Okay, you probably won't remember considering the amount of people who write
to you, but I said once (and stand by it) that I don't pull punches.  This
might not be pretty in that case.  But first, let's talk about the good.
As always, you have put a story into your great way of writing.  The
description in masterful, on a level I have seen few acheive.  That must be
why people suggest you make a living out of writing, because what you do
write is written in a way that is easily understood and appreciater.
Believe it or not, I am actually studying the way you write in order to help
my own writing, you have an ease of reading that I can never seem to get.
Unfortunately, there is more to a story than the writing, there is the story.
Now, unfortunately, we get to the bad.  I personally found Magic to be an
interesting series, even if others didn't.  Only, I don't find Nouma to be
the slightest bit interesting as is.  Anyway, I will not comment on the
writing itself, because that is your style of writing, and I refuse to ask
anybody to change their style of write, besides, I like yours.  
The problem with this fic is the story itself.  While I have only read the
first part, that is more than enough to turn off whatever attention I had to
read it.  It was incredibly boring for me to read, and filled with things I
just wasn't interested in (sorry).  I just didn't find their psudo-normal
life to be anything worth knowing about, and while I find Khu Lon to be an
utmost interesting character, I find Nouma's super-mechanical way of doing
things to be an extreme bore.  What kind of guy sends a note to himself
every week to remind him not to agree to something ... for real?!  Really, I
could understand if he was only joking with her, but the computer really did it.
What's more, the discoveries of using his new body didn't come in any great
format, where his life depended on it, it came in life.  Now, while stories
of life can be some of the greatest written (example, your fic Sunday), it
only happens if there is a point, where I am afraid I cannot find one here.
And while Happosai might have brought an exciting aspect to the fanfic, by
the time I got to it, I was too tired of reading to go on.  
In short, this just wasn't a story I, for one, could get into.  While I do
hope others can and will enjoy it, as you deserve more than this petty
criticism that I am giving you, I myself cannot.  But that is just me, and I
know that you're a big boy so you can handle whatever criticism I give out.
I really do enjoy your work, and though this may be an exception (I even
liked the Thy Outward Part series), trust that I will enjoy your works for
time to come.
Also, if I might be so bold to ask, I would like to see a fanfic starring
Khu Lon and Mikanma (and even some of the rest of your marvelous cast).
While I detest Nouma due to his perfect and mechanical nature, I sincerely
love those characters.  I happen to think Nouma couldn't possibly fill
Ranma's shoes no matter how perfect he is.  Nouma is just too perfect and
machine-like, he doesn't have the weaknesses and flexablity needed to
succeed as Ranma did.  I always felt Ranma was great because he adapted and
*overcame* his weaknesses.  That, I felt, led to his success, not the lack
of weaknesses.  It made him see that much greater.

I don't plan on a slew of "aftermath" stories like I wrote for "Thy
Inward Love".  Frankly, the interest in "Magic" was not that great. 
Still, I just wrote this for fun, to see what Nouma's life after
acquiring the curse would be like.

Yeah, sorry to hear that.  Sad that more people didn't like it.  

The haiku is my first attempt at such (a poet I am not).  Let me know
what you think.

You did fine.  I'd love to see you do some "American" poetry.  I read Frost and
Shakespear's sonnets all the time, so I would be interested in seeing 
how well you do ... don't be intimidated, you're no doubt better than myself
in that arena.

Comments & Criticism Welcome!
sterman@sprynet.com

I hope you meant it, cause I didn't go light.  Gomen.

Oh yeah, and the love thing felt ... well, forced.  I just didn't get any
genuine emotional feeling like I did when you put Akane and Ranma
together.

As before, I hope you can understand and forgive a fan for the criticism, I 
know how I feel when somebody says anything about my work.
Keep writing, hold you head high, and make sure that what is on the paper
is the same as what's in your heart/soul/life.

						Josh

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"The fruit mixed with water in layers of leaves,
	Like two kinds of jewels, a vision for theives"
{Blueberries} by Robert Frost.  The first words of his first poem.

"Keeper:  In glorifying courage,
	Courage is of the heart by derivation,
	And great it is.  But fear is of the soul."
{A Masque of Reason} by Robert Frost.  The last words of his last peom.

Some men are born with courage, others with a gift.  It takes a rare man to
bring them both together.  There is one reason to write, it is a task of a
lifetime to find yours.  Only through placing our inner-most selves upon the 
cutting board, will we ever begin upon that path.  
*****************************************************************