Okay, flame me a lot for writing this. I deserve it. This thing was spawned
from a combination of (1) Flashman's post a while back on this subject, (2)
watching a certain anime which shall remain nameless, and (3) my own sick
mind. 

This thing's kinda ecchi folks. You've been warned. Oh, and I don't know if
I'll be continuing this or not. It depends on how disgusted the general
public is by it. At any rate, it's not going to be high on my list of
priorities.

Because is someone *had* to do it...

**********

	Some believe the universe is run by a gigantic computer system.
Invariably, this system screws up. Usually it's not a big deal, but
sometimes it has disatrous consequences.
	Of course, sometimes the consequences are just damned funny.

*****written by The Eternal Lost Lurker*****

	Say, for instance, that somewhere, a computer is monitoring the
distribution of special abilities handed down to special people, whose
purpose in life has already been fated: the people we refer to as
superheroes. 
	Generally, the system makes sure that the right abilities go to the right
heroes at the right time and place.
	However, no system is completely foolproof.

*****apologies to Naoko Takeuchi and Go Nagai*****

	This is the tale of one such cosmic foul-up...


**********

	In Juuban, a girl named Osaka Naru was screaming for help, as a demonic
creature which had impersonated her mother mercilessly attacked her,
hell-bent on draining her of her precious life energy.

	Across town, a black cat with a crescent moon on its forehead revealed a
precious secret to a young girl with long hair tied up in odango: the fact
that she could speak.
	"Listen to me, Usagi," the cat said. "My name is Luna..."
	"No way! A talking cat! It's not possible!"
	Luna sighed. "Usagi, listen to me, this is important! Your friend Naru is
in danger!"
	This brought Usagi up short. "Wha? Naru-chan? What...?"
	"There's no time for this!" the cat snapped, and leapt into the air, doing
a backflip. A crescent-moon shaped pendant appeared in midair, and fell to
the bed. Luna stared at it, blinking. "Odd...it was supposed to be a
brooch..."
	"What is that?" Usagi asked.
	"It's your destiny," Luna said. "Wear this pendant, and repeat after me:
Moon Prism Power, Make-Up!"
	Usagi did as she was asked. Nothing happened. "Well, now that we have
*that* out of our system..." Usagi smirked.
	Luna sweated. "I...I don't understand. That was supposed...you're supposed
to be..."
	"Supposed to be *what*?"
	Luna blinked. "I know it's you. You're supposed to be Sailor Moon! You
should have transformed into the warrior of the Moon Kingdom!"
	Usagi snorted. "Yeah, whatever..."
	"You must believe me! It's true! Would I make up something like that?"
	Usagi shrugged. "I think this is all just a weird dream anyway."
	Luna shook her head. "No...you *must* try again! Please!"
	Usagi sighed. "If I do, will you shut up and go away?" Luna nodded,
growing a sweatdrop. Usagi smirked, and began to shout, "Moon Prism..."
then she stopped, and shook her head, as if to clear it. "Wait...that's not
right," she said. Luna blinked. "Something...I feel words...I'm just not
sure..."
	Luna's eyes widened. "Usagi, whatever the words are, say them! Quickly!"
	Usagi nodded, and clutched her pendant. "Moon...FLASH!"
	The room exploded in blinding light...

	"Now, foolish girl, your energy will be MINE!!!"
	"NOOOOOO!!!!!!" Naru screamed as the youma advanced...
	"Hold it right there!" intruded a fairly embarrassed sounding voice. Naru
and the youma both turned to look at the shop entrance. A female silhouette
stood in the doorway.
	"Who dares?" the youma demanded.
	"I do," the voice said. It mumbled something about feeling ridiculous and
being embarrassed, then continued, "I stand for love and justice, and won't
allow you to harm innocent people!" 
	"Is that so?" the youma sneered, and took a shot at the figure. The
mystery woman leapt into the air, and somersaulted forward, landing in
plain view. The youma and Naru were both caught off-guard.
	Standing in the center of the store was a young woman, probably a
teenager. She wore knee-high red boots with crescent moon emblems near the
tops, and long white gloves with red trim. She also wore a mask which
covered her entire head. The mask itself was white, but the front had a
large golden ornament shaped like a crescent moon, which covered her lower
face, and curved around her eyes, which were visible through shielded
openings in the mask. 
	Aside from that, she was completely nude. 
	"Who the hell!?" the youma asked.
	Performing silly gestures with her hands, the naked girl said, "Ai to
seigi no, kekko bishoujo senshi...Kekko Moon! Tsuki ni kawatte, oshioki
yo!"
	After her speech, she hissed out of the side of her mouth, "Luna, I swear
when this is over I'm going to *kill* you."
	In the shadows of the store, the black cat bigsweated. 

	*****bishoujo senshi kekko moon*****

	The youma snarled. "Well, Kekko Moon...whoever you are...prepare to die!"
It grew several needle-like projections out of its shoulders, and began
firing them at Kekko Moon, who dodged frantically. Rolling to the side,
Moon whined, "Luna! What am I supposed to *do*?"
	Luna frowned. "Well, ordinarily you would use your tiara to defeat it..."
	Kekko Moon grabbed the black cat and strangled her. "DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE
A TIARA!?"
	"Calm...down...urk..." Luna frowned. "You must have some sort of
weapon..."
	"I don't even have anything to carry a weapon *with*," Usagi grumbled.
	Luna frowned, then slowly said, "Well..." and looked pointedly at Usagi's
nether-regions.
	Usagi blinked, then looked down, and blushed furiously. "Kono hentai neko!
That's too disgusting to think about!"
	Luna shrugged as best as she could. "You never know..."
	Kekko Moon suddenly had to dodge a few more needles, and landed several
meters from the youma. *Well, it's worth a shot,* she decided. Blushing
furiously, she reached down...

	The youma stared incredulously as Kekko Moon appeared to be... "What the
hell? In the middle of a fight? Are you that perverted, girl?" it yelled.
	Kekko Moon blushed. "Shut up! It's not like that! I'm trying to find
something to kill you with!"
	The youma smirked. "I don't think the odor of your..."
	Kekko Moon glared at the youma. "HEY! That's rude!" She crossed her arms.
"Besides, it doesn't stink..."
	Luna and Naru both sweatdropped. "Get ON WITH IT!" Luna snapped.
	"Okay okay," Kekko Moon said, and began searching herself. After a moment,
she shouted, "Aha! Got it!" She started to pull her hand out from between
her legs, then frowned. "What the-? Hey! What's the deal here?"
	"Are you finished yet?" the youma asked.
	"Gimme a minute. It's stuck," Kekko Moon said. She arched her back, and
raised one leg to the sky. The youma saw a glint of silver between her
legs. Kekko Moon began pulling at it. 
	Several seconds later, the youma, Naru, and Luna all stared in shock.
Kekko Moon blinked at the four-foot long, shimmering silver rapier in her
hand. Its hilt was a golden crescent moon. "How the--!?" 
	"Didn't that *hurt*?" the youma asked.
	Kekko Moon shook her head, then charged. The youma dodged and tried to
parry swing after swing with the rapier. Finally, Kekko Moon managed to
impale the creature through the arm. It screamed in pain.
	"Finish it off now, Kekko Moon!" Luna yelled.
	"Right!" Moon shouted. Then, something came to her, and she knew how to
finish off the youma. Withdrawing her sword, she backflipped away twice,
and began running forward again.
	"What--?" the youma wondered as it recovered its senses. Kekko Moon dived
into a forward flip. "FULL MOON!" she shouted. In the middle of the flip, a
beam of light shot from between her legs, tearing through the youma and
disintegrating it. Kekko Moon landed on her feet, and blinked. Luna emerged
from the shadows. 
	"Well done, Kekko Moon," the cat said. Kekko Moon glared at her. 
	"Luna...does the word "spayed" mean anything to you?"
	Luna gulped, and bolted for the door. 


---------------------------------
Notes:
Okay, aside from apologizing for this thing, I'll assign blame to Flashman
for planting the idea to begin with. Also, as far as Kekko Moon's
transformation phrase...it seemed appropriate. I won't apologize for that
either.

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Zankoku na tenshi no TEEZE
Madobe kara yagate tobitatsu
Hotobashiru atsui PATOSU de
Omoide wo uragiru nara
Kono sora wo daite kagayaku
Shounen yo shinwa ni nare

The Eternal Lost Lurker
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net

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