(Scene: The lair of the wizard SKJAM!, which looks remarkably
like an English gentleman's den. The mighty one seems to have dozed off,
and Tokyo police officer Kira Midori is shaking his shoulder.)
Kira: Wake up! We're on!
SKJAM!: Death to the evil Pantyhose! Uh, whazzat?
Kira: "Onna: Red Side" is back. And you're supposed to be trying to
tolerate you-know-who...
SKJAM!: Uh, right then. Shall we begin the beguine?
Kira: And just how many of our readers know what a beguine is anyway?
SKJAM!: About as many as got the Blackie DuQuesne joke last time...
On Thu, 7 Aug 1997, ROBERT MORRISON wrote:
Kira: He changed his name *again*?
SKJAM!: Creative folk are funny that way.
Kira: So are wanted felons.
Okay! A few preliminary notes to this chapter...
1) This is the end of act three.
SKJAM!: Okay...
2) Sorry it took so long to get this one out.
SKJAM!: I fully understand.
Ranma (off): I don't hear you typing "Worse"! Don't make me come in
there!
3) I'm entering brand new and unfamiliar territory with this one. I'm
trying to keep everything I'm bringing into the story as close to the
original manga as possible, but with my limited experience regarding
anything beyond the first series, I'm playing it by ear.
Kira: You haven't been able to buy the tankoubon, then?
I don't know the layout of the bridge of the NSX, so I *ahem*
*borrowed* a bridge layout I'm familiar and comfortable with. It
should be fairly recognizable.
Also, I *ahem* borrowed characteristics of two other known beings
in the creation of the, ahem, new villain. These should also be
fairly recognizable. Please don't shoot me for anything I borrowed!
Kira: You are most fortunate that as a fictional character I do not have
the actual ability to arrest someone outside a story...
Well, here it is. Act Four begins soon...I'm not even going to bother
going back to revise this one yet. It can wait. Enjoy!
SKJAM!: We'll give it our best shot.
Chapter 17: Victories, Setbacks
Kira: So, quick tie-up of current plotline, on to the next...
Sounds of celebration rang out through the halls of the palace as
the group of warriors entered.
"Sounds like a party," Ukyou commented. Clef and Ferio came
rushing out to greet them.
SKJAM!: ~\o celebrate good times, come on! o/~
"You did it! Thank you so very much!" Ferio said.
Clef smiled. "The Blemish on Zagato has vanished, and our spells
are slowly reversing the damage to the Princess. We are in your debt.
Kira: You are just *so* lucky Nabiki isn't there.
" He noticed the stretcher upon which lie...he couldn't tell. "What
SKJAM!: "lay"
happened?" he asked, motioning at her with his staff.
Everyone looked at each other nervously. "Umm...we're still not
sure. It was strange," Akane said.
"The whole thing is a very long story," Mousse said. "We should
tell it when we have had a chance to rest up."
Clef nodded. "Very well. Let us adjourn to the banquet room. You
can rest and relax there, and I'm sure you wouldn't mind a good meal.
Kira: Unfortunately, Akane volunteered to cook.
"
There was laughter and hearty agreement with that statement, and
the party proceeded to the dining hall.
In the greyness of the sleeping mind, a single girl with a fiery
orange aura began to shimmer, her aura fading. With a great tearing
sound, she split into two halves.
SKJAM!: Unfortunately, not male and female halves, but right and left
halves.
<Oh MAN, do I have a headache,> Ranma said, groggily rising to his
knees. He saw Hikaru, lying on the floor, nearby. <Oi, Hikaru! Are
you okay?>
Kira: (Hikaru voice) No, you baka, I just had to share my entire essence
with a hentai!
Hikaru stirred, groaning. <Oohhhhh....what happened?> She began to
sit up, and Ranma staggered over to sit beside her. <I...I can barely
remember anything...>
SKJAM!: Shouldn't have had that third bottle of tequila.
Ranma nodded. <I know whatcha mean, Hikaru. It's all kinda foggy.
Kira: Maybe if I take off Doc Toufuu's glasses...
Hikaru rubbed her head, and frowned. <I...I think we did it...>
Ranma blinked. <Skylark?>
SKJAM!: No, you idiot! Mad passionate sex!
Hikaru nodded. <We beat her. I...I think...>
Kira: (Hikaru voice) Or did we whip her? I'm really not up on my B&D
terminology.
They both tried to remember for a minute. As they concentrated, a
ghostly image formed before them, of a third girl, who could be their
twin, but had purple eyes, and was surrounded by an orange glow.
Ranma blinked. <Th...that's us.>
Hikaru nodded. <I...remember more now. We...we....> She gasped.
<Ranma-kun! We did it! We joined!>
SKJAM!: The Marines!
Ranma grinned. <It worked? Cool!>
The image before them wavered, and vanished. Hikaru sighed. <That
was a rough experience though.>
Ranma nodded. <Yeah, pretty intense. I hope we don't need to do
that again anytime soon.>
Hikaru yawned. <I'm completely drained.> She hugged Ranma. <I'm
gonna rest a little while, Ranma-kun.>
Ranma nodded, returning the hug. <Alright.>
And after a moment of gathering his thoughts, Ranma woke up.
Kira: Completely naked, with a funny taste in his mouth, and his pillow
was gone.
"Oi, Torin...can you take care of that collapsed roof?"
In one of the small villages of Cephiro, a small boy standing on a
floating rock hovered in the air above a mostly caved-in dwelling,
before which stood a large creature resembling a minotaur. The boy
had a thick mop of dark orange hair which hung over his eyes,
completely obscuring them. He wore large, bell-shaped green and white
robes, and a ridiculously large beret.
SKJAM!: These must be the folks sent to help the villagers before.
"Please help us if you can, Bal Ascot," a weary-looking man said,
holding on tightly to a woman who appeared to be quite pregnant and
on the virge of collapse.
SKJAM!: "verge"
The boy nodded, and shouted, "Oi, Torin, can you do it, or do you
need help?"
Kira: Yes, I'm sure the big husky minotaur needs help lifting from a
little boy.
The minotaur looked up, snorted a bit of steam, then lumbered
closer to the house. Reaching in, it grabbed the remains of a
thatched roof, and lifted them carefully out of the house, tossing
them onto a pile of similar debris behind the structure. Ascot smiled
at the beast, and flew in closer, lowering himself into the house. A
moment later, he emerged, with a frightened-looking young child
clinging to his floating stone. Ascot gently eased his mount to the
ground, and the child scampered towards the man and woman.
"Oi, Torin! Good work! Please see if you can tend to some of the
other damaged buildings while I help the people, alright?"
Torin nodded, and lumbered off towards the center of town. The man
and woman smiled gratefully at Ascot as he approached them. "Thank
you so much, Bal Ascot," the man said.
Ascot smiled gently. "It's no problem, really, and you should
thank Torin...he's the one who lifted that roof."
The woman smiled, and nodded. "Yes, your friend is very kind,
despite his unusual appearance. I'm sorry any of us ever thought of
your friends as monsters."
SKJAM!: And made them live in a segregated part of town, only let them
drink at "monster"-designated water fountains, refused to serve them at
lunch counters...
Ascot shrugged. "It's understandable, I suppose." He sighed. "Well,
we need to get you to a healer. There's one in Grem, which hasn't
been hit by the darkness." He floated up into the sky, and began
tracing a glowing pentagram in the air. "Come forth, please, Fal!
These people need an air transport to the healer in Grem!"
Kira: And an F-16 rocketed forth.
A large green falcon-like bird emerged from the pentagram, and
swooped to the ground with a shriek. Ascot lowered himself to the
ground and patted the large bird on the head. "Fal, please take these
gentle people to the next town, and deposit them at the healer. Will
you do this for me, my friend?"
SKJAM!: Couldn't I just eat them, boss?
The bird bobbed its head, and lowered its body so the family could
board it. They did so, expressing their gratitude to the young
Summoner, and Fal took flight, disappearing quickly into the distance.
Kira: Pity there weren't any seatbelts...
Ascot smiled sadly as he made his way towards the village square.
"It would be wrong for any of these people to have to suffer any more
than they already have," he commented as he surveyed the damaged town.
"How could we have been so terrible to these people?" he wondered.
SKJAM!: Maybe because you were being paid?
He spotted Torin gently deposting a group of frightened-looking
merchants on the ground next to the husk of a market building, and
headed over. "Oi, how many wounded among your party?" he asked as he
approached.
Kira: None, just hurt folks.
Before anyone could answer, something permeated the air. A sense
of malice, of cruelty. Ascot and Torin looked up nervously. "Torin,"
SKJAM!: Cruella DeVille!
Ascot hissed, knowing the creature could hear him no matter how
softly he spoke, "Protect these people. Something evil is around."
The minotaur snuffed an affirmative.
Kira: Poor affirmative!
"My, what a kind boy you are," a light voice rang through the dark
air. It was a female voice, definitely, and it seemed to have an odd,
metallic ring to it.
SKJAM!: Lady Deathstrike!
The voice also, unmistakably, spoke in an Osaka dialect.
Kira: Though how *Ascot* knows this is questionable.
Ascot went pale. "How...what--?"
A tinny, light giggle echoed through the village. "Such a *dear*,
*sweet*, *kind* boy you've become. I taught you better, you know. You
make me sick, Ascot..."
SKJAM!: Someone from Ascot's past then. And it seems he's been
summoning flu bugs...
Suddenly, a black, malicious beam of light cut through the air,
striking the young Bal, who spun wildly out of the air, slamming hard
into the ground. The people screamed, and Torin gave a bellow of
anger and surprise.
Kira: Damn those malicious beams of light!
That tinny laugh rang out again, chilling everyone to the bone.
The laugh was followed by echoes of a bell jingling.
SKJAM!: Vixen?
Ascot remained unconscious.
Kira: Smart kid.
Ranma shuffled into the dining hall of the palace, where a
celebration was heartily taking place. Everyone smiled kindly at the
boy as he dropped himself into a plush chair at the grand table.
"Welcome, Ranma," Clef said. "Are you alright?"
Ranma nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Hikaru's fine too, but she's worn
out from what we did to Skylark." At the questioning glances, Ranma
told the tale of his and Hikaru's decision to merge, and the results,
as well as he remembered them.
"So that's what that was all about," Akane said. Clef and Cologne
stared at the boy with astonishment and a new level of respect. "That
was quite a feat, for both of you," Cologne said.
Just then, there was a commotion outside in the hallway. Everyone
looked up to see what was going on.
SKJAM!: Fortunately, it was just a duel to the death.
A haggard-looking merchant staggered into the dining hall,
accompanied by a palace guard. "Forgive...intrusion, Highness, Guru...
trouble...Bima..." His eyes rolled up into his head, and he passed
out. Everyone gasped.
Kira: A new Wal-Mart opened, destroying the downtown!
The guard said, "Something is going on in Bima. I couldn't get the
full story, but apparently something terrible has happened to Bal
Ascot."
Clef frowned. "Ascot? We must look into this."
SKJAM!: I don't see why you're so concerned with a piece of cloth...
Umi blinked. "That little brat with the monsters? The one we
slapped some sense into around the time Hikaru got blasted?"
Kira: And apparently it worked.
Clef nodded. "The Summoner, Ascot. He's been doing much good work
since you girls departed from this world. He's been involved heavily
in the rebuilding, along with his creatures. We'd have been lost
without him." Clef sighed, closing his eyes. "The thought of
something bad happening to Ascot..."
SKJAM!: Makes me want to cheer!
Cologne rose, perching on her staff, and gestured to the door. "I
suggest, then, that we call the celebration to a halt until we can
find out what is going on." With that, she bounded for the door. Clef
and Ferio followed her, eventually accompanied by the others.
SKJAM! (Ranma voice): Can't it wait until I finish eating?
As the group emerged from the palace gates, they were treated to
yet another unusual sight.
Kira: A lemon fic with a good plotline.
Approaching the palace was a large minotaur-like creature,
cradling something in its hands as it lumbered close. A green falcon
circled warily above its head, shrieking mournfully. The fighters in
the group tensed, but Clef waved his staff in their direction,
shaking his head. They backed down slightly.
SKJAM!: They'd all taken one too many from Cologne's staff.
Ferio, Clef, and Cologne approached the beast as it lumbered to a
halt. It knelt before the young Prince and the two Gurus, and
carefully laid a small, still form on the ground before it. The
falcon perched on the minotaur's head, crying out pitifully.
Kira: o/~ titwillow, titwillow, titwillow ~\o
Clef gasped. The boy before him was severely burned. A dark force
crackled along the wounds.
Cologne grimaced. "Whatever attacked him, was evil, and had no
soul."
SKJAM!: (Sherlock Holmes voice) Also, she had a rose tattoo on her left
buttock, and prefers smoking unfiltered cigarettes.
Everyone crowded forward. Umi gasped. While Ascot had been a
nuisance, she knew he wasn't a bad kid. To see him in this shape...
Kira: She'd actually been hoping for more of an octagon.
Ascot groaned, and slightly opened his one good eye, the other
having swollen shut. "Guru...Clef..."
"Ascot...what happened?"
"In Bima...attacked..." he groaned, struggling to prop himself up
on his elbows. "...illusionist...evil...stop her...please..." He
dropped back to the ground, his eyes closing, his breathing shallow.
"Sentries!" snapped Ferio. "Bring a stretcher, and no fewer than
four healers." Several guards moved to comply.
SKJAM!: Comply, a village far from the troubled lands of Cephiro...
Clef frowned, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Evil illusionist...
"
Umi scowled. "They usually are." This earned her a sharp glare
from Cologne, which surprisingly silenced her.
Kira: Oh, so Cologne doesn't like people badmouthing illusionists?
Wonder why?
Clef shook his head. "It doesn't make any sense. There are no more
illusionists in Cephiro. The only one who existed in the world was
killed two years ago, by the Water Knight..."
SKJAM!: And she couldn't have trained a successor?
Everyone looked at Umi, who shuffled her feet.
Ferio frowned. "Well, apparently there is one around. And we need
to find out what's going on before..."
Kira: A village explodes.
The prince was cut off by the sound of an incredible explosion in
the distance. Everyone gasped, as a great plume of black fire erupted
in the distance, spraying charred rubble, earth, and probably bodies
in all directions.
Clef's eyes were wide in shock. "That...that's Bima," he said.
Cologne shook her head. "*Was* Bima. I doubt there is anything
left of the town now."
SKJAM!: Oops, too late.
Ferio scowled, and barked an order at the sentries who had
returned. "I *will* know what is going on, and the sooner I have an
answer, the better," he said. "I demand to know who is responsible
for this."
Kira: Robert Morrison.
"Yes, your Highness," the sentries chorused, and began snapping
commands at their underlings, ordering horses readied for the ride to
Bima.
Clef turned to the assembled warriors. "I would ask you to remain
and help us, but this isn't your battle. If you wish to return to
your world, I will see to it."
Ranma shook his head. "We ain't goin' nowhere." He turned to his
comrades. "I dunno about the rest of you, but I'm kinda gettin'
attached to this place. I don't wanna see any more bullshit happen
SKJAM!: Especially since I still haven't eaten.
here."
Ryouga, Ukyou, Shampoo, Mousse, and Akane nodded solemnly. "It's a
martial artist's duty to protect the innocent and the defenseless,"
Ryouga said.
"Shampoo no like see town blow up like that. Remind of bad legend
from old days of Amazons. Shampoo stay fight."
"Count me in too," Mousse said.
"Hey, I got nothin' better to do," Ukyou said. "This world's kinda
growin' on me too."
Kira: Try using a fungicide.
Akane nodded. "If what Umi and Fuu told us about the last time is
true, no time is passing in our world, so we've got nothing to lose
by staying to help out."
SKJAM!: Except your lives, sanity, various body parts...
Umi and Fuu stepped forward. "And we're staying as well," Fuu said.
Umi nodded, a fierce scowl on her face. "Regardless of the past,
we have a duty to this world, as its Legendary Magic Knights. We'll
do our best, for Cephiro."
Clef smiled. "You are truly remarkable young people. The people of
this world are very lucky, to have your group on our side."
Kira: Aah! Politician speech!
Umi looked towards the palace. "While the sentries are
investigating, we need to see to Ascot. If he wakes up, he may be
able to tell us more."
Clef nodded. "Yes. Also, the rest of you can give Presea the
Escudo you got at the spring."
Everyone looked around nervously. "Anou..." Ryouga said. "We, um...
there wasn't any."
Clef blinked. "No Escudo?"
SKJAM! and Kira (in really bad harmony) o/~ Yes, we have no Escudo, we
have no Escudo today! ~\o
At this point, Presea joined the group. Where
she'd been, was
anyone's guess. "They're right, Guru Clef. I've been doing some work
SKJAM!: Spatula City?
Kira: Dayton's 24-Hour Sale?
with the newer surveys. We made a mistake sending them to Eterna for
the mineral. But," she said, "I think I know where there is a large
supply of it..."
SKJAM!: And it's only twice as dangerous as Eterna!
"We'll discuss this as we wait for information," Ferio announced,
striding towards the palace briskly."
Clef smiled after him. "That youth has become a very dutiful
leader to his people," he said. "Even before Emeraude fell ill."
"Cephiro is lucky to have such a great prince," Fuu said. Umi
nudged her playfully, and she blushed.
Kira: (Fuu voice) And Ferio's filled out nicely too, hubba hubba!
"Well," Presea said, "I think we should adjourn to the war room."
SKJAM!: Right next door to the peace room, and across the hall from the
ceasefire room.
At the collective nods of the young warriors, the group returned to
the palace. Torin and Fal stood stoically before its gates,
apparently keeping guard.
Various machines thrummed and whirred, and panels flashed lights
Kira: Naughty panels!
and chirped merrily in a spacious, sterile room with machines on
every surface. Technicians and the like scurried about, and the
activity and excitement level in the room was high. Amidst it all, in
SKJAM!: This is your activity and excitement level on dope.
a central seat, sat a handsome, somewhat amused-looking youth, with
short blond hair and twinkling eyes. He had a white cloak wrapped
about him, and was staring intently at a large screen.
Kira: He refused to miss a minute of Nurse Angel Ririka SOS, no matter
what the critics said.
A door hissed open, and much of the rapid chatter hushed, becoming
muted whispers of awe. The youth in the chair looked up, and smiled.
A strange figure stepped into the chamber. The figure was very
obviously female, with tight black metal-and-leather armor which
encased her entire body, hugging her curves, leaving virtually
nothing to the imagination. Her head was also encased in a shell of
black leather, with an effeminate mask artfully etched into the
leather. She also wore a broad helmet, which provided one of the few
traces of color about her person, being detailed with thin streaks of
pink down the center, and bearing a large, pink, fibrous ornament on
top. Inset in the left eye of her mask was a round pink crystal, with
a small, simple, perfect blood-red chip of ruby embedded beneath its
smooth surface.
SKJAM!: Looks like Umi didn't quite finish the job...
The only thing which contrasted with the ornate and elegant
appearance of her costume were the various wires and coils of tubing
which snaked along her body, much of it emerging from or entering her
helmet. A small bank of lighted indicators was artfully contoured to
the curve her her chest, functional without distorting the
Kira: "curve of"
spectacular image of her graceful curves. A black cloak flowed from
her shoulders, pooling at her black-booted feet. A hiss of mechanized
air intake and outflow steadily issued from her, and as she walked, a
faint jingling sound, like soft bells, could be heard, even above the
whirring sound of servo motors.
SKJAM!: o/~ I've got spurs that go jingle, jangle, jingle ~\o
She strode purposefully across the floor of the chamber, stopping
before the chair. The youth in the chair respectfully inclined his
head. "Welcome back, Lady Mirage. I assume your trip was successful?
Kira: (Lady Mirage voice) NO, it was a complete disaster. Not one
single man complimented my outfit.
"
"Thank you, Commander. Yes, it was very successful. I do not think
this...expedition will fail. Cephiro seems to be rather short on
defenses."
SKJAM!: Hoo boy is *she* in for a shock.
The young man grinned. "Excellent. I feel much more confident
about this mission with you present, Lady Mirage."
"You should, Commander. You should." With that, she strode out of
the room, cape swishing, air hissing, servos whirring, and bells
jingling. Activity resumed normal levels with her departure.
Kira: As the dope wore off.
"Alright everyone," the man in the center seat said, "It's time.
Geo!"
"Ready, Commander," a tall man with short black hair and a
headband answered crisply.
The commander chuckled. "Set course to Cephiro. And lose the
formality."
SKJAM!: (Geo voice) I tried, sir. It just keeps finding its way back!
"Okay...we're underway, Eagle."
Eagle Vision smiled. This was a good day.
Kira: To die.
---end act three---
SKJAM!: And that's all from us for now!
SKJAM!