Greetings.
Well, teh story was well done, and enjoyable.
I cant comment at the grammar, as my one is terrible,
but i try to made comments on story.
Other that that, i may say, i am looking forward
to see the next parts.
James Allen wrote:
"Actually," Nabiki continued, "everyone here has put together the money,
it won't cost you a single yen.
The cloning... It seemed as the 'Deux et Machina'.
I understand its necessarity, but a smaller hint of how the
Nabiki get the access to it will be a good thing.
Also the money question. Even if Nabiki get her
funds, Shampoo dig out family gold and Kodachi get her family
bank account, i dont see any oher of the two fiances putting
a big money into the project.
"We have discussed that matter. You will all be identical in form and
memory, none will be able to remember any fact to enable you to truthfully
determine that you are, or are not, a clone."
The exact memory seems the more questioning that the
exact body... It may get some changes unintended or even intended.
Ranma paced as he thought about the 'solution' that had been handed to
him. Lessee... I get to be friends with Ukyou, and Akane can't
complain... I suppose I'll end up going to China with Shampoo, but at
least she won't be bothering me here anymore. I'll be married to
Kodachi... Umm... There will be 4 of me that she won't bother anymore!
.....
Akane... Well... I guess with the other fiancees satisfied we won't
fight about that anymore. I'll have to eat... But 4 of me won't! One
corner of Ranma's mouth quirked up as he thought, and 3 of me will even
enjoy it.
I can see a hole into this thinking, hole he will found out later
and no doubts will regret wery much. Thought that there are four who
will
not suffer from Kodachi tricks or Akane cooking, will be a very little
easing for teh one who will. uRanma will be more that friends with
Ukyou,
but aRanma will need go around "Ukyou Okonomiyaki" by three city blocks.
Each of them will know about the
chance the others have get, and i dont doubt, soon there will be
thoughts for
nRanma and kRanma "Why we dont get choosed by Ukyou/Akane or at least
Shampoo!", while sRanma will dream about Nabiki or Ukyou, uRanma want to
get
the exciting life as sRanma, and aRanma will envy the rest four,
as he will get beatings for four.
Ukyou's expression was pensive. There was something wrong with this, but
she couldn't quite think of a reason to try and stop it.
Seems, Ukyou was the wisest of the all. No one thinked about the
future, only that they get Ranma, or cheap work-force.
Ranma went pale and the mirror fell to the floor, Ranma sitting next to
him reached over and pulled aside the gauze.
"YES!! It's the Black Rose!" Ranma slapped his stunned double on the
shoulder. "I feel for ya man, but I can't say I would wanna be in your-"
First sign of what will happen. The kRanma no doubts is thinking,
that all this clone business wasnt so good idea after all.
"Go home, wait in my room. When I get there, I'll tell you about your
sleeping arrangements and where you will be working tomorrow." The matter
was apparently settled as Nabiki didn't wait for acknowledgement, merely
gazed expectantly at the next Ranma.
"Good luck," said Ranma as he handed the mirror to the next in line and
left.
I have a little knowledge of Ranma, but i doubt, he hill obey
such a abrupt order without any word. All the times Ranma was portrayed
as the individual, who is denying the rule over him, be it love,
strenght
or magic. Ha had fight against ruling him all his life. such a change...
Except there was some changes made into clones by the process...
"...as random as money can buy."
Akane watched carefully. The small outline of a spatula indicated that it
was Ukyou's Ranma that breathed a sigh of relief. And her Ranma looked,
well, disappointed.
*ROTFL*. It was coming!
"BAKA! What does that look on your face mean? You wanted to go with her
all along didn't you!" Akane shrieked at point blank range.
And the standart response, of course, clone or not.
"Wipe that smile off your face! If it weren't for this clone thing, YOU
would still be mine! But I don't care anymore, you can go off with your
bimbo and-"
Another problem. I dont see Nabiki, Shampoo or Kodachi worrying
about the clone/original thing, but Akane still is feeling, she is
sharing Ranma with four others. Not a warm thought, especially
as she cant do anything about it. Same may be said about Ukyou,
but she will not pour that over poor Ranma's head at least.
Parts 2 (and beyond) if written, will explore the different lives of the
Ranmas. Right off I can say that nRanma will be the best prospect for a
stable life, work may be boring, but it is stable.
I doubt, it be boring and stable, knowing Nabiki. She will get
into more and more risky money shemes, with nRanma pulling potatos
from fire for her. Work of bodyguard may be good, but not the work
of money-collector.
uRanma should have a decent time of it
Agreed.
although I am not sure yet exactly what will happen to sRanma.
Probably what Shampoo always wished - she will get him
back to China. Not without objectings, and there will be a
fight with Mouse no doubts, when he founds out.
Everybody feels sorry for kRanma.
Agreed, thought there may be a changes either to worse
or to better.
And we all know that aRanma will only lose a small percentage of his
frequent-flyer-miles. ;)
And that is the most sure of all.
At the end some more thoughts. How hush-hush these five
pulled it out? I dont see Ranmas mother agreeing easily to it.
There was Kuno, Ruoga, Mouse, who want to say their word into it.
Besides, nRanma and aRanma will live into same house, if only
Nabiki dont move out. A high shirt collar, to hide tattoo, and
who will tell them apart?
Wonder, how Ruoga will feel, when he run into TWO Ranmas?
What will Kuno shout?
Besides, one last, but wery important question -
will the curse get cloned too? Or only one of them is having it now?
Aivars
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