Subject: [Fanfic][Tenchi] Something Old, Something New 2/4
From: roselius@alaska.net (Warr)
Date: 5/24/1997, 7:27 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

         A white portal with tiny golden burst of light dancing in it opens
up in front of  Geo.  A tall black creature like a featureless human body
steps forth.  Its skin is jet black and shiny.  Its torso looks like a
skeleton with black metal stretched over it.  The thing seems to be a robot
but looks very organic in nature, with smooth lines and curves.  Its
featureless face flashes  away as the thing spins around and then leaps
backwards.  Geo leaps into the air as well.  Pan back and in slow motion as
the black robots back splits open revealing its inside to be hollow, like
armor.  Geo lands with in perfectly and the black metal flows like liquid
to encase him inside.

          Geo/Temujin land with a solid thump.  The "camera" pans around
the two giving the viewer a good look.  Temujin looks like a cross between
a human and an alien.  And it looks BAD!

          Cut to bathhouse door.  Geo burst out into the bath house.

          The mood instantly goes from "I'M GONNA KICK SOME ASS!"  to "OH
MY GOD!" as the screen does a double take of naked, kicking Washu.  The
screen goes into slow motion and crawls slowly up Washu's body.  Her hair
whipping about in the force field.  Her huge eyes looking down pleadingly
for help.  The screen pans down to her shoulder (tiny bit of suds there)
and almost makes it to...

          Geo falls backwards with a cry and a metallic thud.

          Cut to Temujin covering its "eyes" with it's huge clawed hands.
We can hear Geoyoshi's thoughts.

Geo's Thoughts:

          I can't go out there!  I'll SEE her!  I don't think I can take
that...come on Geo.  Think!  You don't have much time!

          The giant, black, bug-like robot then gives a very human snap of
it's fingers.

Geoyoshi: Ahha!  I've got it!

          Screen cut's to the same scene as before.  Washu kicking wildly
in the tree hanging up side down.  Only now Washu's body is covered with
pixelization like one sees on TV.  (Could this be a reference to Japanese
          porno?) ;)

Geoyoshi: Alright asshole!  You picked the WRONG scientist to kidnap!  Kiaaaa!

          Geo/Temujin leap into the air.  Washu's grip releases on the
branch and she
          screams.  Semi-still picture of Geo catching Washu in mid air and
them falling into the bath.  Washu's back is to Geo and he has his arm
around her chest...  Actually he has one huge clawed hand right ON her
chest!  Washu looks down, looks up at the black featureless face and
screams again!  Temujin/ Geo stagger backwards in the pool.

Geoyoshi: I'm sorry Dr. Washu!  I'm sorry!

          The huge beetle looking creature is shaking.

Washu:    Geo?  Is that you?

          Noticing her nakedness Washu grabs up a towel and raps it about
herself.
          Geo/Temujin turn to face away from Washu.  Over Washu's shoulder we
          see the entire cast show up.  Washu is holding her towel in such
a way that her rear is bare.  We see Tenchi look away suddenly while his
father just looks on and smiles...the perv!

Geoyoshi: I...excuse me Dr. Washu.

          Geo /Temujin leaps over the wall of the bath.  From the other
side you hear Geo shout.

Geoyoshi: Size magnified time three!

          Washu still hasn't seen everyone but notices that the beam is
coming back!  It's sucking up water as it moves toward her!  Washu turns to
run into the house and sees everyone there.  She blushes when everyone
gasps.  But they aren't gasping at her.

          Cut to a huge Temujin standing as tall as the tree in the bath.
It's featureless face turned up toward the ship.  With a mighty leap it
strikes the ship on the side.  It's clawed hands scrape across the ships
surface and cause the ship to list to one side.  The ship is still about 10
times larger so it only lists a little.

          Geo scrambles like a monkey over to one of the arms of the
octopus ship facing  away from the bath.  Standing above the arm he shouts.

Geoyoshi: Enhance inertia times 5!

          He then throws himself onto the arm "cloths-lining" it with his
elbow.  The
          ship actually rocks hard  and is now about 45 degrees off kilter.  The
          ship accelerates in the direction of Geo's stunt depending on how
high the angle is.  In other words it moves slowly and then faster and
faster as the ship reaches it's apex.  Washu turns to face the ship, her
towel fixed now and watches in awe with everyone else as Geo/Temujin tear a
huge panel off of the ship and leap inside.  The ship begins to move upward
when the hole in the side belches fire and smoke in a small explosion.  The
ship begins to "stagger" through the air and make car-knocking-like noises.
The ship gives a violent cough and suddenly plummets to the ground.  Just
before it smashes into the earth and explodes a black blur smashes through
one of the "eyes" of the ship.  Close-up of Temujin with direction vectors
on him to show how fast he's going.  With a small boom Temujin/Geo land
just outside of the bath.  Again we get the clear impression (I would
hope!) that Geoyoshi is one bad SOB!  In Temujin's hand can be seen the
head and feet of old Octopus!
 Head himself.  He seems to be          having some trouble breathing as
he's all blue and gasping for air.  Temujin begins to shrink and eventually
disappears behind the wall.  Geo/Temujin leap over the wall holding Dr.
Clay  by the nape of the neck.  They land on the floor with a thump.
Though you can't see his face, from his gestures and voice it is clear that
Geo is really PISSED OFF!  He isn't even bowing and simpering to Washu he's
so angry!

Geoyoshi: Do you know this person Dr. Washu? <very angry voice>

Washu:    Um...yea...He and I go way back.  He blames me for getting him
kicked out
          of my old Academy.

          Geo twists Dr. Clay  around so he can look at his face.  All Clay
get's
          is a good look at the somewhat disturbing face of Temujin.

Geoyoshi: Oh, so you're Dr. Clay.  I've heard of you.  You make me sick!

Doc Oc:   <trying to face Washu> Is this another one of your inventions Washu?
          What did you name it?  Ryoko mac II?

          Ryoko looks like she's ready to eat nails and piss bullets.

Washu:    As a matter of fact no.  This is my assistant Geoyoshi. <cross arms>
          And as you can see he doesn't like it when people try to abduct
his professors.

Doc Oc:   Professors? <cruel laugh> You couldn't teach an egg to hatch you
stupid
          bitch.

          Clay get's most of the way through bitch before Geo smashes him
into the bath wall!  Clay slides down leaving behind a crater in the wood.
He splashes into the pool, floating face down.

          Pan to a shot of Temujin's shoulder and the rest of the crew.
They all have
          looks of wonder/surprise on their face as they go "Ohhhhh".  Geo turns
          slowly his (Temujin's) fingers clenching and unclenching.

Geoyoshi  I'm sorry for the intrusion Dr. Washu.  We'll let you get back to
your bath.  What should I do with this...thing...in the mean time?

          Everyone (except Geo and Washu) looks around embarrassed and
start wandering out of the bath house.

Washu:    Er...take him into the lab and strap him to the examination table.

          Washu contemplates Dr. Clay's body floating in the pool...her
face breaks out into a huge grin.  Geo bows (more than polite) sloshes into
the bath and
          drags Dr. Clay out.  As he get's to the door...

Washu:    Oh.  And Geo?

          Geo freezes in place, shoulders tense.  He drops Octopus Head like
          a sack of potatoes, his face bouncing off the floor.

Washu:    Thank you.

          Geo relaxes and nods, still facing away from Washu.

Geoyoshi: I'm only too happy to be of service Dr. Washu.  Please, enjoy
your bath.
          <addressing Temujin> Thank you Temujin, that will be all.

Temujin:  Yes sir.

          Temujin's black metallic back splits open and runs over Geo's
body allowing Geo to step back out of Temujin.  Temujin then opens up a
small white portal and steps through it.  Geo walks forward after the
portal closes, still dragging the unfortunate doctor.

          Cut back to Washu alone in the bath house.  She stands there
looking toward the door way, then her knees collapse (feet spread away from
her body).

          Cut to scene of Washu working at her terminal.  She has a pencil
binding
          her hair into a huge pony tail, her glasses perched on her nose.
As she works we hear a very strange noise.

          *slow scrape* <pause> *twang* *muffled grunt* *slow scrape*
<pause> *twang* *muffled grunt*

          This goes on for about five or six seconds.  All the time we
can't see the source of the noise.  We just see Washu working.  When the
audience is starting to get really curious as to what the heck that noise
is!  Cut to a desktop.

          The desktop has various things on it.  Stapler, pencils in a box,
some papers
          with math and geometry on them, maybe a double helix or two.
Just sort
          of thrown in there is a pile of paper clips.  A hand slowly
reaches out and
          places one finger on a single paper clip.  Sliding the paper clip
across the table slowly *scrape*.  The hand has on a white robe with gold
embroidery (Geo).  Cut to Geo's upper body leaning back in a chair.  His
head and legs sort of out of the picture.  Slowly Geo places the paper clip
in a rubber band stretched between his thumb and forefinger.  The screen
pans up to Geo aiming the paper clip and release *twang*.  Cut to Dr. Clay.
He's strapped in the examination table with the glowing ring on his head
and gagged.  A paper clip strikes him in the left cheek hard *muffled
grunt*.

          Cut back to Washu typing.  She stops and turns to Geo.  You can't
really
          see much of Geo, just his back.  Oddly he isn't as nervous as he
normally
          is around Washu.  He also seems to be pretty tense and still angry.

Washu:    Aren't you finished yet?  My, but you're a mean bastard when
someone get's your dander up.

          *scrape*

Geoyoshi: Though I've never met the gentleman, our guest here has made
trouble for me in the past.  I've had a disliking of him for a very very
long time.

          *twang* *muffled grunt*

Washu:    Oh?  What did he do.

          Geo stiffens and drops his feet to the floor (no longer leaning
back).  He turns slowly with his head down a bit.  He's right back to his
normal self again (around Washu anyway.)

Geoyoshi: I...I'd rather not talk about it.  Dr. Washu?  If it's okay I'd
like to turn in now.

          Washu seems curious but keeps her questions to herself.

Washu:    Very well.  Oh!  Did anyone made arrangements for you?  I think I
have an
          extra futon somewhere... <looking around the lab>

Geoyoshi: <laughing nervously> That's okay, I'd prefer to sleep in my ship.

          Washu looks startled.

Washu:    In your ship?  That tiny thing?

Geoyoshi: <laughing a little more honestly> It's okay Dr. Washu, it's
bigger on the
          inside than it looks. <grin>

          Washu looks contemplative for a second then just nodes her head.

Washu:    Well, good night Geoyoshi.  Sleep well.

Geoyoshi: You too Dr. Washu.

          Washu goes back to typing as Geo walks toward the door (where the door
          will be rather).

          The door appears and he puts his hand on the handle.  Pausing he
looks back over his shoulder.  Washu is bathed in a tiny spot of light
while most of the lab is in darkness.  Cut to close-up of Geo's face.  His
eyes look a little moist and he whispers very quietly.

Geoyoshi: Good night Dr. Washu....

          He seems to want to say something else but with an angry toss of
his head
          he opens the door and steps out.

          Cut back to Washu.  She isn't typing anymore and is looking sort
of melancholy.  Sighing she touches a button and the terminal vanishes.
Yawning and stretching she walks away from her desk.  The circle of light
she was in follows her as she heads off deeper into the lab.  Cut to Dr.
Clay  in complete darkness (except for the light given off by the circlet
on his head).  He looks terrified.

          Cut to wonderful autumn morning.  We see a wind chime (bell with
a ribbon
          hanging from the clacker) blowing gently.  Birds are singing and
the sun is rising in the east giving everything a warm golden glow.

          Cut to Washu asleep in the lab.  She rolls around kicking her
covers off and looks to be having a disturbing dream.  Close-up of her
face.  Her eyes open slowly, she blinks a few times.  Siting up she rubs
her eyes and looks around.  We can see Octopus Head strapped onto the table
in the distance, his head down, asleep.  Washu stretches and slides out of
bed.  She's wearing a pair of cotton pajamas with little cartoon pictures
of Ranma, Akane, P-Chan, etc.  (Hehehe) Like the kind an artist might do at
the
          end of an anime, less realistic than normal.

          Walking through the lab we see various tanks with creatures
inside.  Cut to
          Washu walking toward us with Clay  in the background.  Washu
walks off the screen on the right.  We hear a *quick scrape* *twang*.
Octopus Head  jumps and grunts looking up blearily.  Cut to Washu walking
casually out of the lab.  Close-up of Clay, his eyes are on fire with rage.
He's got paper clips hanging from his cloths and a huge pile of them on
the floor at his feet.

          Outside.  Washu is standing in the door looking at the scene
around her, it's very beautiful.  With a pair of slippers on she heads
toward Geo's ship.  The ship is closed and looks exotic in the early
morning sun.  Washu walks up to it and looks it over.  She seems to like
what she sees.  Climbing the ladder like indentations in its side she tries
to open the top with her fingers.  She tries for a second and then gives
up.  Frowning she scratches her head.

Temujin:  Can I be of service Dr. Washu?

          Washu jumps off the ship and looks around.  Relaxing she looks at
the ship.

Washu:    Yea, is Geoyoshi in there?

Temujin:  Yes he is.  Would you like to come in Dr. Washu?

Washu:    Come in?  What?  Climb in the cockpit with him?!?

Temujin:  Geo is not in the cockpit, he is in the extra-dimensional space
with in the ship.

          Washu looks interested.

Washu:    Alright, why not?

Temujin:  I can think of no reason why you shouldn't enter Dr. Washu.

Washu:    <laugh> Oh, okay, then let me in.

          The cockpit window lifts up about 3" and then slides back
revealing an empty cockpit.

          Washu climbs up the steps and into the chair.  The inside looks
fairly simple.  A flight stick, a few buttons on the arm of the chair and
little else.  Washu looks around.  Her eyes fly open as the chair suddenly
slides backwards.  The cockpit window begins to close as she finds herself
sliding backwards into the ship.  Her backwards trip stops with her popping
out into what looks like open sky!  Washu grabs the arms of the chair as it
suddenly swings around and tips forward slightly.  Still shaken up she
lands on the ground softly.  The chair arm jerks out of her hand as it
returns to the front of the ship.  The hole that it entered closes into
what looks like sky.  Washu walks toward the chair's exit place and touches
solid matter that looks like an early morning sky.  Turning around she
takes in a fantastically beautiful landscape.  Center most is a 30 feet
tall water fall that cascades down into a large pool.  Golden carp  can be
seen in it's depths.  A huge oak!
 tree rests not far from the
          pool.  There seems to be a body covered with blankets there.

          To the right of the cliff (which wraps around to the right and
left) is a small corps of trees.  They're sparse and have lush green grass
growing under them, a few dainty wild flowers blow in the breeze.
Observant viewers will see a birds nest and a squirrel.  There are no
paths, just green grass.  The artificial sky is lightly dotted with clouds.
Washu seems clearly to be awed by the whole spectacle.  With a slight moan
Geoyoshi turns over in his sleep.  Washu seems a little embarrassed and
turns back to the portal, it's gone of course.  Frowning she walks toward
the pool.

          Cut to image of Washu in the pool.  Her reflection over that of a
large carp.  The carp rises to the surface and mouths at her.  A few others
show up and do the same, they seem to be perfectly ordinary carp, not prize
specimens really.  Kneeling down Washu puts her hand in the water and
swishes it around a bit.  A carp comes up and starts mouthing her hand, as
if tying to eat out of it!  Washu giggles slightly and runs a finger over
the carps head.  The carp darts into the water with a splash.

          Cut to Washu turning away as water sprays her, one eye closed but
with a smile on her face.  Geo, in the background, groans again and rolls
over.  Washu looks over her shoulder at him and then back at the pool.
After a few seconds of staring at her reflection she stands up with her
hands on her knees.  Walking calmly toward the trees (still wearing her
silly pajamas by the way).

          Washu walks through the canopy of trees.  Golden light and dust
motes dance around her.  A squirrel runs down a tree and stares at her.
Freezing in place Washu watches the squirrel.  The little squirrel darts
it's head about rapidly, examining her.  Then it races around the tree and
disappears up the back side.  Washu smiles and walks deeper into the trees.
The trees wrap
          around into the cliff.  Faintly you hear a splash.  Washu hears
this, looks around and starts heading back.

          Cut to Washu stepping around the side of a tree.  Her eyes go
wide as she sees Geoyoshi standing naked under the water fall.  His body
waist deep in water as he let's water run down his back.  He's well built
(I'll leave the details up to you ladies) and handsome.  Washu just sort of
stand there for a second, Geo hasn't noticed her.  Geo's black hair is
covering his face as the water runs over his head.  Shaking his head a
little he suddenly dives into the pool.

          Geo's moving spurs Washu to dart behind the tree.  Her eyes are
open wide and her face is very red.  We can see Geo swimming in the
background as Washu tries to figure out what to do.  Geo begins to climb
out of the pool.  He's naked but far away.  Temujin materializes holding a
big fluffy towel over its arm.  We can make out Geo thanking it and taking
the towel.  Cut back to Washu's face.  She's got a grimace of terror on her
face.

          Some mumbled conversation goes on between Temujin and Geo.  Geo
scratches his head and seems puzzled at what Temujin is saying.  Temujin
then disappears and reappears standing next to Washu.  Washu jumps and lets
out a startled shout as Temujin then rudely PUSHES her out from behind the
tree into full view of Geo.

          Tense music plays as Geo stands there holding a towel in his
hand, it just           happens to be covering his *ahem* (thank God) as he
stand there in complete shock.  Washu's face looks like a cooked lobster as
she too just stands there stunned.  Silence for maybe a full three seconds
when both Geo and Washu scream like demons!  Geo, in his haste to cover
himself
          by running toward his bed trips on the towel and falls backwards
into the pool.  Washu trips and falls down as she runs behind the tree.
She runs head first into Temujin's abdomen.  With her hand on her head
Washu looks up at the big beetle-like android.

Washu:    WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!!!!

          Washu screams, her face a rictus of fury!

          Temujin stands, it's face impassive (as if it had a choice).  It
then disappears.

          Washu stand behind the tree breathing heavily, leaning on the
tree.  Close- up of Washu's face.  She seems emotionally drawn, angry and
maybe a little scared.

Geoyoshi: Dddddr. Washu?  I...uh....You can come out now.

          Washu walks slowly out from behind the tree.  Geo is very
embarrassed and can be seen fidgeting even so far away.  He has on his
white robe with the gold embroidery.    Washu relaxes at his boy-like charm
and walks over confidently toward him.  Still wearing pajamas with pink
cats, black piglets and glasses wearing ducks. ;)

Washu:    I'm sorry to disturb you Geo.  I was just coming to tell
you..um...That I need you to help me with some work...this morning...

          It seems clear both parties are trying to forget the previous
events ever happened.

Geoyoshi: Oh, alright Dr. Washu.  I...uh...Shall I make you breakfast then?

          Washu seems a little embarrassed again.

Washu:    Um, that would be fine.  Thank you Geo.

Geoyoshi: Oh, not at all Dr. Washu! <grin>

          Cut to Washu's lab.  We see a small monkey like creature chewing
on a stick in it's glass cage.  The monkey thing's crest of hair suddenly
raises up and it scampers away in terror dropping its stick as it huddles
on the far side of the cage.  The monkey things large liquid eyes track
something until the black robe of Dr. Clay suddenly obstructs our view.  As
the figure walks past a single unbent paper clip falls from his nerveless
fingers.  Cut to a upper angle view of Dr. Clay as he steps up to Washu's
terminal and takes a seat on the floating cushion.   Cut to Clays face.
His eyes are hard and his face unmoving.  He seems remarkably calm but
there's a hint of terrible rage.  His fingers poke slowly at the terminal
and then faster and faster as he explores the system.  Pan back to his
eyes, they squint angrily at the screen.  Cut to screen.  The screen is
demanding a password.  Clay rocks back on the cushion for and thinks.
After a second he types

                    Tenchi

          The machine takes the password and responds with a warning that
two more failed passwords will result in shut down.  Clay screws his face
into a rictus of concentration and then types something rapidly.

                    Chan

          The terminal gives a final warning.  Clay puts his hands on his
face and thinks hard for a long time.  Suddenly his head flashes up and we
cut to his one good eye open wide in a sense of  "Eureka!"   Clay types.

                    Chicari

          The screen pauses dramatically and clears to a new screen of
scrolling data and what not.  Clay types for a few seconds and begins to
laugh in evil glee.


          Cut to Tenchi in bed.  His back is to us and he's sleeping on his
side.  Groaning he rolls over revealing what looks to be someone else in
bed with him!  Cut to Tenchi's face as he slowly begins to wake up.
Suddenly we hear a feminine groan from the body.  Tenchi freezes as an arm
suddenly drapes itself over him.  Rolling over slowly he comes face to face
with Ryoko!

Ryoko:    Morning sweety.

          Ryoko gives Tenchi a more than sisterly kiss if you know what I mean.
          Tenchi screams and leaps out of the bed dragging half of the
covers with him, revealing a very naked Ryoko.  Ryoko just smiles sweetly
at Tenchi.

Tenchi:   WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED!

          Ryoko looks hurt.

Ryoko:    You mean you don't remember?  Was it that bad?

          Ryoko looks like she's going to cry, actually she looks like
she's going to pretend to cry. ;)

Tenchi:   WHAT!?!

Ryoko:    Oh Tenchi!  I'm sorry if I didn't satisfy you!  Come back to bed
and give me another chance! <Evil grin as she pats the bed>

          Tenchi, blushing, turns away from Ryoko.  We cut to Tenchi.

Tenchi:   Put some cloths on Ryoko!  And get out of my room before someone
SEES you!

Ryoko:    Why?  I'm sure they heard us last night...ALL last night.

          Tenchi looks mortified.

Tenchi:   Uh...Ryoko...We...uh...we didn't really...uh, that is...

          Suddenly Ryoko's head appears next to Tenchi's.  She wraps one
arm over his shoulder and the other across his abdomen.  Tenchi freezes and
his eyes get round.

Ryoko:    Do what?  The horizontal tango?  Get busy?  Do the nasty? Bury
the bone.  Play hide the sausage?  Bump Uglies?  The wild thing?  Ride the
baloney pony?

          After each accusation Tenchi's eyes get bigger and bigger until
they've reached astronomical proportions.  Finally he can't take it
anymore.

Tenchi:   Ahhhhhh! <Throw Ryoko's arm off> GET AWAY FROM ME!

          Ryoko looks honestly stunned and upset.

Ryoko:    Wha....

Tenchi:   LEAVE ME ALONE YOU MONSTER!

          Ryoko's face crumbles as she takes a few hesitant steps away from
Tenchi.  Her eyes fill with honest tears as she suddenly turns and flies
through the wall of the room sobbing uncontrollably, her hands over her
face.  Tenchi's own face goes from anger to shock and then dismay.  He
raises his hand feebly toward where Ryoko escaped.

Tenchi:   Ryoko!  Wait!  I...

          Tenchi's door slides open to reveal Ayeka in her night gown.  She
blushes a little seeing
          Tenchi standing in his boxers.

Ayeka:    Are you alright Tenchi?  I heard you shout and...

          Tenchi's shoulders slump and he shuffles over to the bed.
Sitting dejected he drags his covers onto his lap and stares at his hands.
Ayeka looks worried/confused.

Ayeka:    It's Ryoko isn't it.  I swear the woman is about as worthless as...

          Tenchi cut's her off.

Tenchi:   Just shut up Ayeka.

          Ayeka reels back as if slapped.  Her eyes moisten and she slides
the door closed with out another word.  Tenchi puts his hands on his face
and sighs a heartfelt sigh.

Tenchi:   Tenchi, you're such an idiot.

          With that he flops down onto his bed, his covers half drug over
him as he stares up at the ceiling.

          Cut to little Sasami bouncing out of her room, her evening gown
decorated with black pigs wearing yellow bandanas, ducks wearing glasses,
pink cats, etc.  (It's a matching set) ;)

          Sasami slides Tenchi's door open.

Sasami:   Good morning Tenchi!  Breakfast is almost ready!  Geo made it!

          Tenchi has the crook of his elbow over his eyes.

Tenchi:   I'm not really hungry right now Sasami.  Thank you.

Sasami:   But it smells really good Tenchi!  Hurry up before it gets cold!

Tenchi:   Please, just leave alone.  Okay?

          Sasami looks a little disappointed and says in a quiet voice.

Sasami:   Okay Tenchi.

          Sasami slides the door closed, as she passes her room we hear
Ayeka crying.  Sasami looks generally upset now, perhaps on the verge of
crying too.

          Cut to Mihoshi with her head on the breakfast table.  A small
puddle of drool is crawling      away from her face...  Washu sees this and
sticks her tongue out in disgust.

Washu:    Ewwww!  Wake up!  Mihoshi!  Mihoshi!!!

          Mihoshi jerks up with a start and looks around dazed.

Mihoshi:  What?  Where am I?  Oh!  Hi Little Washu. <yawn> Is breakfast not
ready yet?

        Washu get's a rag and wipes up the drool.

Washu:    No.  Geoyoshi insisted on making us my favorite dish.  I didn't
think he was really going to do it!  I think he's dirtied most of the
kitchen already.

          Mihoshi sniffs.

Mihoshi:  Oh!  That smells really good!  What is it?

Washu:    You'll see. <secret smile>

          Cut to Dr. Clay working in the lab.  He's seems to be engrossed
reading some data.  After a while he makes a few experimental taps on the
keys.  He grins and begins typing faster.  Suddenly a black holographic
form of Temujin rises out of the screen and takes a swipe at Clay with it's
claws!  Clay jerks back and then smiles to himself.  As he inserts his
hands through the hologram and continues to type.  The hologram sinks back
into nothingness as Clay's fingers dance faster and faster.  A huge evil
grin spreads across his face.   Cut to the screen we see many "files"
scrolling past with names like "Temujin Id", "Temujin Active Data Matrix",
etc.
          You get the impression that Clay has hacked into Temujin's "mind".


          Cut to the dinner table.  All the ladies (except Ryoko) are
sitting around talking excitedly.  Ayeka's eyes look red and puffy but she
seems to be in high spirits too.  They seem to be discussing the smell
coming from the kitchen.  We cut to the stairs where Tenchi is walking
slowly down. He seems sleepy and confused.  He rubs his eyes a little and
walks into the dinning room.

          Tenchi enters just as the kitchen door is kicked open and Geo
comes staggering out with some sort of large plate.  He's leaned back so
it's hard to make out what's on the plate.

          Cut to the table. *SLAM* Down comes the huge plate into view.
The camera does a double take at what appears to be a gigantic fried egg!
The egg is easily 3 foot in diameter and it's yoke seems to be bluish.
There is some sort of red powder sprinkled on the white of the egg.

          The women look to be in awe.  As if the egg where some kind of
golden idol.  Geo wipes his forehead with the apron he's wearing (it has
what looks to be a picture of Urd from Ah! My Goddess! winking and giving
you a victory sign).

          Tenchi points.

Tenchi:   What the hell is that!

Geo:      Breakfast.

Tenchi:   Yea!  But what the hell is it!

Washu:    It's an eburori egg.  A now extinct bird from system number LV-427.

          Tenchi isn't quiet taking all of this in.

Tenchi:   Extinct?  Then where did you get the egg?

Geo:      I made it with a replicator.  It wasn't easy.

          Tenchi scratches his head...the women are drooling on themselves
staring at the colossal egg.

Tenchi:   Oh.  But why didn't you just use normal eggs?  I mean earth eggs?

Geo:      Well, you see the eburori had a rather str...

          Washu cuts him off rudely.

Washu:    Enough talk!  Let's eat!

          Geo jumps and bows unconsciously.

Geo:      Oh!  Right!  Silverware!  I forgot the silverware.

          Geo rushes back into the kitchen.

          Dazed and confused Tenchi takes a seat between Sasami and Mihoshi.

          Geo returns with silverware.  The "ladies" practically mug him for the
          forks and dig in heartily.

          Cut to Tenchi with a look of disgust on his face as we hear
slurping and chewing noises.  Cut to Tenchi's view looking across the table
at Geo.  Geo just sits quietly eating a bowl of rice.  Tenchi picks up a
fork and takes a bite.  His face turns green and his cheeks bulge outward.
Swallowing with great difficulty he lets out a huge...

Tenchi:   Bleeeeeeeaaaaaaa!  This stuff tastes terrible!

          Geo looks up from his bowl.  Then looks embarrassed.

Geo:      Oh!  I'm sorry Tenchi.  I thought Sasami said you weren't hungry.
Eburori eggs aren't really for men.  You see there's a pheromone in the
egg which makes it irresistible to women but tastes awful to men.  Here,
let me get you something you'll like.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Q. In a traditional wedding ceremony, the bride's veil is raised just
before the vows are exchanged. Why?
A. So the groom can see that the girl behind the veil is the girl he
expected. At least, that's how the tradition began. Earlier, brides and
their families had been known to run in ringers from time to time.