[AMS] [UY] "AA Oni!" (2/5)

Chapter Two: "Do you believe in Lum?"

By Henry J. Cobb

$Id: aa_oni2.txt,v 1.3 1997/06/22 19:15:55 hcobb Exp $



The AMS characters and situations are the creation of Kosuke Fujishima,

the UY characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi,

no infringement of their copyrights is intended.



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My name is Keiichi Morisato.  I go to Nekomi Tech, where I study

automotive engineering.  I'm a perfectly ordinary guy, a little short

and frankly scrawny, but somehow I've wound up living at this strange

temple with a 16-year old alien girl.



"Darling, it's time for Breakfast cha!"



I rolled over and looked up at the door.  Lum was smiling there in her

usual tiger-striped fur bikini.  My insistence that she cover up in

public had been taken as approval for her to wear what was technically

just her underwear around the temple.  It could be worse, she might have

chosen something frilly and translucent, after all she seemed to be

totally immune to chill.  



"OK, give me a moment to get ready."



Breakfast was again almost totally unendurable.  The rice was very spicy

and the soup seemed to be etching into the bowl.



Megumi was already working on seconds.  "You've outdone yourself Lum."



I wish she'd clue me in to the secret before Lum's cooking killed me.



At least it was the start of a new semester and I could eat lunch on

campus without hurting Lum's feelings.



After a shower and a shave I returned to the living room as I pulled on

my jacket, "Can I give you a lift sis?"



"No thanks, my first class isn't until this afternoon.  I'll take the

train later."



"I'm ready Darling cha!"  Lum stood in blue jeans, knit shirt and jacket,

holding a case that looked suspiciously like a bookbag and a large

lunchbox.



"Uh, do you want a lift?"



"If it's not too much bother Darling, cha?"



"No, its OK.  It'll be good to have company for the trip."



We got stalled in traffic.  The commute was really the worst part of

living so far out.  Perhaps I'd best just take the train myself from now

on.



"Darling, Megumi says that on Earth you register your silverwear

pattern.  Is that where you display your coat of arms, cha?"



"Uh, not really.  Say Lum, is there someplace you'd like to get dropped

off?"



"No Darling, just take me where you're going."



"Then you're going to someplace near campus?"



"Yes Darling."



When I parked the motorcycle Lum got out and followed me into the class

and took the seat right next to me.



"Uh Lum?"



"Yes Darling, cha?"



"This is a classroom."



"Yes, I know that."



"Only students are allowed here."



"I am a student Darling cha!"  Lum pulled a schedule and student ID out

of her bag.  She had exactly the same classes as I did and her student

ID listed her nationality as Indian and her age as 20.



"Lum, you're really twenty?"



"Yes, our star passed through the constellation of the tiger-striped

unicorn for the twentieth time a few Earth months ago, cha."



"How long is one of your years in Earth days?"



"Um, about 298 and a half."



Forget the hair, she could have died that green and the pointed ears

might be cosmetic surgery, the blue eyes were a little large, but not

impossible and the fangs weren't too extremely long, but the horns were

undeniably real.  Lum was obviously alien, not foreign.  How did she get

away with it?



In the cafeteria, Lum pulled out her lunchbox.  "Oh Darling, you don't

need to order anything.  See, I brought lunch!"



"Say Lum, did you make that yourself?"



"Yes Otaki, would you like some cha?"



I don't know how the motorclub got wind of Lum's presence on campus, but

I was glad.  While they descended like a flock of hungry pigeons on

Lum's lunch, I was able to grab a bowl of ramen from the cafeteria.  It

wasn't up to their usual low standards, a little bland, but anything was

better than that burning feeling Lum's cooking caused.



"Oh Darling, I'm so sorry, I've got nothing left for you.  I'll have

to bring much more tomorrow cha!"



"Not unless they agree to chip in for the food expenses."



That evening I was sitting in my room.



"Darling, what are you doing, cha?"



"Just studying."



"Oh good!"  Lum opened my door and walked in with her schoolbooks, she

had stripped down to just the bikini again.  "Darling, can you help me

with a few things, cha?"



"Uh sure, no problem."



"What's an Internal Combustion Engine, cha?"



"Uh, it's a system where hydrocarbons are mixed in with air and then

exploded in a chamber to produce mechanical force.  My motorcycle has a

two-cylinder motor."



"I was riding in something that was exploding?"



"The explosions are safely confined inside the cylinders."



"The carbon atoms combine with the oxygen in the air to form carbon

dioxide and the hydrogen atoms combine with oxygen to form water, cha?"



"That's right."



"Where do the combustion products go?"



"We dump them out into the atmosphere through the exhaust."  I opened

one of my books and pointed out the process on a diagram of a motorcycle

engine.



"But Darling, if you mix the hydrocarbons with unfiltered air, wouldn't

these explosions release nitrous oxides and poisonous incomplete

combustion byproducts like carbon monoxide, in addition to the carbon

dioxide?  Where are these filtered out, cha?"  Lum looked at me with her

big blue eyes crossed in confusion.



"Well on big engines, like cars.  We use catalytic processes to crack

the byproducts, but on motorcycles we just dump them into the air."



"No wonder your planet smells funny Darling."  Lum wrinkled her nose in

a totally cute way.



I leaned towards her, my face centimeters from hers.  "Lum..."



"Yes Darling cha?"



"Is there anything else you wanted to know?"  I pulled back hastily.

What had I been thinking?



Tuesday evening after dinner, Megumi pulled out some newspapers.



"What are you up to sis?"



"I'm looking for a place to stay."



"Oh no Megumi, you can stay here!  We have plenty of space, right

Darling cha?"



"Thanks Lum, but I need to give you two some time alone.  I feel like

I'm in the way here."



"And what is that supposed to mean sis?"



"Oh you know Keiichi."  Megumi leaned close to me and whispered, "Lum

says you haven't slept with her since I moved in."



"No, no, it's nothing like that!"



"Like what Darling cha?"



"Uh, nothing Lum, nothing."



"And anyway, it's hard to get involved in anything on campus when I'm

living this far out.  What do you think Lum, is this a good place?"



Lum hovered to get a good look at the ad.  "It says it's an

efficiency.  Does that mean that the heating bill is small cha?"



Megumi seemed not to notice that Lum was violating the laws of physics.

I hoped it was just that she was so engrossed in the ad.



Thursday after class I looked for my sister.  "Lum, could you go home

with Megumi on the train today?"



"Why Darling cha?  Aren't you going home after the motorclub meeting?"



"Yes, so I wouldn't want you to wait around---  How do you know about

the motorclub meeting?"



"I'm a member Darling!  Tamiya asked me to join."



Friday, Lum and I returned to the temple before Megumi, because she was

out looking at apartments.



"Darling, it's my fault isn't it?"



"What?"



"Your sister is moving out because of me, cha?"



"No she likes you.  She's just a private person.  What's the sense of

her moving away from home to go to college, if she has to stay with her

brother?"



"Well, I hope she comes to visit often.  She's my favorite Earth person,

next to you Darling."  Lum reached up to hug me.



"And you're my favorite alien, Lum."



Lum's pointed ears pricked up and she pulled away and seemed to be

following some unknown sense.  She walked about for a bit then

confronted an ordinary part of the wall.



"You are so damn fortunate that SHE didn't find this!"  Lum screamed at

the wall,  "She's not the kind and forgiving person I am!  If she

catches you at this I will have nothing but pity for what happens to

your planet!"  A corona washed over Lum as she lifted a few centimeters

from the floor.  She steadied her right hand with her left and pointed

one finger at the wall.  "DIVINE RETRIBUTION!"  A lightning bolt shot

from Lum's finger to the wall, then she settled back to the ground.



"What was that Lum?"



"Oh, nothing important Darling", Lum stomped off to her room.



I probed at the spot Lum had blasted and uncovered a melted electronic

device.  I resolved to patch that spot when I did some plaster work the

next weekend.



On our way back from school on Monday, a block from the temple, Lum

grabbed at my arm, "Stop here Darling, OK?"



She walked over to where two men in black business suits and sunglasses

sat in a Corolla, "Hi, I'm Lum, can I help you cha?  Please don't start

your engine right now, I'd hate to have to short it out."



"How many C's does your craft pull?"



"I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to tell you that."



"Can you prove that you exceed it?"



"Hmmm, fair enough, let me think...  OK, you know how supernovas are

always going off in distant galaxies cha?  Give me a few days to consult

my navigation records and make some predictions, in terms of Earth

coordinates.  Can I drop the results off at your offices cha?"



"No miss, we'll be right here."



"That's what I'm unhappy about", Lum jumped back in the sidecar.



"What was that about Lum?"



"Oh, it's just the census bureau Darling."



On Wednesday, Megumi moved out.  We returned to the temple after

dropping off the last load.  At last I'd be alone with Lum.  What was I

thinking?  How could I betray her trust so?



"Darling, I hope you won't be unhappy."



"How could I ever be unhappy with you Lum?"



"Well, the motor club is having a party on Saturday."



"That sounds OK, where is it?"



"Here Darling."



"Are you sure it's OK to have parties here?"



"Yes, the owner is a friend of mine and with all of the work you've been

doing on the place I'm sure she'll be pleased."



"Uh, you haven't asked her?"



"No Darling, she said I was free to drop by anytime, cha."



Lum prepared the refreshments Saturday morning and I got by with just

sampling just a few dishes for Lum.



Otaki brought his Karaoke set.



"What's that for Otaki?"



"Well lum, it plays music and then you..."



"Darling, Otaki's brought a music box, let's dance."



"Uh Lum, I'm not very good at dancing."



"Oh Darling, it's easy, I'll show you cha?"



Lum dragged me out in front of the entire club.  I hoped that they were

already so drunk that they wouldn't remember it.



Otaki started up his tape and did a parody of the famous song.



   "Do you believe in Lum?

    Do you believe she's true?

    Do you believe in Lum?

    Cause, she's making me believe it too."



Lum lead me through me through some rather bizarre steps but seemed to be

concentrating on something.



"What is it?"  I whispered to her.



"Oh Darling, you said I wasn't to fly in front of others, cha?  It's

just that I'm not sure I'm getting the steps right."



	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb

    The next chapter is "Midsummer Night's Dream".

    The newest member of the cast has something in common with Keiichi.