lurkadis: <facefault>

Ushio: <whispered> Just think, I have to put up with this all the time.

For now though, let's see how the (turns to White Wolf) NERIMA (turns 
back to reader) crew is doing.

Hikaru, Lurkadis: O_O

Hikaru: Anou...does this mean Hell froze over, Lurkadis-kun?

<Lurkadis opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by a knock on the
door. Lurkadis answers, and it's Satan>

Satan: Could I borrow your snowplow?

Lurkadis: Sure. <to Hikaru> Yes, it means Hell froze over, Hikaru.

Tora: <snicker>

May The Spirit Preserve You!

Tora: Huh? The hell? Hey, I think this guy wants to get eaten. He's talkin'
about spirits making preserves...

Ushio: <bonks Tora with the Beast Spear> Shut up...

	It was what most would have considered an average day.

	However, in Nerima, it was an unusually uneventful one.  There were 
no showdowns between dueling martial artists.  No strange creatures.  
No damage to buildings that cost billions of yen.

	All in all, the average citizens of Nerima were quite happy.

Tora: I don't see why. Sounds awful boring to me.

	Akane was breaking bricks.  She was hitting them with a savagery 
that was extreme, even for her.  So far, she had completely shattered 
eighteen of them and she showed no sign of slowing down.

	"What's wrong with me?" she thought, "I know I get angry, but I'm 
just so... REALLY ANGRY today.  Why?"

Lurkadis: Maybe you've been hypnotized into thinking you're in a Zen fic...

	The answer of course, was the same as it had been everyday, Ranmas' 
running away.  "At least," she thought before shouting to the ceiling,
 "THAT JERK COULD HAVE LEFT A NOTE!"

Tora: Hey Ushio, this one's as bad as that, wassername, Asako?

Ushio: <nod>

	To the surprise of everyone, Akane had been getting the upper hand, 
until Moose interjected himself.  Then Kuno showed up and attacked 
Moose, for daring to attack "The Beauteous Akane Tendo."  THEN, Tarou 
(in monster form) showed up, hot on the heels of Happosai.  Happosai 
then stole a weapon from Cologne to fend off Tarou, drawing the older 
Amazon into the fray.

	Then they spilled outside, where they were joined by Ukyo and 
Kodachi as they battled up and down the streets of Nerima.

Lurkadis: In other words, an average day in Nerima.

	Then, matters got even worse as Saffron, Mint, Lime, Herb, The Dojo 
Destroyer, Mikado, Ryuu and practically everyone who had a grudge 
against Ranma decided that it was time to get revenge.  The violence 
as to who would get him first if they found him, grew out of control 
and it took the efforts of six of the Sailor Senshi and thirty units 
of SUMP (Special Units of Metro Police [The Japanese equivalent of 
SWAT]) officers, working together, five hours to quell it.

Tora: Whoa, and I missed a party like that? Shit.

Lurkadis: Yes, that is the sort of thing you'd go for...

	In the end, Tarou, Happosai, Ryuu, The Dojo Destroyer and Mikado had 
been arrested.  Herb, Mint and Lime had been deported.  Saffron just 
vanished, and everyone else was let go because it was assumed that 
they had been innocent bystanders caught in the fray.  While the 
district had sustained damages that the cost to repair went into the 
trillions.

Hikaru: Bet Nabiki had to work overtime to handle that...

	Ever since then, it had been silent.  The need to fight had gone out 
of the martial artists systems and they were content to just give 
each other the cold shoulder, along with an occasional Evil Eye.

	Still, one question remained unanswered, where had Ranma dissapeared 
to?

<Everyone looks at Tora accusingly. Tora blinks, and scowls back at them>

Tora: What're you all lookin' at?

	Akane frowned in contemplation.  Why did Ranmas' running away get 
her so mad?  She should have been jumping for joy.  No more forced 
marriage.  Still, the only thing she felt besides her anger was a 
feeling of loss.  Not the kind of loss when a friend is gone, but the 
kind when you lose someone you.... love?

Tora: Oh please, I think I'm gonna be sick...

	The knock at the door caught Kasumis' attention and she walked over 
to and opened it.  She was quite surprised when Dr. Tofu, wearing a 
blindfold over his eyes and headphones that blared heavy metal music 
(blotting out his hearing), rushed in through the door, yelling like 
a mad man as he used his memory of the Tendo Dojo floor plan to make 
his way to the dojo.  "Oh my," Kasumi whispered as the dust cloud 
from Tofus passing started to die down.

Tora, Lurkadis, Hikaru, Ushio: <uproarious laughter>

	Outside the room, Nibiki grinned a cool grin as she turned off her 
portable tape recorder.  This would turn out to be VERY profitable.

Lurkadis: <groan> She doesn't know when to quit, does she?

	Mr. Hawkins was an American with a hawk like face, long, shoulder 
length brown hair tied off in a pony tail.  His eyes were a piercing 
steel blue and the perminant scowl on his face made Nabiki back off 
slightly as he strode out of the Kuno mansion.  "Please madam," he 
said as he bowed formally, "excuse me."

Tora: Whoa, whoever named him hit the nail right on the head, huh?

	"Then what CAN Shampoo do?"

	"Pray.... and get going.  You need to deliver that order of Ramen we 
received ten minutes ago."

Lurkadis: <snicker>

Tora: Hey...that "ramen" stuff anything like a hamburger?

Ushio: It's good, but not as much meat in it.

Tora: Oh. Damn.

	As soon as Shampoo had shuffled out of the restaurant, Cologne 
addressed the shadows, "We are alone now."

	A person stepped out of the shadows and replied, "As always, Ancient 
One, you have sensed me."

	Cologne snorted and said, "I find it interesting that you describe 
ME as 'ancient' Setsuna."

Lurkadis, Hikaru: <bellylaugh>

Ushio, Tora: <piku>

Ushio: I don't get it. What's so funny?

Lurkadis: I'll tell you later.

	Cologne sighed and hobbled over to a bag on one of the shelves.  She 
took the bag and tossed it at Setsuna, who caught it without blinking 
an eye.  Cologne chided, "You must conserve those.  They are the last 
ones I have.  It will take years to grow more."

Tora: Hey, I recognize those things! 

Ushio: Yeah?

Tora: <nods> The fire-breathing monsters I used to hang out with would burn
those, and we all inhaled the smoke. Kinda like...uh, whatever that stuff
is the humans smoke now...

Lurkadis: <dryly> Cigarrettes?

Tora: Naw, the other stuff. That mary-whatsits.

	She reached the address that the delivery was for and dismounted her 
bike.  She looked up at the building and let out a soft, "Aiyah," as 
she observed the glass monolith that was her delivery site.  The 
large sign outside read, <Black Sun Inc.>

Lurkadis: <rolls eyes> Boy if that isn't a clue...

	As soon as she was gone, Hawkins took out a pair of gold chopsticks, 
removed the bowl from the package and as he ate, the small view 
screen on his desk popped to life.

	It was Lujane.

Lurkadis: Ah, so...

	Hawkins glared down at the screen and growled, "Can't you see I'm 
eating?"

	"My apologies," Lujane replied, "but I must know, were you 
successful in your efforts?"

	Hawkins sighed as he rubbed his forehead, "Yes.  The insufferable, 
inbred clan known as the Kuno estate, has given us the rights.  We 
may proceed with sub titling the latest episodes of Star Marshal 
Ghram."

Hikaru: <piku> "Inbred"?

Lurkadis: <snicker> That would explain a hell of a lot...

	Lujane snickered slightly as she said, "Once again, I must say that 
I never thought that sub titling Anime could be so profitable to an 
organization such as ours."

Tora: Ani-what? 

	Hawkins glared at Lujane again and shifted form.  In his place, sat 
Eclipse Lord.  "Forgive me master," Lujane amended, "I meant, an 
organization such as yours."

Lurkadis: <Hawkins voice> Forces of darkness empower me, take me back to my
virtual...

<Tora, Ushio, and Hikaru pound him into the ground>

Lurkadis: I...tai...

	Eclipse Lords' eyes thinned in contemplation.  "Very well," he said, 
"carry on," as Lujane was about to sign off, Eclipse Lord added, "By 
the way, tell your husband that he was right.  That was the best 
Ramen in Tokyo."

Tora: Hmm...what's the name of that place again? I might need to check out
this ramen stuff after all...

	The people paled as Ukyou drew her kick butt spatula and Shampoo 
drew her bonbori.

	Things were returning to normal.

Lurkadis: Yep, I'd say so...

	And in the future....

	"SHENRON!  COME FORTH!"

Tora: O_O

Ushio: What?

Tora: Baka! Don't you know what Shenron is?

Ushio: <shakes head>

Tora: Biggest friggin' dragon that ever lived! 

Lurkadis: <nods> That's right. 

Tora: Who the hell'd be callin' for Shenron?

Lurkadis: <smirks> You never heard the part of the legend about the dragon
balls?

Tora: Dragon...<blinks> Oh. Forgot.

Lurkadis: Good chapter, Flashman! Keep it going!

--------------------------------------------------------------------
-Lurkadis Lavenwers-

EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net

Estuans interius ira vehementi
Estuans interius ira vehementi
Sephiroth

Sors immanis
et inanis
Sors immanis
et inanis

veni veni venias
ne me mori facias
veni veni venias
ne me mori facias
Sephiroth
-------------------------------------------------------------------