Subject: Re: [FFML][Ranma][DARK] Choices: The Party (Complete Draft)
From: jpalmer@best.com (Joseph Palmer)
Date: 6/17/1997, 5:57 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

On Mon, 16 Jun 1997, Martin wrote:

I must assume that
Mike had already taken this into consideration and based his plans for
several chapters on what would happen in the 1st chapter. Pressuring him to
change the last part would really disrupt his plans and divert dramatically
from what he originally intended to write in the future chapters. Guys, you
must take the whole and wider view on why he needed to have Ranma raped -
it might just be the deciding factor in determining whether his story
really worked as a whole.


Huh? I must have missed it. (Puts on reading glasses and looks at last
few pages.) Yup. It's there. Sigh.

C&C: First 98% of story.

I really liked reading the interplay between the minor players and Ranma,
I can't remember this being taken up in a fic before, and I think it was
terifficaly well done here. (10 for 10) I noticed no particular writing
errors, and overall I thought it flowed really well.
I was impressed by the discussions that Ranma was having with his friends,
Ranma 1/2 almost seems to dare the reader (or viewer) to explore the
feelings of identity, and "The Party" does a great job of exploring that.
The Ranma-Akane fight scene was well scripted, and believable, I was looking
forward to see how that was going to turn out. [More on that later...]
This part of the story turned up an incredible richness of material to
work with. Well done.

[ S P O I L E R S ]

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C&C: Last 2% of story.

I must admit that I was pretty tired when I first read this, so I was
skimming the drunken bedspin paragraphs at the end, waiting for Akane
to show up.
I'm guessing that others might have done the same since there seems to be
some confusion as to what really happened. I, at least, missed the
important clues. You may want to remove some of the distractions leading up
to the
"event".

First, I think you should label this fic "Dark" based on the last few
paragraphs. After all, here we have a rape of the title character of an
otherwise upbeat series. Nerima is hardly a post-apocaliptic place where
that sort of thing happens. (In fact, if you so much as steal a bicyle
in Nerima and are caught, -As most criminals are in Japan- it goes on your
record, and you cannot get a good job with a good company, perhaps ever.
Your life is ruined. Now, I wonder what happens to rapists?)

Second, If what I read is really the way this is heading...

....I'm afraid I'll have to be getting off here.

I really liked the first 98% of this. A lot. You were getting into some
really good stuff with Ranma and his sexual identity, I really liked
the minor characters, but I just don't like to read Ranma 1/2 fanfics
where characters are killed or raped, or kill or rape.

Maybe it's just me but I like to keep Nerima as a place apart from
the real world.

sore, jya.


J.

________________________________________________________________________
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