Hehe... here's something a little different from what i normally do. I'm
not gonna send it to the list unless you want me to...
~Eimii
On Fri, 17 Oct 1997, T.H. Tiger wrote:
Was [a bizarre Idea]
Well here is a raw version of ch1 for this proposed idea. added a bit of
material to get the ball rolling. let me know what you think.
I will appreciate any ideas you might come up with, several people have
already given me ideas that will let me carry it past this first stage.
T.H.
<scene opens to the inside of a very small and cluttered room. The lights
are off, so it's impossible to tell what sorts of horrible, evil, malicious things
lurk in the depts of shadow that cloak every corner of the room. Then, a
strange rattling shatters the pristine silence, followed by even more horrible
and ominous sounds.>
<Jingle*Rattle>
Voice: Opps! <clatter> dropped 'em. <Bang!> Ouch, Damnit!
Voice2:<sigh> Just because you drop you keys dosen't mean that you must
try to open the door with your head...
Voice: Hey! I was bending over to pick 'em up an i just- Grr. Nevermind.
<Rattle*Click*RattleRattle*Ping!>
Voice: What tha bloody hell?! The goddamn key broke again! <muffled
curses>
Voice2: Here, let me try my key.
Voice: Wait, i gotta get the piece inside the lock out first. This'll just take a
sec...
Voice2: I don't think you should do it like that; that piece looks-
Voice: AHHH! Owowowow! Damnit, my finger!
Voice2: -like it's sharp... <sigh> Here, I think we still have some bandages
left inside. <Rattle*Click*Sqeak>
<At one end of the room, a door swings open, bathing the darkened space
with bright light. Siloueted in the rectangle of light are three figures. Once
of them is carrying an rectangular object under one arm, and holding the
outside doorknob with the other. The second seems to be very involved
with sucking the forefinger on its right hand. The third stands impassively
behind the other two, hands crossed behind its back. The first figure steps
into the room, and reaches for the wall to one side of the door. In moments,
the room is flooded with light, as the figures are seen to be...>
Mihrna: <Looks around the room, which is now seen to be cluttered with
clothing, papers, pizza boxes, and various other odds and ends. Frowns,
and brushes some junk off of the lower bunk of the bunkbed on the right
side of the room, before setting the VCR she is holding down on the
cleared space.> Where did we leave the first aid kit last time? I don't see it
on the floor anywhere...
Eimii: <still standing in the doorway> Nevermind, i'll just go down the hall
to the RA and ask for a bandaid. Why don'cha set up the TV while i do
that? <Leaves>
Mihrna: Hmph, I suppose I will then. Don't want anyone getting
electrocuted again, I suppose. <Starts clearing junk off of one of the desks,
and a battered old TV set begins to emerge. Nods over to the third figure,
still standing in the hall.> Could you perhaps go get the bag of popcorn we
left in the microwave downstairs? <without a word, the figure departs> Er...
thanks...
<Eimii returns with her finger bandaged up and, seeing that her room mate
is setting up the TV and VCR, turns to face the general direction of the
~AUDIENCE OMNICIENT OVERHEAD POINT OF VIEW~.>
Eimii: Hi there ^_^! <waves> I thought i'd try something a little different
this time, when i did C&C, and since all of those MST style flamefe- er...
criticisms are floating 'round, i thought we might-
Mihrna: <back to the audience, fiddling with things behind the TV> join in
the carnage?
Eimii: -Yeah. Wait! No! Uh...<Mihrna's foot brushes a box on the floor,
and a Star Wars style Thermal Detonator rolls out onto the floor and starts
beeping> Oops! Heh, where'd that come from. <Eimii kicks the little round
thermonuclear device into the hall. A second later, a muffled explosion is
heard. A bit of paint dust flutters into the air as the walls shake.> Really,
we're just here to take a look at this fic, and offer some... contructive
criticism. That's right. eheh...<smiles sheepishly.>
Mihrna: <Finishing up behind the TV set and turning around.>
Unfortunately, we couldn't afford to rent a theatre to do this right, so I
suppose we're just going to have to settle for this. <waves hand at the
dubious looking little TV-VCR setup>
Eimii: <watery-eyed look as she gazes into her empty wallet> as it is, the
was the best we could come up with *sniff*. <Glares at Mihrna> You
could've helped, you know.
Mihrna: <Raises eyebrow and casts Eimii an incredulous look> You forget;
I don't actually get _paid_ for my job, and I'm relatively certain that forging
currency could be considered lying. Kami-sama knows my record is
dubious enough, without adding that. _You_, on the other hand, operate
under no such constraints...
Eimii: <Blushes slightly and pouts> Grr... I can't help it if every time i try,
the bills turn out orange and fuzzy. They didn't teach that...
Mihrna: <Still gazing incredulously> And you suppose that I was instructed
in such because...?
Eimii: <Frowns and turns away, blushing darker> Whatever. <Looks
around> Where'd she go?
Mihrna: I asked her to get the popcorn.
Eimii: Oh. Well- <Turns back to the audience> I guess we might as well
introduce ourselves, as we're gonna be commenting on this fic in a minute.
I'm Eimii, and i'm a fanfic author.
Mihrna: <quietly, aside> Among other things. <Waves some prayer ribbons
on a stick behind Eimii's back, where Eimii can't see them, then puts them
away and smirks as Eimii shivers for a second, and starts looking around> I
am Mihrna, Goddess of Messengers, a character in one of this numbskull's
fics, and currently sharing living arrangements with this her. <Points a
thumb at Eimii>
Eimii: <growls> Anyway, we have one other person along this time, and
she should be showing up right about- now. <looks at the door. no one
appears> rats. Well, she should be about sometime...
Voice: Here is the popcorn.
Eimii: Eeep! <Jumps a couple feet into the air and lands on her behind as
the third figure from earlier seemingly appears out of nowhere right behind
her.> Don't _do_ that! <Mihrna snickers> shut up. <gets back to her feet
and rubs her sore behind.> anyway, this is Nagako, a character from
another one of my fics, though she's really only made one appearance so
far. <nods at the girl, who is somewhat slender, with waist length green-black hair and a neutral expression on her face>
Nagako: ...
Eimii&Mihrna: <look at Nagako>...
Nagako: ...
Eimii: <shivers> Brr... <aside to Mihrna> what's wrong with her? She's
givin' me the creeps, not doin' anything but staring at us like that. She
reminds me of Ayanami...
Mihrna:<frowns> Hmm... <aside to Eimii> Perhaps the difficulty is in that
you haven't yet written anything where her character is actually developed,
therefore leaving her somewhat... lacking, in the personality department...
Eimii:<confused expression> Oh. My fault again? <Mihrna pauses, then
nods slightly.> Damn... <looks at Nagako for a moment longer, then shakes
her head> <sigh> Ah well, today we have a fic from one of my favorite
pre-readers, T.H. Tiger.
Mihrna: T.H. Tiger?
Eimii: Peter, remember? I think you met 'im once...
Mihrna: Ahh... The, ahem, "designated hentai" of the C&C pentangle was
it? Or was it quadrangle now. Heptangle?
Eimii: <even more confused look> Huh?
Mihrna: <sigh> nevermind. Yes, I have met him. I believe that you were
quite anxious to finally C&C one of his fics, were you not? <gestures to the
TV> Shall we?
Eimii: <looks at Nagako once more> I guess... <walks up the the VCR,
inserts a tape, then presses the play button. Turns around and settles into
the bottom bunk on the bed, while Mihrna hops up to the top bunk. After a
moment, Nagako settles down into a crosslegged position on the floor.>
Mihrna: <reading the tape case> This effort is etitled "Tenchi's Girl."
Eimii: <Nods> Un, it's a Ranma-Tenchi crossover, from what i remember
of the teaser.
Nagako: ....
Mihrna&Eimii: <look down to the floor at the silent girl, who is staring
impassively at the screen as the opening credits scroll by.> ...
Genma Saotome looked at the faded and tattered postcard in his
hand.
Coming soon.
Bringing Ranma.
Mihrna: Is it not usually Soun that is often seen doing this in the opening of
these fics?
Eimii: Shhh! 'S a comparison thingie to throw people off, i think...
A tear slid down his cheek. He had written it the day before he
and Ranma had arrived at Jusenkyo. That had been meant to be the
last stop on their training trip, Genma had planned to take them
back to Japan, and to the fiancee that was waiting there for Ranma.
The fiancee that Ranma now would never know about.
Mihrna: Hmmm....
Eimii: Hmmm...?
Nagako: ....
He'd had such plans. Ranma would marry one of Soun's
daughters, and Genma would retire to his well earned rest. All gone
now, all his plans dust, because his son had lost his temper and
forgotten the true way of the martial artist.
Mihrna: I see... Something has happened to Ranma, and Genma perceives
it to be Ranma's fault. I wonder what could have transpired...
Eimii: Keep watching. Up to this part was in the teaser message...
His mind drifted back to that day when all his hopes and
dreams had come crashing down.
It had been foggy, he remembered that well, so foggy that he had
almost walked into one of the Jusenkyo springs before he had seen it.
FLASHBACK:
Mihrna&Eimii: Oooo... Flaaashbaaack....
We see the Jusenkyo valley, or rather we don't see it. The
entire valley is shrouded in a dank fog that cuts visibility to a
mere few feet. Three figures emerge from the fog. Genma, Ranma and
the guide.
Eimii: Now that's something new. I don't think i've ever seen anyone write
this scene with fog before.
Mihrna: Indeed, an innovation at the outset. Such as it bodes that this tale
shall deviate most markedly, upon the immediate stages, from the well
trodden norm...
Eimii: Stop doing that! <shivers> I don't need to hear Kunou-speak when
neither he or Jim are around. Also, i don't need Jim finding out that i'm not
_really_ getting any better at writing it without his help...
Mirhna: <smirks> As you wish...
"And this Sirs, is famous training ground of cursed springs,
very tragic and famous place.
"Not bad Pop, this place looks like it might actually be
challenging, this fog is great."
"O no sirs, fog is not part of training ground. Please, you come
Mihrna: Actually, considering that they are in a mountain valley, I would
think that fog might actually be quite common. This may be a reason why
the training ground might have been built there, before the springs became
cursed.
Eimii: <grin> All the better to make Ramna suffer later, i think. After all,
this time around, he's quite enthused about the place...
to hut now, have nice cup tea, wait for fog clear, then I show you O
so tragic springs, yes?"
"Are you kidding? The fog's the only thing that makes this a
challenge." Ranma slipped the backpack he was wearing off, and
lightly leaped up to one of the barely visible bamboo poles.
Genma looked uncertain, he could barely see the poles. "I
don't know boy, maybe we should take the guides advice. A nice hot
cup of tea would go nice about now."
Mihrna&Eimii: <blink*blink> ...
Eimii: Did he just...?
Mihrna: Indeed. I would never have imagined...
Eimii: Genma, with common sense...?
Mihrna: Maybe... maybe it's just cowardice...
Eimii: Yeah, that's gotta be it...
Nagako: ....
"Sure pop, you go right ahead, go rest your creaky old bones. It
must be a bugger to get all old and slow. I'll just practice by
myself." Ranma smirked down at Genma, who was rapidly turning
red.
Eimii: <evil grin> Ooo, see! Ranma _really_ asked for it this time...
Mihrna: Quite...
"Old!? Slow!? You asked for it boy. Prepare yourself, I'm
going to show you that these old bones can still kick your ass."
Eimii: The infamous Saotome Ego rears its ugly, swolen head...
Mihrna: <shaking head> Tsk...
Genma slipped out of his own pack and leaped up to the pole
opposite Ranma. he felt a twinge of relief as the pole came into
clear view as soon as he got close. He turned and leaped at Ranma
the instant he touched down.
The guide was frantic and yelled up at the barely visible martial
artists. "O sirs, what you do? You not want to do that, better you
come down now. Yes?"
Ranma ignored the guide's frantic cries, and leaped to meet
Genma. They exchanged a flurry of blows before Ranma snuck in a
clever twist, and sent Genma plunging into the mist. Ranma
smirked as he heard the tremendous splash Genma made as he
landed in the spring below his pole.
The guide heard as well, and barely backed off in time to
escape being splashed by the wave of water that washed over his
former position. The first splash was followed by a second as
Genma leaped back toward Ranma.
Ranma was peering into the fog, trying to spot his father.
"What's the matter pop? Giving up already? Ahhh, what the hell is
that?" the last was screamed out, as a massive black and white
Mihrna: <holding chin> Hmm... the punctuation in that last sentence did
not instill in me a sense of panic. Perhaps some exclamation points?
creature came flying out of the fog straight toward him. Taken by
surprise, he reacted slowly and was knocked from his pole and sent
flying backwards out of sight.
Having revenged his dunking, and thoughts of hot tea in his
mind, Genma leaped lightly to the ground beside the Guide, who
stared at him in shock. Genma tried to say, About that tea, but all
Mihrna: Mayhaps you should put 'About that tea,' in quotes, I think.
Eimii: We're not here to nitpick, Mihrna...
that came out was "Growf" Genma lifted a hand to his mouth in
shock, but before it could reach its destination, he froze in shock,
staring at the black, heavily clawed paw that had replaced his own
meaty hand.
"O too bad,
Eimii: <giggling> hehe, "O too bad," heh, guide has a way with words...
Mihrna: <Smirk> Well, he probably stopped saying "O, how tragic" after
the first ten or so people fell into the springs after ignoring his warnings...
Mr customer fall in spring of drowned Panda, very
tragic tale of Panda that drown there two thousand year ago, very
tragic tale. Now whoever fall in spring take on form of Panda.
Genma could only look at the guide in shock. The guide was use to
this reaction and was about to lead Genma to his hut for a kettle of
hot water, when an explosion of voices yelling in some strange
dialect came through the fog.
Mihrna: Voices? As in plural? In addition to speaking in a strange dialect as
well... It would seem as though Saotome and company are not alone...
Eimii: <smirk>...
Nagako: ...
The Guide turned pale, and grabbing Genma by a paw, dragged
Mihrna: Aparently familiar, and not entirely welcome company, it would
seem...
the unresisting panda along behind himself as he made haste away.
As he was dragged along Genma became aware of the voices behind
them, and also of the sound of someone running towards them, the
sound was intermixed every few seconds by a splash, only to resume.
Mihrna: The footsteps are the same, even after falling into one spring after
another? Something is afoot here...
The footsteps were getting closer and closer, until finally a small,
naked, red headed girl, burst from the fog, and immediately launched
Eimii: Naked?
Mihrna: Naked.
Eimii: <questioning look> Hmm, well, i guess we'll find out later...
a flying kick that caught the stupefied Genma under the chin and
sent him sailing backwards into the fog, and unconsciousness.
Genma sighed, Ranma in her eagerness to get back at him after
Nagako: <in monotone> the sentence would flow better if either a period or
a semicolon were placed after "genma sighed."
Mihrna&Eimii: <Staring at Nagako in openmouthed shock>
Eimii: <after re-hinging her jaw> uh, yeah...
getting out of the Nyanniichuan, had in her rage, and blinded by the
fog, stumbled into a spring. When she had not changed any further
then she already had, she had thrown caution to the wind, and made
a bee line straight back towards where she thought Genma was,
falling in a dozen or so springs as she did so. Somehow the contact
with all that magic had frozen her in her cursed form.
Mihrna: Peculiar...
The guide had no idea as to how it had happened, the springs
were not suppose to do that, they could not mix. At least not without
the body having years to adapt to one curse. Genma could go back
in ten years, and jump in the Nanniichuan, and might free himself of
his curse, but only might, it was no guarantee.
Mihrna: Most Peculiar... I take it that this would explain how Taro was able
to modify his curse later?
Eimii: Probably. Interesting explanation of the properties of Jusenkyou...
The guide had no idea if that would work on Ranma. He was
very evasive when asked. Genma suspected he was one of those
people who hated to admit they did not know the answer. He hated
people like that, they should be forthright and honest, and admit
their short comings.
Eimii: <evil grin> ...
Mihrna: <looking at Eimii> What is that look for..?
Eimii: <still grinning secretively> Oh, nothing...
Nagako: <still in monotone> she is relishing the fact that she has previous
knowledge pretaining to the true course of events leading to ranma's present
condition.
Eimii: <facefaults> A..ano naa...
Mihrna: <nodding> Ahh...
Genma turned his attention back to his open back pack. He had
been looking for food when he had found the tattered postcard in the
bottom. It had been crushed up against a bundle of waxed paper.
Now Genma's eyes were draw back to that packet, and with a hand
that visible trembled he reached in and picked it out.
Unwrapping the outer layers he carefully unfolded the contents.
Various documents and letters, and most importantly, a document
with his signature, and Ranma's baby hand print. The agreement
with his wife to turn Ranma into a man among men, or commit
Sepuku.
Eimii: <blink*blink> She let him keep it? I would have thought that the
document would have stayed with Nodoka at the ancestral home of the
Saotomes...
Mihrna: <shrugs> Most likely, it's just a plot device to elicit a feeling of
regret from Genma, considering that the agreement has now been
irrevocably broken...
Genma winced, there would be no going home for him, not
ever. With a sigh he started to fold the documents back up, when a
small scrap of paper separated from the main bundle and fell to the
ground.
Mihrna: <grabbing a broom and tying a long piece of string with a safety
pin at one end of it to the the broom, then doing an overhead cast off the
top bunk> And we have a plot hook! <gives the improvised fishing rod a
firm tug>
Eimii: <safety pin hooked through left earlobe> Aaaaah! Quit it!!
Genma bent down and picked it up. looking at it in curiosity he
saw that it was a napkin from a bar he, Soun and several of their
friends had frequented back in the old days. What was it doing here
among his papers?
Turning it over he read the writing on the other side. His eyes
widened in shock at the words there, and memory flooded back.
Eimii: <heaving a bucket full of water up onto the top bunk> Hah! Two can
play at that game!
Mihrna: <soaked> Oh, har har...
Eimii: <Grin> Serves ya right! <water begins leaking through the matress
and dripping on Eimii's head> Aw, bloody hell...
It had been the night he and Soun had agreed to merge there
families. Nodoka was expecting any day, and Kimiko would be due
not long after. Then an old friend who was seated with them brought
up the question.
"What if they both have girls?" He had said, after all, Soun
already had two, and the odds were fifty, fifty that Genma would
have one. So how would they merge their families then.
Mihrna: <Leaning back and shrugging> Well, modern marrages being what
they may, which is not to say that the actions that Saotome and Tendo
engage in demonstrate them as in any way modern, it wouldn't be _such_ a
problem, until they had to come up with an heir...
Eimii: <hopping up to the top bunk, and giving Mihrna a joyfull, teary-eyed
look> You really think that way Mihrna? Oh, how wonderful! I feel so
much better now...<smiles and snuggles up>
Mihrna: <Blinks once or twice, looking non-plaused> Well, considering that
you've yet to give any indication as to whom you intend to set me up with in
your fic, I can't see any reason why not... <Bends down to Eimii's face.>
Eimii: <looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a tank> Ack!
Kidding, Kidding!! <jumps off the bunk in a panic. Turns back to the
bottom bunk, only to find Nagako sitting in her place.> Eheh... huh?
<stares at Nagako>
Nagako:<stares back without any expression> ...
Eimii: <Shivers> ... O-kaaaay. <turns back to the TV and sits of the floor.
Shivers again.>
Mihrna: <smirks> wimp...
For a while the party turned depressed, but fueled by alcohol,
Genma came up with a solution. "You have a son, We'll marry our
children to him if we both have daughters." He said
Mihrna: What a mind he has. Why do I get the feeling that Genma carries
around a stack of marrage liscenses in his back pocket, to use as IOUs?
Soun had objected, "We can't both marry are daughters to him.
Not legal I don't think." Soun was a little drunk by then, as
compared to the other two, who were very drunk.
Eimii: Actually, this _is_ Tenchi we're talking about. I don't suppose it
would be a prob- ... wait a second. Akane and Ranma, married to the same
man...? <Eimii's brow furrows. After a few seconds, smoke starts coming
out of her ears.> ...uh...
Mihrna: The mind boggles...
It had been decided to flip a coin to decide who's daughter
would get married. Genma had won, and they had created an
agreement on the spot. Genma and his friend had written in the gist
of the agreement on a napkin, and Soun had signed as a witness.
Then they had preceded to get drunk in celebration, and forgot all
about it. Till now.
Eimii: Weren't they already drunk before?
Nagako: <utterly devoid of emotion> yes.
Eimii: ...
Genma looked at the stained ripped document that was now
worth more than anything else Genma possessed. Because it meant
a happy retirement for him in his old age. He hugged the precious
document to his chest, and tears ran down his face and dripped off
his chin.
Mihrna: My, but that was a swift about-face. From mourning over the loss
of his son, to ecstatic joy over the thought of marrying off his daughter...
Eimii: <in disgust> Genma is lower than a snake's balls...
Nagako: <calmly, emotionlessly, upends the bag of popcorn over Eimii's
head.>
Eimii: Hey! <picking buttered, salted, tabasco drizzled popcorn out of her
hair> What tha-? <Turns and sees Nagako's emotionless gaze.> -uh...
<shudders> nevermind. <turns back to the TV>
Controlling his overflowing emotions, Genma turned and
yelled at the red headed girl soaking in the hot spring. "Ranma,
come on hurry up. we have an old friend to visit."
"You mean Mr. Tendo? About time, you said we were going to
see him months ago."
"Not Tendo, no. This is another friend. You'll like him, he has
a son a little older then you. I think you'll get along splendidly with
him. And if he's anything like his Father, Tenchi Masaki will be very
glad to see you.
Mihrna: <In mock surprise> The Fiance is Revealed!!
Eimii: <Enthusiasticly, with a fist raised defiantly to the sky> The Fight is
Joined!!
Nagako: <In cold, dead monotone> the fate is sealed...
Mihrna&Eimii: ... <shudder> ...
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR [Expletive deleted] MIND!!!!"
Eimii: Oooo, somebody's got a potty mouth!
Mihrna: < Wearing horn-rimmed glasses, and writing on a yellow note-pad> The subject appears to be deeply disturbed...
Ranma screamed at her father in disbelief. No freaking way am I
marrying some guy. You can forget that idea right now. I'm going
back to china, there has to be something we missed, and Shampoo
must have gotten tired of chasing us by now, I mean its been three
months, how long does it take someone to forget a grudge."
Nagako: <less emotion than day old oatmeal> that depends... how long is
eternity...?
"Girl, you're not going anywhere, you have a duty to your
family, as the last Saotome of our family it is up to you to see that
our proud line continues."
Eimii: Hey, just calling Ranma 'girl' ought to be enough to set off some
impressive pyrotechnics. Think he can do that angry blue aura thing now?
Mihrna: <hand on chin> hmm... perhaps Ranma has had long enough to
grow accostomed to being referred to as female..
"Proud line, yea right, were so proud we'll marry our sons off
to other guys just to fill our fat stomachs. Well if you're so
determined to carry on the line, the zoo just got a female Panda in.
I'm sure they'd be happy to marry the pair of you.
Mihrna&Eimii: <stare off into space for a while> Hmmm....
Mihrna: Still have those tranquilizer darts?
Eimii: Yeah. You call the zoo after we're done here...
As for me, I'm
leaving, and you'd better not try and stop me old man." Ranma
turned her back on Genma and walked away, her hair fairly bristling
with outrage, how dare he, how dare he, how dare he. She was a
guy, damit.
Mihrna: Emphasis on the 'was,' kid...
Genma watched as Ranma turned a corner and disappeared
from his sight. His gaze shifted to the pack laying in the middle of
the road where it had fallen after Ranma had flung it at him when he
had finally broached the idea of marriage. Ranma would be back, if
only for her supplies. Genma had better be ready when he did so.
Eimii: Cue ominous music....
Ranma cautiously peaked around the corner, ready to snatch
her head back if Genma was out in the open looking in her direction.
She felt a proper fool, stalking off like that and forgetting all
her supplies. She'd never hear the end of it.
Mihrna: Hmm... Ranma is still subconsciously thinking as though she were
planning on staying with her father. After all, if she left, then no-one would
be around that could point out her mistake but herself. Unless she has
developed multiple personalities... hmmm.....
Eimii: Ahh... i think you're reading too much into this...
She would just sneak
into camp and snag the back pack when pop fell asleep. If she gave
him a week or so she was sure he would forget this whole crazy idea,
but until then she needed the supplies in that pack.
Not seeing anyone, Ranma came fully around the corner and
carefully made her way to the hedge behind which she could see a
small stream of smoke coming from the fire Genma would have
made to heat his evening meal. So far so good, she thought.
Creeping silently along she made it to the hedge, and brushing a few
branches out of the way peered through it at the campsite Genma
had set up.
The sight she saw brought her crashing through the hedge and
into the clearing on the other side.
"Are you crazy?!? What the heck are you doing pop?!?"
Eimii: <gameshow host voice> Answer #1- Yes.
Mihrna: <Alex Trebeck impression> Answer #2- Something unscrupulous.
Nagako: <Hal impression> answer #3- the bell tolls for thee.
Eimii: <stares at Nagako, then turns to Mihrna> ...?
Mihrna: <Stares at Nagako, then shrugs> ...
Genma looked up from where he knelt in front of a clean white
cloth. A ceremonial knife griped in his hand. "I am restoring our
family honor in the only way I can, because of my mistake, are clan
will be no more. I must atone for my error." Pressing the tip of the
knife against his bare stomach, her gritted his teeth and pressed, the
blade sank an inch or two into his hard muscled belly and he hastily
placed a hand bearing a clean cloth against the wound to prevent the
blood that welled out from fouling his pants.
Eimii: I imagine that Ranma may have fouled her pants in a somewhat
different manner just before she leapt out of the hedge a paragraph back...
Mihrna: Hopefully, Genma won't notice. I doubt that he would consider
that 'manly'...
"No!!" Ranma screamed. Diving forward she grasped Genma's
hand and tried to pull the knife free. Genma resisted, and the knife
sank another inch or so, drawing a pained gasp from the stocky
martial artist. Horrified, Ranma snatched her hands free of Genma's
before she caused him to finish the stroke that would end his life.
"Please, don't do this." She begged. "You don't have to do
this."
"I must, I have no choice, there is no choice, it is the only
way." Genma said, gritting his teeth, he prepared to make the final
thrust that would end his life and restore his honor.
Nagako: <analytically sterile monotone> actually, ritual suicide is usually
concluded by making one more crossward slashes across the abdomen,
lascerating or otherwise exposing the suicide victim's intestines, and
ensuring a quite gauranteed, but rather slow and excruciatingly painfull
demise. it should be noted that a stab wound that penetrates as deeply as
genma's wound had apparently done so far would often times be enough to
bring about death. ranma is not paying enough attention to the injury
inflicted to penetrate genma's ruse.
Mihrna&Eimii: ...
Eimii: i... didn't need to know that...
Mihrna: ... quite...
"I'll marry him!!" Ranma cried out. "If it means that much to
you, I'll marry him" She repeated in a faint whisper. "Only please,
don't do this pop."
"Do you promise? Will you restore your clan's prospects?"
"Hai," Ranma said, eyes lowered. "If it's that important to you,
I'll keep your end of the bargain with Mr. Masaki."
Eimii: wow... after all the hell she's been through, Ranma still loves the
slug...
Mihrna: Indeed, blood truly is thicker than water, it seems...
Nagako: <empty sounding voice> not genma's blood...
Eimii: ... agreed...
Genma agreed to forgo his suicide, but he refused to go to a
doctor. He pulled the knife free of the wound it had made, and
without removing the white cloth he had used to staunch the flow of
blood, bound it in place.
"A true martial artist must be able to ignore little scratches like
this Ranma. Why I've done worse shaving." Genma laughed and
then bit back a curse as he clutched his stomach in pain. He waved
Ranma off when she would have come to his aid. "I'm fine, you just
carry both our packs for the next few days and I'll be right as rain."
Eimii: <evil grin> unless a nasty, creeping infection sets in...
Mihrna: <frowns> Now, now. You realize how slight the likelyhood of a
Ranma 1/2 martial artist dying in such a mundane manner is, don't you?
Eimii: <sigh> i know...
Genma looked up the road to where Ranma labored under the
twin burdens of both her's and Genma's packs. Making sure she
was not looking Genma surreptitiously tossed the prop knife he had
used to fool Ranma into a nearby ditch. It had been well worth the
thousand and fifty yen he had paid for it. The fake blood in the
rubber handle, the retractable blade, all had worked perfectly.
Thanks to it, he had passed the biggest obstacle to his happy
retirement.
Eimii: <snort> sneaky old bastard, isn't he?
Mihrna: <shakes head> perhaps not quite so lucky though...
Eimii: <manic grin> Hehehe... 'happy retirement' with Tenchi & Co...
This'll be fun...
Ranma gritted her teeth. Stupid old man, why'd he have to do
such a stupid thing? Was he crazy? Well Ranma may have
promised to follow through on pop's promise, but she was only one
side of the bargain. This Tenchi guy still had to agree to marry her,
and by the time Ranma was through displaying her feminine charms,
Eimii:<blink*blink> What? With Nobuyuki around to take pictures...?
Mihrna:<sigh, covers eyes with hand> I sincerely doubt that she meant it as
such...
she would be the last girl on earth he would ever want to share a
Mihrna: Funny that she should say, "on earth..."
Eimii: hehe...
room with, little lone marry. Yep, she gave it a week at the most,
then she'd be free to start looking for a cure.
Nagako: <voice like the solar wind blowing across the face of a black hole>
last words of the damned...
Mihrna: <stares at Nagako for a moment> ... Actually, I am inclined to
concur. Nothing good can come of such complete confidence in her
perceived abilities to force Tenchi away...
Eimii: <nodding> Mmm... i think Ranma is going to be staying just a wee
bit longer than she plans to... <stands up and walks over to the VCR. Stops
the tape and presses the rewind' button, then turns off the TV.> Well,
that's it for chapter one. Wha'did you guys think?
Mihrna: <feet dangling off of the top bunk, looking down at Eimii>
Intriguing premise. Ranma has become engaged to Tenchi Masaki, a man,
and she has to convince Tenchi that she's not right for him. Normally, I say
that Ranma wouldn't have such a hard time about it, but I just have this
feeling...<small, malicious smile spreads across face>
Eimii: <already broken into a full blown evil grin> And Ranma's trapped as
a girl, and is about to get involved in the preliminary stages of a rather...
explosive love triangle, even by Ranma 1/2 standards... <rubbing hands
together> this could get... complicated....
Nagako: <patented Ayanami Emotionless Voice(tm)> indeed...
Mihrna&Eimii:<staring at Nagako again> ...
Eimii: <uncertain look> uh... did she just express an opinion?
Mihrna: <shuffling farther up onto her bunk> I... believe so...
Eimii: <turning her gaze back and forth beween Nagako and the audience.>
Uh... well, i enjoyed this short bit, and i'm looking forward to seeing more.
Good work Peter!
Mihrna: <nodding in agreement> Yes, the plot seems to be coming along
nicely, and one can almost taste the futre unpleasantries that shall befall
Ranma becore this fic is done... <Stops, and turns her head, sniffing the
air> Say... do you smell that?
Eimii: <looking around the room> Yea, it smells sorta like burning plastic...
Mihrna: Burning plastic?
Eimii: er... barbecue accident. Set a box of plastic utensils too close to the
grill once...
Mihrna: Ahh....
Eimii: <blushing> Anyway, where's it coming from...?
Nagako: <lifting her arm and pointing to the VCR, while speaking in quite,
neutral tones> ...that...
<Mihrna and Eimii turn to face where Nagako is pointing, and notice that
the VCR is smoking and spitting out shredded little bits of tape, squealing
quietly the entire time.>
Eimii: Ahhh! That VCR's rented! <Jumps over to the VCR and mashes the
stop button, to no avail. Suddenly, the VCR catches fire, in turn setting
most of the other junk piled on top of the desk ablaze.> AAARGH!!! My
stuff!!!<rips the curtains off the window and attepts to smother the flames,
only to be burned when the curtains catch fire.> Owwwww! <jumps back,
then realizes that her clothes are on fire> AAAAAAARRRRRGHG!
PUTITOUTPUTITOUTPUTITOUT!!! <begins to run around the room,
setting other things on fire>
Mihrna: <sigh> I suppose I'll go have to pick up some more burn salve
from the front desk. Please try not to burn town the building while I'm
gone...<jumps down off of the top bunk and leaves.>
Eimii: <rolling on the floor, to no avail, as the junk on the floor begins to
catch on fire> WAAAAAH!!! HEEEELLLPPPPP!
Nagako: <watching Eimii with a completely impassive expression on her
face> ...