A Lesson in Love Chapter XV: Obsessions
By Marisa Price
This story is copyright to Marisa Price, 1997, all rights reserved. Based
on characters created by and copyright to Rumiko Takahashi.
Dear Readers,
First of all, I think I need to make a brief statement concerning my
feelings about Nabiki Tendo. I think she is one of the most manipulative,
conniving, selfish, arrogant, and conceited characters in the Ranma 1/2
Universe. This does not come across so clearly in the anime episodes that
have been released so far by Viz (nor in the manga they have released
in English), and I have not seen any of the later Japanese-only Ranma 1/2
anime episodes from later on, so I don't know how she acts there either.
I HAVE had access, however, to the Japanese manga and the subsequent
translations on the net, and I have read the entire Ranma 1/2 manga series
as Takahashi herself presented it, and (after finishing it) that's how I got the
idea for this whole saga... I digested what I believed to be Takahashi's
"characterization" plan, and then tried to take it to a whole new level,
fleshing out characters as if they were finally changing and growing up,
instead of the constant "on and off" again situation in the manga, the
characters frozen perpetually in their Sophomore year.
Obviously I didn't stick to a lot of the steps that seemed
obvious from the conclusion of the Ranma 1/2 manga; namely my setting
up of Ryouga and Ukyou. However, I feel that I gave reasons enough
from the plot of _A Lesson in Love_ to support their relationship, and
I did not try to depend on sources for their relationship within the manga
(which were, quite frankly, tenuous at best). However, with Nabiki, I feel
that I am doing my best to work with Nabiki's attitudes and cold-hearted
ways as depicted in the manga.
Nabiki does some really rotten things in Ranma 1/2. Here, in
the first of my chapters to be put into HTML so far, is a picture
from one of the mangas of Nabiki dressed as a devil, manipulating
the strings of the people around her as if they were marionettes.
She sets up Ranma time and time again, even though she knows it will
jeopardize the relationship that everyone can see is forming between
him and Akane (even though neither will admit it). She does everything
from "stealing" him from Akane as a fiancee (to the point where it
hurts both Ranma and Akane before she gives in and "lets them" get
back together), to purposely inviting every arch-enemy and potential
wife of Ranma's to his and Akane's wedding (which both Ranma and
Akane seemed ready to accept, having basically admitted their feelings
after the whole China saga) in order to get more wedding gifts/$$ from
the wedding!
Do not fear, Nabiki-lovers. I see redemption for her, and this
chapter and the next are going to be dedicated to figuring out what makes
Nabiki tick. After all, the question is, 'WHY is Nabiki like this?' Somehow
I see all of this linked to the Tendo mother's death (as many other authors
have done). However, I think there IS a heart inside Nabiki, but she needs
to find her own soul first. I hope, once I get there, you see why I went
down this
path.
Thank-you for reading,
Marisa Price
Chapter XV: Obsessions
*Note: This takes place the night of and the day after Chapter XIV: Lost Causes*
Dear Diary,
What a year it's been so far! I still can't believe we've
come such a long way. Sorry it's been awhile since I have
written, but sometimes it's easier to write when you are depressed
then when you are happy; and I have been so happy these past few
weeks! I decided that I should finally fill this book with my joys
instead of my complaints. After all, so many things have been
happening and I have been really busy.
Well, Ranma proposed to me, and we made it official that
we are going to get married... eventually. But I told you that awhile
ago. I still love him, more and more each day it seems.
Ryouga and Ukyou look as if they might have finally got it
together too, to the surprise of just about everyone, but it seems
that he wasn't quite as hopeless as everyone thought. I'm not sure if
they have admitted their feelings to each other yet, but after
that whole mess a while back the two of them settled down into
a life of school and work and training. They spend just about every
minute of the day with each other! Ranma and I both agree that it's
bound to turn into love (sort of like Ranma and I did, I guess). I don't
know what that means for Akari, and I am a bit worried about her. She
is such a nice person. I guess we'll find out more eventually. But, despite
that worry, it's nice to see Ukyou and Ryouga happy for once. Ryouga
doesn't get lost nearly as much now, and Ukyou actually has a smile on
her face whenever Ranma and I come to visit, and she is genuinely trying
to become a true friend to me. To be quite honest, I am glad that Ukyou
and Ryouga look like they are going to end up together. Of all of the
people that Ranma attracted to Nerima since he first came, I like them the
best; I am glad that they were the ones who stayed even after Ranma and I
got together and life seemed to completely change.
The "change" included the loss of Shampoo and Mousse, who
went back to China. I thought I would be glad when she was finally gone,
but somehow it feels empty here without her bright smile and crazy antics.
I just hope that she is happy back in China, and that she will finally give up
on Ranma as a lost cause.
Speaking of lost causes, Kuno finally gave up on Ranma! Why?
Because he fell in love with my sister Nabiki! That shocked me at first,
when Ranma told me tonight, but now I think that she must have been
really jealous when he had made that speech at the beginning of sophomore
year about defeating me in order to date me. I didn't realize it back then, but
she might have had a crush on Kuno. I still don't really understand why she
likes him, but he HAS been a lot better since the two started dating.
I wonder if he is going to ask her to the Senior Dance coming up?
It's been combined with the Junior Dance, and Ranma already asked me to go.
I guess I will have to ask her in the morning! I really want to look
good for Ranma... and to make all those other girls jealous! Hah!
Well, that's all I can really tell you right now, Diary, except to
say again that I am happy with Ranma, and I love him so much. He said
that as soon as school gets out in May, he is going to leave for China
with Ryouga. I don't want them to go, but I know that it means a lot to
him. I guess we'll just cross that bridge when we come to it.
Well, he's back from brushing his teeth and nagging at me to
come to bed. It turns out that the baka is actually a romantic at heart,
he likes to just hold me at night "to make sure that I am safe." Of course
our fathers thought that there HAD to be something else going on, but,
after nights of spying, it looks as if they finally gave up. After being
'checked on' by them and by Nabiki, even Nodoka decided to 'assess' how
her son was acting by cracking open the door hours after we had gone to
bed. I hope she didn't think it was 'unmanly' of Ranma not even to TRY
anything... but she didn't say a word about it, so I suppose she must
already be convinced of his manliness.
It looks as if Ranma decided to go to bed without me, as he's
curled up on the side of the bed closest to the wall, snoring loudly. Either
that or he is just trying to irritate me enough to get me to come to bed.
Well, it's working.
Sorry to cut this short, diary, but it is getting late and we have
school tomorrow!
More later,
Akane
****************
Part I: Memories
Nabiki fingered a heavy green jade pendant that hung between her
breasts. It was trivial, really, and merely one of the long list of gifts
she had received recently from dear Kuno-chan.
She held a pale sunflower up to her nose and breathed in its
fragrance as she stared calmly out at the stars. It was late, and everyone
else had gone to sleep long before; Akane was no doubt wrapped in the arms
of her fiancé, content with life.
Nabiki pulled petals off the sunflower one by one and let them
fall out the window, sending them floating on the mild breeze to land
gently on the pond below, barely disturbing its surface. She looked after
the yellow blades impassively, and relaxed back against the window sill,
staring idly at another slightly-wilted sunflower in a vase on her desk.
A voice called in the back of her mind, a breath of memory, "A
bright girl like you deserves equally magnificent flowers..."
She shrugged the whisper aside, tossing it into the pile of her
past.
Nabiki liked to stay up late. It was one small freedom she had,
and Nabiki felt like those minute freedoms were important enough to hold
onto with both fists. She needed a little something to help her get through
each day in this house of lunacy where she had to live. Only a few more
months. If she could just hold tight a little bit longer...
She finally hopped off the windowsill and slid open a drawer,
grabbing out a faded blue cotton shirt.
Nabiki started to dress for bed, and slipped into the long T-shirt
and a clean pair of underwear before she stretched out her arms and yawned,
suddenly dropping to the floor in the splits. She turned herself sideways
and brought her legs together in front, and then started to do her nightly
leg lift exercises. She counted 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26... and mused as she
kicked out at the air as if it was a punching bag.
Somehow the numbers began to change into the chant, "Fight, fight,
fight..."
Nabiki had always had to fight for what she liked... fight to be
herself. She had fiercely resisted both Kasumi and her father's efforts to
make her dress in frilly dresses and such. Father was obsessive about
having ideal daughters, wanting them to be "just like their mother."
Nabiki snorted at that and then switched legs. Whatever her mother
had been, she seriously doubted she would have approved of Soun's
fathering techniques, nor of his tendency to compare them to a dead model,
a model perfect in that she was long past making mistakes.
Only Kasumi had met his expectations. She was perfect, accomplished,
modest, and excessively feminine. She did the cooking and cleaning and
took care of her father and sisters. Kasumi catered to her father's every
whim, always with a benign smile and a cheerful tone.
24,25,26,27...
It was ridiculous.
Kasumi had, in the process, effectively lost her entire
personality, her spark, her vitality. Instead she lived for the family,
and not for whatever it was that Kasumi might have once wanted.
Nabiki would NEVER let such a thing happen to herself.
Nabiki had tried to talk to Kasumi about it for years, conscious
that the enigmatic older sister she knew before their mother's death had
become almost a zombie, a facade. Kasmui had been a wonderful student,
quick to learn anything, including martial arts skills from her father and
cooking from her mother. Kasumi had been almost as much of a tomboy as
Akane was later on, always climbing things and getting into trouble.
Nabiki remembered being the younger sister, trying to catch up with
Kasumi, but never quite able.
Nabiki dropped her leg to the floor and took a few deep breaths,
and then lowered her back to rest on the floor, turning her eyes up to stare
at the ceiling.
Mom had died and everything went crazy.
Nabiki was halfway to seven when it happened, and she remembered
just that the house suddenly lost its warmth and its life; as if a huge
dark storm cloud had decided to come sleep on the Tendo rooftops. Akane was
so little then that the initial pain of their mother's death had confused
her more than anything. Akane spent days afterward asking "When is Mommy
going to come home?"
Soun was, of course, disconsolate at every query; he could not
seem to look at any of his daughters, they reminded him so much of his
wife. Especially Kasumi and Akane, who were her mirror images. Soun had
finally locked himself up in the family shrine, and no one, friend nor
family, and been able to persuade him to come out. Eventually everyone
gave up and just decided to wait it out.
At the time, Nabiki hadn't been able to answer Akane's questions
either. Nabiki was still young enough that she had only a small comprehension
of death- all she knew was what they had been told. Mommy had to go away,
and she couldn't come back.
It was Kasumi who finally answered Akane.
Nabiki remembered Kasumi's transformation as if it was yesterday,
and her older sister's words still echoed in her ears. It all began with
that answer.
Kasumi had been hit the hardest by their mother's death, as she
had found her on that horrible morning, asleep but not asleep. Kasumi had
come in to find out why her mother was taking so long to get up, as they
had so much laundry to do that day, and she had told Kasumi to be up early.
Soun had been up since dawn, practicing in the Dojo with the students he
had at the time.
Apparently Kasumi had tried to wake their mother up, but Mother
would never wake again.
"A hole in the heart...."
"She must have had it since childhood...."
"There was nothing anyone could do, it just stopped beating while
she was sleeping...."
"If only we had known that she had this problem before this
happened...."
The voices had echoed uncomprehendingly around them at the funeral,
as they watched their mother's ashes carefully deposited in the family shrine.
The girls had all lit a stick of incense and prayed, little Akane saying, "I
don't
know why we're here, but they say we're supp'sed to talk to Mommy.
Mommy, this incense smells really pretty, I think you would like it a lot.
Do you think we can buy some the next time we go to the market? I feel
funny talking to you even though you aren't here, Mama...."
Nabiki and Kasumi just held hands, staring at their sister, having
already finished their offering. Kasumi had tears freely running down her
cheeks, and her hair hung in bunches around her face. The lacy dark
crinoline dress she wore was crumpled up in one hand, and the other held
Nabiki's fiercely. Nabiki remembered looking up at her sister and
wondering why she was crying, not understanding at that point, as Akane
didn't, what being dead meant.
Three days after the funeral, Akane had come up and thrown herself
at Nabiki and Kasumi. Kasumi reached her arms down and held the small
mirror of herself close.
Akane began to sob and then flooded Kasumi with questions,
"Oneesama, where is Mama? Why won't she come back? Doesn't she love us
anymore? Why is Daddy being so mean? Why are there so many people in our
house, people we don't know? They smell funny and they aren't very nice. I
want my mommy! Where IS she?"
Kasumi began to cry too, and then swept her two little sisters to
her. She said, softly, "Akane, Nabiki. Mommy didn't REALLY go away
forever. See, Mommy couldn't stay here anymore because her body wasn't
very strong, and she had to leave that body behind and she became a
beautiful spirit."
"A spirit?" Akane asked, her eyes wide.
Kasumi nodded and then added, "Yes, a beautiful glowing spirit,
dressed in the most wondrous gold and white kimono, but invisible.
Mommy was sad that she could see us, but we couldn't see her, and sad that
she couldn't give us hugs anymore or kiss daddy. So you know what?"
"What?" Nabiki remembered herself asking, chagrined though she was
now that she had fallen into the same trap as Akane.
"Well," Kasumi smiled a distant smile, "Mama said that she would
combine her spirit with mine if I would help to take her place. So from
now on, -I- am going to be Mommy. Her spirit is still in me, and I will
take care of you and cook and clean and make everyone happy just like she
used to do."
Akane's eyes were still round, and she peered differently at
Kasumi, as if expecting to see her glowing with her Mother's spirit.
Finally she poked Kasumi softly, and then said, "You don't feel like a
spirit of Mama, Oneesama!"
Their older sister had smiled a secret smile and said, "Oh, you
can't see it or feel it, but she's there inside me. I promise. And I'll
make sure that Mommy is always there for you while you still need her."
Nabiki finally stood and went to go turn off the light. She
flopped down on her bed, and looked outside the window at the quiet
evening glow. She sighed, wondering why she was having all these memories
rush at her. All they did was make her angry.
Kasmui DID become their mother, by emulating their mother in every
way, until, effectively, she had BECOME their mother.
But their mother had been vital, alive with hope and dreams and
happiness with her life, her husband, and her children. Mother had what
Kasumi didn't: a knowledge of herself and her passions. Kasumi had buried
her emotions, buried her dreams.
Father wasn't any better. Kasumi had finally cajoled him out of
his retreat into the shrine with the smell of his wife's famous pork buns.
He had come outside and stared at the tray that Kasumi held, and then at
her.
Nabiki stood tentatively behind her sister, staring with fascinated
horror at her bedraggled father.
Soun said, "Kasumi? Nabiki?"
Kasumi smiled her mother's angelic smile, the smile that was to be
her trademark, and said, "Father, come eat, please. . ."
And, entranced, Soun followed her as she turned to walk to the
dining room, Nabiki lagging behind the two of them.
Soun was never the same, despite the fact that Kasumi broke
through the wall of his pain with her transformation. He had always been a
weak man, but he was far worse these past twelve years. He had from that
point on ignored the pain his children were suffering, preferring to never
mention his wife's death unless necessary. He had never taught again.
Nabiki often hated him for his weaknesses, just as she had long
ago lost her admiration for the sister who had sold her soul.
Akane had handled it all in a different way. Nabiki had to
grudgingly admire her younger sister, despite her naiveté. Akane had
thrown herself into her martial arts, even though their father had been
too useless to train her. Akane had focused on the basic things she
had been taught before their mother had died, and perfected those to the
best of her ability. Everything else was secondary, and Akane never did
learn to cook or to do any of the arts that Nabiki and Kasumi had been
taught by their mother.
Nabiki had felt sorry for Akane, and watched as she grew into a
beautiful young woman, far more lovely than her sisters, an exact picture
of their mother but without the grace and the ethereal calm. Akane had
come to be violent and to despise all men. It was a joke really, that
someone as lovely and special as Akane would hate men; but, as the major
male figure in her life had always been so incredibly weak, it was no surprise.
Nabiki actually had to agree with Akane that men were relatively
despicable, but Nabiki never thought they were USELESS. Nabiki again
fingered the warm pendant. In fact some men were useful, even. . .
profitable.
Akane had changed.
Akane had failed in her oath that she hated men, she had lost her
whole heart to one, one as useless and despicable as they could come. Or
at least that was how Nabiki saw it.
Ranma had sailed into the Tendo household like a full-winded boat
on the edge of a storm, his thunder and lightning disturbing the routine
that they had established in the decade since the passing of their mother.
The return of Genma Saotome and later Happosai had brought her father out
of the last of his dark world, and he began to laugh again with his old
friend and to remember the days when he was young and still full of life.
Ranma brought Akane alive, and instead of being the obsessive
boy-hater/amateur-martial-artist, she actually began to learn new lessons
and spend more time with a boy her age than she ever had before.
Nabiki had observed the changes around her impassively, excited at
first about Ranma's arrival in that he might be a profitable resource. But
Ranma was a bit... DIFFERENT... than they had all expected, and Nabiki
quickly decided that Ranma might be useful, but definitely NOT as a
potential mate for herself.
Besides, the last thing she wanted in life was to inherit the
Tendo Dojo, which was Ranma's future as husband to a Tendo daughter.
Nabiki wanted to get the hell out of the place as soon as she came into
her inheritance.
But Ranma. Ranma was perfect as AKANE'S fiancee. Nabiki figured
that Akane would beat him and pound him into submission, just as she had
done with all the other men in her life. Nabiki wasn't particularly worried
about Akane falling for Ranma. After all, Ranma was the epitome of all that
Akane disliked about men: unable to make decisions about his life, his
desires, his feelings, and he was about as intelligent as a sack of bricks.
At the time Nabiki had noticed that Akane liked another sort of
man: older, intelligent, kind, calm, dedicated. Someone like Dr. Tofu.
Nabiki saw a brief shooting star fire across her window's square
patch of sky, and blinked to rid of herself of the light streak it left
behind.
The worst had happened. Ranma had turned out to be a bit more than
Nabiki had bargained for, and that irritated her to no end. He wasn't
bright at book-learning, but he was a strong martial artist and clever at
techniques and strategy; and, although his love was occasionally a bit
obscured and convoluted, that strong emotion fairly glowed from him
whenever he looked at Akane. Ranma managed to poke and prod at Akane's
steel emotional barriers, trying to get behind and get close to the gentle
woman contained by them. Gradually the walls melted away, and Akane began
to return his fire and in the process helped to pull down Ranma's own
barriers. Ranma defended and protected Akane time and time again, and her
younger sister had finally fallen -and fallen hard- for a man.
Nabiki damned him, gritting her teeth. She had attempted
everything to break them up. First in little ways, later by encouraging
the "other" fiancees that had shown up. She didn't like Ranma, didn't like
the way that he was changing and interfering with her family's (and
therefore her own) life. But nothing seemed to break Ranma and Akane's
bond. Finally, Nabiki had just decided to make a profit off of the
relationship. She managed to get money out of the other "fiancees" for
"advice" on how to win Ranma, Kuno bought countless of pictures of
female-Ranma, and then there were all the gifts that came with the
"unexpected guests" at the "wedding."
Nabiki knew that money was everything.
It was her key to getting out of this madhouse.
She would have even sold those pictures of her sister and Ranma,
when they first started to be able to love each other. She WOULD have.
But Ranma, damn him, had once again stopped her, and made her
think about things which were best suppressed. That time Ranma actually
turned his powerful will on Nabiki, and, she clenched her fists, she had
actually let him win.
He had forced her to glimpse that which she had long ago tapped
down in herself: her loneliness, her fear, her need. Today when she was
telling him about Kuno was supposed to be nonchalant, letting Ranma know
that she was dating Kuno for her own purposes, and that she had not done
him any favors. But Ranma, in that enigmatic way of his that crept him
under your skin, had hugged her, HUGGED her! And once again made the voice
nag that perhaps she should let it go.
But Nabiki knew that she would never let herself care about people
like that again. People were pawns, and she moved them about on the
chess-board of life, waiting for a checkmate.
It took awhile, but Nabiki's thoughts finally stopped dueling with
memories and frustrations, and she made herself relax. Pulling the covers
up over her shoulders, she finally closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep.
(end of Part I of Chapter XV)