Eric: humph you went and chagned the tag!
Sarah: you'll get over it. You're not feeling up to speed today are
you?
Eric: humph I talked to Amber
Sarah: gee that would always put you in a bad mood.
Eric: well lets see here on to the second part of Someday Never Comes.
David Homerick wrote:
Chapter 1: A Perfect Day.
Eric: no such thing just bad ones, one after the other.
"RAN -- KO -- CHAN!"
"RAN -- KO -- CHAN!"
Sarah: RAN-KO-CHAN! RAN-KO-CHAN!
Eric: you're so easily amused.
The chant swelled as Ranma's opponent slumped to the floor of the
ring. The referee raised Ranma's hand and raised it high over his head.
Eric: you should change the sentence drop the and. sorta like: The
referee raised Ranma's hand high over his head.
Sarah: ahh of course Ranma won does he ever lose?
"Winnerrrr..." he bellowed into the mike, "RANKO-CHAN!" The crowd
roared as Ranma waved enthusiastically to it and racked his brain for
Sarah: he waved enthusaistically at what?
something suitably girlish to say.
Eric: tee hee often works.
The championship belt was returned to him, along with a giant
bouquet of roses. Someone pushed a mike in his face. "Oh, wow!" he
squealed. "Did I really win? I'd like to thank all my wonderful
fans... I LOVE YOU ALL!" he called, bouncing excitedly on his toes
Sarah: humm if thats his idea of apropriately girly then i'm beginning
to feel insulted. What do you think Eric?
Eric: sorry i'm still stuck on teh bouncing bit.
and
waving the bouquet. His girl-body's breasts bounced too, and the roar
Eric: oh more bouncing, do we have to leave this image?
Sarah: god what has Amber done to you?
of the crowd increased. That should sell a few extra tickets, he
thought, and turned to leave the arena.
Eric: oh dont go! come back!
Trouble. The crowd poured out of the seats and onto the floor.
Sarah: trouble? what kind of. humm there's something odd about throwing
trouble out like that.
Eric: i agree, i'm not big on grammar or anything but it just doesnt
seem right.
Ranma dashed down the rapidly closing aisle towards the exit like an
Egyptian getting the hell out of the Red Sea. The crowd crashed
Sarah: an amusing analogy.
together behind him as he reached the tunnel and surged after him.
Eric: nothing like a crowd of perverts and freaks chasing after you.
I wonder what set them off? he thought. I've finished fights
Eric: probably the bouncing
stark
naked and never had them charge me like this. 'Course, maybe that's
Eric: oh well i wish i had seen that.
it. Maybe they didn't get to see as much of Ranko-chan as they thought
they'd paid for.
Sarah: humm boy he's doing some odd stuff these days.
Eric: i dont mind, personally i'd like to see more as well.
Sarah: you have no life yet do you?
He dashed around a corner, past two security guards, up a hallway,
and into his dressing room. He slammed the door and threw the bolt,
Eric: the clever crowd never saw him run into his dressing room?
Sarah: he did say he went around a corner, but even so.
then leaned against it, panting. This girl-body may look young and
sexy, he thought, but I'm still a forty-year-old man inside. You're
slowing down, Ranma m'boy.
Eric: uhhh.... i no longer feel as chirper.
Sarah: heheh, you knew this was set in the future. what did you expect?
Eric: well i never found Ranma-chan attractive in the way that I find
Ukyou precisely cuz she's a guy.
The pounding of footsteps reminded him that he needed to hurry.
Sarah: oi i see the crowd is smart enough to follow.
He
peeled off the sheer red-and-black leotard and, with a splash of hot
water, reverted to a middle-aged man. He dressed quickly, pulling on
pants, shoes, shirt, and coat as the door began to bow inward.
Eric: heh too bad they didnt catch him naked.
Finishing with a pair of sunglasses, he sent a quick message over the
intercom and drew the bolt. The crowd tore it out of his hands, poured
through the opening, then stopped short, disappointed.
Sarah: looked at the bloody mess of the middle aged man beneath their
feet and went their merry way.
"As you can see," announced Ranma, "Ranko-chan isn't here. Now, if
you don't mind, I'd like you to clear out of her room."
Sarah: i'd be surprised if the crowd didnt ransack the room while they
were at it. you never know what Ranko may have left behind.
Eric: true their maybe some personal belongings around.
Sarah: humm you are becoming more like Happosai everyday.
"Ladies and gentlemen," came an announcement over the PA,
"Ranko-chan has left the building."
Sarah: she was seen leaving with Elvis.
The crowd sagged and filed out. One young man hung back, gazing
about the room.
Eric: oh he;s looking for silkies i bet... its the son of happosai!
Sarah: my bet is hidoshi.
"Yes? Can I help you?" asked Ranma.
"I... I wanted to talk to her. To tell her..." He blushed.
"I thought so. Kid, you can't just barge into someone's dressing
room just because you think you like her. It's rude. Hell, it's
downright criminal. How would you like it if some snot-nosed kid broke
into your bedroom and jumped on you? Would you think that was cute?
Would you like that? Huh?"
Sarah: pretty harsh but an accurate assessment by Ranma, maybe he has
matured as a male.
Eric: mmm jumped on...
"I... I guess not. I'm sorry."
"Good. I'll tell you what, kid. You give me your name and
address, and I'll see Miss Ranko sends you something nice."
Eric: humm i wonder what Ranma thinks of as 'nice'
Sarah: *starting to glow green* thats it get your mind of the gutter!
"A pair of her panties?" the boy asked hopefully.
Eric: I was only joking, boy i didnt see this one coming.
"Don't be obscene. How about a nice autographed picture instead?"
Sarah: humm so much for my bet on it being Hidoshi
"That would be fine, sir."
Eric: so polite and yet so perverse.
When Ranma arrived home, Akane was waiting up for him and had him
sit down while she cooked dinner. This meant heating prepackaged eel
teriyaki meals in the microwave, but if Akane wanted to call that
Eric: oh no the cooked my pet Gobo the Eel!!!! They killed Gobo, you
bastards!
Sarah: interesting how Akane hasnt' changed her cooking.
cooking, Ranma wasn't going to argue. When the meals were done, Ranma
opened his, stirred the rice, and popped the tab on a can of Kirin.
Sarah: she popped the tab of the leader of the seven lucky gods martial
artists?
Eric: apparently akane has decided to keep all her suitors.
Akane poked at her meal silently.
Sarah: even if all she did was warm it up, it doesnt hurt to make sure
its actually dead.
"I was talking to Ryoga today," she said.
Eric: oi i see she is still stringing her suitors along.
Ranma winced and put down his chopsticks. "Yeah?"
Sarah: humm aparently Akane's heating is just as bad as her cooking.
"He asked me if we had any plans to reopen the dojo."
Eric: ohh interesting why did they close it in the first place?
This was an old argument. "What did you tell him?"
Sarah: this marriage seems dull and lifeless, i wonder what happened.
"To talk to you."
"I suppose he'll do that, then." Ranma turned back to his meal.
Akane's voice took on an edge. "It's been four years, Ranma. You
said prizefighting was only temporary, until the scandal died down.
Sarah: what scandal?
Well, it's died down. Don't you think it's time you stopped shirking
your responsibilities?"
Eric: i never bought into that responsibility crap and i wonder why
Ryouga would care though. this story is rife with possibilities.
Ranma scowled. "I've made more money in four years of
prizefighting than we did in fifteen years of running that dojo. If
Sarah: oh Ranma who needs money. you were supposed to carry on the
school
Ryoga needs a job, he can help his wife in the restaurant, or go break
rocks or something. I don't see that I owe him a job."
Eric: i wonder who he ended up with?
Sarah: running a restuarant could be either Ukyou or Shampoo.
Eric: my guess is Shampoo.
Sarah: thats only cuz you want Ukyou for yourself.
Eric: So? wheres the harm in that?
"You promised Father you'd run the dojo..."
"Your father doesn't care," interrupted Ranma.
Sarah: he doesnt care? what happened to Soun and Genma? they may be old
but how could they stop caring?
"Well, *I* care!" shouted Akane. "I want my family name associated
with martial arts, not my sister's thievery! If you had an ounce of
Eric: oh more and more interesting.
decency, you'd drop this Ranko-chan charade, reopen the dojo, and give
poor Ryoga a job. You know why he can't find work."
Sarah: damn this is good, i mean so much hinting and you cant really
guess at what might happen.
Eric: or what might've happeend.
"The same reason he can't find anything else. Ryoga was a lousy
teacher, anyway. If I had to hire someone from that family, I'd hire
his wife."
Sarah: apparently Ranma still carries a grudge.
"Oh, I see. You'll hire Shampoo but not Ryoga. I wonder why that
is."
Eric: woah, i was only joking about him marrying Shampoo. Oh now i need
to know how that happened.
Sarah: yes we also need to know "why that is"
"Shampoo's a classically trained martial artist. Ryoga's a
self-trained brawler. What's he going to teach kids -- getting lost?"
Eric: thats it? I hope not. there has to be something more to it,
besides Ryouga would probably fall into the anything goes style more
then Shampoo.
Sarah: true but this is a different Ranma we're dealing with.
"Akane rose stiffly. "Maybe he could teach them about honor." She
rose and stalked away.
Eric: Ouch.
Sarah: this is great.
Ranma stared at his meal for a long time, then picked it up and
stuffed it into the trash. What a lousy way to end the day.
Eric: its also a lousy place to end the fic.
Sarah: this is great! the characterizations are well done and there is
an amazing amount of tension that you only hint at. Well done.
Eric: also you have alot of unanswered questions that are dying to be
answered.
Sarah: this is one of the most interesting fics i've read to date and i
hope you finish it.
Eric: laters!