Love is What (Frightens You The Most) 
Chapter 5
Terrence Marks
normal@grove.ufl.edu
 
Chapter 5: Often Inclined To Borrow Somebody's Dreams 'Til 
        Tomorrow
 
There is someone in Texas.  He doesn't control the copyright 
to this.
 
Oh, and if I steal names from other series, it's because I 
don't know many Japanese names.  It's not as if the man named 
Ataru who is standing behind the vendor's cart is, 
coincidentally, a cameo appearance of Ataru from UY.  
 
And please...tell me if you like it or not...that sort of
thing really means a lot to me.  I want to improve this,
and I don't want this to be the chapter where everything
falls apart.  In other words, is it worth reading?  If it 
isn't, then I don't want to write something that isn't worth 
reading.  Any suggestions will be appreciated.
 
This has taken a long time to write, so I'm losing touch with 
the previous chapters...(the timeline is for my benefit.  
Otherwise, I'd probably switch from morning to night to 
morning again within the same day).  If anyone would care to 
make sure that I'm doing this right, let me know.  And I'll 
gladly email anyone a copy of previous chapters.  (This fic 
seems to crash mailing lists, so I won't post it to the FFML.)
 
Welcome to Love Is What, the story that asks the tough 
questions (like "Who am I?", "What am I supposed to do now?" 
and "This is What?")
 
                        *       *       *
 
        I don't know my right from my left
                I do not know where the next sun will set
 
I'll tell you one thing son.  Nobody ever lends money to a 
        man with a sense of humor. 
 
                        *       *       *
 
Kunou handed the sheet music to his session men and began to 
play.  They joined in, and the tune started to take on a less 
amusing tone.
 
                        *       *       * 
 
A tornado destroyed a small shop in Tomobiki.
 
                        *       *       *
 
Nabiki looked at her room.  It was set up to her satisfaction, 
and now she could start with the favourtie pasttime of the 
rich: destroying the lives of anyone that has ever caused you 
trouble.  At the top of her list was Soun Tendou.
 
 
                        *       *       *
 
Akane was studying.  The door was knocked upon.
 
"Come in.  Oh, hello, Kasumi.  What is it?"
 
Kasumi wrung her hands.  This worried Akane.
 
"I'm not exactly sure how to say this.  You're going to be the 
first person I've told, and, well, I always knew that this 
would happen, but I never thought it would be so soon and I've 
got all these plans but I'm not sure if they'll work and I'm 
just so nervous and excited that I'm not sure if --"
 
"What is it?"
 
"Well, it's Doctor Tofuu and I, we....well, there will be a 
lot of changes around here.  The important thing is that you 
keep it a secret.  I don't want everyone else to know just 
yet, and I don't think that Father would take it very well 
right now and--"
 
There was a knock on the door and Nabiki entered.  She looked 
rather emotional and mildly distraught.
"Akane, I have to tell you....Do you know why I came back here?"
 
Akane shook her head.
 
"I've found someone.  Someone that I think I want to spend the 
rest of my life with..."
 
"Who?" Kasumi and Akane asked in unison.
 
"Ranma."
 
                        *       *       *
 
Nabiki decided that she would go to Furinkan High School, in 
the same grade as Ranma and Akane.
 
                        *       *       *
 
"This", said Kodachi, "is the enemy.  Study closely and be 
prepared to destroy."
 
The rest of the St. Hebereke Gymnastics Club looked the 
enlarged poster over.  The poster showed a unicorn looking 
over a waterfall.  If a member of the Gymnastics Club ever 
came across a unicorn, it was assured that there was going to 
be trouble.  
 
Theoretically, the club should have had a poster of the 
Kolkhoz Gymnastics Team.  Someone lost that poster in a poker
game.  This was, in fact, the only poster that the St. 
Hebereke Gymnastics Club had left.  Apparently, someone in the 
club was quite bad at poker.
 
Several of the members stared at the poster for a few 
minutes.  After six minutes, club matters were declared to 
have been dealt with and the group moved on to the next 
subject, recreation continuing long into the night.
 
It was a standing tradition for the captain to host a 
sleepover party after the team won.  Currently there were two 
members who spent more time at Kodachi's house than at their 
own.
 
                        *       *       *       
 
Nabiki entered Ranma's room without knocking.
 
"Hey, I coulda been busy or naked or --"
 
Nabiki pounced Ranma.  The kind of pounces that Ranma was 
familiar with were the kind that involved either standing on 
your opponent and hurting him a lot or knocking 
your opponent down and hurting him a lot.
 
Needless to say, this was neither.
 
Ranma rejected his first idea (multiple hook punches to 
kidneys) in favour of his second idea (wave arms frantically 
and stammer).
 
"N-Nabiki...What are y-you doing?"
 
This turned out to be much less effective than his original 
idea.
 
"What do you think I'm doing?"
 
If Ranma were the type to phrase things clearly, he might have 
said "You're leaping onto me in an obvert display of emotions, 
which counterpoints the generally subdual of affections in 
modern Japanese culture."  However, he wasn't the type to do 
this.  That was in Nabiki's favour, because she rather enjoyed 
watching him squirm.  What he did say, though, was "Get off of 
me!", which got the point across.
 
"I see.  Saving yourself for that upperclassman that Akane 
used to like?"
 
"NO!"
 
"Then....what?"
 
"Well, for starters, I'm engaged to your sister."
 
"Au contraire.  You're engaged to me now."
 
"Don't I get a say in this?"
 
"You were unhappy, she was unhappy.  You ought to be thanking 
me."
 
"I don't want to get married to anyone!"
 
"Why not?"
 
"I've got too many problems to get married."
 
"I'm sure that you can find a girl who will put up with your 
faults."
 
Ranma looked confused.  "No, it's all my old man's fault."
 
"I know the feeling."
 
"What I'm trying to say is....I don't wanna marry you right 
now."
 
"Why not?"
 
"Well, I don't know you."
 
Nabiki shifted in such a way as to make the fact that she had 
pounced him more obvious.  "I came here so that we could get 
to know each other better."  This didn't have the desired 
effect.
 
"That's not what I meant."
 
Nabiki stood up.  "I'll see you tomorrow, then"
 
                        *       *       *
 
"Three fives."
 
Kodachi had a pair of nines.  She signed resignedly.  She had 
lost the last fourteen games, which had included poker, 
blackjack, bridge, whist and go fish.  
 
"Again?"
 
Kodachi nodded.  "And it seems I've run out of chips.  How much 
do I owe you?"
 
"Well," said Natsume, "suffice to say that if you weren't 
playing among friends, you might have to start pawning 
things.  Didn't you win a date with some guy at yesterday's 
match?"
 
"I think I have claim to someone."
 
"I thought that you got claims to land, not people."
 
"Well, whatever that means, I won it."
 
"Is he cute?"
 
"I don't know.  I've never met him."
 
"Well, my luck's been good tonight.  I'll take him off of your 
hands, then.  Would you be as kind as to set up the details?"
 
Kodachi nodded.  Natsume pushed a large pile of poker chips to 
her.
 
                        *       *       *
 
The Saotome and Tendou families were eating breakfast.
Ranma was displeased.  It was bad enough having multiple 
fiancees, a curse and a father like his.  Things like that 
were bad, but tolerable.  However, every man has his limits.
"School?!  But it's Sunday."
 
"Yeah.  We missed a day three weeks ago when the power went 
out and now we have to make it up", Akane said.
 
"Why do I have to go?  I wasn't enrolled when that happened."
 
"Well, you still weren't in school that day."
 
"Aw, man.  I still say it's not fair that we have to go to 
school."
 
"Not we, Ranma.  You.  The district has been kind enough to 
offer me a day to recover from the gymnastics tournament."
 
"So all you gotta do to get out of school is get beat up by 
someone from another school?"  Ranma found himself on the 
recieving end of a Death Glare.
 
"Don't worry, Ranma.  I'll go with you", said Nabiki, "After 
all, since we're engaged, we may as well spend the day getting 
to know each other."
 
Genma was surprised.  Soun was even more suprised.  "You're 
engaged to Ranma now?"
 
Nabiki glared icily at him and nodded.  
 
"That's nice that you're engaged to Ranma now, Nabiki.  That's 
real nice, now."  Soun hoped that Nabiki wasn't thinking bad 
thoughts about him.
 
                        *       *       *
 
Ranma arrived at school.  Someone was expecting him.
 
"What foul treachery is this that I may not be free of your
vile presence for one day this week?"
 
Ranma stared dumbly at Tatewaki.
 
"You have turned Akane's heart against me, in hopes of 
ensnaring one of us in your foul sorcery, but be wary, such 
trickery shall not work."
 
Ranma stared dumbly at Tatewaki again.  "What are you--"
 
"The time for talk is over, Saotome.  Now is the time for 
action!"
 
Tatewaki acted.  Ranma dodged.  This went on for about a 
minute.  
 
"You have whispered poison into the ear of the entire school,
but even if you had an entire army at your back, you could
not hope to defeat the Blue Thunder."  Tatewaki dropped to
the ground.  Nabiki was behind him, holding a mallet.
 
"Why'd you do that, Nabiki?"
 
Nabiki put the mallet away and giggled.
 
Ranma looked at the clock and started towards class.
 
 
                        *       *       *
 
The teacher looked the class over.  All six of them.  "Well, 
I'm not going to teach on a Sunday, and I take it that you 
aren't going to learn."  The class nodded.  "Then we're having 
a tea party."
 
"Why?"
 
"Because I always wanted to have a tea party in school.  Are 
there any problems with that?"
 
No-one said anything.
 
"Good."
 
The teacher pulled out a silver tray and told the students to 
gather their desks into a circle.
 
"Now, I don't have any tea with me, so we're all going to have 
to pretend.  But first, we have a new student.  Class, say 
'Hello' to Nabiki Tendou."
 
The a majority of the class was, at this point, too nervous to 
really say much.  There was a fair amount of waving.  Nabiki 
took a seat next to Ranma.  
 
"Shinobu usually sits there, but he's absent today."
 
"Can I sit here for the rest of the year?", Nabiki asked.
 
"Only if he's out for the rest of the year.
 
                        *       *       *
Shinobu was out for the rest of the year.
                        *       *       *       
 
The bell rang.  After a minute or two, Ranma spoke up.  
"What about the next class, teacher?"
 
"You want to leave my tea party?" 
 
"I was just wondering, that's all."
 
"No.  No other classes.  We knew that you weren't going to 
show up, and we knew that if you showed up, you weren't going 
to learn, and if you were going to learn, we weren't going to 
teach.  So why worry about the next class if nothing is going 
to happen?"
 
"So...why are we here?"
 
"To make up for lost time."
 
"But we aren't actually doing anything."
 
"That, Mr. Saotome, is because you can never make up for lost 
time." 
 
Ranma blinked.  "But I thought--"
 
"Or, on the other hand, I have a whole stack of worksheets."
 
Ranma withdrew his objection.
 
"I thought so.  One lump or two?"
 
                        *       *       *
 
Lunch was fairly interesting.  Kaori was there.  Nabiki was 
there.  Both were trying to make sure that he ate a lunch 
prepared (or bought) by her.  This was a new experience for 
him, and he decided to eat all that he could and please 
everyone involved.
 
There grew a wind.  Natsume approached.  "Are you 
Ranma Saotome?"
 
He nodded.
 
It started to rain.  Ranma was fairly pinned down by a girl
offering him ramen and a girl offering him some French pastry.
 
"I've got this contract here and -- Hey!  You're a girl!"
 
At this point, everyone in the general vicinity was shocked.
Fortunately for Ranma, the rest of the school had the sense 
to go indoors when it rained, so he only risked alienating
the people who cared about him, as opposed to alienating the
school populace at large.
 
Ranma started to explain frantically.
 
No-one took any of this well.
 
Natsume, for instance, started muttering something about 
Kodachi as she ran off.
 
Kaori stood around looking shocked.
 
Nabiki looked nonplussed, but that was to be expected.
 
Then it got worse.
 
"Oh, pig-tailed girl!"
 
It seems that not everyone at Furinkan High School really did
have enough sense to come in from the rain.  Tatewaki Kunou
was currently holding Ranma in a most...undesirable position.
 
"Get off of me!"
 
Tatewaki was thrown violently.  He again ran towards Ranma.
Kaori knocked him down with a series of kicks.  
 
"You have defeated me in combat.  I will allow you to date 
with me...", Tatewaki paused, trying to think of a set of
adjectives to describe Kaori.
 
"Her name is Kaori."
 
"Thank you, Nabiki.  You have defeated me in combat, Kaori, 
and I shall allow you to date with me."
 
Kaori was speechless.
 
"He's gone", Nabiki said.
 
"Your powers of observation fail you, Nabiki.  The pig-tailed
girl is a girl."
 
Nabiki decided not to contradict him.
 
"However, I am in the company of my one true love, and I do 
not care for such matters."
 
"I'm flattered."
 
"Not *you*, Nabiki", Tatewaki looked around.  "It appears that Kaori has 
disappeared also."
 
"I think that they went over there."  Nabiki pointed in a random
direction and walked off.
 
                        *       *       *
 
Neither Natsume nor Kodachi were pleased with the situation.
 
"Kodachi.  Ranma Saotome is some crazy girl who thinks that 
she's a guy." 
 
"What?"
 
"You sold me a date with some girl who thinks that she's a 
guy.  Do you think that this is funny?"
 
"I assumed that he was a man."
 
"You were wrong."
 
Kodachi rang a bell.  Sasuke appeared.
 
"Sasuke, has my brother ever mentioned a Ranma Saotome?"
 
Sasuke nodded.
 
"And of which gender is this Ranma Saotome?"
 
"Male, I thought."
 
"Thank you."
 
"Will there be anything else?"
 
"No."
 
Sasuke disappeared.
 
"Now, Natsume, it appears that we have conflicting information."
 
"You don't trust me?"
 
"Currently, we have two reliable sources that state that Ranma 
Saotome is male and female."
 
"Perhaps your brother believed her when she said she was 
really a man."
 
"Perhaps.  I believe that this warrants further investigation."
 
Natsume nodded.
 
                        *       *       *
 
Ranma walked home alone.
 
Kaori and Nabiki met in a small restaurant after school.
 
For nearly an hour, they negotiated over Ranma.  At the end, 
both felt that they had been taken advantage of.
 
The end result was a competition that was somewhere between 
diplomacy, a scavenger hunt and a triathalon.
 
Neither was particularly happy with the results.
 
                        *       *       *
 
Kunou started playing a lurching, jolly tune at half-speed.  
Only the bass guitarist and pianist were there.  They joined 
in at the middle of the second verse.
 
A tornado touched down at some famouse Japanese businessplace 
in downtown Tokyo (I'd make up a name, but you probably 
wouldn't recognize it, and it's not that important.  I mean, I 
could take the easy way out and say that it's Mishima Heavy 
Industries, but I don't want to.  My other alternatives are to 
pick some famous company or just string together letters and 
hope that it looks important and Japanese.  Maybe it was a 
multimillion-dollar hamburger stand, or maybe it was the 
headquarters for the world's third largest tricycle factory.  
Anyhow, there's a less of it now than there was an hour ago, 
and it probably made the news, unless three other important 
things happened.)
 
                        *       *       *
 
Nabiki walked into the Tendou house.  Kasumi had a visitor.  
 
"No, I haven't seen Mr. Saotome since I this morning.  Would 
you like some tea, Miss --"
 
"Please, call me Kaori.  Thank you, Miss Tendou."
 
Nabiki entered the kitchen.  She pulled a miniature pickaxe 
from her handbag.
 
"Would you like something, Nabiki?"
 
In most any other situation, Nabiki would have said something 
about liking to personally tear down this house, brick by 
brick.  She didn't, though.  "I was just going to get a glass 
of water."  Nabiki put the pickaxe away.
 
Kasumi was oblivious to this.  Kaori, however, didn't get 
where she was without paying close attention to small metallic 
objects.  "Nabiki's list, Item 5: a walnut-sized piece of 
plaster from the wall of the Tendou kitchen, to be gathered 
between 4 pm and sunset", she remembered.  All she had to do 
was to make sure that Kasumi noticed Nabiki or was in the 
kitchen.
 
All Nabiki had to do was make sure that Kasumi was paying 
attention to something else.
 
Kaori and Nabiki grinned evilly at each other.
 
"Excuse me, Miss Tendou", Kaori said.
 
"Would you like some more tea?"
 
"Yes, please."
 
Nabiki volunteered to get it.
 
"No, it's no trouble."
 
Nabiki was perturbed.  "You're treating me like a guest,
Kasumi.  I live here now and I'll take responsibility."
 
"I'm sorry, Nabiki.  Could you bring the laundry in from 
outside, then?"
 
Nabiki tried to think of an excuse and failed.
 
Kasumi and Kaori continued to talk about the Saotome 
family.
 
                        *       *       *
 
Kodachi called Natsume, via phone.
 
"Natsume?"
 
"Yes?"
 
"Ranma Saotome is currently staying at the Tendou Dojo.  According
to Miss Kasumi Tendou, Ranma is male."
 
"Was she sure?"
 
"Quite."
 
"Is she a reliable source?"
 
"Nabiki-oneechan had previously described her as 'an evil, 
treacherous being spawned from the depths of hell, capable of 
any act of malice or evil', or suchlike."
 
Natsume nodded.  "I think that we shall have to ask someone else."
 
                        *       *       *
 
Kaori walked through the woods surrounding Tokyo, looking for 
Genma Saotome.  Some men had seen a panda headed this way and 
she followed.
 
Of course, only Kasumi Tendou could make a phrase like "Yes, 
he's a panda sometimes." seem entirely reasonable, and it 
wasn't until an hour after Kaori left that she realized this.
 
If it wasn't for the fact that everyone had seen a panda 
headed this way, she would have turned back long ago.
 
                        *       *       *
 
Nabiki picked up a phone and dialed.
 
"Hello, Sky and Air Travel Agency?"
 
"Yes.  You'll have to discontinue all of your trips involving 
Europe, and burn the brochures."
 
"Yes, I know how much it would cost.  I sent you the money 
yesterday."
 
She hung up.
 
In a related incident, all maps and atlasses were removed from 
the Tokyo area.
 
In a much more pivotal incident, Ranma Saotome found his 
geography textbook missing.
 
                        *       *       *
 
 
1) Well, the thing about Nabiki keeping Ranma from knowing 
European geography?  I was thinking of doing something that 
the anyone could relate to.  Then I decided to try and write a 
plot that no-one could relate to at all.  Something that would 
never come up in day-to-day life.  And I wanted something that 
would be an ample challenge for Nabiki's resources.
 
1b) It would be a cool episode of The Monkees, too, where 
Micky, Mike and Davy had to keep Peter from learning European 
geography.  I could see them doing something like that, in a 
similar fashion.
 
Timeline:
 
Day 0:
Ranma, Genma arrive
(Sunday)
 
Day 1:
Kaori arrives, Ranma goes to school
Ch1
Kunou meets pigtailed girl
Golden Pair challenge Akane and Tatewaki
Principal Kunou arrives
ch2
(Monday)
 
Day 2:
Ranma teaches Akane to skate
Kodachi visits the telescope shop
ch2
(Tuesday)
 
Day 3:
The skating match
ch2
Akane wakes up and dumps Kunou
ch3
(Wednesday)
 
Day 4:
Kodachi rearranges the tournament
Ranma sees Kodachi for the first time
Akane and Tatewaki are out of school
ch3
(Thursday)
 
Day 5:
Akane and Tatewaki return to school
Akane gets challenge to Gymnastics match
ch3
Akane trains
Kaori finds flyer
Kasumi visits Tofuu's house.
ch4
(Friday)
 
Day 6:
The gymnastics match
Nabiki arrives.
Ch4
(Saturday)
Nabiki becomes engaged to Ranma
Gymnastics Club Party
 
Day 7:
Ch5
(Sunday)
Nabiki's engagement to Ranma
Natsume and Kodachi's arrangement.
School/Tea Party.
Nabiki and Kaori's arrangement.
Genma Saotome disappears.


Terrence Marks
Remember-Jesus is your friend.
normal@grove.ufl.edu